968. - Derek Blasberg

[00:18] - How long gone? Just checking it out. Chris Black, I'm still in London. The weather is peaking. I'm back in the city at the Rosewood, which I found out Jason is the former US Embassy. [00:29] So I'm kind of surprised. You're joking. They didn't welcome me with a 21-gun salute or anything. I was a little... I was like, hello? Chris here. Yeah, I was... When we were podcasting just 24 hours ago and talking about the embassy for sports teams and athletes from rival cities and countries. So I'm sure there's going to be a bunch of old hotels that go out of business that turn into, you know... [00:59] FC Barcelona strongholds with armed guards protecting all these guys wearing. Oh, you can get a cappuccino just right past the two guys with machine guns to the right. Only guys wearing Kid Super one of one pieces are allowed through these iron gates. Don't let me catch. If I catch any of y'all motherfuckers wearing the Larry David Kid Super collab. LD is taking L after L this month. [01:29] about as I was going to give it a fighting chance. [01:32] um you know my apologies to kazzy and the david family but yeah this one it's a tough one well i think the kid super thing he definitely wasn't aware of that was the hbo licensing department so i'm gonna let him he's skating on that charge uh the show i think luckily his um

[01:48] his legacy is kind of cemented because when you do at this point i think there's nothing to fuck up seinfeld jerry's fucked up seinfeld but to fuck up curbing enthusiasm and seinfeld larry could never but i understand when you're that age and you have the creative impulse and somebody says yeah how much money you want you're just gonna do it you know and unfortunately no one stopped him but he'll he'll recover he'll he'll recover he has a great rest of his career ahead of him [02:18] I was watching it I was like who exactly is this show for there is a cross-section of dudes who are like into political commentary as well as you know American history and there you know there is a large subset of young people out there you know like Shane Gillis and all these people are really obsessed with like history and American history and dudes that are kind of like [02:42] smart but not educated are really they really gravitate towards history for yeah whatever reason grounds them that's a really interesting observation because i know exactly what you're talking about and for someone like me who could care less about history i'm sort of stunned but i guess that's also like sort of a version of like all fellas like i don't know it could open a conversation yeah you know what i mean like if shane gillis if shane gillis met my dad [03:12] Right, right, right. [03:13] But you already have sports. We can already talk about the Panthers versus the Steelers or whatever. We don't have to go bar for bar over Gettysburg and like, oh, actually the third general was taken down and when, you know, the tent was on fire and, you know, it was raining that day at Chattahoochee or whatever.

[03:31] I never really understood. I would go into history class and I would learn some history and I would be like, "This interests me zero." And I know that we could learn from the past, informs the future, but maybe not necessarily all of the past. There's a market for it. How long gone? [03:50] we create content for like rich people who are kind of dumb and you know larry david sort of [03:58] It was like he created content for rich people who were like, didn't take life so seriously. Like, yes, we have like $30 million and live in Bel Air, but like, you know, we don't really, we're not like super serious. We can laugh about like the ins and outs of the local Jewish delicatessen together. Precisely. And that did bring people together. Yeah. But the fascination with history, I feel like it is, it's like the most, it's the easiest thing to study. I feel like it's, there's so much available information and it, I, being interested in it, [04:28] is shocking to me but doing that in your free time as a pleasure a hobby that also makes you sound quote-unquote smart is an interesting phenomenon but it does gillis like the all the all of the comedian guys like if you listen to any of those podcasts they do get into this stuff where i'm like i don't know what you're talking about like i have no idea like i don't remember social studies dude belgium got fucking smoked dude like france was so beast on in 1498 i'm glad [04:58] are able to latch on to something and make it their own and enjoy it the same way people latch on to restoring old cars or doing any old stuff. Victimless crime. I mean, it is a victimless crime. I want my Larry David to be focusing on the minutiae of life in Beverly Hills, not like what's going down with John Adams.

[05:22] Jason said the only Sam Adams I know is a 12-pack. You know what I'm saying, big guy? Yeah. That part. [05:28] No, I understand. There's been some more. I swore that we would not talk about the Taylor Swift smooth brain gathering at MSG. I don't think you did swear. I'm more than happy to milk this cow. These udders are long. But now they're saying Qualley and Antonoff broke up. She wasn't there. She's taking his pictures off the grid. She's in a pool with Drew Starkey somewhere shooting. I don't know what to believe, Jason. [05:58] saying based on a few other, you know, recent happenings is that it's, it all comes back to Lena Dunham supremacy and that. [06:07] that Dunham runs the world with an iron fist on high. And I, it's tough to argue with the, with the facts that we have right now that it's not true. Yeah. She, [06:17] influences powerful people. She is, you know, she's kind of like we were saying before the, uh, what's his name is the modern day Truman Capote. She's sort of like, you know, she's serving female Capote vibes. Like she, she's able to get into the top of the top, the A-list and just put little things in their ear, you know, spread things around, you know, she's just toxic enough. Like she has a good soul and a good heart, but she's just messy enough to like [06:43] break them up just for fun you know i just love the controversial joke from the wedding that they won't stop talking about is her saying you got like a gay joke about football like it's the most it's like like she is so smart and cerebral and did that low-hanging fruit joke because she knew her audience and it actually made them mad which makes them look even stupider you know what i mean it's like it did it really did exactly what it was supposed to do it is a very low-hanging

[07:13] about on the big day don't talk about the the glaring examples of homoeroticism in our sport you're saying that us having a position called tight end is gay i don't fucking i'm not gonna stand for this i think what the what the problem is is all these football players are cucked they can't take a joke or an insult and they see somebody like lena dunham say something like that and [07:34] They want to clap back, but they feel like they can't. So that's why they just kind of huff and puff and get upset. Or, you know, a real, you know, Mike Vick, you know, someone out there. Vick would be dying. Vick would be slapping his leg. He'd be loving it. Or he would be like, you fat fucking bitch. I would come up and say it to my face right now. You know, like whatever it is, like you're going to participate in it. You're not going to let, you know, Lena Dunham. [07:57] take you down emotionally. You're going to tit for tat, play ball. I hate to say it, Jason, but I bet the black players in attendance were laughing. This feels like classic. You guys are good as hell. Not me, though. I'm a wide receiver. I'm running away from you guys. I think there's something to be said there. I'm running away from all these fat guys who keep trying to hug me. [08:20] Yeah, I like the sport, but these fat guys, they keep trying to hug me.

[08:27] like oh you know cancel culture we can't say anything we didn't talk about you know we didn't talk about that louis ck do that the opening joke of that louis ck netflix special is one of the worst things i have ever heard like actually like i was like oh this guy everybody says he's a genius all my dark woke friends love him oh my god when it got to that i was like oh it's got to go somewhere when he finished that joke i was like this is the most washed shit i have ever it was embarrassing [08:57] musician or comedian or whatever, let you know, like... [09:00] the van morrison you were talking about how much you love him but if you listen to a modern van morrison song it's just you know it's the equivalent of that louis ck special people don't know when to hang it up but i feel like comedians should last longer i feel like yeah you know you're you're always like larry david is able to go through every day and like this guy tried to put his dog shit in my trash can or what you know all those little things you can milk it well into your life but [09:25] Louis is like in his 50s and he's already done. No, done. That's kind of sad. But I think part of him is like... [09:33] very like self-destructive like i'm going to see you know whatever i can do like it's almost so bad that it's performance art and he's just like toying with them of like i'm gonna i'm gonna you're giving i think you're giving him too much credit i think he's gonna take 18 million from netflix and just do this weird poopoo peepee it was like when kanye west was doing that poopoo song i just was it's just like y'all motherfuckers are gonna stream this i'm gonna get 300 million

