960. - Chris & Jason

[00:00] All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. [00:30] on YouTube. How long gone? Chris Black, another beautiful day in New York City. We're having a prime week, I would say. [00:56] And I'm ready for all to come crashing down sooner than later just because you know, I [01:01] god gives and god taketh away jason amazon prime week in new york savings to be had god oh whoa hold on i didn't know it was amazon prime week let's get that out of the way up top what are you copying no no you just said it was a prime week in new york and i got excited i had my little bag i'm sorry about that you love you love deals i know that about you i just ordered something i just put in an amazon order minutes before the the show began recording not to go full behind

[01:31] Let's run down the order, bro. Let's go. Come on. Pull it up. [01:34] Pull up your wish list from your bio and let's see what you're... Can you believe this is still a free podcast, you guys? All right. Syringes, syringes, syringes. Do you think your customers bought you anything? [01:45] Okay, my card. I got two cases... [01:49] Two cubes of LaCroix sparkling water in the pure flavor. Oh, interesting. You're buying that on Amazon. Yes. I found that you can buy the 12 packs of LaCroix. [01:59] Yeah, I think you can just get the regular cases delivered and it just shows up in a cardboard box with all your other Amazon stuff. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I see. That's what I was. And they're like $5 a cube. That's what I was going to say. That's annoying because I buy them on it on Fresh Direct type shit. Fresh Direct. You could also buy them with our friends at Hungry Root as well as Flash Food. A lot of solutions out there for your water needs. You know, you know, all of our, you know, our listeners are if you ain't on the plane. Actually, you know, I wanted to bring this up to you because I found it. [02:29] I don't want to deprive people of this. I know, we're like two puppies of the dog park. We don't know what to do. Shit or piss or bite. Oh, oh, oh. Okay, next up, I bought my Gauchy exfoliating shower towel. I like to switch those out every... To be honest, it's more quarterly, but it should be monthly. Okay. [02:50] That's true. They are washable. You know, you could throw them in the wash with them and it's fine. I know you ain't washing that shit, bro. Come on now. I know you ain't washing it. Don't lie. I'm not washing it, but I'm buying it. What's worse? That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying buying it is better. I'm saying I like to replace my shit. So you're saying treat the Gauchy like the ones. Treat the Gauchy like the Supreme White Tea. Oh, you know, wear them once, throw them away. Even if they ain't stained, they're stained. You know what I mean? I went with the color gray because that's all they had, but I'm a big fan of the Gauchy exfoliating shower towel.

[03:20] long body scrubber with gray because that's all they had no i'm just looking at the little looking at the my shopping cart and it says color gray and i was like it's funny that you say that as if i had an option wait i do have an option i can go blue gray green red as well as yellow should i get pissy yellow i mean piss yellow actually that that made our um we made a handover [03:50] And Piss Yellow, my edition, did make it on the chart. We're going to see. It literally says Piss Yellow on a document with 100 T-shirts, which I felt like a real accomplishment. Wow. I mean, I'm proud. [04:01] I'm like a proud surrogate father. I'm not saying I invented piss, but you've been on the forefront of piss. But I've been right there with you, brother. Since we've been on the front lines of piss since day one. Two urinals side by side, holding hands, letting it go. [04:20] does feel somewhat SVU vibes. So I'm glad. Okay, blood. I'm glad. I was thinking more like, is it a West Side Gun type of situation? I keep a red rag on me in the shower. There's a new YG album, another stinker from YG, but I'm sure that he keeps a red goshi in his shower over in Calabasas. I'm sure. I keep my red boshi. [04:44] What color is that? It's not copper, it's bopper. [04:48] Yeah, maybe I will switch it out for the red, mix things up in the bathroom. People, all the time, they're talking about mixing things up, keeping them spicy in the bedroom. No, no, no. Hey, what about the bathroom? What about the bathroom? What about the bathroom? Once again, under-celebrated. All right, so we got a goshee towel. We got water. Got goshee towel. Got water. Got some wellness formula. Got some MCT oil powder. Okay. And then I got some coconut oil and vitamin E facial powder.

[05:17] like moisturizer basically sure okay um nice nice haul i'm switching from beef tallow to coconut oil just because you don't want to smell like fucking mainly because my wife thinks i smell like it's disgusting fucking mother wolf i don't care how well it works like i honestly and i believe that it does work you know i mean i believe that it does because it wouldn't be so popular of course but what's what's the total on this cart looking like hold on i'm just i'm amending my my uh towel [05:47] add to cart looks like we're looking at six items 94 okay we kept it under a bill that's nice a little something light on sunday something light yeah it's not a big deal and i'm gonna do i do amazon day wednesday for a lower carbon delivery fuck no bro amazon look amazon is the devil it's ruining our it's ruining our world if i'm gonna if i'm gonna be part of that i'm gonna i'm gonna accelerate i'm putting my foot on the gas i can literally select it to have it arrive before the [06:17] Well, here's the thing. Also, when they say group it together, hell no. I want you to send each thing individually if you can, if that means it gets to me faster. That's not true. No, I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that. I mean, as much as you disdain your door people in your NYC building. Not true. You would not do that because. Not true. First of all, they're all men. I want to be very clear. What does that have to do with it? You said door people. I just wanted to correct you because you were wrong. I got it. I got it.

[06:47] door partners some of my door partners i love some of them i don't like as much but it's a job that requires a lot of discipline and lack of personality you know what i mean your job is to like because i mean you see a lot of these older people in the building requires lack of personality i would say that's all personality nope no no no you're i well yes i mean in theory in my new york not in your new york of course yeah in the in new york you've lived in for years and years i think that the um i think that the issue is you see the old people chatting these guys ears off so i think [07:17] When someone like me comes in, it's just like, what's up, man? How are you? You know what I mean? And keep it pressing. All business black comes in. They go, oh, thank God this cracker don't want to talk to me at all. Thank God it's not another person with a walker wanting to talk about fucking, you know, inter-building politics. You know what I mean? And then you and all the other young bucks in the building just counting the days until they die so you can break down the walls. Break down the walls! [07:47] all-known music writers called Midwestern Death Trip. I'm familiar with the book. [07:51] I think I follow Megan on Twitter, which is cool. He was like, oh, you guys should have her on the show. She's really good. The book is good so far. I was like, all right, let me go just buy it while I'm thinking about it. And for the first time ever, I went on Amazon, last one available. So when I clicked... [08:07] When I clicked buy, I was like, this is so sick. It's officially sold out on Amazon, which I know that's no Books Are Magic or bookshop.org. But I feel like selling it out on Amazon, me being the one who bought the last, I felt good about it. Once again, Chris Black is responsible for a woman in the creative arts for selling out.

