#2523 - Ali Siddiq

[00:00] the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan podcast by night all day what's happening what's happening good to see you same we were just talking sorry i had a pause jamie before the podcast so you were telling me that lebron james is [00:24] Not going to go back to the Lakers. How old is he now? [00:29] One. [00:30] 41. Yeah. What is the oldest that an elite athlete has been? Tom Brady's 44, I think. [00:37] NFL QB, that'd be pretty... [00:39] High up there? Howls was... Howls was... [00:42] was Kareem. That's a good question. How was Kareem when he retired? Bernard Hopkins, I think, would be the next. Bernard Hopkins is number one. Yeah, Bernard Hopkins. We were talking about how he beat Kelly Pavlich at... [00:53] Forty-two. [00:54] But Bernard had a couple of years to... [00:57] incubate a little bit. Oh, yeah. You know about that. Yeah. Not take damage and steal up the mind. [01:07] He had the most intense discipline. That guy never got out of shape, which is also a giant contributor to longevity. Never was building back. He wasn't like a 42-year-old who was like, he took six months off. I haven't been in the gym. No, no, no. Every day, it was running, nutrition. Everything was always on point. [01:28] Never buried. Kareem was like 42, I think. So he might be the oldest of the past guys. But this was before all the science, right? Yeah, the science changes things. The science. So we were just talking about the science.

[01:42] So, Jamie, what are they allowed to take and not allowed to take? I don't know. [01:46] It's like the NBA used to, like, I think for, like, weed stuff, they used to say that they'd get tested, I think, October 1st, which is, like, right when preseason starts. For weed? Yeah. And so, like, as long as you were clean on October 1st, then you're good because they wouldn't test the rest of the year. That's ridiculous. But now, like, I know in the NFL, if you have a crazy game, you're going to get tested the next day. They're just going to check you for weed. [02:10] what was going on with you yesterday. Yeah, why would you play good? [02:14] Ridiculous. I don't think the NBA does that specifically, but I don't know, honestly. So what are the rules in the NBA in terms of marijuana now? I thought that was part of the thing that they negotiated in the contract to make sure, because a lot of players like to be high when they play. [02:29] I think they might just have just stopped testing for it as well. [02:32] I wanted to mention names. [02:34] But I'm friends with some guys, and they tell me they can't play unless they're high. [02:39] That's the same thing with pool players. I know a lot of pool players. They like to get lit before they get on the table. Yeah, pool shit. You should be lit playing pool. Yeah, you feel things better. [02:51] Here we go. NBA can randomly drug test each player up to four times during the season and two times in the offseason with additional tests allowed anytime there is reasonable cause. But marijuana is no longer part of the standard testing panel. Yes, sir. Yeah, so they can smoke weed, which makes sense. Let them. It's not. What are you doing? [03:09] It's not hurting anybody, and they play better with it.

[03:12] I think leave him alone. That's what I think. [03:15] Unless they're doing meth. Unless they're doing, you know what I mean? They also had another big betting scandal that's kind of broken recently in the last 24 hours there. Oh, no. Where a player has been called out for throwing at least four games. [03:32] Oh, no. [03:32] And then where that's going to go from here is kind of being speculated online. I'll tell you where that goes. [03:38] If people find out, it goes to bullets. [03:41] That's the problem. The problem with someone throwing a game is somebody bet on that fucking game. [03:45] A lot of people bet on that game. The two cases I've seen, though, are like... [03:49] the over so like they had player props and like he needed 4.5 rebounds and he has four and he's just trying extremely extremely extremely hard to get that extra rebound [03:58] Which is like, no, that's wrong. Wait a minute. That's not that bad. That means he's playing well. And the other one, which was he was fixing a spread in the last second. He sprinted down the court to get an extra basket with three seconds on the clock when they were down by ten. [04:11] or seven technically. [04:13] to beat the eight and a half point spread. [04:15] Yeah, but so what? He's just scoring. How can you ever? It's just when you watch basketball enough, you go, like, that doesn't happen that often. Why would you do that? That's gross. Yeah, especially. You're used to people throwing the ball and just throwing it down there, not you running down. I know, but if you can do it and score, why wouldn't you do it? I don't even understand why anybody would question that. You're down by 10. It's five seconds to go. The game is over. Fuck you. I want that ball in the net. Fuck you. Man. Woof.

[04:45] So... [04:45] But why? Because that's not going to change. Oh, we lost by eight. Well, it just means you're competitive to the end. You never give up, even though you know you're losing. And no starters on the floor at this time. You down by 10, it's five seconds to go. No starters on the floor. Yeah, but it's not like he's missing on purpose. So it's one thing if the guy's missing on purpose, but if he's scoring on purpose, leave him the fuck alone. All right, so similar thing. [05:15] like two, three nights ago, where... [05:18] They just got into the knockout round, you know, so the big tournament was every team plays three games to figure out where you end up to play the next part of the tournament. Ten teams get eliminated. Uh-huh. [05:29] third place team for the first time ever can make it through. And so there was a, I think it was Algeria and I forget the other team. Sorry, but, [05:37] if they both tied... [05:39] They both moved through. [05:40] If one team wins and one team loses, one team goes through. [05:43] And then the, like... [05:45] With four minutes to go in the game... [05:47] They're kind of just passing the ball around. The score is tied, and one team goes ahead and scores. [05:51] And it kind of starts a fight on the field where you see the other team yelling at the other team like, [05:56] Fuck you. Like, I don't know exactly what they're saying, but, like, what? And then with, like, two minutes to go, the other team sort of just stops playing defense and kind of seems to, like, let them score. Oh, God. It's like, I don't know if it's a big collusion or if they just sort of, like, made an agreement. [06:14] Don't they have mics on those guys? It's such a crazy. They have to have mics on somebody. They have strong mics now, and they have people that can lip read.

[06:26] Leave this a tie. If that happens, you can't play anymore, right? What happens to those guys? They have to get suspended for... That'd be both teams, the coaches. It'd be everybody. I don't know. Oh, my God. I don't really know how it's going to pan out, but it was very... What a conundrum. Yeah. [06:42] How could you do that? [06:44] I hate that. This is what I don't like about sports betting. Not that, because that's about advancing. But about sports betting is even the consideration that a person is playing a certain way because they're worried about a spread or because they've been paid off to not score or they've been paid off to foul. [07:04] You know, like there's the problem with these things is you could bet on anything. You can bet on anything. Anything. [07:11] Anything. So if you're a crooked and what has been like the most crooked aspect of the fucking human race over the past like 100 years, other than the legal system, the most crooked aspect has been sports betting. It's always crooked. Sports and politics. Politics. They damn near. They're all the same. Yeah, they're the same. It's the same. It's money. [07:34] and decisions can be shifted, influence can be used to make something happen. But it seems like that with most things that [07:43] people you know have some type of [07:47] you know, hierarchy desire for. They- 100%. They gonna put something in. [07:53] Even with awards. This is a. Who can promote.

[07:59] the best and who can if you can take all the [08:03] people [08:04] that vote to dinner. [08:07] and, you know, smuse them at dinner. It's gonna be a... [08:13] a thing where who's going to beat you when you have all the voters. Right. Or you have a situation where you have people that work for your company that can vote. [08:23] How are you not going to vote for the project that the company put out? [08:28] we got 60 voters we at least got 60 votes [08:34] This episode is brought to you by the farmer's dog. Here's a fun fact. Research shows that dogs who maintain a healthy weight can live up to two and a half years longer on average than dogs who are overweight. Isn't that wild and also kind of obvious at the same time? So why is feeding vague scoops of ultra processed kibble still the status quo for most dog owners? Healthy alternatives exist and trust me, I know. [09:00] I buy one, the Farmer's Dog. I use it for both my dogs. They love it. They eat it up quick. It smells good to them. It smells good to me. It's human-grade food. The Farmer's Dog makes fresh food for dogs, and my dogs love it. Their recipes are made with real meat and fresh vegetables that are gently cooked to retain vital nutrients. They also portion out the meals to your dog's nutritional needs, which helps avoid overfeeding and makes weight management easier and isn't getting more time.

[09:30] best friends something every dog owner wants the answer to that is [09:35] is yes, obviously. So try the farmer's dog today and get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food. [09:44] Plus, get free shipping. Just go to thefarmersdog.com slash rogan. This offer is for new customers only. This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. Identity theft costs more than you think. That's why LifeLock is backed by the million dollar protection package, which covers up to three million dollars for the most comprehensive plan. [10:14] or need coverage for lost wages because work also had to take a backseat, LifeLock has your back. Plus, there's coverage if you need to pay fees for lawyers and experts to resolve your case. Don't face the burden of identity theft alone. Protect your future and finances with LifeLock. Visit LifeLock.com slash JRE and save up to 30% your first year. That's LifeLock.com slash JRE for 30% off. Terms apply. [10:43] I think you said it best when you said the hierarchy. [10:46] That's really what it is. It's in anything that has any kind of a hierarchy. [10:49] Politics is the ultimate example. Politics is the ultimate example. But there's that hierarchy shit in everything in the world. [10:58] Everything. [10:59] And trips people up. But with politics...