[10:03] he probably is just washed and bad and if that is the case louie you know you're just lazy i couldn't believe it i couldn't believe it because p it's also like it came and went so you know people were mad that he was given a chance and then they couldn't even be mad because it was so bad they just were sort of like all right fuck it really did used to be the best though when he was peaking can't tell him nothing it was just like damn he is just the number one luckily i remember maybe we had um rose colored glasses on ginger colored glasses our memories are too short [10:33] was abysmal i mean i i really couldn't believe it i really couldn't believe it because i went into it with an open mind i was never like the biggest fan i'm not like this guy is a genius i can't wait but like i was like i'm gonna watch this because people are so mad about it and it just yeah i was stunned i really i really was i was taken aback yeah because he used to be the guy who was not afraid to say you know that thing that you have in the back of your mind and he'll he'll find that truth bomb that honest moment that we all deal with and that is you know that's like sort of the [11:03] level comedy. And he skipped all of that and went straight to just like, [11:08] my mom's dead and fat dude he said he said i literally i got aids from a rat that's the dumb that's literally that's insane that's like that is so i couldn't believe it like it kept me up like i was trying to fall asleep and that it was so bad and so stupid that i was like i couldn't it was i was it was doing backflips in my brain i was like this is crazy that this guy got paid this much money for this and and they were just like i you know fuck it put it up we got numbers to hit

[11:38] tickets. We got numbers to hit. Netflix is like, put it up. These situations all the time of don't forget, 78... [11:46] high-ranking executives all had to sign off on this and every single person was like let's run it let's run it baby print it i think it was i think it was more of a let let's let yeah let's run it we have so we have to put this out fuck all right um let's do tuesday 4 a.m um we'll be on the home screen until wednesday yeah i think i think he's either i think it's [12:16] like [12:17] one of the last things he does before, you know, nine millimeter in the mouth, not to be cracked. I don't know who could support him after this. All right, we have a guest today, a long overdue, a legend in his own right, Derek Blasberg. You know him if you've done anything in the last, you know, 20 years. He's done it all. He had a big party last night at Karl Lagerfeld's library for his new book he did, which I can't wait to see. He's an editor-at-large of Vanity Fair. [12:47] to talk to him. Let's get this little queen on the horn and chop it up. [12:51] Oh, baby, it is summer, Jason. We're peaking right now. It's July 4th weekend. It's hot as hell outside, but things do feel easier. The days are a little more relaxed, and I'm sure you can agree, Jason. I find myself reaching for the same comfortable go-anywhere staples again and again, and that's why...

[13:09] we keep returning to the altar of quince. They focus on well-made essentials that naturally become those everyday staples that you live in all season long, no matter what the season is. Yeah, Chris, I'm tangled up in linen over here. And this linen, it's European and we're breathable. You know, you don't want to... Sometimes you don't want to wear shorts. Maybe it's a little bit more of a formal lunch or whatever it is. You got the beach club and you want to go to dinner, but you don't want to be wearing some heavy jeans or pants or... [13:37] Some beautiful linen is right there for you. Rotate it into your summer look. And those are starting at just $34. Get some nice, lightweight, soft tees to live in. You know, throw a little sweater on over the shoulders at night when it gets nippy. Everything at Quince is priced 50% to 80% less than similar brands because they work directly with ethical factories, cutting out the middleman. So you are only paying for exceptional quality. Not brand BS. [14:07] So... [14:08] Make your summer wardrobe easier. Go to quince.com slash howlongforfreeshipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada. That is quince.com slash howlongforfreeshipping and 365-day returns. [14:26] Quince.com/howlong. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to us by our friends at Dart Collective. I think we can all agree that wedding music is typically quite lame, cheesy, and it doesn't represent the bride and groom's personal music taste. Luckily, Dart works with actual musicians and artists, many of whom have their own productive careers or tour in bands you've heard of. Everyone from Leon Bridges to Taylor Swift. Dart DJs use vinyl.

[14:54] and are cool in a way that your peers would be, not a dated Carnival Cruise performer. They even have an in-house stylist to make sure all personnel look perfect on the day. Dart travels all over the world for events from Morocco to Italy, Greece, and the Maldives. Dart has done huge celebrity events and also intimate ones. Yeah, Chris, I am personally friends with Michael from Dart, and I have worked with them for years. I think the last time I did a big one, [15:24] uh, [15:25] wedding they set up a beautiful booth for the you know for the ceremony just some cocktail music some vinyl some cool vibes and then they set up a whole big tent with a crazy bumping sound system for me to play in later these guys are great a lot of people always ask me like hey you know do cool wedding djs exist do cool event people exist the cool part about dart is they'll work with people like me to come and dj your party as well as provide all the gear and all the consulting [15:55] who to hire for your event dart collective is the one dart just like throwing a dart dash collective.com and uh ask for mike his email address is michael at dart dash collective.com tell them we sent you uh so if you have an event coming up this summer dart collective is where you [16:18] you [16:20] Do I? I don't hear it in the microphone. Am I still crisp? Oh, well, cameras on from both of you right now. Look at these two stars. Okay, so you can't hear us or you can't hear yourself. But they're not working. Well, hold on. Stay there. Don't move.

[16:32] Okay, I can tell you how to fix it. Can you hear me? Output volume. Okay. Okay, guys. Look at this. What can't you do? What can't you do? This is tech support. We do it all. Okay. I have to tell somebody how to do that every three times a week. Oh, so you're saying I'm basic. I'm saying it's such a common issue. It happens to everyone. It's like when you get your HPV result, and they're like, honestly, one in three have it. It's not even a big deal. Amen. Amen. [17:02] habit right that's my next zoom with my uh my gp you're got your gynecologist my gynecologist my ob-gyn derek you're coming to us from paris you're in the belly of the couture is this on is this happening yeah it's happening yes queen there's no like kind of like pre-roll no we do that before you get here we're right we come in ready to go no i know you i know that you do an intro but we don't have right now a sort of foreplay no no no no we stick it in there's no before no no no okay [17:32] Wow. Derek, we showed up hard and you showed up wet and we just kind of do it. Are you going to keep all that nonsense about me not knowing how to use Zoom in? No, you'll cut that out. No, the butt stuff, probably, yes, we will keep. Wow. I know exactly what to trim. Don't worry. I would love to know, you're in the belly of the beast Paris couture and you are in a, looks to be a suite and I'm sure it's at a hotel. The chaparelli suite? What do you got there?

[18:02] kind of who's paying chris you promised me there would be no visual what if i what if i was topless right now there's no there's i'm painting a picture there's no visual it's merely you're going to use your words to pay oh i get it exactly okay this is this is the video feed is internal only nobody out there listening will ever see how great you look right now and we're matching as well nice little subtle polo no biggie what does it say new york strong new york does that say new york does that say new york strong or new york tough [18:31] New York tough. Maybe they charged by the word, the letter. No, it says New York tough. It says, sorry. The T's are cheaper. You're in bed. It's kind of a... Yes, here. Sorry. A pistachio headboard and a Lacoste polo with custom embroidery. How's the weather? How's the vibe on the ground? I gotta tell you, there's nothing more boring than talking about the weather. Not true. We do it all the time here. So you are good. But all I want to talk about in Paris is how hot it is. Is it still that hot? It is [19:01] today was the Balenciaga Couture Show, all outdoors, no tent, full sun. [19:07] And to spend all that money [19:10] to look like you just got out of a basketball game. I mean, I'm drenched. I look rough. Now, you know, you're known for being a snappy dresser, of course. How do you, what do you do? You know, how do you do this? Because, you know, I showed up, I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt. I don't give a shit. At a certain point, there's nothing I can do. What is your approach when the sun is mad at you? Well, Chris, on Derek's level, when you go to one of these shows, they give you the clothes to wear. You don't just get to show up with a t-shirt and your little 501.