[08:29] That's right. Sometimes all it takes is one book. Sometimes it takes maybe a deal with Uniqlo or something. [08:37] One way or another, we're going to sell out, honey. We're going to sell them out. But yeah, okay. So I want to talk to you about a new drink I tried. Because, you know, I'm not really a new drink trier. How's the book, by the way? Too soon to tell? I haven't started it yet. Actually, I'm still in the... I'm still finishing another one. Shout out Megan Garvey. But so I was... Shorty knows a dive bar. I was at Elbow Bakery. [08:55] because our friend Spencer is moving to the Yay area, so we were celebrating, and people wanted to have hot dogs at Elbow Bakery. I guess there's a delicious hot dog there. And, of course, they sell out. [09:06] It's New York. [09:08] So I go Friday afternoon. It's a beautiful day outside. It's bumping. There's a line at the bakery for fucking hot dogs. [09:15] Cho and She... There's always a line at that bakery, hot dog or not, right? They're shoveling dogs in. Shiv and Cho, they're getting two dogs each. It's going down. Of course. It's going down in the glizzy space. And they get a drink that I've never had before and bring it out. [09:33] And I normally wouldn't even take a sip of this, [09:36] cup was poured for me it's called strange water have you had this jason no okay it's got it's got some strange it's got some very very very dtc packaging which i which would have kept me away from it but then i took a sip and oh baby pow a sparkling coconut water is strange because i typed in strange water into google no other words just strange water and then the first thing i see

[10:06] These motherfuckers. These motherfuckers. See, Tom Brady's ruining the coconut water market. Tom, fuck you, man. Let these independent coconut water creators thrive, okay? You're not an indie. Fuck you. You're not an indie. Okay, Strange Water, Coconut Water, Sparkling Coconut Water. The fonts are definitely giving... Austin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, which I'm okay with as long as the product is good. The product is delicious. I really liked it. So much so that yesterday, Alex and I went to her favorite restaurant in New York, Jim. [10:36] I was able to resist the strawberry matcha slushy, which for some reason was calling my fucking name. It just looks so refreshing. Are you talking about like Jim Home, the little market? Yeah, Jim Home. Yeah, Jim Home. Yeah, yeah. And I purchased another strange water because Alex loves coconut water. She also loves sparkling water. I was like, this is going to be the perfect drink. Sure. And she also loved it. So I think I might try to cop a 12-pack and see if I can integrate it into my life. Only 80 calories, too. Four packs are available for 15, so hold your horses there, sweetheart. Okay. This is good. [11:06] gray the the coconuts are from the famed coconut kingdom oh the uh a region of vietnam okay where special coconuts are renowned for their sweet and tasty exceptional quality in terms of coconuts you simply cannot do better this is a great plug i think i've said enough for them to drop maybe one of each over to the house in glendale hit the they have other they have other flavors or something i don't know i think they just have regular and sparkling oh they make regular okay

[11:36] Here's my next question, which is something that I like to do, which is mix the coconut with the espresso. Oh, yeah. I mean, I would try that. I would try that. I mean, the problem was it wasn't the best beverage to pair with a sandwich or a salad. Like, coconut water to me is an independent drink only. You just finish fucking ripping at Trestles or Malibu or something like that. You cool down with the little... Cool down. Yeah, but it really was. It was delicious. Serve it with a tortilla chip. Maybe that's about it. Really? Why would you say that? Because of the salt? Corn? [12:06] I want to drink the sparkling coconut in the car, feet out of the dash on PCH, half an eating bag of have a corn chips. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I see what you're talking about. They're not stale, but they ain't fresh. I'm noticing lately that some of my favorite tortilla chips, and maybe this is my aging palate, but the best ones just taste like Fritos to me. Oh. Because I love Fritos, but I would never purchase. The best, so the best ones, [12:36] little bit of like a man-made... [12:39] engineered, fabricated, like the way a ruffle tastes differently than like a kettle chip, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like crack is different than cocaine. So you're saying you prefer... [12:48] The one that feels a little more processed by man. Well, the best ones you can buy in a store in New York, this is taking. What's the ones we used to eat all the time in LA? They're so good. Rusty's? No, no, no. Rusty's, of course. Remember that brand? Chica. Chica. Remember when we went crazy on those for a while? Yeah, I remember. Tacombi actually bags their own chip, and it's probably my favorite tortilla chip available at the market, and it really does taste like Fritos to me, and I find that so satisfying. Okay, the Tacombi tortilla. They come in blue as well.

[13:18] if you're into that kind of if you're a freak when it comes to the corn you want to go fucking i'm a freak on the cob i actually purchased some blue corn tortilla chips just two days ago because i like um oh i made some guacamole but oh jason's famous guacamole yeah and i've learned as i've gotten older not to go bourdain mode but you know with the guac less is more you really you really want to use the good ingredients and get out of the way it's like [13:44] As I get older, I remove more and more ingredients from it. Okay, so you're putting less... You're putting less Hellman's mayonnaise in it now? There's almost zero Hellman's going into it at this point. [13:57] Of course, there's a QP base, but no, I mean, it's literally like... [14:01] I used to do red onion. There'd be cilantro. Oh, sure. A lot of people put tomatoes in there. Hell no. Get those tomatoes out. I don't want no chunks in my shit. I know. And when I would do the tomatoes, I would like... [14:12] seed them and remove all like the wet stuff that makes it all soggy and discolors it and it's just you're and you're like brunoise of the shallots and all this shit but basically just avocado lime salt and garlic and you know you could do some cilantro in there if you want but like it just everyone likes it more when there's less shit in it yeah i would i would agree with that i think that we i think assuming you have a great avocado that's that's nine tenths of the job this is this [14:42] of the drama when ABC Cochino opened and they had the peas and the guacamole, which tasted fine to me, but people really responded in it. The texture wasn't bad. Even as a guy who hates boba, I wasn't mad. Yeah. I'm not mad at the guacamole that has edamame in it either. Yeah. That's called fusion. It's called fusion, but it's also a good filler ingredient. Edamames are cheap, loaded with

[15:12] a lot of calories, good fat, of course, and very finicky. If you don't get a good one, they're nasty and disgusting. Edamame is always there for you. You know, stretch out that guac if you have a family of 12. You know us. We're both. We're never doing it. We have to go to the prep kitchen for this shit. Or, you know, you're poor and you've got to throw a wrap party for your Polycules indie flick and you've got three avocados and 45 people. We've got to stretch it out. We didn't make it in Tribeca this year, but the Ridgewood Film Festival is [15:42] We didn't win a prize, but we are in it. So I think this is something to celebrate. We didn't win a prize. They said we could buy a prize if we choose to, and that's why we have this GoFundMe set up. We could buy a prize. How did you do? Well, we bought a prize, and it seemed like we did pretty well. I got a plaque on my wall now. It reminds me of when I made the badminton team in high school, and then after everyone was done celebrating, they said we realized that nobody... [16:05] was cut every single person who tried out made the badminton team all all eight of us go outside and look on the look at the piece of paper post on the wall hoping for a crossed out name or two and it's just every everybody's still there i also in other food news i i went to uh roy and ali are in town because he was doing the the how to spend uh festival thing this weekend as well the ft weekend and um he wanted to go to potluck which is a chinese restaurant that is near old