[11:02] it is a little more detrimental than with sports. You know, sports is, you know, you gambling, people trying to win things, but with... [11:10] politics is like [11:13] if you're not [11:15] Somebody that's not qualified [11:18] can... [11:19] be in a position where... [11:21] You know, they they make a decision on on the masses of people's lives. Not just that they can appoint judges. [11:27] Which is negative point crazy judges like this. Obviously judges like they have disputes. Well, why do they have disputes? Because they're ideologically captured on both sides. There's people that are like, you know, like certain right wing judges, you throw some case out there that's a right wing case. [11:44] abortion rights, whatever it is, immigration, you know how they're going to vote. Same thing with left-wing people. Like hardcore left-wing people, you guarantee trans women in sports, trans women are women. [11:55] Let him play in sports. That was a recent Supreme Court order. Three judges... [11:59] said that trans women should be able to play in women's sport. The rest of them said, fuck no. [12:04] The other six? [12:05] Canceled it out, luckily. And, you know, those people are not taking into account [12:10] the sport like it's a it's a difference if you uh was originally something and now you playing something else your strength is different everything and you know you don't feel that until your daughter getting knocked out the ring when she's supposed to be boxing somebody that that's the same gender then now she's her whole side her face broke from you know it's insane it's insane it's and it's not cruel to not let that happen in sports that's what title nine is

[12:40] In an equal time as men. That's a good thing. [12:45] Having men that think they're women play with women is fucking crazy. It doesn't mean you need to cast those people out of society. It doesn't mean anything. Live and let live. I agree. [12:56] But get the fuck out of the women's room. You have a dick. Get the fuck off the team. You're running track at a literal women's Olympic level, and you're 15. [13:08] Why? Because you have a dick. This is crazy. You're not really a girl. This is nuts. You know, that's the world we live in. I'm not even going to say that's the world we live in. That's the world that's being presented to us at this point. That's right. [13:23] You know, there's a lot of things like this, man. You... [13:26] This is why in comedy... [13:29] I choose not to go the... [13:32] current, the current affair or the political route. Because I don't have time to separate the room. I'm too busy trying to do things to bring the room together. And that's, I [13:43] more of a writer's aim for me. [13:46] Well, you – I said this before, so I'll say it live publicly. What you've done is very extraordinary because you've made a giant following online completely organically. It's very inspiring because all you do is just do your thing the best that you can and put it out there, and it just keeps growing. It's amazing. I appreciate it. It's very cool. It's very inspirational, and it's – you should be proud of it because –

[14:11] What you've done, like I said, it's totally organic. You don't have a bunch of production companies pushing you and trying to make you more popular than you are. No, it's all just – [14:22] putting it out there and getting this gigantic following just from your work, just the work. Appreciate it. And then, you know, even with that, you still have. [14:32] Um... [14:33] some type of responsibility to [14:36] not see things the same as other people. Like, I just got all this flack about... [14:43] me talking about the [14:45] how this business of people inflating things [14:48] has caused depression in comics you know that we supposed to be a happy craft but now it's this big push about if you're not on social media you're not on this you're not on that a lot of these comics are [15:02] you know, going through this mental health thing where they always sad about their numbers, you know, or this and that. They're like, yo, man, it is a it's a thing. And some people inflate things and everybody wants to be on the same level. [15:19] Sometimes you... [15:21] You can't be... [15:23] but people look at it as a certain way where when you're proud of the steps that you've taken and [15:31] If I played in the G League, that's not the NBA. [15:35] So I wouldn't say that I was playing. I played in the league because I know what the league means. I know, you know, I know this is the G League. But when I present myself, yo, you know, I play in the league. People automatically think the NBA, you know, it's not it's not the G League is not knocking the G League. But that's not the first thing that comes to my mind. You know,

[15:57] You know, it's just a... [16:00] Playing for the Washington Generals is not the NBA. [16:04] Even though you played against the Globetrotters, they were great players. But we know how this game goes. But that's how people see things now. [16:13] Well, the number thing is real. The numbers thing is a real problem with people because it gives you a quantifiable measure of whether or not you're doing well. [16:23] And if you already have anxiety, which a lot of comedians have, you're already like... [16:28] socially awkward, which a lot of comedians are. You don't feel accepted, which [16:31] That's how a lot of comedians feel. And then you look at those numbers. [16:34] You know, like 2,400. [16:36] I only have 2,400 followers? [16:38] I've been doing comedy for seven years. Why do I only have 2,400 followers? And then you go to someone's page that you've never even heard of, and they have 1.2 million. You're like, what the fuck? And so this is about... [16:49] about being... [16:51] grateful in the position that you you're in i remember when they would [16:56] People were pushing me, how you need to get on the internet, you need to be on social media. Okay. [17:01] But I would see those people that had all those followers. [17:04] And that same year... [17:06] The year before that, I did a half hour special with Comedy Central. [17:10] Then, year 2018, I did a full hour special with Comic Central. [17:16] 500 followers on Instagram. I had 300 followers, 300 subscribers on YouTube on a page that I didn't own. I had to fight to get this page. I had less people on Facebook.

[17:33] but I was efficient in what I was doing. [17:36] So the numbers didn't. [17:38] they didn't pick me because i had these numbers they they picked me because [17:42] I came and I did what I did. And then they, oh, he's great. So then we started... [17:49] going, you know, a route to build it up, but we were already getting things prior to the numbers. Right. What year is this again? This is 17 and 18. Okay. So the difference is that in 17 and 18, people were just starting to be aware of [18:06] of the power of social media, and then they were really – [18:10] concentrating on different comics that had a large social media following. [18:15] You know, I think that was like right when it first started happening. Dane Cook had blew up before that. That was it. Yeah, that was a MySpace. That was a MySpace thing. Yeah. Internet. Another Internet thing. That's true. That was different. But the difference is, like, he had gotten so huge just from that that he was already doing, like, arenas. Yeah. [18:33] So he was already huge, and then they just went with him. But he was super popular. Now it's super popular on social media. It's one of the most important things. [18:44] so now moving up to this because I have a strong arm with this so [18:49] I have a million followers here, a million followers there, all these specials. I still didn't get invited to the BET Awards. [18:57] I still don't get invited to a bunch of things. I still get looked over for things, even though I have numbers of success. But I don't worry about it. I'm just in my I'm not watching.

[19:07] to judge myself against what somebody else is doing. It's guys who have less everything, but they're in this round where they had everything. I see guys as that everything with no [19:21] um with no specials and no proven thing they just around and i'm like okay but it's i'm not i think the point that i'm not judging myself up against [19:33] what somebody is doing socially but that's also easier when you're successful and you're successful you're very successful so the difference is like when you sell out these shows and you put out these specials like I've seen your specials have millions of views [19:47] So it's like, obviously, you have a following. If you didn't... [19:51] and you were doing the same thing, then it would be a problem. But then also, it's like... [19:56] Comedy in a lot of ways, not always, but in a lot of ways is a meritocracy. [20:01] If you're good, [20:02] People will come. It's that simple. [20:04] Fight Night is here. Title shots, debut killers, and the rising contender nobody's talking about yet, and only DraftKings has you covered every step of the way. The DraftKings app is now available in all 50 states and includes all markets, bringing the game straight to your fingertips wherever you are. No matter where you're watching, you're always connected and in the game with one app. [20:34] With Code Rogan, spend $5 to get $200 in rewards within 21 days. That's Code Rogan in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours.

[21:04] bets that expire in seven days. Trade to get $50 in predictions dollars that expire in one year. Issued every seven days via click to claim for 21 days. One non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Predictions offer void in New York. Ends July 19th. Terms at dkng.co slash audio. [21:19] but I also have no desire [21:22] to [21:23] inflate. [21:25] things and compare myself [21:28] to some mile i'll make myself seem like [21:31] I'm more than what it is. Like, guys are, hey, man, I got... I'm at this room. I got... [21:37] 50 tickets all. [21:39] Okay. [21:41] how much the room seat [21:42] On the room, C300. [21:44] Okay, cool. [21:45] You have 50 people more [21:47] than if you didn't play the role. [21:50] Who knows you in Utah? It's a building thing. I got all of this going on. But if I go to Utah... [22:01] I'm in a comedy club. [22:04] It doesn't matter what happened the night before. I was just in the arena. But in Utah, it's like it takes me back to on trading places. He said, hey, man, this is he gave he gives all this elaborate what this watch is. And that man said, this is what this calls a St. Louis. I don't care about you. Ponding the watch. Right. And so I don't have. [22:27] that and i'm not if i it's like you you you own a club [22:31] OK, it's guys that can come to your club and sell your club out.

[22:36] And then it's guys that come in the club and you pay for the room. [22:40] Okay? Then these guys... [22:42] like when you're in the theater, you can scale a theater down. Some theaters hold 4,600 people, but you can scale it down to 2,000, but then... [22:53] The... [22:54] I'm not going to say if the room holds [22:57] $4,600. [22:59] I put 2,000 tickets on sale. I didn't sell out. [23:04] The theater. [23:06] I sold what I put on sale because I'm not to the point where I can get the $4,600 yet. If I could sell the room out, then I would need to relish the real accomplishment versus the lesser accomplishment. Inflating. Yeah. [23:22] And that's [23:23] And because I don't have this thing where I'm in competition with what happened before me. You know, so with other people. So I'm in San Antonio. We at we at the theater. And because people can make you feel bad about anything. If you if you a person that feels bad, just think. [23:45] Um... [23:46] Minnesota [23:48] It's all these people that's on the team. [23:51] that play for the Boston Celtics that are millionaires. They're already millionaires. They play in the league. [23:57] Boston traded. [23:59] seven people [24:01] to Minnesota [24:02] for one person. [24:05] Kevin Garnett.

