965. - Griffin Dunne

[00:17] How long gone Chris Black still coming to you from a steamy Atlanta Georgia [00:25] where unfortunately no one climbed a tower to propose marriage yesterday. So it's a little, the action is not happening here right now, Jason. Well, once you guys get a tower, I'm sure it's going to happen soon, buddy. Well, once Ted Turner died, I don't know who's going to build one. That's the problem. I don't know who's left to build one. Tyler Perry, he's trying to get something different done, if you know what I'm saying. He's building more horizontally than vertically, is what you're saying. He would like to, yeah, with a little Mexican hottie. I bet he would. [00:55] whatever i think as long as they're 10 to 15 to 20 years younger does it really matter i don't see color i see age so so you're saying at the at the england mexico game he could go he could be sitting on either side but probably leaning towards mexico way i would i would think i would think if he had to send his assistant in to get tickets you know uh i i would i would assume he's choosing so yeah so you're talking about there's two like people who look like they just started djing who [01:25] Top of the Empire State Building and... [01:30] I guess people are like, these guys are hot. They're too hot to be doing stuff like this. Like, there's only ugly people stuff should be doing these sort of elaborate proposals. Is that what you're gathering? I mean, I kind of agree. But it's also, it's giving Banksy a little too much for me. Like, it feels like the guy who did the balloon. Like, you remember the guy who did, like, the balloon, like, I'm so woke statements on a brick wall? It's giving that. But they are hot. It's confusing.

[02:00] like a 12 pack and the chick is hot so it is confusing and they were released from jail they got out today so it was it was no big deal yeah i mean i'm sure i'm sure they'll have some charges they'll get a little restitution a little whatever they're they're they're gonna do any fed time but i mean i just don't like this sort of performative like i want to go like i i'm not proposing because i love my life partner i'm proposing because we have a social media calendar [02:30] july 1st hey man you don't know post something you don't know that they're not in love but they also plan this stunt no no i'm sure they i'm sure they're also in love but just to like i don't know yeah it's just so it's just so look at me like what's more pick me than a proposal am i right yeah no shit what what's it i mean it's just so annoying and like with the flag that's like love is peace and peace is good no the flag the flag that's the banksy part that's the part that's [03:00] did the thing you you risked your life to propose to your chick and she risked her life with you leave it at that we don't need the sign but i guess if you don't do the sign the picture hasn't hit the same yeah you know from that high up it's tough to get the bird's eye and then the the the real repercussion of of doing this proposing you know going up on top of a tall building with like a batman mask on with like 11 cameras and have a sign you know and every brand every

[03:30] using chat gpt onto this flag and it's gonna have a dumb ass you know like taco bell rocks or we know yeah that's right and every social media manager is like thank fucking god i don't have to use my creative brain for my creative job today i did see i'm looking at one flag photoshop that says i bet your fish head wife doesn't have these cans which is an internet reference i don't know if i don't know if you got that one but i know i i've read it before i don't know where it stems stems [04:00] It was the J.P. Morgan guy who faked that his boss was trying to. Of course. We have a bigger, I mean, in relationship news, there's a much bigger relationship. [04:08] thing happening this weekend and it's it is taylor swift and travis kelsey and it does seem like as as all signs are pointing to the real shit happening at msg um i'm still i'm still holding on to a diversion but it's looking less and less likely as you see the cisco truck truck back up with all of her favorite foods you know it's tough to it's tough to ignore what's happening over there in midtown with all of her favorite foods from cisco who's who's now a michelin [04:38] Just adding to the credibility. Yeah, it's really smart alignment. So you're saying, like I remember you said a couple weeks ago, this is a diversion, bullshit, blah, blah, blah. You're saying the wedding is going to be in two days. It's looking pretty close, but you're still holding the line. You're saying buy the dip on Pauly. I'm saying that something. Pauly wants a dip buy. I think something else could be afoot. That's all. I don't know if it's a full diversion or if it's like only the party.

[05:08] hassle inside you know um i i guess but i i don't i mean i'm just hoping for the best but i should be prepared for the worst just because we kind of know what we're dealing with she's made no secret of where her taste lies so chris uh chris black says something is afoot something is afoot i mean british crime drawing you know has a detective you know gumshoe black is never taking a day off i'll tell you that i'm always i got my magnifying glass out [05:34] Have they announced who's doing the food programming, any of the entertainment? Has anything leaked yet or is it all still very underwrapped? No, nothing is leaked. I'm going to say major food group. [05:47] I'm going to say that there's got to be some Carbone flavors here. Performance-wise, obviously, Bleachers is going to play. And then I think maybe Bleachers could serve as the backing band for several, you know, Spring Scene, Paul McCartney, Stevie Nicks. But then maybe Dashboard Confessional, Jimmy Eat World, you know what I mean? Because that's her other shit. Maybe she reunites Midtown. Who knows? Lizzo Comeback Tour. Lizzo's comeback. Starts today. I just don't know. [06:17] so frequently that it's tough for someone who's an innocent bystander and not a fan to keep up with like who's who's good and who's not but imagine getting that call imagine you're chris carraba with your you know you're in florida on on on break and you're like shit this was i predicted this i called this like two months ago that she's got to have dashboards sing singer down the aisle i mean it could be taking back sunday it could just be warp tour with stevie nicks and bleachers if it was if it was up to me we hired the warp tour we hired the war for the biggest wedding

[06:47] Taylor Swift liked Bad Religion this much, but I guess she does. Kelsey's got all the Mill and Colin stuff memorized. He knows what time it is. Well, maybe more importantly than the bleachers doing some bullshit, [06:59] Do you think that Taylor has deputized her five best chicas to do the speech during the 14,000 person dinner? [07:10] Like, is Lena Dunham... [07:11] in the in the studio right now pen in the pad i'm sure some of the speeches will be biggest fucking speech of her entire life i'm sure the speeches will be monumental and that that obviously all this information will will come to light once it happens but i wonder will will each heim sister get their own speech or will they have to do it in a it's a it's a trio speech right it's a it's a trio speech unless unless maybe one of them wants to take that you know unless unless danielle might [07:41] This could be an Alana. Alana's a little more, I think, ready for this. I wonder. And then, I mean, from his – obviously, his whole offensive line has to give speeches. And the entire New York Knicks starting five has also been invited, which feels like a Siegelman Stables activation. Sure. But I honestly – it is fascinating to do at Madison Square Garden, and it is – [08:04] maybe the worst possible thing to do um which makes me almost like it not to be perverse in a them genes way but at a certain point it's like if you're just gonna be you how can i hate it you know what i mean it's it's so twisted and and out there that it's kind of like you know what man fuck it this is who you are be yourself live your truth taylor yeah and we talk about you know it's not fun to be a celebrity anymore celebrity anymore and you know it's just not worth it