[16:35] order the jellyfish salad. [16:38] This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian, stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions, but how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week, and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points [17:08] stuff than we do that's just a guess the guardian is not some billionaire owned platform they're not afraid to say what they want to say brother yeah rupert ain't sniffing around in in what uh journalists kai wright and carter sherman are up to over there at uh stateside but yeah listen wherever you get your podcast you can watch on youtube is three times a week and and who couldn't use more news you know especially especially when it's [17:32] when it's not... [17:33] you know, from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. [17:38] All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Poshmark. Jason, I know you've used the site before. It's a really easy way to shop, and it's one of my favorite fashion resale marketplaces. I don't know if you're into brand names. I can be, depending on how I'm feeling, but you want to talk Levi's, you want to talk Blundstone, or you want to talk Chrome, you want to talk Prada, you want to talk Mewmew, you want to talk Bottega. We got it all at Poshmark,

[18:08] I'm a big hunter. I like going on eBay and digging around and sometimes stuff isn't there. Same thing with Carol and my wife. She's a wardrobe stylist and she's like, you know, the real shit's on Poshmark. For the real heads that know, you can find those, you know, little grail pieces that you can't find anywhere else. Some kind of archival stuff going on, but also, you know, the day-to-day regular kind of staples like you're talking about, some nice vintage Levi's. Tons of them over at Poshmark. And, you know, when you're ready for [18:38] refresh you can earn some real money selling the pieces that you're ready to part with reaching more than 80 million users on the platform i like that sound of that chris what is there something that you're trying to track down on poshmark specifically i'm actually in the market for a new adopt kit a secondary dop kit second backup probably lv to keep with my my suite of products or maybe a prada nylon um because that that's also very uh durable okay i feel good about it but uh [19:08] because new deals and styles are listed every single day. So do not wait. Download the Poshmark app today. Use code HOWLONG when you sign up and get $10 off your first purchase. Jason, this episode is brought to you by BetterHELP.com. You know, for some of us, summer is our favorite season. The sun is shining. You're taking road trips. You're in the ocean. You're in the pool. You're having maybe a cocktail. We're traveling. The kids are out of school.

[19:38] Crick. But for others, juggling all that summer fun can be tough. Counting down the minutes until the kids are back in school ain't healthy for anybody. You can't waste the days of sunshine, but more importantly, you can't waste time worrying. [19:50] about if you're using the Days of Sunshine. [19:54] the best that you could, Jason. Yeah. Overthinking summer. It happens to a lot of us workaholics out there. Or let's say, you know, you just, you're, you're about to go spend a lot of time on the beach at the pool and you don't want to be one of those guys that always has to pull their shirt down every time you lift your hands up or do a cannonball with a little therapy with our friends at BetterHelp. We'll be able to, you know, fall, do a tumble, do a cartwheel without [20:17] Quickly pulling that shirt back down to cover your stomach. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, serving over 6 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5. Based on 1.7 million client reviews, you don't have to say yes to everything this summer. Find support in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com slash howlongthatisbetter.com. [20:46] H-E-L-P dot com slash how long. [20:49] you [20:51] I, of course, that had never crossed my lips. I'd had maybe a jellyfish in an omakase situation. This restaurant's called Potluck Club. Is that correct? Yeah, it's fucking banging. It's very, very good. We'll see about that. But the jellyfish salad was, I really liked it, but I could only do a couple bites because the chewing. My jaw, I mean, you know me. Like, I can give gawk gawk, but it was just, I could not. I could not. Like, I really liked the flavor. You're saying you could bang out wraps.

[21:21] to. Yeah, I like the flavor and I like the texture, even though it was like the texture. You'd rather be chewing on a woody or mushroom, perhaps. They're woody or forward. They're amazing, amazing dumpling. But anyway, I was just like, wow, I've never had this before. And I think that seeing jellyfish probably scares almost anyone that's not [21:39] of Asian descent. Yeah. I mean, I would say, I mean, maybe it scares, maybe it's just like a hard nope. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's probably more accurate. I mean, because jellyfish like other things, I don't know, like in terms of like those types of Asian foods, um, I really like abalone, which is, which is known for it's like chew and you have to cook it the right way. And if you get a really well done one, it has that beautiful bite and a chew and people [22:09] like that for that chew because i don't think jellyfish has any flavor really it's more so that mouthfeel it's a vehicle it's a vehicle similar to you know a kelp noodle at arahwan or whatever it's giving it's giving seaweed a little a walk-a-man you know i mean that's what it's giving to me but i will i will say abalone abalone is an amazing she did an amazing job on our short film as the dp so i think that that's part of the reason we were we got so far in the [22:39] Avalone is a good name for a non-binary roommate. I would agree with that. It's a beautiful name for a roommate. It's a beautiful name for a roommate. What a beautiful roommate you have here. Okay. I like all the food chats going on today. And shout out to Roy.

[22:56] And shout out to, I feel like I just, oh yeah, I went to Etra, our dear friend, Andrew over there. Etra hooked us up with a last minute resi. [23:06] And I had this crab pasta... [23:08] They make some fresh noodles, super thin kind of tagliatelle. Bitch, don't lie. He's getting that shit from Italy. Don't front. You can't tell the fucking difference. Not every Italian restaurant gets it from Italy. Most of them do. And then Charlie had her Rolling Stone. [23:24] Her Rolling Stone cover shoot release at Max and Helen's, the Nepo Diner in Larchmont Village. I saw a lot of photos from this, and I have to say the combination of those foods with a sexy Gus Van Zandt Rolling Stone cover was a modern fusion that I couldn't have dreamed under the influence of drugs. [23:54] you know high-res high contrast black and white portrait of a beautiful woman shot by an amazing photographer and then you know trepasse tuna melts flying right by your head and i love it's kind of it's kind of it's kind of how we all live though in many ways it's it's it's a it's sort of an example of how we all live but i you told me something and maybe you don't want to talk about it on the record but gus i'm [24:18] I, you know, I'm a known Gus. Obviously, the films are not necessarily my favorite, but the photos I love. And I, you know, we went to his book signing. I got the book signed. He made it out to Chris Black and didn't make Tim's out to Tim, which is funny. But you fucking cunty little bitch. You had to sneak that in. You said that he was, you said that Gus for this event to celebrate this cover, he kind of got dressed up is what you said. He was wearing a

[24:42] - An outfit. - Well, he was wearing an outfit. [24:46] I guess it was him. Who else was it? Greg Araki. Of course. And then from Twin Peaks. So Kyle McLaughlin. You know, everyone's wearing kind of nicer business casual. But Gus, GVS. [25:01] He had a, you know, it was like a Hollywood... [25:05] kind of black t-shirt tucked into the jeans with some running shoes kind of vibe. Yeah. But Carolyn saw it from afar. Unfortunately, it was not the correct... [25:17] exact identify the shirt said something differently but she was like why is he wearing a solid core t-shirt right now she from a from afar it looked like the solid core logo but i think in looking back on the flip the flicker page it said something different i don't remember you know probably a lens manufacturer or no that's yeah he was probably wearing the pen of vision no of course yeah i mean something along the lines of it you want to see a faded pan of vision [25:47] hoping that his old ass who has to wear hokas all the time [25:52] I was like, you know, I've been getting into Legree. I don't know. Solidcore is just really for me. They're super nice. It's like dark in there. All the women are really, really cool when I go. And that was a dream of mine to see Gus Van Zandt on the reformer, the mega reformer. I actually... [26:08] Don't know what solid core is. I didn't know that it involves lacry. It's gnarly. It's one of the hardest workouts I've ever done. It's fucked. What do they add to the mega reformer? I don't think they're adding much. I think it's more just like the actual programming is just super, super hard. All right. I mean, you know this. It's a classic. Like, Alex is there. She barely breaks a sweat. You know, I'm fucking shaking. They have to bring a stick over to me. You know, so you can balance. They got the smell and salt. It's literally like, sir, are you okay? Type shit. The first couple.