[24:07] They got rid of seven human beings for one person. [24:11] So it's like if I was a person that felt bad about my career, this would make me feel bad. Like they they like the first person that they ask, oh, I'm a trade this person for that. Like, no. [24:23] Well, I'm going to give you two more people. They're like, no. [24:25] I'm going to give you four more people. [24:28] Okay. [24:29] And a lottery pick. [24:32] Okay, I'm going to feel horrible. They traded me for seven people. Y'all don't even want me. [24:37] Realistically, so Boston went, they got Kevin Garnett. [24:42] I mean, yeah, Kevin Gornett and seven other millionaires. They got all this money. They got all this. They went to. [24:51] Minutes out. [24:52] He was saying, so [24:54] if somebody wanted to make you feel bad about something, [24:57] They could if that's how you are. So I'm in San Antonio. The line is around the block. [25:05] The place is sold out. [25:08] sell out no matter who comes as solar that lady said to my face tomorrow you should have saw it when matt rife came [25:13] I was like in my mind I was like and I asked I said was it a different theater she said no same theater [25:23] So when Matt Rife came, he sold it out. I sold out two nights. I mean, two days in the same night. But her thing was, you should have saw it when Matt Rife came. [25:34] I was like, okay. She probably wanted you to feel bad. I was like, but I'm not. Good for you. Good for you. But the thing is, a lot of people would. That's what it is. A lot of people are in competition with other people. I think you should be inspired by other people. If you want to compete in that way, be inspired. But the moment you turn it into a negative, it's like, you're a fool. You're being a fool. Compete in charity. Also,

[25:57] Inspiration is power. It's fuel. [26:00] If you see someone doing well, so you see someone set and you like it, that's fuel that makes you want to go work, makes you want to get some shit done. It makes you – it gives you energy. Or it could cripple you if you're a dummy. If you're a dummy and you get angry and you get bitter and then you just put all this negativity on the person who's doing better than you, which a lot of people do. [26:22] That's a weird – that's a weird dynamics in this business when you know that – [26:27] It's going to be people, no matter what you're doing. [26:31] There's gonna be somebody [26:33] doing better than you. When I was in comedy clubs [26:38] I remember being there and they were paper in the room. [26:41] Thank you. [26:42] Okay. [26:43] I wasn't saying I was selling out. They was paying her. [26:47] Out of all, it's 300 people in here. [26:50] 240 of these people came because it was freezing. They sent out their email blast. But then what I looked at was... [27:00] They wanted to come yeah, they want to come they're probably comedy fans Which is why they're on the email list in the first place and then those people you give them a great show They'll come back then the next time I came I [27:12] They didn't pay for the room. They sold the tickets. That's how it used to be, man. That was the old days before social media. You would build a market. [27:20] So you just show up at Philadelphia once a year. Show up. [27:23] Do your homework. Make sure you've got a tight set. You've been practicing. You're ready to rock. Fuck these people up and then leave. And then they're like, can't wait until you guys are back again. And then next time you come back, you know. All right. I've built an audience now. I can't disappoint these people. I've got to get fired up. And that's what it used to be. It used to be a totally organic thing across the whole country.

[27:46] Is it a difference, in your opinion, between me bringing... [27:52] my audience [27:54] to a [27:56] venue from whatever other thing that I do versus [28:00] people coming that don't know anything about me [28:04] and me winning. [28:06] that person over [28:08] versus the person that already knows you. Yeah, it's a different thing. People are coming to see you specifically. You've already won them over. It's a different thing. Or they want to take a chance on you. That's a different thing because I've heard about you. But when [28:19] you know [28:20] that's a completely different thing because that's your you have an audience now you have fans and [28:26] When you are just performing at a club and it's a papered room, you have an opportunity. [28:31] You have an opportunity to turn these people into fans. You have an opportunity to give these people a great night and have a good time. And also you're doing your fucking thing, which is the most important thing of all. Everybody is results-oriented. I try to be process-oriented. With everything I do, I'm process-oriented. I think about there's a goal that you've got to reach, but how do you get to that goal? The way you get there is not thinking about the goal. The way you get there is thinking about what you're doing. What's the process? [29:01] Writing bits, performing them, tweaking them, getting them tight, knowing, reviewing tapes, going over your material, going over your writing, talking with friends. And then every day it gets a little bigger. Every day it gets a little better. Every day that knife gets a little sharper. That's the process. That's the process that leads you to become whoever, whoever you are. And then you add other little pieces in that process. I remember I –

[29:28] I was talking to Bobby Lee and me and Bobby Lee talking. I said, Bobby, you don't realize where you met me at. [29:35] and he's like [29:36] well is this a good is this going to be a good story is a bad story a lot of bad stories i said you you you met me at um [29:44] at the Houston Improv [29:46] And they call me and ask me did I want to host. A room that I already sell out [29:52] They asked me if I wanted to host. I said cool. [29:55] So I came [29:57] And I hosted [29:58] And I was... [30:00] not trying to, but I was destroying his feature. [30:04] I'm just hosting. We should not be hosting, especially at the Houston Improv. But my thing was, this was years ago. But I say, Bobby, you didn't understand. When I was hosting at the Houston Improv, [30:19] I was doing something [30:21] that most people didn't understand what I why I was even doing it well like what and they would see like why would you be hosting? [30:27] I said, because I'm not going to be in front of Bobby Lee's audience. [30:30] but it's people that live in houston right that his audience that i have no i have no idea who i am right i said bobby but before you [30:38] I say I was coming to the Houston Improv hosting for multiple people, and I was... [30:45] just winning over [30:47] fans that would never had seen me if they wasn't coming to see you they wouldn't be coming to my show i said so before that it was you were last bobby it was you in the week prior to that it was monster brownie

[31:01] prior to that was um was my girl um [31:06] Angela Johnson [31:09] And before that, it was... [31:12] Some [31:13] random white guy. I said, I just came and I want to do, I'm a comic. So me hosting was no big deal. I wasn't working. So I said, well, let me just come host it. That's what they want me to do. So, [31:27] I gained fans from four different audiences. [31:31] in a month. [31:32] So when I came back, they was like, yo, I saw you with Miles Gibranee. And so I came back. I came back to see you. [31:39] when you put your show up. I'm like, cool. So my process, that was a part of my process. It didn't matter who I hosted for. And I was like, okay, cool. You know, let me go like when I hosted for Bill Burr. [31:55] Bill Burr was like... [31:57] This is crazy. We in Austin at the Paramount. And I said, the worst thing about this was that at the time I was wearing all black. [32:06] And I went to the show and when I walked on stage, the first thing I said is, hey, I do not work here. [32:17] Don't like eight people ask me, where's the bathroom? I don't know. I don't work. But it was like, I look like an usher. [32:25] Like, yo, this sucks. But it was a cool gig. That's a smart approach. I mean, that's a great way to build.

[32:33] Especially if you're already headlining. [32:35] Yeah, I think... [32:36] I think that thing about concentrating on the process, people should try to apply that to everything. [32:42] you know, um, [32:44] My friend John Dudley who taught me archery, he's a big believer in that, being process-oriented. He gets better at archery and he used to compete all over the world, travel, compete in archery tournaments. [32:57] I think that applies to everything. I think it applies to music. I think that applies to everything. I think one of the things that trips people up about social media, a lot of these young guys in particular, young people in particular, is that they are thinking about other people and they are comparing themselves to other people and they are looking at those numbers. [33:25] on things that don't empower you and actually kind of fuck your head up. [33:29] Not good for you at all. Instead of saying, wow, [33:32] I am chasing the fucking dream. [33:35] I am out here being a professional comedian, and I have a real chance to develop a real following. If I put my time in, I really care, and I really work hard, I could sell out of theater one day. [33:48] That's possible. Like, that's a goal. Right. [33:51] It should be a goal just like getting your PhD in chemistry or whatever the fuck it is your goal is. [33:56] The process is what's important. [33:58] The process is like appreciating what you're doing, why you're doing it, and just –

[34:03] Bearing down and doing your best. That's it. That's it. And other people, look at them as inspiration. Other people that are kicking ass, don't become a hater. That shit is so bad for you. I know so many dudes who have like hater tendencies and they never excel. Never. It's the counter thinking of an excellent person is a hater. Someone who's always trying to diminish people and downplay people and look at someone in the least charitable way. [34:33] the worst possible way to somehow or another trying to make themselves feel better. But it doesn't work. [34:38] It does the opposite of work. It robs you. It robs you of your self-esteem. It robs you of your self-respect. You're spending so much time thinking about this other dude. Like, why? [34:56] And my dad had all these, these thoughts and he was, [35:00] I literally say he was a crazy man, but when you think about the things that he would say, it made sense. My dad, and why would you be telling me this at the age that, but he just gave them, I think I was like 11, and my dad out of nowhere just said, you know something? [35:15] people spend the same time and money on being fake when they can put that same time and money into being real and I'm like I didn't know I didn't understand what that meant [35:28] But... [35:30] as I got older, [35:32] If you spend any money or time...

[35:36] faking something [35:37] you could probably spend that money and time being real about something. Yeah. You know, why go buy a fake necklace online? [35:47] to act like you rich when you can go buy a real necklace if Zan at some point [35:54] and [35:56] You know, be actually be rich, you know, if that's what you compare it to necklaces. But I just didn't understand it at the time. But then as I got older, I understood, like, why put this why put this time in to pretending when you can. [36:12] put that same energy and then become real at what you do. It makes no sense. My uncle Vinny, [36:18] When I was... [36:19] six or seven years old. [36:21] I was staying at his house with my cousins, and we were supposed to brush our teeth. And I didn't like following rules, period. And so I wouldn't brush my teeth. Instead, I would take toothpaste and smoosh it around on my teeth so that when they smelled my breath, they would smell toothpaste. And my uncle explained to me, he goes... [36:41] He goes, uh... [36:43] I understand why you're doing it. He goes, but the amount of time that you're spending pretending to brush your teeth, you could have just brushed your teeth. [36:51] And I thought about that when I was six. I was like, damn... [36:54] I was just a little kid, but I was like, ah, he's right. [36:57] Why am I faking brushing my hair? I feel like I'm six years old. My uncle Vinny was like super patient, super calm.

[37:08] Out of all my family members, he was the strangest. Out of all these wild, crazy Italian people... [37:14] Like... [37:14] He was he was an artist and he was like very soft-spoken and never got angry about anything. I'd always speak really rationally. I was like, God, he's so smart. It's just so peaceful. He just but he looked the way he laid it out when he didn't say, hey, I know you're not brushing your teeth, you little fuck. It was the time you're spending pretending to brush your teeth. You could have just brushed your teeth. It was like sometimes adults will say something to you like that when you're six. [37:42] And it just gets in your head, and you're like, whoa. [37:45] Okay. That just saved me a whole lot of time. Like, I can just brush them. Just brush your fucking teeth. Stop pretending. Stop faking. It doesn't help anything. It does the opposite. [37:59] This episode is brought to you by Dodge. I recently had the chance to get behind the wheel of the new gas-powered Dodge Charger Scat Pack, and it reminds me how much I love cars that give you an adrenaline rush the second you hit the gas. First thing that got me was the sound of the performance exhaust. It sounds awesome. Paired with a twin-turbo, six-pack gas engine. Mind-blowing. I love cars that sound like that. And then I tried launch control. It's fantastic. [38:29] horsepower, then goes from 0 to 60 in 3.9 seconds with a top speed of 177 miles an hour. [38:37] And it's comfortable.