[08:34] Taylor's doing a little old, like if this happened in the 60s, you know, fucking Lana Turner, James Dean or whatever, like we're running out Madison Square Garden for a wedding. Like everyone would be parading in the streets. They're like, this is awesome. What a grand spectacle. We love these celebrities and what they're doing. What an amazing thing to do. It's, you know, the event of the season. [08:55] Only hate from everyone. She's fucking bullshit. Having a wedding on the weekend, the weather and the traffic and this is fucking busiest name. You know, electric grid is going to shut down. She can't do anything right, though. I mean, if you either love her, you either love her and you would jump in front of a moving private jet for her or you absolutely despise it. There's no measured. You know, the days of like having a measured opinion on Taylor Swift are pretty, pretty long gone, I would say. We're post sense. But also in New York. [09:25] They were fine with it when the fucking Knicks ruined the city for three weeks. You know what I mean? It's like, because that's, I mean, and I am too. Because that brings us joy as a new joker. I mean, I don't think Taylor Swift, I think that she also doesn't feel like, I mean, I know she has an apartment in New York, of course, and she lives there sometimes, you know, and has for years, but she doesn't feel like part of the fabric of the city, let's say. This isn't John Leguizamo getting married for the third time. You know what I mean? This is a little more. [09:55] First pull is actor, comedian, John Leguizamo. But he is very New York. I mean, I'm just thinking of... It's a great pull. Yeah, I'm just... I do agree with that. It's not that. So it's sort of like... So you're saying...

[10:07] Maybe we... Why don't we just get married, you know, in fucking Tennessee? You got a big old field... [10:13] Set up an awesome tent and do whatever you need to do. Yeah. In where you're from. Yeah. Or not even where you're from. I mean, it's just like. Woodstock. I just think that these people, you know, they pretend. Maybe she doesn't quite as much as some celebrities. But, you know, her, you know, if you're doing it in New York City, Mass Square Garden, you want the paparazzi. You want the chaos. You want. You want a piece of me. You want all of that stuff. Whereas I think most celebrities try to pretend that they don't at least. [10:43] also for just being like fuck it like I want it this derailed me well speaking of fuck it just this morning I was on my dog walk walking being around the neighborhood you know probably 8 a.m walking right in front of the the middle school it's it's summertime so not a lot of activity going on at the school but [11:01] There's a woman jogging towards me. We're maybe two blocks away, so she's far away. Maybe 40 years old. Looks like a little suburban mom. Average lady jogging along. [11:14] As she gets closer, I look at the t-shirt on the front. [11:19] A little breast pocket hit. It says, I fuck on the first date. Wow. [11:25] You can't read it until you're up close, so I'm like staring at this woman's... Sure. I guess left... [11:31] chest area and I start laughing because it says I fucking... Okay. And this is just... And the mom... And she looks at me like, what is this creep looking at? Whatever. We walk past each other and I'm kind of chuckling pretty loudly. And I turn around. On the back of the shirt, top to bottom hit.

[11:47] I fuck on the first date. Black letters, looks like a young Jeezy. Wow. I serve the fiend. Wow. And then underneath it, Puerto Vallarta. Oh, so it's a souvenir shirt from a trip. So it's a vintage souvenir piece. And this, I mean, this is like an upstanding woman of the neighborhood. Well, we don't know that. We don't know what goes. Glendale feels crime. I'm not judging a book by the cover, but I mean, she looked like every other suburban. Glendale feels crime ridden, just quiet crime. You know what I mean? It doesn't feel like loud crime. [12:17] We're making a lot of money from elderly care facilities and child daycare facilities, but it's very quiet because there ain't no kids in there. See, exactly. It's like Minnesota. The only loud thing you hear is the fucking... [12:31] the amg exhaust but that's a crazy shirt to wear in a in a suburban neighborhood for a jog but also to look at me and be like what are you laughing at jack yeah like you fucking well there's a possible there's a possibility that that's her exercise shirt and she's even forgotten what it's you know it's not even registering to her when she's pulling it over her head you know she's not even thinking about what it says because it's been in the closet for so long there's this it's just my workout tea pile i just grab whatever i'm such a busy mom on the go there's like this guy on [13:01] on Instagram and I'll see it sometimes like sort of like autistic, like self-destructive young people are making t-shirts where like, it'll have like the famous stars and straps fonts and like monster energy. And like all this shit. I know you're talking about. Yeah. And I have a gun. I have a, you know, a bomb strapped to my dick and I'm, I'm, it's so dumb. All that stuff. And,

[13:21] This shirt was on that level. Yeah. Well, it's also... The only person that should be wearing something like that is like a too slimy type rap character. Well, that's what I was going to say. It's more shocking because of the wearer. The statement on the front, of course, is shocking. But if that was on a 17-year-old wearing big jeans and he had cropped it, you'd be like, yeah, no shit. But all right. We do have a guest today. Griffin Dunn. Griffin Dunn. Anyway, star of stage and screen. Star of stage and screen. [13:51] today he's an actor a director a writer uh receives nominations academy award golden globe he's got a memoir that came out a couple years ago the friday afternoon club memoirist he's kind of done it all uh and i think he's i think he he might be ready to mix it up with us we're gonna find we're gonna find out get into the how many memoirs do you have to write to be called a memoirist do you think over under just one that's the beauty of it uh all right let's give him a call [14:19] This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by our old dogs over at Squarespace. Jason, I spend every waking minute of my day surfing the World Wide Web. I'm looking at social media, but you know me, I'm old school. I'm still checking out websites, baby. I type in that URL, I click, I surf, I find information, I delete information. It never ends with the internet. And most of the best websites that I come across were built on Squarespace. [14:49] websites to do some crazy stuff. You have a vision and you want to build a website for your new crazy business or whatever. But you could also, you know, let's say your dog is having a gender reveal party and you just want to have a nice destination where there's a rich FAQ section and a place where people can donate and view the registry or maybe even your wedding. You know, we all need a wedding website. It's just a thing that has to happen. It's a thing that goes down.

[15:19] - Yes. [15:20] invitations and websites this year only on Squarespace. Shit on the homies using Squarespace. So go to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. [15:34] This episode of How Long Gone is brought to us by our friends at Dart Collective. I think we can all agree that wedding music is typically quite lame, cheesy, and it doesn't represent the bride and groom's personal music taste. Luckily, Dart works with actual musicians and artists, many of whom have their own productive careers or tour in bands you've heard of, everyone from Leon Bridges to Taylor Swift. Dart DJs use vinyl and are cool in a way that your peers would be, [16:04] They even have an in-house stylist to make sure all personnel look perfect on the day. DART travels all over the world for events from Morocco to Italy, Greece, and the Maldives. DART has done huge celebrity events and also intimate ones. Yeah, Chris, I am personally friends with Michael from DART and I have worked with them for years. I think the last time I did a big one, we did the Sweet Green show. [16:31] wedding. They set up a beautiful booth for the ceremony, just some cocktail music, some vinyl, some cool vibes. And then they set up a whole big tent with a crazy bumping sound system for me to play in later. These guys are great. A lot of people always ask me like, hey, do cool wedding DJs exist? Do cool event people exist? The cool part about Dart is they'll work with people like me to come and DJ your party, as well as provide all the gear and all the consulting and all that