[26:38] in your teeth so you don't pass out. I've only done it a couple times, but it's very, very hard. It's a really, really, really difficult workout. I just did a mega reformer yesterday. [26:46] And, you know, I was the same exact thing, you know, just anytime you're upside down, you just see the sweat just dripping off down your whole body onto the thing. But there's, in the class yesterday, there's this person that's always in the class, mysterious, doesn't talk to anyone, blonde, kind of Russian, attractive-ish. But every time I see her, she's wearing, it's a different kind of workout clothing, like [27:13] It's the same brand. It's like a fake brand I've never heard of, but it all features... It's like leggings and like a top, but the leggings are all cargo shorts. I have seen this. I think she appears to be like sponsored by a cargo... [27:29] Lycra. I have seen something like this in my fitness journey as well. I wouldn't say I've seen it. I've seen one person wear the same pair. [27:40] multiple times but i have not i didn't know they had flavors like that i guess is what i'm saying i didn't know they were i didn't know they were mass produced it felt like something someone made themselves you know yeah i mean it's it's very similar to there are there are worlds out there that i don't know exist in terms of like zach bryan having the number one song or like some random you know whatever artists you've never heard of that's at the number one charts like there's there's fashion realms out there that we [28:06] that you are not privy to, but me living in the Burbank Glendale area, you know, I'm able to see things coming off the dock that other Americans don't have access to. Coming off the dock. I think that that is... I mean, I see a lot of fake Sporty and Rich out there.

[28:23] Yeah, definitely. Well, this is actually... Shut up. Yesterday, when we were doing this American taste panel, this, like, sort of the... [28:31] functionality thing came up as like a sort of a hallmark of american style and i was like yeah i think that's the problem and that's why guys are wearing stretchy pants to the office because it's like better to walk in i guess or whatever you know what i mean but now not better easier cargo leggings that feels like the when are you ever putting anything in that pocket do you think she's ever cracked a pocket on the cargo leggings i'd like to believe that the cargo pockets are [29:01] this could be discussed on the How to Spend It Financial Times panel yesterday, but the functionality... [29:07] is not there at all. It's the illusion of functionality that us Americans are buying. No one's actually putting the Roto Hammer saw in their Carhartt working progress. No, no, no, of course not. They're using it to sneak in a Diet Dr. Pepper into the fucking Marvel, into the fucking Masters of the Universe screening at 1145. Why do you wear cargo pants? Oh, I can fit two Diet Dr. Peppers in each pocket. So I got four movies, three hours. That's perfect. I can knock them all out. [29:37] mic down each leg gusset it's like it's like on kids stealing a 40 ounce fish's jersey mics with the cargos tucked into the sauce me i will piss myself oh wow i'm glad you're back in the swing of things big dog yeah i'm swinging um we were talking okay have you heard let's let's do some music somber has a new song that he teased out and people are upset

[30:03] I guess people are upset, number one, that he's not getting any flack for looking like Ariana Grande. [30:10] It's just in terms of BMI, but he has a song called I Like You But My Body Isn't Ready. What do you think that means exactly? Maybe what's the goal of that song? [30:33] I maintain this. [30:45] I think Somber could be a virgin. [30:49] I know that seems crazy for a young, good-looking pop star, but I feel like his... Is he giving virginity rocks? Well, I'm saying that his, yes, but I'm saying that his sort of, his appeal is more... For those who aren't ready. It's a little more arm candy vibe than it is, I'm getting plowed vibe. If you want to walk around with role model, it's not because you're so attracted to him. [31:15] fit matches yours is kind of what I'm, it's kind of what I'm getting at. Got it. Okay. So we're, we're, [31:20] It's a beautiful chihuahua on Paris Hilton's lap. It's not the German shepherd that knows how to save a child from a building. He has no function in the bedroom. Just pretty looking. Sombra is not exuding sexuality at all. There's no heat coming off Sombra's pin-fin frame, I'll say. Of his loins? Whereas someone like role model, I see the... We'll call it loin. He only has one loin. He's singing and the shirt comes up a little bit.

[31:50] I'm chubbed up. It's different. Somber's got his whole belly out, and no one's even looking. I mean, if you're a 14-year-old girl, it's not sexual. It's the thing. It's like the idea of him is what you like. It's not even – I just think he's – You don't actually want to have sex with him. You just want to be – [32:05] near him and then kind of scream and then like take a photo and show your friends once you get home yeah because if he talks it's going to be worse you know what i mean so it's like the best possible scenario is a selfie at a mall is first base with selfie it's selfie on melrose is number one that's that's that kind of the end that's the first base and home run of the whole project i would say okay so you don't think that well i mean whenever my conspiratorial brain whenever there's [32:35] labels were like, oh, like you're no longer like, [32:39] You're not like geese who just blew up like [32:41] you're sort of crafted in a lab a little bit. It makes you wonder if this is a decision or if this is just something like he already had the song, you know, in his little lyric book from high school, and now he's going to roll it out. Or is this something saying like, we need to, you know, have a song that's giving virgin vibes or like we don't have to fuck? Unfortunately, I think he's the real deal in a way that I don't like to admit. Like, I think he can actually write a smash, no problem. [33:11] That's why it got so big so quickly is because the songs are hits. I'm not debating that. [33:17] I think he has the ability, but do you think now, do you think that like powers that be are like trying to

[33:24] You know, just point him in the direction. [33:27] Because it has a little, as young people are becoming more and more asexual, it has the Liz Lemon vibe. There's an episode of 30 Rock where she has a crush on Steve Martin who's on house arrest. And he's saying, we can't do anything. I have a weird phobia. I can't have sex. And all we're going to do is sit on the couch and watch TV and eat ice cream. And she's turned on by that. [33:57] Sex is scary. I just want to look at you and look at pretty guy. The problem is I think that Sombers hit that point [34:05] pretty early in his career where he can literally shit out anything and those people are going to want it. [34:10] and like it like i think that the i think that his lyrical content is is juvenile enough where i just don't think it matters i wish it was more calculated than that but i literally think at this point they're like hey you got this far on your instincts like bro if you want to talk about being a virgin do it you whatever you got because isn't the isn't the is this the song you got the touch kid i haven't listened to it yet but is this the is it like [34:34] Is it like a video of him singing to the camera? Is that how it... It's not like you can't listen to it on iTunes. Yeah, it's like him and... Yeah, I don't know. It's like a little snippet on social media. Okay, is it... It's not released yet. Did you listen to it? Is it good? Haven't made it to verse three. I mean, it's literally just him... [34:50] Like beating his chest, like cry, screaming. Oh, it's that dashboard mode. There's no, okay, there's no backing. There's no band. There's no... It's just him and it's like him, like self shot on the phone in his hotel room. But he's singing...