[19:40] And that's where you're wrong, Jason. At Couture, they ain't giving anybody anything. Well, not Derek. Jason, that's factually inaccurate. I actually often don't like to wear the provided clothes because then you have no autonomy. You have to wear it. If you say yes, you'll wear it, and a garment bag shows up, you've got to commit. And especially as Chris is pointing out in this heat, it's short-sleeved, baby. Yeah. Sounds how it guns out. Okay, so Balenciaga did not send you any cloaks [20:10] outerwear or the women's couture show no there was nothing that worked for me jason bury the lead i didn't know it was women only i don't know what i don't when i look at that kind of stuff man i'm always like i know the attitude's supposed to be like this is art you know and i i respect that but sometimes i'm like these guys are playing with us a little too much i'm gonna blow i'm gonna blow both of your minds [20:34] Couture, they don't give a shit about you. Oh, I know. Couture doesn't think about you at all, bitch. No, ma'am. There's an oil heiress in Dallas that they got their eye on, and it ain't me or Jason. Derek, is there any... Dallas? No, no. Saudi Arabia. We're talking Middle East. That's the Dallas of the Middle East. That's the Dallas of the Middle East. Dallas of the Middle East. That's true. Don't sleep on China. Okay, is there any Couture? Obviously, some Couture is good, some is not good, some is experimental, whatever. [21:04] say like is any couture good but if you were to prescribe [21:07] a collection for somebody like Chris or I, just a couple of regular American guys to sink our teeth into. You know what I mean? Because we don't really, we don't have the mindset of a couture enjoyer. If I was trying to explain or justify the existence of couture to two Neanderthals like you and Chris, what I would say is that couture is fashion's laboratory. Yes. Here, this week in Paris, is where the brightest and best minds are trying to incubate

[21:36] their biggest and best ideas for what fashion means and looks like today. And of course, you know, that scene from the Devil Wears Prada about the cerulean belts or whatever. This is really where it all happens. So these are the ideas that start at the top of the mountain before they slowly meticulate. Yes. Jason, this is what happens before it becomes a quarter zip sweatshirt with a logo on it for $3,500. [22:06] for $2.99 at my local mall. And it all starts... [22:11] at couture. It's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when in fact... [22:19] You're wearing a sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room. [22:23] From a pile of stuff. Percentage-wise, how much couture is good and bad? Well, now you're asking if ideas are good or bad, right? Most are bad. So the difference, I think, between couture and ready-to-wear... [22:36] Now stop me when these terms become too insidery for you two. When prêt-à-porter, for example, is that couture, you really only need to find one person to buy it. Yeah. So it doesn't really matter. The sucker born every day. Amen. I feel like people collect it, which I do understand that impulse. And it's like, how many times are you going to wear it? That's not really the point. The point is to have this in my climate-controlled wing of my house. Which from that standpoint, I understand it. I do that. Wait, wait.

[23:06] who don't have climate-controlled closets? I'm so confused. Well, I'm only speaking for myself. I know you probably have one. I think I'm going to be sick. Hold on. Yeah, I don't know if you have a full-time staff member that organizes that or if you kind of do it in your free time. Now that you have kids and stuff, it's probably harder. Do you not have a fridge in your bathroom for your creams? I don't. Whoa. Do you? Oh, my God. Do you really have? Do you have a... Two cavemen. Oh, my God. Do you have a fridge in your bathroom for creams? Be honest. I don't, but that's the life I aspire to have. [23:36] your head, who's the first person you know who has a small fridge in their bathroom for their creams? I, you know, I write a lot for Architectural Digest, and there's a couple of interior design cues that I think signify... [23:50] that life. And one of them is [23:53] a small fridge and you're, [23:54] bathroom for your expensive creams. Take notes. Why aren't you two writing this down? Don't worry, the AI is jotting it down for us. Oh, great. Fantastic. That makes me feel great. Okay, well, we all have some business acumen going through our brains. Have we thought about designing the millennial... [24:13] cream fridge for the bathroom something that can slip into one of the drawers like a low boy fridge pull out you know in a an industrial setting is anyone working on the small fridge space for your salmon sperm the target option for your cream fridge has not come up here in paris during couture week jason no no jason i didn't say target i don't i'm not talking i'm it's okay if it costs eighteen hundred dollars it just has to be something that's sleek and cute

[24:43] Jason, this is something you should take to Sub-Zero. I think you should just go to one of the heavy hitters in the space, shrink it, not Smeg, the enemy. Why not Smeg? Why not a little pink Smeg? No, I know you've got your Dolce & Gabbana Smeg toaster at the house, but we're not playing with it. Look, with AI technology, I could do it all myself. I mean, all joking aside, I was like, we should start making these millennial, you know, pistachio, avocado-colored syringe dispensers, [25:13] I'm not sure if you're in a car, but you're in a car. [25:31] what I think kids do now is much different than what we, although I'm probably a couple of years older than you two, what we were doing 17 years ago, because now kids are obsessed with their creams and their beauty routines and their, their facials and those masks. That's all they have. If I talk to anybody with like teenage daughters, I'm like, Oh, what are they into? And they're like Sephora. Like they don't even, it's just like, whatever, like drunk, drunk. It used to be into dick. Now it's fucking Sephora, but it is. I think you're right. [26:01] that is kind of shocking. So now instead of selling back-to-school backpacks, we should be selling miniature beauty fridges. I think we're... Is there some sort of copyright law that I could enforce on the back of this podcast since I literally now...

[26:15] It's on footage, whatever this thing. What is this, a podcast? In my house. It's all right here. It exists. Is this thing on? What is this? Where I'm from, the second fridge in the house was in the garage. That's where you keep the deer meat. So this is a lot for me. This is kind of a lot for me to unpack mentally. I'm from Missouri. Don't act like I don't know what jerky is. I know that you're from the real America, but you're so far removed now. Do you remember it? [26:45] crawling on my hands and knees out of my childhood years in America's Midwest. The sweet smell. [26:53] of deer jerky never really leaves yeah no sure you you so you made it to 25 in the swamps of missouri wow no well no 26 years of me crawling out 26 not 25 i keep on forgetting how old i have been gone just it just seems like you're the type of cat who's who's leaving you know 15 to 19 you know getting out of there fast and then going to wherever did you go to nyu jason i'm gonna blow your mind and yes chris i went to nyu we literally talked about this but back to you jason i'm just [27:23] I'm just making sure. I'm making sure. I didn't want to be like, oh, no, I went to Columbia and I look like an asshole. That was an authentic shock. Like that was not like you're trying to set me up for a little biography reveal. No, you really forgot that we've talked about this. Back to you, Jason. Perfect attendance K through 12. Oh, wow. OK. Perfect attendance was on the local news. [27:43] You guys are not more impressed that I didn't miss a day of school, kindergarten through 12th grade? No sick days. No nothing. Before I dropped out of high school, I'd never missed a day either of school. Oh, wow. Really? No, no. You went every day and then you dropped out? Yeah, well, it's either I'm an all or nothing type of guy. You know what I mean? You flush that out, that sort of personality type. Chris famously never gets sick except for when he has COVID, but did you ever push through and go to school while you were...

[28:10] I'm sure. I mean, now I get arrested for going to school with a runny nose. But in the good old days, in the 90s, you didn't stop. I also knew, by the way, growing up in St. Louis, other people get out of their hometowns other way. Maybe you're good at sports. Maybe you get a sports scholarship. Maybe you're Carly Klaus, who's also from St. Louis, who is six feet tall in eighth grade and Maggie and a supermodel. That wasn't my destiny. So I knew that the way I was getting out of here was... [28:38] Over preparation, ambition. Okay. I got a scholarship in NYU and then I never went back. Oh, we got a scholarship. I knew you had to throw that in. Academic, I assume. What were your extracurricular activities to get you approved? Funny you should ask. Jason, I lettered. I think I was a doctor of athletics. I was a Missouri scholar athlete. I played three sports every year. I was on the soccer team, the swim team, and the volleyball team. And don't you dare make any comments. No straight sports were available? [29:08] We don't have to make the joke, Derek. It's all there. How long has it been? I was waiting for the homoerotic subtext to emerge in today's podcast. I mean, honestly, I was volleyball. Because I have a friend, Eric Shaquine, who you might know, who went to NYU and he played volleyball at NYU. And I met all these guys that got scholarships to NYU to play volleyball. I didn't even know that was possible. I think we were the flaming violets in NYU. Have they? Come on. Say something. Say something right now. [29:34] Say something right now. Flaming Violets is... I fucking dare you. [29:39] Flaming Violets is really cool, honestly. It sounds more like a band than it does a sports franchise. You landed that plane. Well done, Chris. Who are your top St. Louis? Because the only three I know are you, Andy, and Carly. So who else do we have? Jon Hamm? Jon Hamm is from St. Louis. Sam Altman and Jon Hamm went to the same high school. Jon Goodman, Kevin Kline. Oh, this is pretty great. Okay, shit. All right. Any women or no?