[17:01] who to hire for your event dart collective is the one dart just like throwing a dart dash collective.com and uh ask for mike his email address is michael at dart dash collective.com tell them we sent you uh so if you have an event coming up this summer dart collective is where you [17:24] you [17:26] All right, Greg. All right, Griffin. What's up? Thank you for joining us. Hey, guys. How are you? I'm good. I'm really good. Really good. I like that. Yeah. Well, I'm up in, uh, I don't know if you can see out here. I'm up in the country and swimming in my pond and playing with my alpacas. Actually, not playing with them, but they're playing with me. And, uh, I got a, you know, got a good life here. A lot of questions. You know, how's the algae level in the pond looking right now? It's, it's, uh, [17:56] Much better than the D.C., but my algae is drinkable. Oh, wow. Okay, for the gut health. Yeah, we have little algae shakes. Is this Connecticut or is this upstate? Keeps me young. Upstate New York. Okay, upstate. How long have you had this spread? About 20, since 99. Oh, you got in when the getting was good. Absolutely. I got a ridiculously good deal here. Now, have you done a lot of expansion or just improvements? [18:26] sort of improvements. How much did you buy it for and how much have you put into it so far? I'm just kidding. I did a movie. It was a payday and it just went right in. Didn't even take a check. Just, you know. And it's worth a lot more since. You said, just buy me a country house, Marty, and we'll call this thing square. Then I'll be in your movies. That's a good trade. So you've said you've only had to make improvement. You haven't had to do anything crazy over the years. It's held up pretty well. Not at all. That's great. Not at all. Like, I just put it in a sauna

[18:56] on the deck, they jump in the pond in the winter, you know. So, Griffith, you're living good. You're living my ideal retirement. You know, you pop in, you do a podcast here. You do a podcast there. Yeah, yeah. [19:08] If you love what you're doing, you never have to retire. What's your sauna program? 20 in, dip, 20 in again, or what are we doing? As soon as you feel the heart sneeze... [19:18] Sure, sure, sure. You have someone carry you out and put you in a sauna. [19:24] Yeah, that's kind of what the help is for. Yeah. Well, that's why I've got hoists and bullies and shit. All the contraptions. Okay. That's smart. You got to have a way to kind of handle it yourself under duress. Absolutely. When you moved in, were the alpacas already there, or did you pick those up along the way? No, no, no. I got them recently. I used to have ostriches. But they're famously mean, correct? They are. Yeah. I mean, I would show you. We have signs of sticks. Get back. [19:54] you they'll got you um they are they are uh but they were never boring never boring so you had you can go on amazon and buy like beware of ostrich signs like i can for my suburban home and my my rottweiler that's trained to kill i have an artist friend who made them they're very creative oh that's nice that's very nice i i recently i was in deep western canada and i i you know we're

[20:24] I got it some ostrich. Yeah. And they were just running as fast as they could in a circle. And it was hypnotizing. I almost had to pull the car over. Like a Limp Bizkit concert. When I see them, I call them late for the opera. Because they're just going so fast. They're always frantically late for an opera. [20:43] Okay, all the ostriches that you don't have anymore, did you eat any of them? [20:48] No. Okay. No, I never did. You just called a guy and took care of him. I got their eggs and I blow out the yolk and they're beautiful. They're all over the place in this house. Okay. How are you here? So do you come here for the summer kind of every year unless there's extenuating circumstances? Yeah. I mean, I got a place in the village and I go back and forth. Yeah, yeah. As much as, as much as a lot. New York right now is probably, I'm in Atlanta. I live in New York, but I'm here and it's touching a hundred today. So you made the right choice. I'm surprised it's not that in Atlanta. [21:18] We're used to that here. This is what we do here every summer. It's our culture, I think. Yeah, well, I guess so. [21:26] Where are you? Where are you, Jason? I'm in Los Angeles. All right. Where it's always perfect. That's why I left. [21:36] What was the last year you lived in Los Angeles? 74. But I mean, I've obviously been back in sports for work and family when they were there. Right, right, right. But I left when I was like 18, 19.

[21:56] can. There's no in-between. You're exactly right. Exactly. I have friends who... [22:02] just transitioned right from, you know, high school, college, then they end up [22:06] working for a studio or an agency or yeah they go right into the family business yeah and uh and just never leave yeah i grew up in orange county like an hour south of here so now i had to get out of there at 18 but i didn't have to go too far orange county yeah the orange county and the west side are you know there's a world of difference what do you what do you mean by that i live on the east side now the orange curtain well what's what's the orange county of new york [22:36] Is that where you're at right now? It's less Trumpy than the other places. But, you know, for example, I don't know if we're recording this up now. But for example, I've gotten behind this... [22:49] This kid who was deported... [22:52] or detained. He's been detained. He's now 23. He had his own business. He went to high school with friends of mine, kids. And I've been [23:00] heading this campaign for his legal campaign that's gone on as i said for a year and the community here has been incredible we have very strong [23:08] Hispanic community and, you know, you'd think it would be really conservative, but the people here have been incredible getting behind this kid. That's interesting. So you're saying you're sort of spearheading the fundraising for the legal and XYZ. Exactly. Me and someone else. And... [23:24] And, you know, I went to Brooklyn for the

[23:27] He's been in seven different detention centers. Jesus. And now he's in Brooklyn. And I went for his most recent hearing... [23:33] And there must have been 30, 40 people drove in from my town. Beautiful. Oh, wow. You know, being the spectators, you know. [23:40] But so far, nobody seems to give a shit on the other side of justice. What is the timeline on this? So they don't give you that kind of information. They don't. They don't. They're just... They won't release him. They won't say why. He has no crime. He has no criminal record. He's not a flight risk. You know, he missed a hearing. They're hanging everything on the fact that he missed a hearing during COVID. I see. So... [24:06] They just look at an infraction and go, you know, keep them. You know, it's just... [24:11] ridiculous. Anyway, that's so so so my place is my area is actually [24:16] Quite wonderful. I've got wonderful neighbors. Because upstate New York, Jason, can get... Upstate New York can feel like Florida very quickly. It's not hard at all to find that. They're taking our jabs. Yeah. No, I'll be bicycling here and, you know, suddenly just... [24:32] get Barnes with just Trump [24:34] huge Trump flags on their roof. I do think Trump and his people, I think they did... I think they [24:41] found a way to make a bigger flag than existed before because i've seen some of this too where i'm like this feels like a double wide i've never seen this sort of flag before it's barn size though it is it's house size i know i think they're looting parachute shops and um this is something this is because like i guess the opposite side on the sort of

[25:02] liberal, you know, LGBTQ space, they're constantly evolving their flag, but all they're doing is adding more stars and bars, colors, shapes. They're adding to the flag contents itself, and Republicans are just... [25:17] enlarging bigger saying make it bigger simply which is you know sums up the two of them absolutely in a special way yeah yeah size matters to them it really is size and only size it really does it really does it really does [25:33] um okay so i noticed that you're wearing a t-shirt right now yes i just mexico's victory from the other night what is your how much did you how much did you put on the game i didn't actually you know i i actually am slow to the world cup thing actually probably because of this kid but also my mexican side of my family i've been really invested in in this and you know my [26:03] these spectacular pictures of [26:05] Her Hispanic neighbors just going crazy the other night. It's pure joy. If you grew up with soccer, it is pure joy. It's crazy. After the way we're treating them and then to have them pull this up, I just wish them the best. I have a theory that everything should just be a shootout and that would make it more fun to watch. Soccer shootout, just to be clear, Chris. Soccer ball. Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean going to the gun cabinet, Griffin. I just meant straight up soccer.