[35:04] I like you, but my body isn't ready. But with the conviction of the Goo Goo Dolls anthem, and then he looks like he's about to sort of double over in tears and convulsions because he likes you so much, but is not ready to cross that line. I don't even, it's so stupid. It's honestly an insane thing. Now that you're describing it in that way that's so clear, it's like, bro, what are you talking about? Come on, man. [35:34] that. Well, I think it is pandering. It's sort of like uncharted territory in the world of heartthrob content creators. That's true. That's true, actually. You know what I mean? Where he saw an opening, and he said, I'm okay with [35:50] Virgin Money buys my Birkin bag just the same way that fucking Money buys... Yeah. This is a great route. It's low-hanging fruit. You know, there's a hundred... [36:01] 100 geese out there. I'm going to pick the slowest one, and my bald eagle ass is going to take him home and eat him. I need to watch the video of him scream crying to camera. That sounds like good stuff. Great stuff. Yeah, at the very end, I hate to spoil it, but he falls back on his hotel room bed. Come on. Because his body can't really... [36:20] It's unable to stand on its own anymore because of the virginity coursing through his thick vein. I can't, dude. I can't, bro. I can't with this fucking guy. I mean, between this... Did you watch it? No, fuck no. I'm not going to watch it. Between this and Benson Boone trying to make Alex Earl his beard, it's been a tough week for the fake Harry Styles. You know, it's been a tough week. Like, Harry's performing with an orchestra, you know, playing some of his classic songs. And then we got Benson Boone leaving a restaurant with Alex Earl.

[36:50] feet from each other, you know? Okay, what do you think it means... [36:55] that people seem to be more... [36:58] interested in Benson Boone and Alex Earl going to dinner than Harry Styles playing night after night of Sold Out. [37:08] arena shows well there's no i mean once you're playing sold out arena shows your job is done there ain't nothing to say about it kind of you know what i mean it's not exciting anymore like the ticket gate and the sellout and ticket master shit that was the fun of that now fans are just going to see what they paid for and he's you know if you like him it's delivering if you don't you think it's bad we're i guess like he's on tour with and rosalia is on tour he's you know 10 times [37:36] because she's doing the confessionals and she's doing the this and the that, it's popping up in the zeitgeist more so than him. I feel like he's just like a pink concert. Let's calm down. Let's calm down. I think that Rosalia played New York City and Maggie Rogers outed some guy on stage. That got pressed. Marcelo Hernandez went up there. Nobody was talking about it. Not that he's not. I mean, he's fucking funny, but I'm just saying to you that I think that that's the other thing I have to give Harry credit for. [38:06] I feel like people are like I'm seeing more like paparazzi photos of of her on the street than him I'm no you're looking at the wrong places bro you're looking at the wrong place well I'm not looking anywhere that's just what you know my algo friend the my little elf that lives in my computer is showing me and it's not like one is more

[38:27] But it's like, my feed is Rosalia Gay and your feed is Harry Styles Gay. What I'm saying to you is, though, is that I see paparazzi pictures of Harry Styles every single day. Pause. I also think that as we've discredited... You gotta start looking at chicks. Well, Harry Styles is the only one, only pop star in recent memory that hasn't done... [38:52] some sort of trick where he brings up his celebrity friends to do a shtick, which is interesting that that didn't make it. No shtick, no pic. Rosalia is the biggest psyop. I cannot believe that people pretend to like Rosalia. White people, white people. Everybody else, of course. I appreciate the show and the choreography is sick with all the hands. I've seen a couple of clips. It's very cool. I'm sensing some sarcasm in your voice, Chris. [39:22] that. I really think it's cool. I think she's really cool. I just think it's a lie if you listen to that music at your house. Well, I like watching her because she's hot. You like the hand choreo, which is cool, you know, whatever. I don't even think she's sexy. I don't think she's hot. [39:35] Okay, somber. Well, also, she's gay, bro. She don't want your shit. No, she's B. That's how they call bi over there. [39:45] Oh, you aren't up on that yet? Oh, okay. I mean, that's some new slang. If you want to take that down in your moleskin for later. She B. [39:52] Ask Jeremy. She'd be. Good point. [39:54] All I got to do is put on 60 pounds of muscle and lose two feet in height. I'm in a thregg bone. I will say when I saw her at the gym, I got it.

[40:05] All right, Jason, this episode of How I'm Gone has brought you by Superpower. And I don't know about you, but I'm sick and damn tired of leaving the doctor's office feeling like I got no useful info from these buzzos. You put on the white coat, you sit down, you say a bunch of stuff, but it's nothing I can use. Maybe you told me you're fine, drink more water as if I could. I'm not leaving with no real data, no game plan, just a pat on the ass. [40:35] my problems. Yeah. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who really cares about inside of my body and all the diseases. And now, you know, the doctors, they've been gatekeeping this info and they don't really care about me that much. Their head is out of the game. They're thinking about golf. They're thinking about what they're going to have for dinner. I care. I want to go through all these tests, hundreds of data points here, and I'm ready to go in with my internet research [41:05] how to help it because we don't know what's going on inside of our body. We don't know how much sleep we should be getting, what supplements we need, what foods we should be avoiding. And this info is all there thanks to science and technology. So make this year the year you stop guessing about your health with superpower. For a limited time, our listeners get $20 off to unlock their new health intelligence.

[41:35] That's code howlong. And after you sign up, they'll ask you how you heard about Superpower. Do us a favor if you could and tell them how long gone sent you. And that'll help support the show. All right. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Revolve. I don't know if you've been paying attention, Jason, but guys really be caring about how they dress and how they look. Luckily, Revolve, man, is on the internet, super easy. [42:05] essentials as well as our friends palms of course and it's not fast fashion it's not stuffy it's a sweet spot between looking intentional and not looking like you tried too hard good luck uh new arrivals drop twice a week with free two-day shipping and next day options plus returns are actually easy yeah it's true and that two-day shipping really is nice it really does happen i've used it a few times and it is surprising how nice things show up and you get excited to try [42:35] just throwing your shirt in a bag and kicking it down the hill. So whenever it's a big night out, a wedding, a trip, or you just need something last minute that actually works, Revolve Man always has it. Go to revolve.com slash howlong to shop and use code howlong for 15% off your order. Free two-day shipping, easy returns. It just makes things easier. That is revolve.com slash

[43:05] soon. [43:06] So do not sleep on it. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace, the dope OG place to build a website so that all of your fans, friends, foes, aunts, uncles, and cousins can check out what you're doing on the World Wide Web. Jason, we spend all day crawling the web and you see some sites that are shitty. They don't work that well. And you see some sites that are amazing and work great. And my guess is those are made on Squarespace. Yeah, all the good ones are definitely from Squarespace. [43:36] a place to secure that clever little dream domain. You know, everyone has that domain name where it is just perfect. It just has to be get clever with it, have fun with it and easily acquire it through Squarespace. And also, even if you don't have that website ready or your idea ready, claim that URL, invest in your dream. And then, you know, just sit on it. Maybe one day you could sell it for even [44:06] use an entire library of professionally designed award-winning website templates that you can then tweak and customize exactly how you want it to so people won't even know that you use that sneaky little ai oh god damn it all right so head to squarespace.com slash how long for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use offer code how long to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain [44:28] you [44:30] Sure. But also, she's an amazing singer, and she seems like a fun person and is a cool, sexy chica. She's like Claro with more seasoning. Yeah, no, I get all of that. I just think it's crazy. Honestly, I truly think it's crazy that white people in America love music that is not made for them, and they can't really understand it. Whether it's Rosalia or K-pop. Do you know what I mean? I'm like, oh, what is it that you...