[30:03] other than cloths any women seems like a lot of leading men up in here which i'm not complaining about but i i do like diversity um i know you're famously famously diverse because i have i conures georgia we have we have the fannings which is a huge export for us being a and dakota and l are from they went yeah conures georgia they grew up in the valley what are you talking about but they were not born in the valley how shitty is they were shitty is your town that the only people you [30:33] Very shitty. [30:36] In utero. We had a famous STD outbreak that was part of a documentary on PBS and a school shooting. We're a suburb, for Christ's sake. It's America. Yeah. Everyone has a school shooting now. This is vintage, though. This is before it was cool. School shooting is not going to get you into NYU anymore. We're going to need something more than that. I'm just saying St. Louis seems relatively stacked for a place that we don't consider much. [31:03] legendarily from St. Louis, pure in a coffee chow. Like, what do you mean we don't consider much? Where would you be without beer and dog food, Chris? A little respect. Honestly, let's have respect on St. Louis' name. I'm proud to say I've never bought dog food in my life, and beer wasn't really my thing. So you see how I could overlook these. Okay, Derek, rib-related question. Do you use the hands for eating ribs, or are you a knife and fork ribber? I use my hands for everything, Jason. Thanks for asking.

[31:33] Okay, wrapping it up. How long gone? Thank you for joining us. I like that. When you go to sushi, are we chopsticks or hands? [31:39] chopsticks okay i told the story in this podcast when you took me to that to to lunch and it was the most expensive lunch i've ever been to and i appreciate that that was the best date you've ever had you told me it was the best date you ever had where'd you go we went to capo masa at 976 madison avenue between 76 and 77 street conveniently located beneath the gagosian gallery but darry i told you this jason we get the bill and i pull out and he goes like you don't want to do that and i was like i was like oh that's called chivalry chivalry i was like oh [32:09] split it he's like you don't want to do that and just put his card down and then i found out the this was the 50 melon dessert right right right right right well i was doing that was a long con and you're a sucker i was doing that to seduce you for one day you would have me on this podcast it doesn't take it doesn't take that but it helps i mean it can't hurt you know it can't you're saying you're a cheap date and i overspent i'm saying we do three of these a week you know at a certain point everybody chris chris will put out chris will put out for a bean and cheese you don't

[32:39] Jason does. Sounds like he's still got that jerky on his mouth. Jason does. Okay. [32:44] Oh, shit. All right. So your book came out. You did it last night with friend of the show, Sarah Moonves. You guys in conversation. Sarah Moonves very kindly hosted a Q&A with me. Shout out to Sarah. For a book called Fast and Loosh. Yes. Hi, Sarah. Hi, Jeff. And tell us what the book is about. [33:01] So, uh, uh... [33:03] I gotta be honest, the whole concept of the book was pretty, I didn't think, [33:08] I did not think it was like, this was not a deep dive. Sure. But then when I got into it, and after I've been speaking about it with Sarah, with you guys, with other people, it's become like a much more deep dive. [33:21] project. So the top line is I had a column in an interview magazine from 2009 to 2012. My editor at the time was Christopher Bolin, who I'm sure you guys know. And it was called Fast and Loosh, and it was a diary. And what was awesome about 2009 to 2012 is that we had already developed a [33:40] Rapid communication, right? You could text. You had a Blackberry. You had a sidekick. You had BBM. I miss BBM. We all do. We talk about it all the time. Best form of communication. But 2012... [33:52] was before [33:54] the onslaught of social media. Yeah. Which obviously changed the way we live, changed with what you could get by with, changed the way you measured a good night. So Sarah and I were going over all the incredible ways you used to measure a good night, which was hangovers, broken shoes, missed appointments the next day, cuts, bruises, black eyes, physical harm. Exactly, Jason. And now, of course, young people are measuring, I think, a good night in likes, engagement, shares, or they got a Fitbit. Sleep score.

[34:24] Yeah, they're measuring it on hours of sleep. And so, um, 2009 to 2012, in my mind, at least, and probably in some other people that were around at that time, was this sweet spot where you're super connected, but you were still living inside the room. And so, uh, Sarah Andelman, who has a Paris-based publishing company called Just an Idea, I had always wanted to do something together with her. And so she once, she remembered that column, she says, do you still have these pictures? Yeah. [34:51] and i do i had i mean i had him in an old hard drive and i had to [34:54] Find that. [34:55] motherfucker and dig it up and juice it up and and i sent her about i'm sorry you had to do that it feels below you it was um well you know i'm a if you want it done right do it yourself kind of guy jason i actually i don't you're crossed to bear since you refused to engage with my only point of contact for this shitty podcast is chris and so as he knows i book myself it was my own calendar my own calendar as you know because you had to sign me into this thing i didn't know how [35:25] Kind of. Yeah. We love our teams, of course, but we are solo operators. These photos made it from a BlackBerry. [35:32] into a hard drive that's set in a closet somewhere, and then you were able to resurrect them. No, no, no. Not a BlackBerry. So this is actually even more fascinating, is that these pictures were taken, like, on a Canon G9, G10. Oh, you were taken—okay, so the quality's a little better. That's what I was going to ask, because a BlackBerry photo at this point would look like, I mean, blobs. A BlackBerry in 2008? [35:53] We had one pixel. There was no high down. Okay, so these pictures. All right, so what haunts? I mean, I'm sure this is prime time for you, I'm assuming. Wait, is this more a photo book than a written book, or is it both? It's pictures and captions. Thank you for checking out the PDF before we did this today, guys. Really appreciate your involvement and deep, thorough research on this project. Anyway, but let's stick on the camera. Hold on, hold on. I didn't receive a PDF, so I don't know what you're talking about. PDF, we don't know her, Derek.

[36:23] Yeah, I've never met her once from you. Well, maybe that's on me for not sending it. But really, I'm the guest here. Be a little bit more hospitable. The customer's always right. We do apologize. But I want to stay on the camera for one second because as I'm looking back on these pictures, I don't know if you ever took pictures at night. The idea, we are now obsessed with streamlining our lives. I don't even take a wallet out anymore. You know, your credit cards on your digital wallet. We're tapping. [36:53] device around with you at night that you had to remember to charge, that you had to like have an external battery. And you're not, you're not even, you're not even the kind of gay that carries a purse. So you had to put it in your pocket. Hey, Chris, what kind of gay carries a purse? Blush that out for me. Just different gays. I'm just saying you're not that type. Let's sit with this. Let's sit with this. No, no, no. The kind of gay that carries a purse. Just, just different ones. I don't know. I'm just saying. I use the term purse. Why not like messenger bag? Banny pack. [37:23] messenger bag over at at bungalow eight it was patagonia and i did so how dare you period you are from st louis okay all right so we we we got all these we got all these photos wait i'm still on the camera because then you had to wait for the you had to wait for the flash to charge oh yeah sure and do you remember the sound and like you're waiting and so like you take a picture of your friend they're like kind of you know people don't wait for shit anymore so then like you have a

[37:53] the picture, then you get home. You have to remove the memory card, get an external memory. Now computers, most computers now have a memory card reader on it. So now you have another... [38:03] piece of equipment. You got a dongle. You had to download the pictures. I mean, I am... [38:09] As I said earlier, like looking, I thought this would be sort of a lightweight like project. Here's some pictures from 17 years ago. But I keep on going back to like how different life was then that you would, that you, that I did all that shit. That you could bring the camera, bring the memory card, charge it, share it. And we were more than happy to do all that because it was easy. It still felt like you're cheating God by not having to go drop the film off and waiting a week. You were winning. And paying all this money. But you're like, oh, you just pull this thing out and stick it into my dongle. [38:39] And then speaking of playing God, I loved having the pictures because then everybody wanted them the next day. You know, you'd be like, oh, I haven't downloaded the pictures yet. You could bargain with them. You hold them ransom. Memories with leverage, you know. Wow. Okay. So a little toxic male photographer energy. I like that. Oh, wow. That's how you define it? Let's just get you out of that shirt real quick for the next one. I got a couple of great snaps of you if you want to come over to the house later and check them out. I got a really nice bottle of red. [39:09] open up. Exactly. It's actually decanting right now if you're here in the next hour. We can probably get into it. So Terry Richardson walked so Derek Blasberg could run is what we're saying. That's exactly what I'm saying. And you are also, it sounds like you're a little bit in...