[38:38] It's nice to drive. Another cool thing, you don't have to choose between control and performance. You've got all-wheel drive when you want the grip, but you can switch it to rear-wheel mode and just have fun with it. Totally get why people are so excited about this car. I loved it. Check out the new Dodge Charger Scat Pack. Learn more at Dodge.com. Dodge is a registered trademark of FCA US LLC. This episode is brought to you by Visible. It's officially summer, folks, and boy, what a summer we are having. [39:08] Good old-fashioned summers where you just want to enjoy every moment and keep up with the action. Your best companion this summer? Visible Wireless. Visible gives you unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon for just $25 a month. So you can make this the summer of fun and savings. Visible is more than just a wireless plan. It's unlimited wireless designed to always keep you connected with no contract to tie you down. [39:38] Switch today at Visible.com, plan start at $25 a month, or get our premium Visible Plus Pro plan and save $10 on your first month when you use promo code ROGAN. Terms apply. See Visible.com for plan features and network management details. That is the opposite. And, you know, people... [40:00] the truth sometimes is, is, [40:03] hurtful to people. The truth doesn't feel good. [40:07] you know. [40:08] to a lot of people, unfortunately.

[40:11] You know, you have to look at it. [40:13] You have to have perspective. But that's the ultimate hate right there. That's the ultimate hate is for me to give you a falsehood instead of tell you the truth. Right. That's the ultimate. It's the ultimate hate. Especially if you're making up a background for yourself. [40:30] You're making up a story about your life that's not true. [40:34] You're pretending you're somewhere in life that you're not. You know? Yo, man, just do the thing. [40:40] Just do the thing. [40:41] Yeah, but it's hard for people. It's hard for people. And then there's a lot of people that think you just fake it until you make it. And then you hear stories. This guy, I had $500 in my bank account, but I told him I got this. I got that loan. And next thing you know, my business is making all this money. And you go, wow, he faked it until he made it. And it worked. And you think it's going to work. It doesn't work most of the time. So few and far between them. Then they never tell you that that guy goes to jail later for fraud. Yes, 100%. [41:11] What's that? The feds busted my house three years later and took everything. You're like, "Yo, okay." Exactly. Like when they arrested Carlos Mencia recently for all those counts of tax fraud. I was like, "Okay." [41:23] Thank you. [41:24] I don't want that to happen to him, but... [41:26] There it is. [41:31] Right? I mean, that's what it is. I'm not laughing at Carlos. I'm just laughing at the fact that you're like, yeah, when they bust his car. [41:40] I mean, it didn't bring me any joy to see that. I don't like anybody getting arrested for taxes. I think –

[41:46] I think taxes... [41:48] Until they have an accurate account of where the fucking money goes. And until you completely eliminate all fraud and waste... [41:59] What the fuck are you doing locking people up for not paying taxes? Like, you guys should get locked up for not doing a good job with our money. So what do you think about all the new purchases and redoing the White House and all this with tax dollars? Did they do it with tax dollars? How much money did they spend in tax dollars to do the ballroom? [42:22] Let's find out. What's that? They need a ballroom, though. That's how that guy snuck in with a gun because they tried to do that White House correspondence dinner in a hotel. That dude who got arrested a few months back. What's this resolution? [42:38] pool something full of algae right now. Yeah, I don't know about that. That's something about making the pool look nice. That but whatever that is reflecting pool. Yeah, the reflect reports indicate the new White House East Wing ballroom is projected to cost about 600 million with roughly half just over 300 million coming from taxpayer funded government accounts despite earlier promises that it would be taxpayer free. [43:02] Thank you. [43:03] 300 million sounds like a lot until you find out how much money... [43:06] They spend on other things. [43:08] When you find out just how much fraud... [43:11] is in NGOs? How much fraud is in nonprofits? How much fraud is in

[43:18] insider trading and propping up companies so that they can get better deals. [43:23] The whole thing is fraud. The thing is... [43:27] If you're spending... [43:29] I understand how much money goes and other things, but if you're spending any money, [43:34] that... [43:35] that that's my money that I don't know that that [43:38] I need it or that's not really the aim, the goal. You should be able to vote on it. You should be able to vote on it. You should be able to vote on where all your tax money goes. How much tax money is being spilled on getting smart people in places, making smart children? [43:53] That's the big one. That's the thing. The big one is... [43:57] If you look at our country as a community, and that's what we're supposed to be doing. We're supposed to be the United States of America. All that bullshit aside, that was the one good thing that happened about 9-11. When 9-11 happened, after that, we were all united. It was crazy. [44:11] It was crazy. We realized we are actually on a team. So if we're on a team, [44:16] Why do we have [44:17] these deeply impoverished neighborhoods for decades and decades that are riddled with crime and drug abuse. Why? Is it impossible to fix? That's crazy. That's not true. [44:27] It's just no one's tried to fix it. [44:29] No one's done any effort to fix it. And if you did fix it, you want to make America great. [44:34] Here's the best way. [44:36] Less losers. [44:37] And how do you get less losers? More opportunities for people, more opportunities, more support, more education, more everything that you need if that was your neighborhood. And if we did that, we'd have to switch the way our system runs. But that could be done, man. That's the thing. You don't have to have losers, not that many. That's the thing about Make America Great, right? Yeah.

[45:00] If you trying to make anything great, don't you need intelligent people to do that? [45:06] Of course. That's the number one thing. So when we have all these divisive people that's [45:12] on a lower vibration, uh, [45:15] How is that making the country great? [45:20] if we're putting [45:22] people in position to [45:24] that don't have the experience or the education in those, in those things. And then we just saying a bunch of divisive things, you know, you know, it, it, [45:35] It was... [45:36] If I'm watching... [45:38] the extravaganza that happened in the White House. What was the thing Michelle Obama is a man? Like, how did that help [45:45] How did that help? That guy says that every time he but what is the what is the thing? First of all? [45:53] It's... [45:53] It's really divisive because you know that a large portion of the country is going to take this. [45:59] that's gonna have a problem with this [46:00] You know, clearly she's not a man, you know what I'm saying? But it makes no sense. [46:05] to [46:07] I've never seen this many people say so many damaging things about. [46:12] a past president. It's like he's still on the forefront and it's not like [46:17] we have a president that's doing the greatest job for this country, you know, which is which is weird or weird thing to me. And people are going to ask, is that what's the belief? [46:27] That's the real belief of people. [46:29] That's the real thing. Well, listen, there's some crazy people that believe the world is flat.

[46:33] There's a lot of dumb beliefs. There's probably people that do believe Michelle Obama's a man. What that guy does, he's like a pro wrestler. [46:41] Like, he's got a character called the Incredible Hulk. It's very... [46:45] corny in a lot of ways. Sometimes it's cringy, but the point is he gets a lot of attention. [46:52] A lot of attention because of all this. That's what he's doing. So what he's trying to do is maximize the amount of attention that he can get for a very short window of career. This is not how he really feels, how he really thinks. When you talk to him in real life, he's very reasonable. This is an act that he does, like a pro wrestling act. [47:09] But what he can do is fight. He's really good. [47:13] And that's what's so confusing about it all. So you got this guy who's created like this fake persona where he puts on an American flag bandana, comes out the Hulk Hogan music, does all his interviews with sunglasses on, has a bunch of crazy, silly rhymes and says ridiculous shit. Just trying to get attention. The most amount of attention. It is very divisive. Don't get me wrong. But that's by design. So he's Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage in the same person. But an actual fighter. But an actual fighter. A really fucking good one, man. [47:43] Derek Lewis has the most knockouts in the history of the sport Don't do that, Joe Don't do what? Don't say that so excited Because Derek Lewis goes to the same gym Main Street Boxing Gym in Houston I'm very close to that Dude, I love Derek Lewis I don't like the fact that Derek Lewis lost that fight I think Derek of 10 years ago Would have been a real fucking problem for that dude Because Derek of 10 years ago You couldn't hold him down He would just get up

[48:13] To hold Derek Lewis down we just gets a hand on you and just whoop you've his grip they did that UFC grip thing where they test the grip Everybody's like 140 the strong ones are like 160 one night Derek just squeezed it casual to 18 so they were like what the fuck so you see how problematic this was for me you already beat a [48:35] I know my friend. Then you turn around and say he beat a 40 year old Derrick. Yeah, a 40 year old Derrick Lewis didn't turn around and say Michelle Obama's a man. I was like, OK, you know, I know what you're saying. I'm pissed. You're right. But I'm telling you, if you met that dude in real life, you would get it. [48:52] He's just a dude. He's just a guy who is a competitive wrestler, played in the NFL, and he's like, I got to do something. [49:00] to figure out how to get people to pay attention to me because they can't just be fighting. It's not enough. If you look at Conor McGregor, you look at Sugar Sean O'Malley, you look at these guys that have these flamboyant personalities, these big personalities. [49:13] Cassius Clay is the original example. They get an immense amount of attention, and that translates into much more money and much more opportunities. There's no fucking way that guy would have gotten that fight at the White House if he couldn't fight. Because the fight that he had before that, he fought Curtis Blades, who was a top 10 UFC heavyweight, huge wrestler, and they went to war, dude. I mean, he put it on him for three fucking rounds. Like, Curtis just has an insane heart and survived it. [49:43] But just that alone is not enough. You've got to get attention. I don't agree with it. I wouldn't do it. It's not my thing. I don't like it.