[45:00] example yeah even say in english like what is it that you like i mean i guess i guess this goes back to lyrics she ain't saying human words lyrics yeah she's speaking robot i guess i i just think it's an interesting it's interesting that like that's what is really popular now maybe it speaks to the diversity of america you know but i know plenty of white boys that are listening to k-pop and it's like dude you can't but i guess we also know plenty of adult white boys listening to [45:30] I blame the internet for that. I think, you know, Japanese people have been coveting, you know, whatever, American rock and roll since the 60s and, you know, other countries have been enjoying music from other countries. Of course. No, of course. Of course. I just think that it... But you're saying it's... But now that it's happening in America, is that the difference? I think it's different, but I also think it's like people are making it their personality. It's not just like, oh, I fuck with this. Right. It's like a bigger... [46:00] more interesting, I think. Being like, oh, I really like Sabrina Carpenter is like, oh, that's cool. But if I really like Rosalia, that means I'm spicy and I get it and you don't. Or it could also just mean that that's what you prefer more and one is not better or worse and one's not signaling something more. You might like Oh, totally. You might like a tostada with chicharron more than you like whatever, you know, Zara Larson food, you know, sardines on toast with some schmorkenbjörg. In fact,

[46:30] In this case, Jason, I actually... Yeah, I like tostadas more than Zara Larson food. So that's it. No, of course. I mean, I agree. Of course there's real... I know what you mean about the identity. Because when you have a straight white American person who makes Rosalia their identity, you got to keep an eye on them. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. If you have a straight... Your 35-year-old homie who's really into... [46:53] you know, Blackpink or whatever, then yeah, let's keep an eye on them. Yeah, you got to just keep an eye on them. That's all I'm saying. And look, I'm sure there's examples of this that I am deeply guilty of too. So it's not, you know, none of this is out of the question. Or if you want to interview... [47:10] Olivia Rodrigo about boys she has crushes on when you're 35 or 45. I mean, let's keep two eyes on you. [47:17] That shit, I don't know, man. I can't even begin to get into that stuff. But that is the world that we live in. I mean, poptimism and fucking dissecting. But I feel like the Olivia Rodrigo thing, I feel like there's so much blowback. But obviously the numbers are crazy. You know what I mean? It's like breaking records. So I guess none of that actually matters. So who should be interviewing? I mean, I guess, is it weird that [47:45] It seems like more men are interviewing... [47:47] Olivia Rodrigo, then women. Well, Jason, that's something called the patriarchy, and men have more power in the media space, and that's something we need to work on. But I sent you that tweet earlier, that it's depressing that now if you've got an album to promote, you've got to go eat chicken with a bald guy or eat chicken with a British chick, which is fucking hilarious. But it's also like, I would rather see...

[48:07] I would rather see anyone talk to Sean Evans or Amelia than talk to Anthony Fantano or whatever. That's the bottom of the bottom. So... [48:16] I guess if we remove chicken from the equation altogether, Sean Evans at Hot Ones, when he's talking to... [48:24] the hottest woman on planet earth, [48:27] Zero weird ick, zero creepy vibes, zero hover hands. Actually, I haven't seen... I haven't watched it. This goes back to you talking whatever last week about how... Don't forget he's a stick man. Don't forget he's been pounding booze. Oh, Big Sean. Yeah, Big Sean, you can get poked on. All this to say he knows how to act around a famous beautiful woman and not get all sweaty. That's true. But then when you hear... I mean, and also somehow... [48:54] But Nardwar doesn't cross that line, even though he looks like a walking sex offender? Nardwar's not creepy at all. He looks like the wanted poster. And he knows where your mom's buried. Yeah. He literally knows your childhood address. He has your mom's mail to look through to get questions. You're right. He doesn't come off creepy. It's too nerdy. There's going to be a great Hulu Nardwar special after he dies and they find the hard drive. Oh, Lord. The hard drive's going to be like all the albums, the roots sampled. [49:24] to be it's not going to be as good as you think it is i think it's a problem okay i was hoping i was planning for something a little more in the neverland ranch space but i know you were i know you were but i just can't i i don't think but i do i was leaning more at david attenborough i think all of these places i i just think it's like i think it's fine you got an album to promote you got to go you got to promote it that's that's all good just where's the female anthony fontana is

[49:54] because men take things to this degree where women are like, does this make me look good and do I feel good in it? I'm going to buy it. Men are talking about stitch count and construction and where it was made versus where it was produced. You know what I mean? It's like men take everything to this level that's like, dude, shut up. That's not how you fold the pocket square. Literally. Literally. It's like women are like, [50:14] This dress makes you look hot and I like the designer and I'm going to buy it. And that's it. That shirt makes your titties look bad. Okay, I won't buy it. Literally. Convo done. Whereas a guy is going to ask Olivia Rodrigo the most insane questions about, you know, lyric writing. And a girl would just be like, yeah, this rocks. That guy broke your heart, you know? And it's like, I would rather hear that probably. Like I would rather hear Olivia Rodrigo on Call Her Daddy than I would on like nerd shit. Would you rather hear Olivia Rodrigo on Jake Shane's podcast or Anthony Fantano's podcast? [50:44] - Yes. [50:44] Jake Shane. I'm going to give it to, speaking of elves, I'm going to give it to Shane. And I can't say I don't disagree. [50:52] Because you don't get the feeling that Olivia Rodrigo is, you know... [50:56] has something going on in the back of her head. [50:59] You know, in her reptile animal brain of like... [51:02] danger is near yeah yeah like i just have a sense in the that there's a potential threat in the room i know that my managers here and several cast and crew are on set and you know nothing's going to happen but still i don't know i also i don't really know anything about anthony fonton i don't really know anything about him i've i mean i see his face all the time obviously and i know that he is very very very popular but i don't know

[51:28] Because I was under the impression he was sort of just the new Nardwar vibe-wise. Yeah, well, his thing is rating music. He's sort of like... Yes, yes, yes. He gives a number, a numerical rating. And people are saying, like, you know, now that he's interviewing people, can we trust... [51:46] Oh. His integrity, if he knows that Rodrigo's coming over to the stew in two weeks, are we going to give her a light three or are we going to give her a high eight? You know what I mean? I actually think that a guy like that takes himself so seriously that he would not let... [52:04] an interview compromise his review, which is good and bad. I agree. I found another somber video, and then we'll move on. His caption for that song... [52:15] I wrote this song about how every time I want someone, I'm too insecure about my body to do anything about it. Bro, shut the fuck up. Oh, my God. I mean, he is underweight, I guess. Yeah, we don't body shame on this pod and everyone is going through their own special journey. But big sum, I think the writing is on the wall. Every time you walk into a room, you got about 17 baddies who are ready, willing and able to do whatever you want them to do. [52:45] We need to mentor him. I need to Johnny Drama Somber. We don't need to mentor him. We need to give him protein, bro. He doesn't need any mentoring. That's part of the program. That's the whole program. That's what I'm saying. The whole program is eat more and work out a little bit, and let's get some shoulders. You know what I mean? Let's get like you got the abs down, but where are the quads? Where's the back? Where are the lats? Also, do we know maybe you'll look better with 20 pounds of fat on you? Not even muscle, but just like. No, don't do that.