[39:24] In the Mark the Cobra Snake's nachos, did you have a website to display these pics? Of course not. No, this was not a job. This was a hobby. This was a passion project. It was a jobby. Is the Cobra Snake's first name Mark? [39:35] Yeah. [39:36] Oh. Yeah. You're more of a last night's party guy. The teacher becomes the student, Derek. [39:43] All right. So when you were publishing this in an interview, how many, you know, on average, how many photos are running? Is this monthly, I assume? Yeah. Well, magazines were monthly then, Chris. Well, it's a far, well, there were websites then. Okay. Tell us what it was like before digital covers, Derek. Yeah. You're part of the fucking problem. Editor at large ass, digital cover ass. [40:06] So how many photos on average would run? Like, what are we talking, 10? More than 10 because, of course, you wanted to squeeze as much on a page as you could. The other thing you realize, the difference between digital and paper, is that no one's cramming space on digital. Like, you could, yeah, sure, 1,000 words, 10,000 words. We don't give a shit. Just make sure it's due on Monday. Don't even fact check it. No one's going to read this. Fuck it. [40:33] None of this matters anymore. Nothing matters. [40:36] All right, what are the top three clubs photographed and then subjects? Like how many pictures of the Olsen twins inside? Maybe Chris can guess. Maybe the top three. We got the Olsens. We got a Chloe Sav. We got, you know, whoever it could be. Who is really out? Kirsten Dunst? You're overlooking one queen.

[40:57] of the New York scene. [40:58] In 2009 to 2012. A Sarah Moonves? Who? Corey Kennedy? You're getting so far. I think we're glamorous. Who? [41:06] Think more... Madonna? Madonna? [41:08] vibrant, little younger, [41:10] More freckles. [41:14] Google is offering free AI training and tools to U.S. small businesses, so they can innovate in ways both big and small. Built by Google experts, the Google AI Professional Certificate equips small businesses with practical AI skills. Through hands-on projects, they can start using AI to get more done and unlock new opportunities for their business. This is a new era of American innovation. Find out more at grow.google/business. [41:43] Listen to the heartbeat. Chevy is called the heartbeat of America for a reason. With SUVs made to move with your rhythm. The versatile Equinox tackles your entire day. The spacious Traverse fits your crew and your whole weekend. And tracks bring style with value you can count on. All infused with tech that has your back. So your drive always hits the right chord. Chevrolet. Together let's drive. [42:13] you [42:15] Lindsay Lohan, of course, the queen. Lindsay Lohan, of course. I forgot you used to really rub elbows. Chris should have got that. Chris should have got that. Chris, I'm disappointed. I'm sorry, you're right. I should have got that too because I was throwing parties in LA in 2009. That Lindsay Lohan was going to. Didn't do a ton of interacting besides filling up her crystal geyser bottles with gray goose and hiding them under a table. All right, so I'm guessing that... Not a ton. Lindsay, I'm sorry.

[42:45] Lindsay Lohan is number one. And then Beatrice Inn is the number one club. At 2009, you know, Bungalow 8 was on its way out. Beatrice was... And Lit was... You weren't going... Lit was hot. Yes. There's a whole spread... [42:58] an accompanying text devoted to Chrissy Miller and Lit. Wow. My first DJ set in New York, Lit Lounge Basement. Wow. That's actually, okay. Chrissy deserves that. Chrissy's a day one. Shout out Chrissy Miller. She deserves that. Love Chrissy. Okay. So [43:14] Lindsay Lohan also was very hot. Not celebrity-wise. I'm saying looks. She was... That was her Pete. You're saying that, like, that's like a... [43:23] a fascinating topic i'm saying she was making your job easier as the photographer is what i'm trying to say i didn't know chris i didn't know that you thought she was that hot oh i'm a low hand lover low hand in her prime low head there's something that existed during this era called the linds zine there's three issues of what's linds zine a guy made a zine of pictures of lindsie lohan he did three editions it was black and white photocopy of course i have them all three in the archives and it was just the picture of lindsie lohan posing with like the mtv awards [43:53] in a bikini with the... And an alcohol monitoring bracelet. I know exactly where we were going. Yeah, that's one of... That picture sums up that era so beautifully. Want me to blow your mind, guys? [44:04] lindsey lohan turned 40 years old on july 2nd no i know i know she still she honestly looks good she's she went to she got her middle eastern guy with bread she got the right work done she looks good she's great and i think she she i think she is living uh cleaner better she got it together she kind of got it together okay but if you could you because you famously have a deep rich rolodex could you text lohan now like do you have the current cell phone

[44:30] I do. You're really, I do. [44:33] Lindsay knew. She had a birthday party in Sag Harbor. Lindsay knew knew knew. [44:40] So you went to her 40th in Sag Harbor. Sadly it overlapped with couture sweetie and I'm here selling a book so work comes first always. I love that you're at couture to sell a book. That's the that those two things are at odds in some ways. All right. Well I'm not here to buy a dress. I know I know I know. All right so Lohan. He's not there for the food. Also just so we're [45:03] I also went home to Missouri. There was columns on Lake of the Ozarks. It was... Okay. And the true Warholian, who founded, of course, Andy Warhol, founded Interview Magazine. There was a diary. The banal is as interesting as the beautiful. There was... The minutiae of DB's life. It's not just the nightclub. It's the full package. Okay? As it should be. It's not just the interest in. Inclusive. That might have been your life in 2009, but don't put your shit on me. No, Derek, I'm thinking about just time. [45:33] spent. And I would say you were probably in a nightclub more than you were visiting your parents or going to Lake of the Ozarks during that time period. That's all I'm saying. My mom will love to hear that. Thank you so much. That's not a shot. You're just a busy guy. Shout out Carol. Yeah. These are my friends. This is where people's like in New York. This is what it does to you. All right. So last night you guys talk about it. Yeah. You were in the famous Karl Lagerfeld library, which has been, you know, if you were on Tumblr, you know, this library, it's an

[46:03] Often I had worked... There's... [46:06] There's pictures in the book of me when I was on set with Carl. [46:10] He asked me to style a story with Daphne Guinness and Amanda Harlick, where they transformed into each other. [46:17] or an issue of V Magazine in 2011. Jesus Christ. I mean, yes. [46:23] Bravissimo. And I, wow, yeah, Matt, I'll send you the pictures. I'll send you the pictures. No, I'm going to buy the book, Derek. I'm a real, I'm a friend. I'm going to buy the book. No, I buy a book. Jason, tell him. Jason, tell him. I don't do that. I buy. He would buy this even if he did not know you, and even if there wasn't an A-list name attached to it. If it was just like something you found in a bookstore, he would be like, oh, this is exactly right up my alley. Oh, wow. You're such a... [46:47] You're such a fan of the printed work. Wow. I am. What can I say? Well, he's a collector of printed materials, but also that time frame of going out in the club, he was also there and it's near and dear to his heart. But when you were talking about the book initially... [47:01] Before I knew it was about because I didn't get the PDF, you were saying like how you're fascinated with that specific time frame of 09 to 012, you know, generational divides and things like that. [47:12] is that fascination going to turn into more output? Maybe, you know, a screenplay, a novella, an essay or something just to explore. I mean, that's what I thought the book was going to be about. I thought it was going to be one of those books that you read instead of look at. But, I mean, it's just something that I'm very fascinated in. That was no shade, by the way. But I think I want to see you explore that subject more because I find it really interesting, that little window. I'm sure you two read Mark Ronson's book, Night People.