[49:51] Right. But I get it. And it's smart with Muhammad Ali, though. [49:55] he was very respectful in his, in his, [49:58] in his act. [49:59] to get attention. No, he wasn't. I mean, he wasn't with other people, but he would show up at fucking Sonny Liston's house and scream about him on his fucking front lawn at four in the morning. He did wild, crazy shit. He did a lot of... He was just all about getting your heart rate up, getting your emotions in there. He was so fucking smart. He knew before everybody that you could just get somebody into a frenzy [50:29] around fighting you and I can't let this guy beat me in the fear of losing he's gonna keep you weak it's gonna keep you you're not gonna be able to eat as much food you're gonna feel nervous but you see what happened when somebody called him Cassius Clay [50:42] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Who was that? What fighter was that? He kept punishing him. But that didn't work out for him. He beat the piss out of him. He carried him. He carried him while he was beating his ass. [50:58] Dude, he was a special, special guy. I'm not comparing him in terms of his cultural significance to Josh Hokett because my parents, my mother and my stepfather were hippies. They never watched fighting. [51:12] But when he had a rematch with Leon Spinks, that's how much of a cultural figure he was. [51:17] They wanted him to beat Leon Spanx. Oh, my God. He's got to win. He's got to win. Hippies sitting in front of the fucking TV in like 1970, whatever it was. How crazy is they have Italian hippies?

[51:31] Because I heard it. It was like my family. I thought they were Italian. Italian hippies. Well, they were hippies, but my grandmother went to jail for running numbers for the mob. So it's like there was a lot of. Okay. There was a lot of. [51:47] Real Italian. A lot of dynamics. Yeah. Grandma went away for a little bit. She wouldn't rat him out, so she did some time. I was at a show one time and I said, "I'm going to go to the show. [52:00] Where are all the Africans? [52:01] in here and [52:06] this Italian dude [52:07] He's from Sicily. He raised his hand. [52:10] And I said... [52:12] And the people were like, why is he raising hands? I'm like, he knows. [52:16] he knows he knows yeah there's a really good reason why Sicilians have darker hair curly hair darker skin and that's all I said he knows and people who got it they was like [52:34] and at that point it's like when people don't know that you have some sort of level of intelligence and he's like oh okay yeah [52:47] It's a big thing, but that's funny, though. Italian hippies. But my brother also. Well, yeah, there was a lot of hippies back then, man. And I think the original idea behind it was great. [52:58] I was just watching this thing today about the CIA and LSD and what they did. It was really funny, man. It was a – That video? Yeah, that cute animal day. I saw it too. Isn't that dope? Yeah. See if you can find it. Put it up because it's kind of cool. There's conveniently an MKUltra hearing going on right now in the –

[53:13] Oh, how convenient. Listen, bro, I got it right here. Jamie, I'll send it to you. They 100% are still doing that. No ifs, ands, or buts. If you think they did that in the 60s and they 100% did, if they're doing mind control experiments on people and they're influencing people's opinions, and half of the reason why people are at odds with each other all day long online is probably government intervention at one point or some government's intervention. [53:43] and [53:44] This is wild. [53:45] The CIA created the hippie movement. And your mom's favorite band probably helped them. In the 1950s, the CIA bought up the world's supply of LSD. [53:54] They brought it to the pharmaceutical company Eli Lilly, who reverse engineered it, giving them an unlimited supply and a complete monopoly. [54:01] Then the testing started. One early volunteer for these tests was Ken Kesey. Kesey wrote a book inspired by this experience, which became a bestseller. Then Kesey went on to host events. [54:11] which he called acid tests. [54:13] And he wasn't charging anyone. He just wanted people to show up and do acid. [54:18] For these events, he hired an unknown house band called The Grateful Dead. These events became wildly popular, and with them rose the popularity of the band. So The Grateful Dead begins touring, and Kesey follows them around in a bus from show to show, and everywhere he went, he brought a vat full of Kool-Aid laced with LSD. This guy had a seemingly endless supply, exporting the hippie culture all around the U.S. Meanwhile, the CIA is flooding college campuses with LSD under the guise of research, and The Grateful Dead was just one of many bands in this movement.

[54:48] in Laurel Canyon came a wave of musicians with something in common. They were all children of high ranking military officials. [54:54] The biggest names in music. Jim Morrison of the Doors was the son of an admiral. Frank Zappa's father was a chemical warfare specialist. [55:01] Even Crosby, Stills, and Nash. Yeah, all three of them. And all of these bands as well. The theory is the CIA orchestrated the hippie movement to steer a very real anti-war movement into something a little easier to combat. [55:14] "Dissent Without Teeth." The hippie slogan was literally "Turn on!" [55:18] Tune in. [55:20] and drop out. - In other words, do acid and remove yourself from society. [55:25] And a lot of them did drop out of society to go live in communes in the woods. [55:29] This intersection between hippie culture and the CIA could all be a great big coincidence. [55:34] Maybe military brats naturally want to rebel. [55:38] And maybe the CIA was giving away acid because they're chill like that. Maybe the CIA created the hippie movement and your mom's favorite band probably helped them. Yeah. [55:47] Yeah. [55:48] Isn't that wild? That's crazy. That's wild. [55:51] They also had a big influence on gangster rap. [55:54] Big influence on promoting gangster rap. Oh, for sure. A hundred percent proven. One hundred percent. A hundred percent. Yeah. They wanted to fill prisons. You want to push that over... [56:04] anything else, you know, because we can look at how rap music [56:07] changed in yes change you know 1992 [56:11] Yeah. After 1992, they was like, no more positive... [56:15] rap. Well, it was whenever Straight Outta Compton came out, because I was in Boston at the time. I remember to the day it happened. But Straight Outta Compton wasn't

[56:26] a... [56:27] drug field induced. It was if you look at some of the songs, you look at a lot of the songs that was on an album. [56:33] It was... [56:34] rebellious songs against [56:37] the system. Fuck the police. And then... [56:40] 1992, man, when they decided, yo, we don't want no more De La Soul. We don't want no more Tribe Called Quest. We don't want no, you get them leather medallions out of your... It's like, yo, we need... We need... Like, yo, man, what's like, self-destruction... [57:00] And West Coast All-Stars, they was like, what? [57:05] They coming together? Hell no. You know, we need this to be divisive. We need them to separate collectively. [57:12] And that's crazy that... [57:15] The biggest times that I've experienced this country being together. [57:19] was the Olympics... [57:21] When the Dream Team came, 9-11 and COVID. [57:28] That's the biggest time that we the three biggest times I've ever even seen us together. [57:32] Yeah, because we need something. We need something that's real. [57:37] We need some sort of an event that makes us realize that. [57:40] First of all, the fragility of life. That's important. And we have to realize that we're all supposed to be a part of a team. [57:47] and and [57:50] We you can't play on a team. [57:52] if your teammates don't think that you valuable. Not only that, you can't play on a team if your teammates are poisoning you.

[57:58] If your teammates are allowing you to eat rotten food so that you can't play and maybe giving you inferior gear on purpose and maybe keeping you in a place where you can't get sleep so that you're not going to evolve. You're always going to be tired. You're going to be fatigued. So you're never going to get better at whatever the fuck it is you're doing. [58:17] You're never going to advance in life. You're going to be tired. You're going to be on drugs. You're going to be poor. This episode is brought to you by Armra. Every week there's some new wellness hack that people swear by. And after a while, you start thinking – [58:30] Why do we think we can just outsmart our bodies? [58:34] That's why Armra colostrum caught my attention. It's something the body already recognizes and has hundreds of these specialized nutrients for gut stuff, immunity, metabolism, etc. I first noticed it working around training, especially workout recovery. Most stuff falls off, but I am still taking this. If you want to try, Armra is offering my listeners 30% off plus two free gifts. Go to armra.com slash Rogan. This is how I see. [59:04] is how I see with parenting. [59:07] It's hard to parent if your number one goal is survival. [59:11] Right. [59:12] It's hard to parent, right? You know, you got a parent from a... [59:17] comfortable space you can't parent from nervous chickens really don't lay eggs [59:22] That's true. [59:24] The thing is... [59:26] You... [59:27] The way I parent now versus how my mom... My mom was strictly survival. So my thing is survival first. Then the rest of it. I don't remember going to...

[59:41] um... [59:42] on vacation. [59:44] with my parents. [59:45] You know, like vacation. [59:47] What? [59:48] You know why I'm working two jobs and going to school trying to better, she's just taking care of you. So I'm not in the position, my kids. [59:57] Going vacation. [59:59] You know, it's different. [1:00:00] You know, so... [1:00:02] I see things from both sides, right? [1:00:06] all the time because I'm in that which makes me grateful I'm grateful that I can do the things I can do with my family and saying versus [1:00:15] parenting from a place of frustration you know but i understand [1:00:19] Thank you. [1:00:20] This... [1:00:22] this frustration thing you know i'm trying to take care of you and you know and then sometimes i look at my kids like you know something you have it really easy because if i wouldn't have washed them dishes [1:00:32] my mom would have destroyed me. [1:00:35] because her mindset is, hey, I'm trying to take care of y'all. Y'all got the help. [1:00:41] in this you know with me like we have a housekeeper [1:00:45] the housekeeper come in four days out the week and now I'm like [1:00:51] So, [1:00:52] you just got to raise the stuff on the floor [1:00:54] and you're making it hard for the housekeeper. You know, the reason why she's here four days a week is so to make your life easier, but you're adding on. [1:01:03] to by being lazy by being lazy like like i don't there's a balancing act right you want to protect your children [1:01:10] but you don't want them to develop...