[26:35] to a duel at dawn. But I find it to be, I watched one of the shootouts the other night, and I was like, you know what? This is all I need. This is the max I can handle. It's 15 minutes. It's make or break. People are biting towels, freaking the fuck out. This is good TV. This is good TV. But it doesn't feel as good until you sat through eight hours of scoreless football, and then you get the delivery. You get the payoff. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know. We can't have a slam dunk contest every single weekend. No, that's true. It has to be annual. [27:05] You have to have some of it. You have to have some of it. I didn't know. Are you a sports follower in general? I've got Wimbledon playing downstairs. Sure. You got such a good setup right now. Wimbledon's just on the TV downstairs at all times. Yeah, exactly. Maybe he'll take a nap. Maybe he'll have a beer. Maybe he'll go jump in the pond for a minute. Maybe he'll read a book. That's exactly my life. Biggest thing you got to worry about, what kind of sandwich am I going to make around 1.30? Yeah. What's the lunch program? I got some... [27:34] A leftover steak. [27:36] that I made. [27:37] for someone on the wrong night. I had the wrong night they were coming over. So I made these two steaks. So you're saying you got the calendar fucked up and you just had two steaks and no guests. I made the most amazing meal. And it was really sad. I'm sitting there with the little rosé in the fucking thing. So you made the steak, made the whole dinner, and you're sitting there waiting for somebody to knock on your door? And then she writes, no, not sir.

[28:07] Thursday, not tonight. I got two ribeyes dying on the line. Bitch, where are you? [28:15] So I've been making cold steak sandwiches and sharing it with my dog, Mary. Okay. You've been married, but are you married now? I am not married. Oh, so you're really living the dream. You're just kicking it up there. Okay, so was this a female? Was this a date? [28:37] I mean, that's not out of the question. I don't think it's that crazy. No, no, no. I'm getting the sun up here next month if you want to kind of come back and check it out. Exactly. No, I just got to know how to tell time and read a calendar. Yeah, sure. Well, what is your, if you're, all right, so if you're dipping your toe in the dating pool, what's the age range for you at this point? This is being recorded or not. Are we doing this? Yeah. No, I just, you know, because I think you're a guy that probably interacts with all kinds at this point in your life. [29:07] you [29:08] nothing that would raise eyebrows, but [29:12] Something that would be [29:14] Yeah, they're a good-looking couple. [29:18] Okay, I got it. I understand what you're saying. You're saying you don't want to roll into town and have the baristas talking about you being a creep, but you also don't want to be slumming it. Yeah, exactly. And it's sort of like, oh, isn't that the guy from the Corona commercials, the most interesting man in the world? Sure, of course. So you said age-appropriate, but not too appropriate now. Slow down. Slow down.

[29:44] Yeah, let's not get overboard. How many times have you been married? It's not Leslie Stahl. How many times have you been married? [29:50] Couple. [29:51] Okay. A couple. Did, now, I'm sure some were shorter than others. Do you feel like you, do you feel good about where you left everything? Or is there a lot of regret there? Oh, no. I have friends with them all. [30:03] Really? Yeah, I always leave in a good note. Is that because you're cutting a check or is that because you're a nice guy? No, no, no, no. I just don't look. I cannot carry... [30:13] negativity and toxicity and [30:16] ill will around i don't want to feel that they can feel that toward and someone can feel that toward me but it just causes me you know liver damage sure anguish it reminds me of the the i think there's a motley crew song girl don't go away mad just go away you know what i mean just we're gonna do a clean break but don't be mad at me for anything that's a good way that's it but i [30:46] and then you can have dinner with them and they'll make fun of you for dating that younger woman and you'll make fun of them for this and it's a fun friendship. Yes, exactly. It's all in good form. I think it's... [31:01] But, you know, no regrets on anything. And I got a wonderful daughter, and I'm close with her mother. And I'd say it was a very successful, is a very successful relationship, just not a married one. Have you found that women that you're dating now are more into the fact that you still are friends with your exes? Or do you think they're more into a clean break with a new... No, I think if they're threatened by it, then they're the wrong person.

[31:31] Right. You're right. That's a red flag. Amen. Yeah, exactly. Like you're half her age and you're threatened by it. This is a turnoff for me. It's a red flag. [31:41] Yes, by the way. Actually, you know what? I'm just going to eat both. I'm going to eat both. So when the book came out, I mean, I imagine you, a lot of people in your past knew this book was coming out, obviously, and a lot of that stuff is public. You know, a lot of that stuff is obviously in the public discourse because of who's involved. [32:01] make some calls you weren't looking forward to making. Is that fair to say? Well, um, [32:06] The woman that I lost my virginity to. Yeah. I really, I didn't. [32:10] have any record of her i know no and i and i really wanted you mean beyond beyond your mental capacity you're saying there's no phone number email i mean i don't have phone number email i have no idea where she lived you lost your diary entry of the night everything yeah there just was no record and i really tried so i so i changed her name and the book comes out [32:35] I get a letter. [32:36] I read email. She had my email. And I get an email from her going, um... [32:43] How come you didn't use my name? [32:47] I was about to add that to my Wikipedia page. Yeah. And I wasn't that much older than you. And she was kind of miffed. I didn't mention her. That's cool. I've never heard that version of this story. Usually it's the exact opposite. Usually it's the exact opposite. That means you must have done something right. Yeah, I think so too.

[33:13] you know all the people that are still around charlie and and the girls who who grew up next door that my mother also raised and [33:22] All of us met up. We've all still stayed in each other's lives, but we all met up during the time the book came out, and they were so proud to be part of it. [33:32] You know, my brother was so proud of it. He's certain people's favorite character. And so it was kind of a it brought us all together. [33:42] And all the family, the East Coast Duns, the West Coast, my cousins in Nogales, and [33:48] It was like a... [33:49] a book that brought along a big family reunion. Beautiful. So regardless of living in Manhattan or Nogales, if you're a done, if somebody writes something about you in a book, you're going to pay attention to it. You're going to come on down. It's true. The cockroaches are going to scatter out from under the fridge. I'm just going to hear from you. No one escapes at all. Griffin, how the hell are you, bud? Well, that's exactly, you know, it's funny. There's a... [34:15] thread of [34:17] All my Dunns who are from Hartford on my father's side [34:21] Whenever there's something of a public mention about [34:24] a Don or a... And then the Griffin one on my mother's side. [34:31] The same sort of deal. And if I do something that's sort of in the public... [34:35] They all jump on board to go, hey, why did you do that? And that's the thing. Did you see this? And then they're Googling shit. [34:42] Suddenly, all sorts of embarrassing pictures are flying around. So it's the Hartford dons specifically, is what you're saying? Well, yes, they're the toughest group. Hartford's a tough town. You should host Saturday Night Live again, Griffin. Why don't you host SNL again? That'll be good for your book.