[47:42] a lot on the pod because it was so thorough as far as like the the they sent the hardcover the the the deep diving on the music stuff and like really getting into it i asked him i was like dude that's just nerd he's like i couldn't have done it without that because it was like what made it interesting to me which i found because i was like i think that would polarize some people because it's so in the weeds but i think it does paint a better picture that way um yeah denmark do the podcast yeah he's on the podcast a couple times yeah [48:09] Oh, wow. Great. A couple times. No, I just didn't mean it like that. You've got more followers than YouTube. But I do think that when you realize that your age group is now old enough to look backwards and a younger demographic is interested in that, I do feel like that's a real moment in a person's life. For sure. And I also think most people who do what we do... [48:35] are always looking forward. There's not a lot of time for personal nostalgia. Of course, fashion, people, art, people are constantly looking back for references or inspiration. But the idea of mining your own iPhoto or your own [48:47] you know, archive for pictures or stories [48:50] It was surreal because I really... [48:53] feel like that was yesterday it doesn't feel like it was 17 years ago now when you were when you were doing this did you like did you get misty like did you get like how did it make you feel like on an emotional level did a post-nasal drip come back out of nowhere yeah there were moments that made me misty i don't understand that post-nasal drips uh i know you don't i know you don't i know cocaine cocaine do you guys have you have allergies yeah jason's famously allergic to a

[49:23] stuff. I do have some sinus issues, but it was more so when you do cocaine, you get a little drip, and people do cocaine in the club. I just thought you had a deviated septum. I had no idea that you were... [49:32] talking so quickly to so many strangers for so long. I am deviated, if you must know. He's deviated, but he's famous for his schnauz, so he can't go get it fixed. Like, you know, everybody, I have a deviated septum, I have to get a nose job. Jason can't do that. It'd take away from his appeal. That raw sexual chemistry would be completely diminished if you had a appropriately sized nose. I can't tuck my ears either. People like these satellite dishes. The saucers. Wow, look at those. I know. Don't, Jason, are you an ear guy? What's your body part, Derek? [50:02] armpits. What's up? What's my... [50:04] That's my preferred body part or like your nose in your ears that I'm insecure about? No, no, no. You're a body part on a partner that you covet the most. I like a sensitive soul and a good sense of humor, Jason. You lying sack of shit. Just say collarbone and move on. Come on. Give me the real shit. Just say collarbone and move on. I like a thick neck. [50:25] A thick neck is what I'm looking for. Hell yeah. You're like a thick neck. Hell yeah. There we go. Get you one of those little F1 drivers. I'm going to circle back onto the stuff that made me misty-ized and vaguely leave the homoeroticism back on the table. Circle back. I got misty when I would find pictures... [50:45] of people who are no longer here, like Karl Lagerfeld or Andre Leon Talley. You guys remember Peaches Geldof? Of course, yeah. We saw some great pictures of her. Yeah. So there are definitely...

[50:56] moments, um, like when I found all these pictures of Andre and Tali, I wanted to send them to him. And so they're, [51:03] there was some, I mean, I wasn't so close to him that I was bawling my eyes out when I realized, when I had to remind myself he wasn't, [51:11] on this planet anymore, but it was, there were definitely moments of un- [51:16] unmistakable acknowledgement that like life is different now that [51:20] The other thing that I should really point out is that I don't want to be one of these now middle-aged gay dads who talk about the good old days or life was better then. [51:29] Social media definitely made that type of life impossible. It disrupted magazines, going out suddenly felt different, having fun. [51:40] is definitely more performative now, but I don't want to shit talk social media because [51:45] I made a whole career, partly on the back of social media. I always teed my friends, I'm like the world's oldest influencer. Like, I don't want... I don't want to say that it's all been bad. No, I don't think... I think you can, like... [52:01] see both things you know i think both things can be valuable but if social media never existed you'd be you know finding a way to be influential otherwise so when i when when i'm growing up in st louis and you've got your face pressed against the glass and you're looking on this industry of art and and fashion and culture and style like i i really thought i was going to get a job at a magazine and work there my whole life and suddenly the landscape i don't need to tell you guys this

[52:31] that magazines look much different now. Four or five editors in chief continues. [52:36] The media landscape looks so much different now. So, um... [52:41] You know, I always get these annoying questions, which I'm sure are too enlightened interviewers like yourself. Whenever I ask someone, like, what do you want to do next? Or what does the next 10 years look like? I don't, all those, all those questions seem so silly to even contemplate because guys, AI is going to change the way, you know, the way, the way that social media changed the way media works. [53:00] looks now the next digital wave is going to why make plans it's all going to be chaotic and terrible no i we should have a have a five-day plan not a five-year plan there we go you seem like you seem similar to jason and i in a way where it's like let me stop you right there how dare you whatever comes i mean i mean in not financially of course you're much better off than [53:30] And you roll with it and more things happen and you just go with it. And I think it's encouraging to see other people do that because it feels like you've just sort of figured it out as you've gone along and figured out what your strengths were and just sort of went with it. But it's a conscious for me. I can't speak for you and the other one. It's a conscious choice to to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Roll with the punches. [53:51] Because there was a moment, so my first job out of college, I worked at Vogue and I was fired. And there was a moment when I was like, wow, I'm going to move back to Missouri and become a realtor. That's a wrap on my dreams. And so I think...

[54:02] realizing, oh, my [54:06] my version of my career is going to be different was a conscious choice. And in a weird way, I'm still often surprised it has managed to work out as much as it has managed to work out. Even last night, for example, I had this book party at Karl Lagerfeld's photo studio, which I had worked with this master at so long ago. It's a surreal concept to think. [54:36] As big as I am living. Yeah. Is what I'm saying. And I won't even make you list off the bold-faced names, page six style, who are in attendance. I wouldn't ask you to do that. It would be gauche. Give me a couple, Chris. I don't know. I haven't seen the wrap-up yet. I'm sure there'll be a Vanity Fair exclusive with the pictures, as well as all the bold-faced names and a party report. Vanity Fair literally wrote about this book two days ago, Chris. I can see your research was thorough. Derek, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a party report, and you know they're different. Don't try to do this, okay? You know they're different. [55:06] knows they're different, it's you. Wow. Try this bullshit with me. This hostility. When Derek hits publish on that post, you'll see... I know this is an audio... [55:14] an audio format but I need everyone to know that Chris was just pointing at the camera and screaming at me and it was hostile and belligerent and I don't feel safe sometimes sometimes I do make people feel unsafe and I apologize for that yeah Chris likes to do this thing where he's like I'm recording you and he's like and they're like I'm on a podcast I know that and he's like no I'll film you and he starts filming the camera on the screen it's so weird wow I know that feels his Karen isms are in his DNA he can't help I can't help myself I can't help real proud boy real proud real proud

[55:44] Proud of lots of things. Proud of lots of things. Okay, um... [55:47] I wanted to get your take on... We were talking on the intro of the episode... [55:51] Do you think Lena Dunham has the power to split up Jack Antonov and Margaret Qualley? I love Lena Dunham. I don't understand the question, though. Is there a suggestion? Well, the stories are now that Margaret Qualley and Jack Antonov have split. She deleted his photos from Instagram. She didn't come to the wedding. And there's rumors that the power of Lena Dunham, she's sort of harnessing. I thought Margaret got off Instagram. Hey, man. I'm reporting what the Daily Mail told me. If there's not a better source. This is why we have you on, Derek. [56:21] a primary source the daily mail then oh excuse me i am so sorry for this is a good question do you know anyone and tell us the truth if it's you do you know anyone who pays for daily mail plus they can see every story i don't and i'm on a i'm on several group chain and like sometimes there'll be a story someone wants to know and they're like okay who you know can someone pdf it not me daily mail i'll pay for anything daily mail plus i can't i'm like that's too far to pay for you'll only pay [56:51] How much does it cost? Is it expensive, like Shutterstock or something? Oh, no, it's not expensive. No, no, no. It's like $2.99 a month. It's just the, that is a line, that is just a bridge I can't cross. Well, now I know what you're getting for Christmas this year. That'd be an amazing gift, actually, to give someone. I agree. Lifetime subscription? Is that how much it costs? [57:09] My sub stack is $6 a month. So you're suggesting that I am twice as expensive as the Daily Mail? Yeah, and you don't even offer as much just based on what I... Well, you have so many employees and staff that you got to pay out of that $6. All right, so you worked at Vogue and got fired. Didn't you work at Teen Vogue too?