[1:01:14] soft. [1:01:15] You want them to be able to take care of their own problems. And you want them to be able to understand the consequences of their actions. So this is like fine line. [1:01:24] of like... [1:01:26] encouragement [1:01:27] and punishment and like... [1:01:30] explaining to them how your life was different. [1:01:34] And you have to appreciate this life. This is very unusual. You're super fortunate. [1:01:39] But I think ultimately what they learn from is how you behave. [1:01:42] That's a giant part of... [1:01:44] of being a parent that people I don't think are totally aware of until you start doing it. That they understand. Whatever the fuck you say is one thing. That's great. What you do is what they really say. And if you're a lazy fucker who's always making excuses, [1:01:58] Your kids are going to not have respect for you. They're going to know like real early on. You're kind of full of shit. This is the craziest thing, though. You know how hard it is to put someone on punishment and then say, hey. [1:02:09] Pac, we going to Cabo. [1:02:12] He's like, am I on punishment? We going to Cabo. You don't get your iPad for 16 hours. [1:02:18] When we get to Cabo, you stay in your room and overlook the ocean. [1:02:24] Watch Netflix. And think about your consequences as you order room service. [1:02:30] You're drinking Coca-Cola, eating French fries. Lamb chops coming to the room. He's like, yo, you on punishment, dude. [1:02:39] you hear the birds chirping and you're looking at the waves it's rough it's a certain part of success

[1:02:53] that [1:02:54] You almost can't [1:02:57] punish because it's like I'm not staying at home [1:03:02] because you don't punch me. See, my mom was... It's just different. It's different. [1:03:09] My mom would go in her room and turn on Knott's Land and the Dynasty, and I'm in my room with no TV, because it was only one TV. It's a TV in every room. It was, I mean, the punishment was, come in here and watch Falcon Crest with me. [1:03:24] What? I don't want to watch no Falcon Crest, and then you start watching Falcon Crest, and now you love it. You're like, so, when is it coming on again? You get addicted to new characters. That's why I like M.A.S.H. [1:03:39] trouble and you watching mash and bonanza and then all of a sudden [1:03:44] You love MASH. I cried when MASH went out. Do you remember the dude who dressed up like a girl in MASH, Jamie Farr? Yeah. He was my neighbor. [1:03:53] I was a neighbor? Yeah. Wow. Back in California. [1:03:56] You live right next door, two houses down. [1:03:59] Wow. [1:04:00] It used to be just me and him. And then another guy built a house in between us. He was cool. Very friendly guy. [1:04:08] Played a good character. That was a good show. Yeah, MASH was a very good show. [1:04:14] I said this other day to a friend of mine [1:04:17] I say, like, I listen... [1:04:19] I used to ride and take my kids to school and listen to morning shows, you know, really Tom Joyner, you know, listen to Tom Joyner. And this is something I can listen to with my kids.

[1:04:31] Now there's no morning shows there. [1:04:34] that I can listen to [1:04:36] with my children without them [1:04:38] putting in a different element that I'm, I don't, [1:04:41] want my kids to be a part of. You know, that's a [1:04:45] weird thing that they [1:04:47] cursing on radio and [1:04:50] doing all this other stuff. Well, they can't curse on radio still. [1:04:53] Yes, they can. Can they? They change it? They'll drop a B word in a minute. [1:04:57] Oh, a B word. Yeah. But that's it. [1:05:00] You can't say fuck. No. [1:05:07] You know, you got daughters. You're in the car. Right, right, right. And you're hearing some shit you don't want them to hear. Like... [1:05:12] That's a weird thing. So they go to school and they say, [1:05:18] You watching the... [1:05:20] V, you're like, damn, that was the ending of the show. Right. So now you just, we ride and listen to Keisha Cole. [1:05:30] He was in with no talk. Oh, I listen to NPR. I listen to Urban Network, you know, with them to listen. Now they got all these political questions. And, you know, when you're five year old, like, so why aren't we voting? [1:05:45] Like, oh, [1:05:47] It's because you've been listening to Karen Anna the whole time on the way to school or from school. [1:05:55] It's weird how you... [1:05:57] What shows would you sit down and watch with your kids now? [1:06:00] You know, they had to watch the shows that I grew up watching. You know, got to go back. You got to watch Perry Mason and Family Matters and, you know, the Cosby show, you know, different world. We had to go back and watch good times. You know, can't watch the current things, you know. So, you know, even with with comedy, I took I took Hassan to a comedy show.

[1:06:27] with me to see some friends. [1:06:30] and he was fourteen at the time [1:06:33] And we left. [1:06:35] Because it was no, it was nothing that, [1:06:39] the things that were being said, [1:06:41] It kind of made me go back to when... [1:06:46] Cosby did the story about his son going to see Eddie Murphy and his daddy said these things and I was sitting there like the after the first I [1:06:56] Two minutes, I'm like, yo, we got to get out of here. How old was he at the time? 14. 14. That's too young. [1:07:01] And I'm like, yo, man. But, I mean, the guy who's doing comedy is doing comedy for adults that are drinking in a nightclub, right? No, we was at an event where it was all these bodybuilders. The gym, Next Level, had did a show for all the... [1:07:18] the people that work out there and the trainers. And I'm thinking, okay, this is at a ballroom, you know, it's probably gonna be pretty cool. And [1:07:27] I stopped in. You know, we sat in the back and then it went left. And I was like, hey, man, let's get out of here. And he seen me. [1:07:38] and so he's like [1:07:40] Nah, this ain't the same. I'm like, yeah, I'm not going for a certain type of laugh. I'm not doing shock value, even though... [1:07:49] So he's watched... [1:07:50] almost all the specials. You know, so... [1:07:54] It's not the same for him.

[1:07:58] you know he looked he knows a lot of comics so it's it's not this wasn't conducive i was like hassan we out we out of here he's like but it's some comics you can go and you can watch they they whole show like a marcus d wiley he can get an understanding of [1:08:16] at least marriage, you know, how marriage goes to give you some fuel. But I think the landscape of... [1:08:23] Comedy is different for different people, not knocking the people who do shock value or a lot of sexual content. That's their thing. [1:08:32] That's their stick. And they're probably young, and at some point they'll grow up. [1:08:37] hopefully they'll grow and it'll be more things in life to [1:08:41] talk about people my will how do you had as many specials [1:08:45] Um... [1:08:46] Because I have a life, you know, I had a life before that I talked about, and then I have a life, a current life that, you know, I'm still experiencing. [1:08:57] So I'm going to talk about things that that's that's a little different because I'm I'm living and I'm not stuck in. [1:09:05] sex is not the number one thing I I'm always when I when I figured that I was [1:09:10] sex wasn't that big when [1:09:12] I went to you know they had to think Netflix and chill [1:09:15] And I actually wanted to watch the movie. [1:09:18] get your hand off my leg I'm trying to watch this movie so it's a it's a thing about the development in this game of how you grow and what you think about

[1:09:32] Well, I think comedy is just the one of the problems with the label is that there's no genres. It's not like blues comedy, rock and roll comedy, hip hop comedy, EDM comedy. It's just comedy. [1:09:44] You don't know what it is. [1:09:46] It's just different people's perspective on things. [1:09:49] And there's different kinds of comedy that people like. Some people are giant Richard Pryor fans. Some people are Sam Kinison fans. Some people are Jerry Seinfeld fans. And some people love Bonnie Raitt. And some people love whatever, James Brown, fill in the blank. There's a lot of different styles of music. And there's a lot of different styles of comedy. And... [1:10:10] All that I care is that you enjoy what you're doing and you're doing it because you enjoy it. And if you're doing that... [1:10:16] I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck what you're doing. I don't care if you have props. I don't care if you write signs and hold them up for the crowd. I don't give a shit what you're doing. [1:10:24] I don't care if you do impressions. I don't give a fuck what you're doing. That was a huge... [1:10:30] so when talk about the scope of comedy you know I'm [1:10:35] I can start with Carol Burnett, and I watch that. [1:10:38] The guy who I watched on HBO a lot. [1:10:42] I knew I wasn't going to do that type of stand-up. That was just a whole different thing. But Gallagher... [1:10:48] It was crazy to me. Crazy. That was the craziest. Everybody wore plastic. They had garbage bags around their necks. What, six rolls? Yeah, just getting splattered with watermelons and pineapples and coconuts and whatever the fuck he was. Cabbage. Ridiculous. Ridiculous. But he also had some good jokes. Some solid jokes in between then.

[1:11:08] Dude did a ton of specials. Yeah. You know the craziest story, the Gallagher story. [1:11:13] is Gallagher retired and his brother took over. [1:11:17] His brother was Gallagher, too. [1:11:19] So he had a brother that kind of looked like Gallagher. I remember that. Right? I remember Gallagher, too. And then somewhere down the line, Gallagher decided he wants to start doing comedy again. And he's like, hey, Gallagher, too. The gig is up. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no. I'm making money. I'm Gallagher, too. I think there was some sort of a legal dispute. Find out if that's correct. [1:11:43] There was a legal dispute between them. [1:11:46] Gallagher's younger brother, Ron, who shared a strong likeness to Leo, asked him for permission to perform shows using Gallagher's trademark Sledge-O-Matic routine. Leo granted his permission on the condition that Ron and his manager clarified in promotional materials that this was Ron Gallagher, not Leo Gallagher, who was performing. Ron typically performed in venues smaller than those of which Leo Gallagher performed. After several years, Ron began promoting his act as Gallagher II or Gallagher TOO or TWO. [1:12:15] In some instances, Ron's act was promoted in a way that left unclear the fact that he was not the original Gallagher. [1:12:22] Leo initially responded by requesting only that his brother not use the Sledge-O-Matic routine. You can't use the fucking, you can't use the Sledgehammer. Rod nonetheless continued to tour as Gallagher, too, using the routine. In August 2000, Leo sued his brother for trademark violations and false advertising.