[35:04] Well, you know. [35:06] I have this piece that came out this week in New York Magazine that [35:10] It was about obituaries, my obsession with obituaries, and it had to do with my father. Kind of a funny, ridiculous thing that happened. [35:18] And I said that the Duns of West Hartford, my grandparents had five brothers and sisters, five children. [35:27] And one of the cousins said, no, they had six. What's wrong with you? You forgot a whole fucking person. Oh, my God. I dropped it. You know, here are all the proof copy editors. It goes for all. I was going to say, I'm blaming New York Magazine for this. Not you. It's their fault. Exactly. I couldn't believe you. If you can't depend on your editor, who can you depend on as a freelance creator like yourself, Griffin? I know. [35:51] I think they wrongly thought, well, he knows how many people are in his family. [35:57] If I was a fact checker in your magazine, I would also expect you to know that. I think there's some deniability. We all smell foul play here. I mean, I read that story, and I had never been. I have a friend who's a big obituary guy, and I know that about him, and he's the only one I've ever known. And I think that the process of obituaries and how they're sort of pre, you know, they're prepared once you get to a certain age. I feel like a lot of people don't really realize that. [36:27] No one does. Because you talk about it in, like, you know, you would get calls. Like, they need info. My dad would get calls. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. And it's a cold call, too, on his home line, going, I'm the copy editor from the New York Times. Oh, listen, I'm just doing it in advance on your obituary. Could you tell us, you know, how things are going and any projects coming up? And do you guys know something I don't? When you think about it logically, though, it is. It has to come out immediately.

[36:57] sits. Exactly. It's the hits send. [36:59] And it's been in the works, you know, and I was just fascinated by that idea of... And also, you know... [37:08] If you get the call from the Times... [37:10] It means you're at a certain station in life where you know when you cool, you're going to get an obituary in the Times. So it's sort of a win-win. The cool turn of phrase that appears in that story, I feel like I'm really going to try to add that to my story. [37:27] you know repertoire you would not believe how many people wrote me to say i'm using that word all the time it's great but i'm sure there's other i mean i'm sure there's other things that you're you know that have crept into your life that are like family sayings that when you say to other people they're like what the fuck does that mean my dad used to say to my my daughter when she was about five or six you know she'd say you know uh i i like that painting dad uh poppy i [37:57] you know, you're going to make a lot of money. I go, why are you telling her that? [38:02] But he would always be, you know, so Hannah would go, so Poppy is going to cool? You know when? Just forget that. Do you know when? You don't want to get your daughter... [38:14] Looking forward to your father's death. You do not. That's what I said. You're setting up debt. So you can go on. She's on artsy.net seeing what the auction prices were. And you're like, let's go, dad. He's got two more years. So, Pop, Gramps, Gramps, would you call it near mint? Or how do you want to place this? Okay. Who is going to write your obituary? Have you got the call from a fact checker yet? I have not. Although through my kind of interest in obituaries,

[38:43] I actually... [38:45] met someone and we've had lunch and she's been a pal of mine for a couple of years now named Penelope Green. And she's the one when I started to write the article that I got all the vernacular from and, you know, of what it goes into. And [39:02] Yeah, there's a subtext when we're having lunch. I'm thinking, [39:05] Why hasn't she called me for my advance? This is like, look, I love Via Corona as much as the next guy, but when are you calling me? [39:14] What are we doing here? We're wasting time. What's the point of this lunch if you're not? Well, I worry about the future of obituary and writers with AI because I feel like when anyone dies, you can just say, shit out an obituary in the voice of Penelope Green for this person. [39:35] and it'll get across the line good enough for most folks, you know? Yeah, yeah. I feel like when we're cutting budgets at the New York Times, you know, the obits... I could see that. I could see that. And they're going to deny themselves, you know, each obituary writer... [39:52] Has a... A flare? A tag. Yeah. It's like they've got their thing where you know it's unmistakably them. And it usually comes out, particularly in how they close the obit. They'll find just the right thing that will sum up everything the prior...

[40:14] eight paragraphs have been going toward i suppose an ai could do that but i i'm not quite so sure um they wouldn't have the [40:23] The sensibility. AI doesn't have a sensibility yet. And irony. Maybe mock irony, but you [40:31] I don't think it'll be that convincing. Yeah, I can sniff out the mock irony. I can sniff that out. Yes, I feel like I could, too. In the 60s and 70s, I feel like obituary writing was like a real thing, and people loved it and cared about it and knew about it. I feel like our current generation, we're not checking for the obits. No, no, no. I didn't check for... [40:54] I've always been interested in them since my late teens, early 20s, just because I [41:00] It wasn't a morbid thing. There were little biographies that would stem off into so many other things and do... [41:07] an interest in World War II of a particular battle because the last [41:12] guy to fight in that battle died. [41:15] at that age, and I'll go, oh, there are [41:17] Oh, God, that was a heroin battle. And then they took that many Germans. And, oh, that was the turn of the war. Or a cat burglar, you know, was in her 70s. [41:27] and falls off a roof and dies. I went, wow, where was that in France? Oh, whose house was that? It'll take you down a road you weren't looking to go down. You go down these rabbit holes, exactly. So you'll kill a whole day just reading about some woman who died you've never heard of. Exactly. Whereas nowadays I look on Twitter and it says, this rapper died, thanks TMZ, and then we're done. I think that could be part of it. I think the people who want to read the poetic version versus the people who want the news as fast as possible

[41:57] very separate groups of people. Yes. But, and also, like you were saying, the obituary, it's kind of, it's like a little mini biography about someone. [42:05] But when it's an obituary, they kind of... [42:08] don't shed a strong light on the negative parts of their life because, you know, the body's recently cooled. Whereas, you know, so you get to kind of skip over some of the ugly bits. Well, in some cases, but other ones, and now these are the ones I look for. They'll air your ass out, Jason. They'll air your ass out. I would love an example from Griffin. That they're only remembered by the worst thing they ever did in their lives. [42:34] What is Toyota affordability? It all starts with buying smart, and your Toyota dealer has great deals available to qualified customers on reliable cars and SUVs, including the redesigned RAV4, spacious Grand Highlander, sporty Camrys, and Corollas. It means driving for less, with efficient hybrid and plug-in hybrid options available throughout the lineup, extending your overall driving range and delivering great MPGs, saving you money at [43:04] vehicles and has the best resale value brand according to kelly blue book your toyota can be worth thousands more than average when it's time to trade in that's toyota affordability buy smart drive for less and trade for more shop toyota.com or your local dealer for deals and details vehicles projected resale value is specific to the 2026 model year for more information visit kellybluebookskbb.com toyota brand average resale value is 53 percent versus the average vehicle at