[53:15] on 20 pounds he'd lose the ferragamo deal that's the problem he's got he's got too much riding he's got too much riding on on the on the bod that's the that's the thing about the music so tall he could stay sample size snatchy on uh yeah that's true 20 you know what i mean that's actually yeah i think you're actually right about that he probably could he'll only have to punch out three holes on the belt instead of four this time [53:38] Progress. Let's move into... [53:43] Drewski, [53:44] I mentioned a deep conspiracy theory that I don't believe, but he was spotted at Travis Kelsey's semi-content. [53:53] bachelor it was see this is the problem you're framing this wrong it was a dinner of four people but but the headline i read said he you know the uh the bro dinner uh the pre-wedding bro dinner so it's sort of like i said a semi-informal it's giving bachelor to be fair to be fair if you're if you're travis kelsey that is a tmz headline so you know take that with nothing if you're travis kelsey and you're getting married to taylor swift and you're getting married to taylor swift [54:19] then every dinner you have before that with anyone is a pre-wedding. Do you know what I mean? They're making a mountain out of a molehill. That's what I mean. But we don't know that for sure, Chris. The wedding is soon, right? If you think that Travis Kelsey's bachelor party would be him at dinner with three dudes in Malibu, you are sadly mistaken. You are sadly mistaken. What do you think his bachelor party is going to be? Is he going to be allowed to go to Magic City? No. No, no, no. It would be more of a...

[54:48] dive bar, maybe we're going hunting, fishing. You know, like a little... I would guess he could do whatever he wants. If he thinks that Taylor will let him, I just don't think she will. Well, what if she's cool enough... [55:02] to let him have a real actual bachelor party but maybe do you think she would control the guest list like you can invite some girls but not all of them and i have to know which ones like based on you don't invite girls to a bachelor party no matter who your wife is well i don't mean i don't mean as like friendskies i don't mean besties i mean more like the girl that was that drewski was with at at that party i don't know what her name is but i i searched it on twitter and there's [55:32] We'll say you in the football space. This is one of your worst conspiracy theories of all time. Three, four people went to dinner together. Mike, no, no, no. My actual conspiracy theory has nothing to do with that. It's more so that I'm, I'm worrying that Drewski worry. I'm in the process. I'm perturbed. I am worried. I'm in the process. I'm, I'm, I'm considering that. [55:57] the possibility that they are going to turn Drewski into a ditty because he's a lovable person that swims in all the circles. He's at Taylor Swift's wedding. He's at Chief Keef's wedding. So you're saying that you think they're going to send his fat, happy ass to go procure women for the fellas? I think that he is going to be somebody that they're like, all right, well, we got this thing coming up.

[56:27] Maybe get a little Travis and this little NFL baddie, a couple picks in case somebody decides they don't want to renew the Amazon podcast deal contract. And we got a little... Oh, you're saying Drewski would be running interference. They could just throw it on him. Yeah, they throw it on him. That was just Drewski, whatever. But all you need is the pick of Travis and the girl that he used to DM before Taylor came around together at some dinner. And then he will do anything... [56:56] before letting that picture go into taylor's claws and now you got him compromised diddy style you know because he was he would have everyone party get him fucked up and film them in those situations and people were alleging that you know major labels and things like that were using that as blackmail epstein style i don't think i think you've got to stop taking the edibles i think this is i think this is a i'm not like i said before i don't believe this this is just something that [57:26] inside of your twisted mind that maybe shouldn't be public. Maybe it shouldn't be public. If you're thinking like this, it's like, what is he doing? You know what I'm saying? What is who doing? Like you're taking the... [57:36] You! [57:37] That's what I'm saying. When your mind goes like this, I'm saying you've got to be careful throwing this shit around. Got it. Got it. Oh, because you're saying that they're going to come get me. Because you're going to get me caught up because I'm associated with you. Like, am I Travis Kelsey and you're Drewski or am I Drewski? You know, who knows? Look, I'm a friend to Jewish people. I'm not worried about myself.

[57:57] I'm not worried about you either in this instance. But I think Drewski is actually, the fact that Drewski doesn't really have any dirt on his name at this point, [58:07] He is very, very careful with what he does and how he does it, is what I will say. Yeah, but also everyone, they get comfortable. [58:16] And you start getting away with some stuff and you start seeing how far you can push it, you know? No, sure. Of course. I just don't think that's... Especially when you're a fat guy your whole life, he ain't got no pussy. And now he's getting some certified diet. Druski's getting more pussy than every guy at that dinner. No question. Druski's beating him off with a fucking stick. No question. Because he's got charisma. Exactly. He's got riz, as they say. As they do say, okay, I've been watching a little soccer, a little football. [58:46] I'm sorry to hear that. I'm trying to, I think, I'm getting bullish on sports. I think it's going to be big, Chris. I think in the future. [58:54] Well, I was thinking about this yesterday. [58:58] you know, the people are talking about the taste economy, and we have to like, this is like a, I wanna set up an agency where we teach, [59:07] people like us, guys like us who are not, you know, avid sports enthusiasts, you know, because it's good for the overall career to go out on the golf course and talk about how you lost 1800 on the Bengals yesterday. And you know about this draft and this injury, I think knowing about sports will potentially get you further, uh, you know, in, in the creator worlds. Oh, I think that's true, but I've chosen my path. I know, but I'm saying I can't, what I'm

[59:37] going to force myself to enjoy sports the way that like, dude, your jock dudes have to force themselves to like, [59:45] You know, geese. You're leaning in. You're leaning in. You're, you're, we're just, this, this is getting too suburban. [59:53] That's what I fear. If you start inviting me to hang out with you and your neighbors to watch the game. I would never, never watch my neighbor. Jason, that's what you think. But this is a slippery slope because that's the one, the great thing and the worst thing about sports is it brings people together that should never be together. Which is a beautiful thing. It's dangerous. It's a double-edged blade is what you're saying. It's a double-edged blade. It's as beautiful as it is dangerous. And it puts you in rooms with people you should never be in the room with. [1:00:23] I'm over here. It's just something to think about. Well, I'm keeping an eye on it. Well, I'm still in the process of... [1:00:31] you know, force feeding myself a soccer match. Well, soccer is not the one because that doesn't matter. Well, I've mastered watching a baseball game and a football game and a basketball game. You've mastered it? I'd like to talk to some real fans, give you a little test. I bet they would maybe say different. I didn't say I've mastered. You can plop your dumb ass on the couch and order a pizza. I can turn the TV on. Me too. Yes. I said I've mastered watching it. I could do that. I've mastered watching it too then, I guess. Yes, you have. We have the reps. [1:01:01] 10,000 hours. I have watched baseball games probably 10,000 hours of my life. Oh yeah, me too. Absolutely. Me too. Which is funny because it's after soccer, it's the worst sport. Potentially, yes. Potentially, no. But I was noticing something. I think that soccer players...