[57:26] I graduated college in 2004, and I got a job that year out of college. And I worked there for almost a year until 2005. And then I was essentially flung to the freelance gods, and I would literally write for anyone. I wrote for Teen Vogue. They had just launched... [57:43] "Chinese vogue and Russian vogue, Spanish vogue. I would come over to your house and write your emails." You know, it was very... [57:52] You know what's even crazier? I didn't have health insurance. I had to... When young people come up to you now and they say, what advice do you have for starting a career and stuff? I always sort of... [58:03] hesitate because my early days were really so reckless no health insurance living paycheck to paycheck getting paid two dollars a word now of course two dollars a word is pretty high nowadays yeah two dollars a word's a dream nowadays you can't tell people to go out all day and go out all night you have to remind them to make space and prioritize well-being and i did not have space or well-being for many many years nowadays it's like you're you're the job is very different than [58:33] complain about it. You know, I used to say like, these kids don't have what we had and we had all this hustle and stuff. But I have to remind myself, of course, that the world is different. Yeah, it is. We were not as harassed by screens and social media. And so maybe the idea of a mental health day to me is absurd, but maybe young people today need them in a way we didn't. Maybe I'll do something. I do stuff for free all the time because I don't care if I want to do it.

[59:03] that are like 30 that have that attitude, but I would say most young people think they need to get paid to do every single thing. And that's just sort of not how we were raised. Oh, that's interesting. I didn't think that my sort of... [59:16] gut reactions to younger people entering the workforce now is not that they ask for money, it's that they ask for so much white glove treatment that they want a soft landing on everything. I think it's both. I think it's both. I want you to pay me $50 an hour and also be really nice to me and please never hurt my feelings. [59:34] But then I think about what Instagram was like when it started. Remember when it was all sunsets and avocado toast and selfies and shit? And even if we think about how interacting with that has changed now, I used to go on Instagram, you're waiting for a taxi or you're on the subway, or, you know, you'd be like, oh, I'm going to see what my... [59:49] friends kids i've never met are up to and now you're so big now you're waiting for an uber or something and you whip out your phone and you're i'll see what my i want to see what's on that happened on instagram and it's you know dead baby in gaza ukraine yeah it's the the the stakes of engaging right externally even on your phone are so much higher my immediate [1:00:13] reaction when a young person asks for a mental health day is to say like [1:00:17] fuck off you soft loser you you don't have what i had but like maybe if you've just been on tiktok for two for two hours maybe if you've been on tiktok for two hours yeah you do need a you do need some time off [1:00:29] Yeah. It's a shame because I'll never work with you again. [1:00:33] You do need some time off. I do wish you well in the rest of your troubled life. I'm going to give you more than a mental health day. You're going to, you're done. I think you're giving, you're giving young people a lot of grace. And I think that's very sweet of you to do that. But you know, all, all this stuff is elective at the end of the day. Like you don't, no one's technically forcing you to scroll TikTok, you know, babies and GoFundMes and,

[1:00:59] is very difficult. That's true, Jason. Almost impossible, I would say. Are you on TikTok? [1:01:05] I'm not on TikTok. That was the, that's when I, I'm proud of you. That's when I knew it was. That's another thing that we have in common, Derek. We never crossed that picket line into TikTok land. It just felt. I did Friendster by a show of hands who was on Friendster. [1:01:17] I see three hands. I did Facebook. Uh-huh. Three hands. Chris is still on Facebook. Twitter? I use Twitter all day, every day. That's still my number one. Wow. Wow. Instagram? Snapchat? Snapchat, no. I'm not on Snapchat. I'm saying I did all these. [1:01:33] And people who want dick pics. I did all these things, but then when TikTok came around. Can I have a dick pic? [1:01:37] I didn't have it in me. Too bad. We don't have time to explain Makeout Club to you, but that's the real OG social network. What do you mean we don't have time? You got something else to do? Isn't this your job? [1:01:49] Are we doing your job right now? Makeout Club was basically Friendster for the punk and hardcore community before Friendster existed. Makeout Club is an app or was a viral challenge? Makeoutclub.com was a website. No, this is 1999. [1:02:07] or not. It's a message board for emo sluts. No, this is cooler than that because you could talk about how you liked Morrissey and Camus. You know, it had everything. Oh, so it was performative losers. [1:02:17] As opposed to superficial. I wasn't going to say that, but you're not wrong when you make, now that you say it, but it was like a guy, a guy like a horny performative losers, but it was like, it was the first place I ever saw where you could like write your interests and post pictures of yourself and other people could see that and contact you. Oh, when you finally felt, you finally felt seen, Chris, that was so good. Oh, this was great. Was being, was being a straight white male in the South hard for you? Actually, actually. Yeah. When you looked like me, Derek, if you want to get into it, yes, I rejected societal norms

[1:02:47] so what do you want to say wow oh so now we got time before we didn't have time but now when we're talking about you now we got a lot of time chris was punk as fuck and obese so yeah yeah please you don't know my struggle okay i wasn't in the club with celebrities drinking champagne okay i was struggling growing up as a as a young gay person in st louis missouri with a stroll in the park oh because you what you ate too much fuck off oh wow the biggest city in missouri wow must [1:03:17] Kansas City is the capital of Missouri. And don't forget Kansas City is also in Missouri, which is where... [1:03:23] Mr. Travis. [1:03:24] - Kelsey's a guy. - Yeah, I know Travis Kelsey. I know some, I mean, Jason Sudeikis. [1:03:29] uh there's a couple other jason so they give jeff city by the way jefferson's yeah who else is oh it's sorry i forget that my bingo is so midwestern still because you can take the boy out of missouri but not the misery out of etc etc a river rat like you you've really tried to get it out but you can't you've really tried you've gone as far as you could yeah when you get drunk does it come out i love where i come does what come out jason [1:03:51] Your southern affectation. Don't act like he meant penis, Derek. I saw what you did there. I do declare. I do not mean. I do declare this is my penis. [1:04:05] I used to go to the Lake of the Ozarks... [1:04:07] every summer or with my family and my my long suffering and incredibly successful and obviously something's wrong with him my much better half nick brown we're bringing his dad and his stepmom to missouri with us this summer too shout out to nick for slumming it with a guy from the midwest nick nick's at the top of the pyramid i'd love to see it he's gonna put some michael obultras down just to be nice ultra bud light st louis oh yeah you can't jesus guys you're a bud light drinker

