Issue 006: The SpaceX Smoothie, a Series M, and the Burrito That Broke VC Twitter

Issue 006: The SpaceX Smoothie, a Series M, and the Burrito That Broke VC Twitter

Source: https://uninvitedcapital.substack.com/p/issue-006-the-spacex-smoothie-a-series Published: 2026-06-10T17:40:19.000Z Summary: Private markets had a very public week.

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Issue 006: The SpaceX Smoothie, a Series M, and the Burrito That Broke VC Twitter

Private markets had a very public week.

Rosie and Wazz

Jun 10, 2026

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Hello to the uninvited.

This is Rosie and Wazz, welcome to Issue 006 of Uninvited.

Quite a week. SpaceX got advertised next to the sea moss at Erewhon. OpenAI announced its S-1 with a shrug: “we expect it to leak so we’re just announcing it.” Robotics is no longer a niche hardware category. And the GPs spent the week telling LP horror stories on the timeline.

So let’s get into it.

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The SpaceX smoothie arc

SpaceX is days from the biggest IPO in history, and the marketing has reached the smoothie aisle.

Erewhon membership costs $200 a year and exists so that a specific kind of person can buy a specific kind of smoothie as a personality. It is, to be fair, exactly the demographic you’d model for this: high disposable income, brand-led, allergic to being left out of anything.

Morgan Barrett@MorganBarrettX I’m a little stressed about the SpaceX IPO - Erewhon is now advertising it in the members app 7:29 PM · Jun 8, 2026 · 479K Views * * * 47 Replies · 56 Reposts · 2.18K Likes We don’t have a take on whether the SpaceX-as-wellness-good moment is the top of the cycle. We do have a take on what it means when private-market hype reaches the part of LA where people pay $20 to drink charcoal.

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Front-running the biggest IPO ever

The IPO is a formality at this point. SpaceX already trades onchain across five venues: Coinbase, Lighter, PreStocks, Ventuals, trade.xyz, with implied valuations between $1.71T and $2.07T. Pre-IPO access has hit its peak: continuous, liquid, public price discovery for a private company. The biggest IPO ever will be the first one where the market already knows the price.

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Wait, what is OpenAI doing here

OpenAI Newsroom@OpenAINewsroom We recently submitted a confidential S-1. We expect it to leak so we’re just announcing it. We have not decided on timing yet; it may be a while because there are things we want to do that are likely easier as a private company. But it’s a complicated set of tradeoffs and this 9:16 PM · Jun 8, 2026 · 3.25M Views * * * 558 Replies · 944 Reposts · 13.2K Likes OpenAI submitted a confidential S-1 and announced it on X, on the logic that it would leak anyway. No timing decided yet, though Altman expects it “within the next year.”

“The faster the potential RSI takeoff looks like it could be, the more it could advantageous to delay an IPO,” he reportedly told his staff, because the “technology and the world may change in surprising ways, and there might be good reasons to be a private company during that time.”

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Robotics is now a generalist trade

Look at who’s most active in private robotics right now and you won’t find robotics specialists, you’ll find Coatue, Lightspeed, a16z, SoftBank’s Vision Fund, NVIDIA, and even Fidelity. The same capital that powered the AI trade has moved decisively into robotics, and the sector has effectively been absorbed into it. Per PitchBook data, robotics startups have raised over $23 billion in 2026, nearly matching 2025’s full-year total of $26 billion, and on pace to surpass it.

The takeaway for private market investors: robotics is no longer a niche hardware category with its own capital base. And when crossover money, public-markets giants like Fidelity, and the sector’s biggest strategic in NVIDIA are all setting the pace, robotics gets priced like software: faster markups, bigger rounds. Whether software-style capital has the patience for hardware-style development cycles is the open question.

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The IPO is lava

Databricks is in talks to raise at up to $175B. The round is a Series M. You heard that right. A company that large, with the listing window this open, choosing a thirteenth private round, is not an accident.

Are companies afraid of the Big 3 drinking the pool? Nobody else is getting in the water this season?

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Meanwhile: $500M, no fund

TechCrunch@TechCrunch Instead of spending a year raising a formal venture fund, the Sabertooth VC founder used a captive network of LPs to invest startups like Anthropic, Anduril, and SpaceX. spr.ly/6016B826Eg 12:29 AM · Jun 10, 2026 · 37.1K Views * * * 9 Replies · 6 Reposts · 112 Likes TechCrunch profiled Sabertooth Capital’s Justin Ernest. Nearly $500M into ten companies in twelve months, with no fund. SPVs, single-asset vehicles, a good network, and company-approved allocations in names like Anthropic, Anduril and SpaceX. His read on the moment: “I think this will end up being one of the best vintages of our lifetime.”

A traditional fund takes a year and a half to raise. The trade, evidently, is to skip the back office, keep all the gains.

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“Dear LPs, let’s do better,” beg the GPs

The GP group chat moved to main this week. All over the timeline, fund managers are publicly trading stories about the worst LP behaviour they’ve survived.

Alex Pall@AlexPallNY lol you just started the next thread. GP horror stories of dealing with bad LPs Rick Zullo@Rick_Zullo If it makes you feel better, a LP we pitched in Fund 1 asked to meet at Monday 7am when my daughter was born 2 days before They showed up 45 minutes late and ate a breakfast burrito during the pitch before telling me that they weren’t looking to add anything new to their book 10:15 PM · Jun 5, 2026 · 73.1K Views * * * 9 Replies · 2 Reposts · 103 Likes It started with Rick Zullo of Equal Ventures. An LP asked to pitch at 7am on a Monday, two days after his daughter was born, showed up 45 minutes late, ate a breakfast burrito through the meeting, and passed.

Turns out everyone had one of these saved up:

• The LP who summoned a solo GP to a tennis club 90 minutes outside London, dialed in late from his car, then asked why her father or husband wasn’t funding her. (@sarahdrinkwater)

• The LP who no-showed his own meeting in the Presidio, then emailed “come back” at the end of the slot. (@oanaolt)

• The two LPs who defaulted, sued, lost, and sued again. (@DesireeCachette)

• And the LP who verbally committed, received subscription docs the next day, then pulled out because his astrologer said the stars weren’t aligned. (@pavelprata)

The stars, as of press time, remain unaligned.

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The Uninvited Interview

About Zach Holman and Signed.com

After 230 Startup Investments, One Lesson Stands Above the Rest

After writing 230 startup checks, the founder of Signed.com, Zach Holman, believes many founders are optimizing the wrong variable.

A $250k investor who disappears may be less valuable than a $1k investor who brings your first enterprise customer.

In Zach’s words:

“The minimum check size is zero.”

It’s a simple sentence.

But it may explain one of the biggest shifts happening in venture capital. More in this week’s Uninvited Interview.

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If you’re raising, allocating, or sitting on a position that suddenly feels less stable than it did last week, hit reply and tell us what you’re seeing. We read every one.

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