[43:34] Hey babes, it's Paris Hilton. So I was checking my points balance in the Hilton Honors app the other day, and yeah, I've got about a billion, which feels excessive, even for me. Just kidding, you can never have too many Hilton Honors points. And I want to do something iconic this summer, so I'm giving away all my Paris points. Just find somewhere you've always wanted to stay, then go to my socials or Hilton's and tell me about it. Just make sure you're a Hilton Honors member, and I might be sending you Paris points, because when you want points that make your summer [44:04] . [44:05] you [44:06] If you look at Ivan Boski or something, a big arbitrage guy in the 80s, [44:14] It'll be in the headline, you know, ex-convict for or served time. It'll be in the headline. They don't mention his great relationship with his daughter. You know, it's more ex-convict. They won't. It'll be the lead paragraph. They're not going to talk about how good the writing was on season three of the Cosby show. They're going to say he's a famous, prolific raper. Exactly. They're not going to be doing that. And, you know, there's this one note that I really loved. [44:43] called his name was like [44:44] Run wrong way, Henderson. Run wrong way. [44:50] was a football player [44:52] who in Princeton, the Princeton-Yale game, [44:55] ran and scored a touchdown by running the wrong way. Sounds like Princeton to me. That was in like 1934. And here the poor guy died. He's been, you know, a leader in the business community. And there's his headline. The nickname is so good that you kind of got to tell the story. Legendary philanthropic efforts. Millions donated to child cancer research. Yeah, he's got a wing named after him at the hospital, and they still, it's wrong way.

[45:25] I was just reading the JPEG version of the obituary of Refrigerator Perry, the football player who just passed away. And in his, you know, it shows, you know, 1953 to 2026. And it just says the fridge in there. Like, he can't just be William Perry. You just got to be like, oh, you're the guy who's so fat. They need you a refrigerator. Got it. Anyway, rest of the year. Sorry, sorry. Sorry we lost you, big bro. Sorry we lost you. [45:55] Yeah, I mean, I think that that is also to grab the attention. Like all good headlines, you know what I mean? If you put wrong way in the headline, you put fridge in the headline, maybe you'll get some eyeballs you weren't going to get. You're going to get some eyeballs, for sure. Maybe you'll get some eyeballs. So are you still – so what is your – [46:13] Like something like this, there's obviously been interest forever. What stemmed you writing this story for New York magazine? Were you like, I just want to do this or was there a bigger reason? Yeah, there was actually, um, [46:24] A friend of mine, I refer to it, and I don't use his name, but people who know him will know who I'm at. [46:29] He's a very good friend of mine. And, and, [46:32] And his daughter was a very, [46:33] was an artist. [46:35] And, you know, for a father to outlive their kid, there's nothing worse in the world. And I noticed... [46:43] The only slight... [46:45] ray of light was [46:47] When he unexpectedly [46:49] saw the respect the obituary in the new york times gave his daughter she was acknowledged it was his thread to her yeah and and i saw also the you know the importance of it i've always known the funny story about my dad yeah and and the machinations i did to try to get him on the front page when he died on the uh uh ted kennedy and i've always same day as ted kennedy and i've always thought

[47:17] i'm going to use that either fictionally or at some point in my life uh have it be a scene of some kind but when i saw that in my friend [47:26] I just started to think about it, of obituaries in a social context, in a cultural context, and how seeing your name in print means just as much to a family of prominence or in the times as it does to seeing it in a local newspaper. It's still acknowledgement, like no matter what. It's acknowledgement, exactly. No, that makes sense. And that's a good reason to write it. That's like, you know. And then I thought, [47:55] wow, now I'm going to give away this ridiculous scenario I lived through. Well, look, hey, look, that $1,000 can pay for some alpaca feed. Let's not, you know. Exactly, exactly. So I give away my weekend at Bernie's story. [48:12] Like, all right, I hope we got some more gas in the tank still. You know, you'll find some though. I think it does. I think it does. We can still turn that into a screenplay. We can get some miles out of it. Don't worry. It's just the seed we're planting. It's definitely a screwball comedy. [48:25] to ask you about, you know, I think that obviously Hollywood is such a big talking point now for everyone. I think that like in your day, in your sort of participation, I feel like it was a little more of a closed set, not to be funny, but you know what I mean? I think like the ins and outs of the business weren't so widely distributed. You didn't have all these kind of armchair quarterbacks talking about it. What do you, what do you think is actually happening? You know what

[48:55] . [48:55] Anybody's guess? I would just, you know, what AI is going to be doing to all of those? [49:01] As you say, I feel so fortunate to have started at a time where there was a studio-reliant system that when you went, you would see... [49:13] shops with carpenters working and people making uh flats and sets and all the the sausage that goes into getting a film up and seeing seeing how set seeing a beautiful set and all the craftsmen that are involved and i'm really concerned about [49:33] about their jobs about you know if the economy isn't already bad enough yeah you know streaming is taking a huge chunk out of movie theaters i guess though are you are you like a purist who wants it to remain the same are you aware or or you know that it's gonna have to change but how can that be done the best yeah i i guess i'm i'm [49:52] Ah. [49:53] More than just being nostalgic, and of course, I love all that. You know, I have a house guest here, a guy named Happy Mass. He's a very successful production designer. And we were just talking about the studio in Italy in Cinecchatta, you know, with Fellini, he made all of his movies and all that. And he was saying he was there. And, you know, even the plaster shops and all that stuff. [50:18] It's all kind of [50:19] dusty and not as used and they still have the men and wearing the the aprons that you see and um you know they're all craftsmen and each thing but there are fewer people and it's all run down this great old studio is not filling up its its thing so so i'm naturally skeptical not just about ai not just for the for the craft people but how it's going to affect storytelling and uh

[50:49] irony. I wonder how those days are [50:53] If those days are limited, you know, and then [50:56] then we just hit send and all our water supply is being drained for all of this bullshit and and musk just makes more and more and more money and [51:09] Who are we making all this money for? We're making less than somebody else's. Now we're going to have three or four trillionaires. Just what the world needs. And there's no good trillionaires. They're all like the world's shittiest dudes of all time. I know. We're the good trillionaires. That's what I say every day. And I look in the mirror and I think, Chris, this could be you. You could be the first. Where have all the good trillies gone? Yeah, you could be the first. You know, [51:34] I say this about myself every morning. [51:37] If I was a trillionaire, I'd be so good at it. I would be... [51:42] Oh, the way I would distribute my money, I'd be behind the scenes. No one knows me. I'd be the modest trillionaire. Classic. Okay, you're going Walton mode. You're like, we can't Google you. Yeah, yes. And I don't want anyone to know of my generosity. And I will be curing diseases. And I'll leave a little bit for myself. [52:12] but shut up like that. You deserve that. And no one will know it's me. Well, what kind of bad are you going to do though? Like what kind of stuff are you going to sponsor that