[1:12:41] The court ultimately sided with Leo and granted an injunction prohibiting Ron from performing any act that impersonated his brother in small clubs and venues. [1:12:50] This injunction also prohibited Ron from intentionally bearing likeness to Leo. What? Imagine you can't look like your brother. You can't. Cut your mustache. Yeah, you got to change your mustache. You got to get rid of the beard. That's crazy. [1:13:04] So did Gallagher continue with his career after he kicked his brother out? [1:13:10] Did he come back? [1:13:12] was that part of it [1:13:14] I think it was... [1:13:16] I think. I don't know. No, but I mean does it say it there? It didn't say it here. It doesn't say it. Not specifically in this paragraph, no. When did Gallagher start performing again? Put that in a search. [1:13:27] See what it says. [1:13:28] Because I think he did start performing again. Yeah, he says it's... [1:13:32] he was [1:13:33] Rushed to the hospital after performance in 2011. [1:13:36] Oh. So... [1:13:37] Okay. And what year did he sue his brother? 2000. Oh, so he did start doing comedy again. So that's it. Yeah. [1:13:45] So he's like, "Hey, motherfucker." [1:13:47] Yeah, he had a special in 2007 and 2014. Yeah, you can't be doing that with Gallagher 2, running around, siphoning off of your crowd. You know, people are like, honey, you want to spend $50 and see Leo? [1:14:01] Or do you want to spend $20 and see basically the same shit? See Ron. See Ron smashing fucking cabbage. [1:14:09] This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, the home of my website, JoeRogan.com. If you want to level up your business, you got to improve your website. Squarespace gives you everything you need to get a fully custom website, offer services, sell products, and get paid all in one place.

[1:14:39] Rogan to get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. [1:14:44] This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. If you're looking for a new tent, jeans, gear, or anything really, there's millions of options to choose from. And finding the right one can take days or longer. At least when it comes to hiring, ZipRecruiter has a solution. Check it out for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. ZipRecruiter uses powerful matching technology to find exactly who you need fast. [1:15:14] Their latest feature introduces qualified candidates who are very interested in your role first. [1:15:21] Cut through the standard. Get to the standouts with ZipRecruiter. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. And now you can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. Meet your match on ZipRecruiter. You know, you had a carrot top. [1:15:51] I would use a mallet. What about a mallet? Can I use a mallet? Can I use a baseball bat? [1:15:58] Can I just have someone pitch me things and I smash them into the crowd? [1:16:02] Yeah. You can't own that. [1:16:04] That's there. That's a different thing. I'm handing out oranges and tomatoes in the order. Yeah, I honestly I don't give a fuck what you do as long as you like what you're doing.

[1:16:13] It's like I love certain kinds of music. [1:16:17] that's completely opposite to other shit that I love. [1:16:19] I mean, I like all kinds of stuff. [1:16:21] I don't think you should pigeonhole yourself with anything. But I would not take my kids, especially when they're really young, to see someone who's like very sexual or really rowdy or really raunchy like that. [1:16:34] You know the caveat to this is he was in the green room and they were looking right at him like they And I'm like what a change tail tell me? I [1:16:44] I didn't know they act. Oh, so he didn't say, hey, bro, you got young kids? Yeah, hey, man. Because I would say, hey, man, tonight, you know. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Set an event, bro. Oh, I would definitely do that, especially if you were another comic and you brought your kids out. [1:17:01] uh, uh, uh, uh, [1:17:03] Yeah, because Juan Villareal used to bring his kids. There's like seven minutes on dick sucking. We got it. [1:17:09] Like, yo, you know how to get him out of here. They don't need to know about all these techniques. Yeah, so that's weird. Yeah, that is weird. But you know what I mean? It's like time and a place. Like, who is he doing it for? [1:17:20] I mean, they probably knew what he did before they hired him. They probably wanted that. Someone's a fan. Yeah. [1:17:25] Which is fine, but just don't invite kids. And like I said, I didn't... [1:17:29] All I did was, hey, Hasan... [1:17:32] Let's go. And that's it. I didn't. Hey, y'all should have been. I'm like, hey, man, do what you do. But I'm getting my kid out of here. And then you get the phone call. Hey, man, why you leave? [1:17:42] You don't really want to know why.

[1:17:45] I'm leaving because you are... [1:17:47] terrorizing my childhood. [1:17:49] So yeah, but I definitely wouldn't take my girls to like, I'm like, they don't need to see that early. Not at all. My wife got mad at me when, I think one of my daughters was six, the other one was eight. [1:18:04] I had him watch the movie Alien. [1:18:07] You ever see that movie Alien, the original movie? Yeah. Fucking terrifying. And I'm like, this is too young. This is too young. I fucked up. [1:18:17] You know, I think Hassan... [1:18:20] Watch Annabelle. [1:18:22] when he was young and it was... Oh, Annabelle's creepy. It was... he was traumatized. He was watching at somebody else's house. Oh. You know... [1:18:31] with some other kids and they were like, I guess they understood. But Hassan was... [1:18:37] it was a whole problem like you talking about sleeping with all the lights on in the house like i want all the lights on and i'm sleeping [1:18:44] in your bed. Do you ever go to that place in Vegas? It's a haunted Zach Bagans haunted museum. He has the Annabelle doll there. Wow. [1:18:55] Yeah. [1:18:57] There it is. [1:18:59] Which one is the one on the right? Oh, hell no. [1:19:02] That's the real one? That's Rack of the A. Is the one on the left the movie one? Yeah. [1:19:05] Oh, really? [1:19:06] Interesting. Wow. So that Annabelle is... [1:19:10] Both of them creepy as hell to me, but... Well, there's something... [1:19:13] Kind of extra creepy about the one with eyes like a person.

[1:19:16] The left one. That's insane. [1:19:19] You believe in ghosts? [1:19:21] Yes. [1:19:22] Really? Have you had experience? [1:19:26] Um, no. [1:19:28] Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I have. Let me go back. Let me say that. I do believe in ghosts. So, [1:19:35] My old house, when my mom says that now, it's a girl that lives there. [1:19:40] I don't know what happened at this house, but it's definitely... [1:19:44] a girl that lives in the house, but she would only come from like the hallway bathroom to the kitchen. [1:19:51] and [1:19:52] I remember during the pandemic. Wait a minute. You say girl. You mean a ghost. Yeah. That's a girl. [1:19:57] Okay. She's definitely a girl. And... [1:20:00] I remember being during the pandemic. [1:20:03] I was in the den. [1:20:05] and i was working on i was working on something and literally [1:20:11] I just turned to say, [1:20:12] So you up, huh? [1:20:14] And because I can feel it. [1:20:16] I was like, yo, and I had to go back through my family. A lot of people in my family have experiences with... [1:20:22] past relatives that passed on. My uncle said he saw his dad, which my grandfather, um, [1:20:28] in his shoes. And my mom said she saw [1:20:32] my grandfather. [1:20:34] before and that lived in that died in the house that they had in mississippi but yeah i believe in ghosts i believe in unsettled spirits but you definitely had a girl that lived in that house my grandmother the one i was telling you about before she was very interesting and she uh she really strongly believed in ghosts and there was a guy that stayed with them for a while they had a like an upstairs area that they weren't using once the kids left and so they rented out like

[1:21:04] I forget exactly what it was. Anyway, they rented out a room to this guy. [1:21:07] wherever the circumstances were, and he died. [1:21:11] And my grandmother swore that that dude stayed in the house. [1:21:14] I believe it. I think [1:21:17] It's possible. [1:21:18] that if something happens to you, [1:21:22] that [1:21:23] if you're dying, it's a very traumatic experience. And I have a feeling [1:21:27] that we don't totally understand memory. [1:21:30] And we assume that memory is something that only human beings have. [1:21:34] Or that only animals have. Or that only creatures, living creatures have. I don't think that's real. I have a feeling... [1:21:41] there may be a type of memory from particularly traumatic experiences that stays in the space. [1:21:47] And I think this is one of the reasons why they have to disclose within a certain amount of time someone's been murdered in the house in a lot of places before you buy it. [1:21:55] Because people don't want to live in a house that's got that energy in it. Yeah. Because I think things keep energy. Yeah. [1:22:02] I think they do. I think there's something more to memory than, [1:22:07] than just as simple as, oh, remember when we were five? I think there's something else there. I think that's our memory. But I think there's a type of memory in things. [1:22:16] That's what I think. I believe in the unseen world. So I believe in Gens. [1:22:21] you know i believe in angels [1:22:24] so it's an unseen world that's not [1:22:27] you know, our thing, but it was things that was things here before us, you know, so. I think there's things here with us. Yeah, definitely with us. And people who don't think that haven't smoked DMT.

[1:22:40] But I definitely get old, get ahold of some DMT and you're like, okay, I don't know shit. There's things around me all the time. There's things that are influencing you all the time. [1:22:52] And this is like when we talk about like good energy and bad energy. One of the things you experience in psychedelic states is a clear recognition of like good things you've done and bad things you've done. Good way of thinking, good way you think about things, a positive way and bad. I remember having negative thoughts. [1:23:09] in an experience once and it was all these like dark fractals and then i realized it was trying to show me that these dark fractals these crazy geometric these like scary patterns that i was seeing was because of my own thoughts and then i released them and it turned into beautiful geometric patterns over and over and it kept saying like look at this and look at this and i was like oh it's actually the way you think changes the world around you it has an effect [1:23:39] ultimate effect it might not be a hundred percent of what happens to you and in your life but it has a meaningful effect we just can't measure it and there's things that are out there whatever they are [1:23:51] They have some kind of consciousness that are around us all the time. We just don't have the senses to take them in. [1:23:58] Just like when you wave your hand over an earthworm and has no fucking idea you're doing that. We don't have the senses to understand that there's things around us. And people have been writing about these things for so long to discount them all. They're all liars. They're all delusional.