[1:01:17] Across all continents, not just certain areas, whatever, but no matter where you're from, from Canada to Sweden to Africa to China, whatever, I think soccer players have the highest population of black guys with bleached hair. No question. 100%. 100%. That is an astute observation. The thing about soccer that is the coolest is that they're the most fit by far. They're in unbelievable shape. [1:01:47] like endurance it's unbelievable but i just can't even begin to watch it or care about it and i i just don't know i i just don't even the world cup like i see people at bars and shit screaming and yelling but i i think in america it's an excuse to drink at 10 a.m yeah i think that's what i think that's really the the timing of it all especially with the premier league and all that stuff that is what i always thought appealed to people who are american because we're not raised to like [1:02:17] watching any sports really unless it's a cultural event like the finals or the super bowl or whatever or you know it's just it happens to be a really good you know crazy series and everyone has to watch otherwise i am not well i have no interest in it whatsoever and i know that so many people have true you know true true pleasure is is derived from this and i'm trying to tap into some of that regular pleasure just sitting there i am jealous of people who can enjoy sports i i'm

[1:02:47] I'm totally with you on that because it does seem like such an easy thing to sit back and just like. And, you know, I just I think that I have PTSD from this Knicks parade still. And the video of that fat woman dumping the trash can out and taking it home with her. Yeah, that's an awful video. It's an unbelievable video. And I saw somebody. So basically, if you haven't seen it, there's a giant woman who there's a Knicks colored trash can that they put out in the streets to celebrate the victory. [1:03:17] overflowingly full her big ass picks it up painted orange and blue ugliest trash can you could imagine her big ass picks it up dumps all the trash out and walks away with the trash can to i guess add it to her trophy room in in you know crown heights i guess i don't know going in the middle of the of the studio apartment unhosed the thing about that is i saw people saying that of course this is sports fandom but the real culprit here is like supreme culture like i you know like the way that [1:03:47] playboy cardi supreme posters people are like getting out their magnifying glass and a hair dryer and trying to get the wheat paste down to take home to their apartment it's like what do we what are we talking about like what are you we're gonna sell this on ebay in 20 years like i don't what is it that you want like what is so important about this they're willing to take a trash can into your house and well and also you're willing to be filmed by a hundred people in broad

[1:04:17] for somebody getting paid minimum wage to clean up [1:04:21] and then you're going to go home and spend a week and a half arguing with people on Facebook Marketplace and make $75 off it at the end of the day. No, it's authentic. It's been authenticated by the RealReal team? I wish it was because she was such a diehard fan, but I feel like it is more of a financial play, and I think it will pan out the way that you're saying, whereas maybe the investment doesn't return. [1:04:51] not the year to date, but the week to date, since it's only a week old, just like what the value, because I know that somebody somewhere posted that on Facebook marketplace and it was like, here's one of the trash cans, 1500. And everyone's like, oh shit, these are going for 1500. And then [1:05:09] Doesn't necessarily mean that anyone's buying these used trash cans for $15. No, and we can't. There's already enough trash on the streets. You know what I mean? There's not. You don't need to. Dumping it out like that. We still haven't recovered from this parade. Like, we still have not recovered. Like, there are still gates out. Yeah, you're still traumatized, and I'm feeling for it. I feel like you need to... [1:05:29] You need to escape from New York a little bit, maybe. Don't worry. There's always an escape on the horizon, at least. But yeah, I'm still reeling from it. I have to go out and about today, but at least it's nice enough outside where you can sort of overlook it. That kind of shit in the winter is much, much worse, but when it mixes with the snow. Oh, yeah, because the garbage system in New York is you just put the bags on the sidewalk, and then the rats kind of work their way in there

[1:05:59] get the train going. Well, speaking of travel, I saw a stat I wanted to run it by. You get some intel and maybe some insights as a local. Top five U.S. cities... [1:06:10] Ranked by OnlyFans Spending. Number five, Las Vegas. Number four, Miami. Number three, Denver. Number two, Seattle. Number one... [1:06:19] Atlanta, Georgia. Oh, hell yeah. We've done it again, baby. What is it about the ATL-ians that you think makes them [1:06:28] Want to patronize OnlyFans more than anywhere else in the country? [1:06:34] I like to think they respect strippers over there. They respect sex workers. It's a part of the economy and the community. I think that Miami, you're just supporting your brothers and sisters in the industry. Your neighbors. Seattle is like, I work at Microsoft and I'm a nerd. Seattle is if I don't. [1:06:52] do only fans i'm gonna kill my family i think that the you're saying this is no you're saying this is people spending money this is spending this is spending yeah okay this is spending then atlanta 100 it's strip club it's like oh it's like a strip club but i get a little more and i get to keep it i think that does that does feel like i think you get a little less and you get to keep it you don't get to touch it but you get to keep it good maybe okay yeah that's a good point depending on how much you're spending but that isn't that's a very interesting stat uh and

[1:07:22] maybe San Francisco, I thought like a tech, like a place where people are really flush with cash and don't, aren't necessarily known for getting chicks would be number one. And that's what I think. When I think of San Francisco, that's what I think of. Not necessarily known for getting chicks. I mean, think about it. No, it's true. Show me the lie. You're right. You're right. I guess RIP take Heath. That's sad, man. Very sad. Very sad. That's sad. I mean, he's 29. Apparently people owed him a lot of money, owed him a lot of money. Yeah, [1:07:52] He produced Sicko Mode, which is one of the biggest stream songs, just period, in the history of the world across genres and time. He should... [1:08:02] have been flush for that never have to work again really if you if you play your cards right if you produce sycamore and you you really get published on that you should never have to work and it's a shame because some of our goats are the ones who are potentially being called out like drake your goat and sexy red mine yeah it's true i i i feel like it's hard it's getting harder and harder for me to get it sexy i feel like drake i just feel like drake he's never had charges like this i know [1:08:32] feels strange but who knows we can always blame everything on travis scott always he's the culprit of everything bad that's how i looked is it bad it's everything bad i agree fuck r.i.p r.i.p take keith um all right let's go how long gone howlonggone.com is the website we're back next week with with more podcasts don't you worry thank you guys for all of your support on our bistro village trip uh we we we had a blast and uh i'm really happy with the way our little

[1:09:02] It was a tidy piece of content, wasn't it? It was. It really was. But yeah, thank you guys for that. And... [1:09:08] We'll be back soon with more Get Down or Lay Down. Yeah, and if you're living Boyle Heights... [1:09:14] I don't know. Put on a mask or something. [1:09:34] We talk.