[52:22] you know maybe oh i don't know just for fun you know i uh yeah no so many horrible jokes are going to my head i can't don't worry we edit i edit the podcast you know judiciously no i'm not going there uh it would be a joke but i don't i'm worried about people's humor more than no you're all much like irony that's gone away too so you got to be careful exactly [52:43] I mean, you're right. Of course, no one knows. I just think that there's beyond... You're right. The nostalgia part of it is hard to ignore when that was your reality. It's like, how could you not think of it fondly? I think it would be cool if there were the cool trillionaires like you, or even just the billionaires or just the rich people who could fund the production of films... [53:07] without having any political agenda behind it. So like there's the Sam Altman movie. They just got canceled. It was at Amazon. Yes. We don't have this independent studio anymore with enough money. [53:21] to buy a film and make it [53:23] No, no, we don't. And everyone has the same agenda, and they're all kissing the ring. So every piece of art is funded by the worst guy. That is... [53:31] Even more worrisome. I like to kiss the ring sometimes, but not all the time. It depends which finger. Yeah, I know. I don't even know what that means. Yesterday, yesterday, there was a thing on Twitter of Kevin Spacey. He's selling a ring. Jason, what does it say? It says F.U., but what does it stand for? Well, I think the F.U. stands, I worry that it stands for Frank Underwood. Oh, yes, of course. His most famous character. My favorite.

[54:01] you, but it was like a different [54:06] It was like Latin around it. It was like, you know, out of the born from the fires. Yeah, it was like a dramatic. It was a dramatic. How much is it? Basically like. Collegiate style. Great question. I feel like it's. What's the Bible verse about being canceled for rape? Oh, yeah. Let's throw that one on the ring. I think he got. Yeah, it looks like a community college graduation. Yeah. I would say is the style, the design style. Mad Magazine, back page kind of thing. [54:36] a unit, so I don't know if it's going to get him out of poverty, but we'll see what happens. Well, you know, [54:40] He got the idea from the merchandise, the merch that our president sells. Yeah. No, the Trump gold coins, like, I'm not going to say I don't have a few in the safe. You never know. I mean, you never know. I know. I know. The shoes are very comfortable. It's an investment. Yeah, the shoes are comfortable. They look bad, but they're so comfortable. Griffin, I know the weather's a little different there upstate than in the city, but Mayor Mamdani, he said everyone to keep the AC at 78. [55:10] at Dune HQ. I think I might have to go in the other room and... I mean, I don't want you to get up. Make an adjustment. You can do it from your app now. Yeah, I got it blaring. You're touching 72. No, I like our mayor. If that's what he says, I'll follow it. Okay. You'll do whatever, as long as it's not too hot in the house. Yeah. Also in the book, is it true that the first time you met Joan Didion, one of your testicles was hanging out of your pants? Apparently so. And by the way... If I wrote it, it's true.

[55:40] Put it out there like that. It's giving the impression. I guess I should say bathing suit. That a 37-year-old man's testicle [55:48] was with hair on it was meeting Joan Didion for the first time I was five years old Jason you did leave that out I will say Jason you did you buried the nut was still out though nuts out to be clear it was a grape at that age I just love that just love it hey just say hairless grape but you know [56:13] And it was a seam that was opened in a bathing suit that I was wearing. [56:19] And I mention it [56:21] In the book, I read about it in the book because... [56:24] It's sort of her reaction sort of was in line with the kind of writer that she became known for. [56:31] which was everyone, all the grown-ups, when they saw the little ball, they roared with laughter. I'm five years old. I'm shamefaced. I'm scarlet. She... [56:42] Inner sunglasses never left eye contact with me. Just look. Didn't. [56:47] And she didn't see, you know, a little boy embarrassed. She saw the way she always sees cultural events, politics from a different lens that she became famous for writing for. And so she was like going, I'm not with them. [57:05] I got you. I got you. I don't think your nuts are funny at all. I think it's cool, and I'm going to steal this and write about it later. Yes, absolutely. For now, we're good.

[57:19] I watched part of the documentary last night because I watched it when it came out, but I watched some of it last night before bed. And it's just it's pretty astounding sort of what she has become culturally, especially to women, especially to women. It's kind of unbelievable. Yeah. And not not for it. Not not. I just I just feel like writing doesn't break through that way anymore. If that if that makes sense. I totally agree. I don't know who. [57:43] has had that impression and it's radikowski is about it it's embedded it's going to go on from generation to generation to generation i i did this um i was talking to someone at new york magazine for the the newsletter they do about books about like authors doing things like in the fashion world to kind of promote their book and the the joan diddy and celine thing is sort of [58:13] sense to a lot of people to do that kind of thing. And my argument was like, if you're trying to sell a book, you got to do whatever you can do. So if that's walking an Eckhouse Lotta runway or posing for J. Crew, I think you got to do it. I don't think it takes away from it. I think she that example is really the one that gets used by everyone as their sort of shield. Yes. Yeah. But it's also that she did do that at such an enormous level. [58:39] cultural impact. It was like she was given a pass because it was like a well-deserved [58:47] icon getting recognition. And when that came out,

[58:51] I heard it was going to happen. And by the way, I was surprised she did it. But, you know, she'd also done a Gap commercial with Quintana years before that that was on buses. [59:01] bus stops everywhere you looked so it wasn't like that unusual but that to be clear that was the heyday of the gap ads being pretty awesome unbelievable exactly every everybody wanted to do that and then [59:13] But I... [59:14] I went to the Amazon by myself. I took this trip. [59:18] kind of a site. I travel often by myself and go to areas where I probably can't get anybody to go with me. And [59:26] I had a guide and we... [59:27] When... [59:28] Into the jungle, up this little tributary off the Amazon... [59:32] and we were in country for a couple of weeks. [59:36] And then we're coming back. And the Amazon is actually like the Long Island Expressway. It's it's it's just a huge brew fair. It's nothing at all like what you would imagine. It's what's [59:48] Offs. [59:49] to the sides of the Amazon. Sure. And there's obviously no radio reception or anything like that when you're in there. We're coming out, [59:56] The guy had it on his transistor radio. [59:59] Not a sound came out of it for two weeks. We'd come out, we're onto the $4.95 Amazon. And all of a sudden, it bursts to life. [1:00:07] And I'm hearing... [1:00:08] In Spanish, The first human correspondence in Weed. That's wild. And I went, I'm back. I'm back in America. Here we go. That's really funny. I mean, that's the impact. That's the impact. I mean, that's the impact. Viva Sevilla. Well, also in the book, I noticed you mentioned your mother and Joan.

[1:00:35] Both stayed at one time at a ladies-only hotel in New York. And that was what, in the 60s, 70s? No, that would be the 50s. Okay. So, obviously, a ladies-only hotel in 2026 sounds a little odd and interesting, but... [1:00:56] we're currently in a real kind of sexual divide. And do you see maybe in the next five years... [1:01:03] a women's only hotel opening up somewhere in America or New York. You know, [1:01:08] If I was a... [1:01:11] a woman entrepreneur. [1:01:13] I would definitely get that idea going. [1:01:16] Well, you could do it as a man, by the way. Imagine how much tail you'd get if you opened up the woman's only hotel. Going back to my trillion dollars. Going back to my trillion dollars. I would do that. [1:01:27] And I put a plaque out in front with a fake name as being the founder of this thing. But, you know, the Barbizon, [1:01:36] It's an idea worth revisiting because so many people, [1:01:41] uh, women came out of there and became professionals in, in various different fields. It was, it was, it was Audrey Gelman before Audrey Gelman. It was, you know, it was the wing. And that's probably, uh, [1:01:52] probably what inspired Andre Gelbman to do that, but also to have a... [1:01:58] You know, a hotel... [1:02:00] where they could stay and not be, you know, [1:02:02] harassed by the manosphere asshole men. Excluding the three guys on this call, but yeah, I see it. Oh, I mean, besides, we do it with charm. Exactly. Couldn't have said it better myself, Griffin.