[1:04:34] Yeah. You and Posty? That's cool. [1:04:37] Is that short for Post Malone? Don't act like you don't know that. Is that short for the U.S. Postal Service? I'm unfamiliar. I don't know. Some of those guys are definitely drunk. [1:04:49] Mail carriers? It's true. It's true. [1:04:52] Is that it? I saw Chris got some food delivered in the middle of this fucking podcast. That was my, I want to be clear, that was my shoes. The hotel shined them for me because they'd gotten dusty. Oh, of course. Yeah. Oh, you've never had a suit pressed and shoe shined at a hotel? Come on. Not when I'm working, Chris. And I'm going to introduce you to what a job is. A job is something that you prioritize over shoe shines. I prioritize. That's why I farmed it out to the nice people here at the Rosewood. I didn't do it myself. I guess you lost your do not disturb sign. No, I don't think they, [1:05:22] nice here they won't leave it outside the door because obviously then it could get stolen your shoes are safe i'm sick of this shit i honestly i thought your camera froze because you got red so hard but you were really just stuck on stupid for that long derrick's got me stuck on stupid chris what kind of shoes are those [1:05:45] The JM Weston penny lovers. Derek's got a pair. It's a classic Weston. Chris, I'm sure your shoes are lovely, and I apologize for criticizing your look. I'm just trying to stay present in this kind of bro-y. I understand. He's participating in the locker room talk the way we are. This is harder for you than it is for us. We got the double dutch going, and you're jumping in, you're jumping out. As a fan of this podcast, I know that you gentlemen show affection for each other by criticizing their physical appearance,

[1:06:15] insulting insulting them to their face so i i'm sure your your loafers penny loafers you said i'm sure they're very lovely and super expensive well they are they are now thanks to the shine they got they were looking a little you know worse for the wear on that note let's get back to the new york tough embroidery on the shirt is that like a a call and response to the boston strong is there a story behind it are you just a tough new yorker these [1:06:40] Shirts were made during COVID. [1:06:43] I think as a... [1:06:45] as a maybe a fundraiser i would love to know who made oh yeah a fundraiser say something say something now it's a fundraiser for covid people okay 125 went pretty far to save lives i'm sure but i still people what do you mean by covid people what exactly do you mean by that the first responders or the first deaths we're not exactly sure yet but not 100 we're not 100 all right what's on the docket for the rest of the week over there in paris uh today was the last [1:07:15] Paris. Tomorrow I'm in Rome for a Fendi show. And then I go home to Nick and the Kiddos on Friday. Okay, are we going... [1:07:24] quote-unquote out east for the weekend uh if you're talking about long island yeah i'll be on the weekend oh you're one of those guys i love that jason just one of those guys as a west coaster if you don't want to say emma gansett because or east hampton you say out east but now derek has raised the bar and said long island which is the ultimate lie about where you're going it's not a lie it's literally long island that's not a lie i know but you know you know exactly what the fuck i mean it's the same way you like to call yourself an influencer when you know

[1:07:54] much more to your rich tapestry. If you want to call me a New York Times bestselling author, that's on you. If you want to say I have a house in the Hamptons, that's on you. I'm just going to say I am a Midwestern hustler trying to live his best life one day at a time. I think it's good manners to do that, to play it down. You don't want to sound douchey. There's a sweet spot. What is your title at Vanity Fair? Editor at large? Contributing editor? No, it's special correspondent, but I wouldn't have expected you to look that up before you introduced me. [1:08:24] For this special correspondent you got. So, okay. Special correspondent feels a little newsy. I have to say it feels a little. Want me to blow your mind? Want me to blow your mind? So I have been on the Masset at the United Fair since Graydon Carter's era and Graydon Carter, he gave me a title that was quote, our man on the street. [1:08:41] End quote. That's the ultimate. That's my dream. Honestly, that's my petition to get that back. It's a little wordy, but I like special correspondent feels heavy a little bit. You know, it feels like you're going into the war. Chris, you're showing your age here. The fact that you care about titles and mastheads. I mean, kids don't even know what a masthead is anymore. I'm just trying to make, you know, [1:08:58] Good stories. Just trying to educate folks. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Educate is what we're trying to do. That's a, that's a great way to put it. Yeah. But you're not on the street that much anymore though. Are you? Every day. Okay. When you see my steppers. [1:09:11] I would love to see your step. I mean, I know you physically walk places. I think Jason meant the streets. Are you, quote unquote, outside as much as you were at 28? You know what I mean? I probably am inside more than at 28. Yeah.

[1:09:26] I mean, literally more so, you know. Oh, this was metaphorical? Oh, we were talking in metaphors? Yeah. Not exactly. I am not living the same life I had when I was 24 at the age of 44. Look, you're out though. I see you. [1:09:41] out and I appreciate that. You haven't slowed down that much considering your big age and your child rearing and et cetera, et cetera. So you should be proud of yourself. I like going out. I'm a natural extrovert. Same. I like going out too. I like going out too. And maybe you feel the same way because you probably have some people in your life that say like, oh, how do you do it? Aren't you tired? It's such a condescending thing to say just because you can't. [1:10:02] go out all the time i mean i should feel guilty about going out because i'm not a pussy and also sometimes drugs and alcohol but chris does it stone cold sober and i don't think you're a messy bitch derek i think you keep the train on the rails that was the first nice thing i think you said to me jason thank you that was so sweet i i don't think you're a messy bitch that was so sweet thank you do you have uh do you have a drink cut off limit for when you're socializing i don't [1:10:32] I let it spray. Well, certain nights, certain nights you feel more inclined and certain nights you don't need to get after it. You know, you got to take where the night takes you, you know, that's true. You got to go. That's true. That's a good attitude to have. That's a good attack. What is the Derek? What's the book called? It's called Fast and Loosh. It's published by just an idea. And you can find out more on just an idea.com. Okay. And follow me on Substack at and another thing with Derek Blasberg. And don't forget Instagram. [1:10:56] Pop that like button. And one of the best things about Derek is that... Why are you laughing, Jason? Yeah. Because you're too good. I feel like you are such a... Shut up. No, you just said you're a natural extrovert, but...

[1:11:09] In terms of socializing, [1:11:11] Chatty convo, dinner party discussions, broadcasting in general. You excel at all of those. And I feel like you need to have your own show. Wow. Yeah. You're such a good broadcaster. You know how to pick the ball up whenever it's falling. And I can see your brain just kind of running circles around everyone else, usually in the room. Should we kill Chris off and do this together, Jason? Is that an opportunity? Please. God, take me now, please. Yeah, I'll look. [1:11:41] I'm not so good with kids, but like, you know, the rest of it I could probably handle. But if he got rid of Chris, how would his shoes get... [1:11:48] shined you know look he has he has so many irons in the fire if we i tanya him on this podcast he'll figure out a way to you know do something well watch this space he'll sell some cameras derrick hit chris in the knee with a fucking metal baton why me why me all right i'll give anyone here who knows the name of the guy who hit her no no great name do you know his name no googling no no no i don't know i don't know i don't know lully [1:12:15] Jeff Galooly. That is a good name. That's right. I, Tonya, how many times have you watched that on the Delta Float? [1:12:20] I actually prefer a movie musical on an overnight fight. [1:12:24] Bohemian Rhapsody. Movie musical. Bohemian Rhapsody is a great one. I just watched that on my last flight, actually. Terrible. The Elton John. Whoa. Wow. Wow. After everything. Chris doesn't like movies that much in general. I don't like Queen. I really don't like the band Queen. Wow. Queen's so good. I find it so deeply corny, even though he's a legend. And I respect, I think he's- You find the movie corny? You find the existence of this- Everything about it. Everything about it. Genre defining, that's corny. I just, something about it. I just cannot get with it.

[1:12:54] And I know that it's good. I get the appeal. It's just not for me. He's missing the queen chromosome that most people have. Actually, I don't think I am. And that's the thing that makes it confusing. That's the thing that makes it confusing. [1:13:08] Derek, thank you for joining us on How Long Gone. We'll have you back anytime. Congratulations on the book. And enjoy Rome and have a safe trip back to Long Island. Thank you for having me. Always a pleasure. Never a chore. Of course. All right, we'll see you soon. Have fun, dude. Good to see you, man. [1:13:24] Thank you, thank you. [1:13:27] You say Coke, I say Cain, you say John, I say Wayne, hot dog, I say Gula man, I don't want to be the president of America, I say smile, I say cheese, got a egg, I say please, I say