[1:02:17] But you know, where they can just go and leave the fucking assholes outside the revolving doors to, you know, just go in and, you know, sit at their bar and I would put a bar, by the way, in the lobby. I think women deserve to drink as well. [1:02:32] get shit-faced and have a good time and not be hit on every 10 fucking seconds. Yeah. They can finally unclench their asshole not having to worry about who's going to peek around the corner every five minutes. Absolutely. I see that happening all the time. And if they're looking for any bartenders, I got nights open right now. Kind of Thursdays are good. [1:02:53] I've got the Monday, Wednesday, Friday shit. [1:02:57] You can take Thursdays. At the woman-only hotel... [1:03:01] Do they have only women's staff? They have to. Otherwise, it pops the bubble. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to say no gay guys. I'm going to say no gay guys even. Oh, wow. Yeah. I just worry. I mean, obviously, women can do everything. But, you know, I worry if there's, like, a dangerous situation. Like, if a couple, some bad boys sneak in somehow, you know, we need some muscle to get them out. Oh, by the way, no, there'd be some male security. Okay. Well, they're outside. I'll sleep soundly at night. Before. Yeah. [1:03:31] Well, I also, I need to talk to you about drugs just a little bit. Cause there's the story in the book where you're, you're like, you know, you're, you get the call from your dad about your sister and you're, you know, you've been doing coke all night and you're, you're, you know, you're coming down. What, what was the, what was your relationship with drug use? Just like normal? Yeah, I think, I think it's, it's kind of like a.

[1:03:52] I don't know what the scene is now, but looking back, I find it amazing how... [1:03:57] prevalent. Coke was. [1:03:59] everywhere on sets bars restaurants and just so completely flagrant you know now i would imagine people are much more discreet if there is like a coke scene they're more they're more discreet i don't hear about anyone being addicted to coke um i'm sure it must be happening yeah and also i [1:04:23] You know, you would just see people [1:04:26] tweaked out of their fucking minds and many people going into rehab and then you would just see how it would taper off going what the fuck is this all about this is this sucks you know my nose is bleeding i just babbled on about nothing for three hours boring the shit out of anyone everyone and i couldn't get it up when i got home why am i still taking this stuff smoke 38 cigarettes and [1:04:56] Dreamfall idea was actually bad upon further reflection. Okay, well, we've done a lot of cocaine ourselves, but we have not done a Quaalude. And I feel like you might be in a little bit of that sweet spot pocket where you were of age where it was still cooking. And that was just a fuzzy face thing. That was like a fuzzy face. [1:05:16] And it was considered like a... [1:05:19] I guess a sex drug or something, but... [1:05:21] I was just like a gummy.

[1:05:25] That's when you know it's working. I like that the subcategory of drugs being known as fuzzy face ingestibles is something I never considered. But there are some drugs where it's just like... I'm sure there will be a gummy for that. I still want to be able to drive a car. I just want a little bit of a... Yeah. [1:05:43] I had a friend [1:05:44] Who? [1:05:45] had his very first and probably only three way. And they all took play loads. And [1:05:54] He was like lying back. He was knocked out. Two girls are like down there. [1:06:00] touching his business while he's got no pants on. And they're holding up his limp dick. And he says to the other girl, you want to get in on this? [1:06:15] the guy on the quail and goes oh oh wow griffin i'm i'm proud that you told us that story and left your name out of it because i you're i feel bad about your friend i feel bad see how i said this isn't one of those i have a friend um this really was i am a friend that's that's i mean i [1:06:36] It always said, Kel, the girl holding up, you want to get it? The expression, I could just see it on his face. [1:06:46] It is ironic that, unfortunately, drugs are the number one cause of... [1:06:52] threesomes and also the number one cause of threesomes not happening. Not happening as well. It's the beginning and the end of almost every threesome. It gets you there. It gets you there. And then it does nothing for you once you're there. It's just one of those. It gets you over the line. Last question. Is it true that you hosted SNL in 1986 under duress?

[1:07:11] No. Why an address? [1:07:13] What do you mean? I was listening to a podcast that dissects every single episode of SNL, and they said that your episode in 86 was the one right before... [1:07:24] the episode that they thought everyone was going to be the last episode of SNL. Uh-huh. And they said that it looked like you may have, like... [1:07:34] been thrown in last minute or like somebody canceled or like no no no no no i was always booked um okay but um [1:07:43] No, the episode that I did is more known for... [1:07:47] The one that Damon Wayans was fired from. Oh. We were doing a sketch where it was like a Scarface kind of Pacino Coke dealer. [1:07:59] And when we did rehearsals, he was a detective and he did it, you know, straight tough guy detective. [1:08:07] And then inexplicably, when we were live, [1:08:09] He put a switch to it and did a whole limp-wristed sort of thing, which wasn't planned. And he got fired as soon as he got in the wings. That's so funny. I just happened to have worked with his son. And so we had a funny moment where Damon Wayans said, you know, [1:08:26] uh passed on he goes you fired my father i went i didn't fire him lauren did you know you're getting your old white guys mixed up and i wonder if that was lauren lauren firing him because of you know doing a gay voice or like the network forcing him to fire him what do you think i you know i don't know i don't know it's been documented but i think more more than the bigger sin was our attitude towards gay stuff in 86 was different than now as well as all yeah yeah i

[1:08:56] had nothing to do with it I think I think more that the the bigger sin was to go off the range mm-hmm yeah yeah and you know it's it's it's not an improv show nothing about it is improv this is rehearsed for a whole week we stay up all night let's do this right people wrote this all night long so I think that was that was the issue and luckily Damon Wayans he knew that his gay voice was so good that he was able to spread his wings and fly and he ended up having a great career doing [1:09:25] A gay voice for many years. That's actually great. He had to test it out. It was inside of him. [1:09:33] All right, Griffin. Thank you for joining us. This was a pleasure. We might have to do this every year. If you're up for it. Go right ahead. Let's do that. I think we might have to do it. We've got to do it every year. I know you're twiddling your thumbs up there. You need some entertainment. Every year we'll do Dunnstock. Absolutely. Pilgrimage upstate. And by then the obit writer will have called me. [1:09:50] so I'll have more information for you. We'll have an update on that. All right. Perfect. Thank you for joining us. The book is everywhere. And hopefully we see you soon. We appreciate it. Me too. See you guys. Thanks. Thanks, buddy.