[1:24:13] They're all crazy. [1:24:15] I think that people discount them due to thinking that [1:24:19] they were on drugs. [1:24:20] Well, they probably were. But it doesn't mean they're wrong. It doesn't mean they're wrong. You know, like a drunk really don't tell a lot of lies. [1:24:31] Thank you. [1:24:32] A drunk don't tell a lot. I'm drunk. I can't remember all that. I'm just saying what it is. But when you... [1:24:42] When people [1:24:44] like LSD you know you hallucinate [1:24:47] you know, or mushrooms or these things. People are like, well, you only saw that because you was on this. But maybe that's the portal on how you see it. [1:24:56] Certain things I think there's certain things that we block ourselves from being able to see by our own protective instincts We protect our thoughts. I mean, this is why people I think get paranoid when they smoke weed One of the things that weed does is it dissolves all these artificial barriers that you've put between you and in the thoughts of real danger? They all they're all there. You realize your vulnerability you realize Who you are so just think of how? [1:25:22] Years ago, [1:25:24] how weed was viewed, how marijuana was viewed. [1:25:28] it was taught that [1:25:30] Marijuana is the gateway drug to crack. [1:25:33] Right. [1:25:34] I didn't believe that. Like, [1:25:36] How did that even... [1:25:37] correlate, but it's for those who are trying to find an ultimate high. Maybe you just smoke weed and that's all you ever did.

[1:25:47] and you wasn't trying to find another high. I think some people [1:25:51] Try to find another high like now. [1:25:55] Man, a lot of these young people are on so many different things at the same time. [1:26:01] Like, what are you searching for? [1:26:04] You know, they popping pills, doing coke, drinking lean, doing everything all at the same time. Like what is and drinking like what? [1:26:13] What are you trying to escape or what are you searching for? You know, and I just know people who just smoke weed and still smoke joints They don't smoke [1:26:22] I know people who grow their own bud. They're not even trusting what's going on now. Now they're finding fentanyl and all this marijuana, you know, [1:26:31] And pesticides, horrible pesticides, because what people don't know is that a giant percentage of all the drugs or marijuana, rather, that people are buying in places where it's illegal. They're growing them in national forests in California. Yeah. [1:26:47] And the cartel is doing it. And the cartel uses a bunch of pesticides and herbicides that are illegal, like real toxic shit. And they find them doing it all the time. They find these grow ops in the forest all the time. [1:27:00] Because it's a misdemeanor. [1:27:02] So because marijuana is legal in the state of California, growing it is just a misdemeanor. So you could have a full-scale grow-up in public land. [1:27:11] out in the forest. [1:27:12] And these guys find them there all the time. A friend of mine found one in a ranch that he works at. He followed these PVC pipes.

[1:27:21] And he realized that some guy was diverting water into this little area that was on a Tohono Ranch, which is a big ranch outside of Bakersfield. [1:27:30] But this dude that was on my podcast before, his name is John Norris. He wrote a book about it. He was a game warden, and it turned into a tactical unit. They had to get, like, dogs, like Belgian Malinois and shit with bulletproof vests, and they're going in there having shootouts with the cartel because the cartel had set up these marijuana grow-ups in the woods. And it was his job to police that area. It's like, okay, I guess that's what we're doing now. And then they – it's a crazy story, man. It sounded like moonshine. That's why you were doing moonshine. Exactly, exactly. [1:28:00] this thing moonshine, moonshining. [1:28:02] developed into NASCAR. Exactly. [1:28:07] Exactly. They had to outrun the cops. [1:28:10] Yeah, that's what NASCAR came about from. It's fun. [1:28:14] I mean, listen, also, it's Al Capone. It's all the mob. They were all running alcohol, and there was a lot of people that were connected to them. [1:28:23] Some people believe that JFK's dad was involved in alcohol, but that's disputed. But the point is like a lot of people were making money selling alcohol, and they were all criminals, all of them. And so what are you doing? Are you stopping people from getting marijuana? Nope. What you're doing is you are empowering a criminal empire, and you're giving them an immense amount of money. [1:28:44] And they're probably going to have to kill a few people because people get in the way. They're probably going to have to rob a few people because people are competition. There's a little bit of a problem over here. We've got another guy growing.

[1:28:54] We live in... [1:28:56] uh... society where [1:28:58] the bad guys definitely [1:29:00] romanticized. Right. So how do you stop people [1:29:04] from wanting to be the bad guy when [1:29:08] It's so romanticized in everything. It's romanticized to the point where John Wick is a good guy. [1:29:16] John Wick is a contract killer for the Russian mob... [1:29:20] He kills who knows how many fucking people. [1:29:22] And he's the good guy. [1:29:24] But you got a problem with the Iceman. [1:29:27] Right. [1:29:27] right right right you know an ice man was a terrible person right you know he did it with poison john wick at least looks sexy in that suit but you cannot wait for john wick six to come out i love those well the john wick movie though like he had a reason they killed his dog and they stole his car [1:29:46] They fucked up. [1:29:47] They fucked up. They stole the wrong guy's car and they killed the wrong guy's puppy. And so you're rooting for him. You're rooting for him to kill all these bad Russian guys. But you don't realize, like, that guy's been a contract killer for the Russian mob for who knows how many dads has he assassinated. How many fucking people that have families that will never come home to them because of John Wick? [1:30:03] And yeah, and sometimes a lot of times, you know, people don't care. You know, that's weird. [1:30:09] Well, we're weird. We're a weird animal. We're a weird animal in a constant flux of thoughts. [1:30:14] And, you know, trying to figure out what's the right way to think and the wrong way to think. [1:30:19] People join religions for it. They'll join cults for it. They'll join political movements for it. They just want to find a way to thank God.

[1:30:26] that makes them feel better than the way they think right now. [1:30:29] You know, with... [1:30:31] with the need to feel better. [1:30:35] outside of yourself. [1:30:37] Thank you. [1:30:37] you know, or... [1:30:41] your family, [1:30:43] you know, or being [1:30:47] great to society. I think that's [1:30:51] detrimental to this society where I personally need to feel better, but I don't want... [1:30:59] the community around me to feel better and in my mind if [1:31:04] everybody around you in the community feels better. I think it makes for a more harmonious, [1:31:11] you know, environment than me just being the only one. Yeah, but that's because you're a wise person. The problem is there's a lot of people that aren't wise and there's no one wise around them. [1:31:22] And that's the real issue is that there's an extreme lack of like a good direction book of how to lead a solid life. You're not taught at school. At school, you're taught to sit down and learn some shit that you don't give a fuck about learning. Memorize this. Do good on the test. You got to get a job. What's a job? Well, you got to sit there and do some shit you don't want to do to get some money. And with the rest of your time, you can do whatever you want as long as you keep showing up every morning at the same spot. Okay. And then that sucks. [1:31:52] What do you want to do? I want to escape this suck. So what do I need? Cold syrup? Okay, give me some of that. What do I need? Weed? Give me some of that. Adderall? Ooh, Adderall makes me like the job. Okay, I'll take this shit every day. Now I don't give a fuck. Now I'm trying to get ahead. Next thing you know, I'm moving up the corporate ladder. I don't want to fuck an animal, bro, because I'm on Adderall. You're basically on meth.

[1:32:13] You're on a well-designed slow drip amphetamine. [1:32:17] And you're out there fucking sleeping four hours a day, getting shit done, driving a Jaguar. [1:32:26] And this is the problem with other societies. [1:32:30] There's a lot of people out there that don't really have a purpose. They don't have a real feeling of purpose in their life. You are very fortunate because you found a thing that you're really good at, that you love to do, and you make a great living doing it. [1:32:47] taught to pursue a thing or they never saw anybody else do it and they realized they could do it too and then next thing you know they're married and they have kids and they're in their 30s and then they're in their 40s and they feel like shit [1:32:57] I'll ask you a question. [1:33:00] I'm Gwen Washington from Snap Judgment, the storytelling podcast from KQED. Imagine an iconic piece of paradise overrun by one of the most horrific fires in recent memory. Everyone flees. Everyone except one person who decides to fight the flames alone. [1:33:17] The moment when nature, institutions and technology fail at the exact same time. That's all systems down at new Snap Judgment miniseries from KQED. Tap to listen now. [1:33:30] Experience a membership that backs what you're building with American Express Business Platinum. Get two times membership rewards points per dollar on eligible purchases and key business categories, as well as on each eligible purchase of $5,000 or more on up to $2 million in eligible purchases per calendar year. American Express Business Platinum. There's nothing like it. Terms apply. Learn more at AmericanExpress.com slash business dash platinum.

[1:34:00] you have a team correct team of people sure okay [1:34:07] *sigh* [1:34:09] with [1:34:09] Do you think your team is happy doing whatever they do for the team? [1:34:15] If I didn't think that, they wouldn't be working. Okay. So you don't want to be the only one happy on the team. No, that's terrible. And you don't want to also have someone on the team that is one of those people that just are never happy. [1:34:30] That's a problem too. That's a problem too. There's people out there you can't fix. [1:34:35] So with [1:34:37] I produce other people's specials now. And [1:34:42] comics that hit me, hey man, I want you to distribute my special, I want you to do this for myself, and, and, [1:34:47] The hardest thing. [1:34:49] I'm a small company. [1:34:51] The hardest thing is... [1:34:55] when I have to explain to somebody why it's a no. [1:34:59] you know [1:35:00] on this particular special. And it's not just my no, it is [1:35:06] for other people's [1:35:09] No, because I tell people and I explain this, if we're doing a special with you, [1:35:14] you have to get [1:35:17] the approval. [1:35:18] Of all five of us. [1:35:21] because we all five do different things and I want [1:35:25] everybody who's involved in your special to want to do it. [1:35:30] not

[1:35:30] They have to do it because it's a part of the company. No, I want them to want to do it. And I say, I'm not putting you through a process that I'm not putting myself through. [1:35:39] You know what I'm saying? And I've tested this team with me. [1:35:44] Um... [1:35:45] giving them [1:35:47] especially that I knew that wasn't [1:35:49] special. And I'm the head. I'm like, I sent it out, and they... [1:35:56] and we brought it back to the table and it was a lot of silence at first i'm like so what we think [1:36:02] And they was like, [1:36:04] I don't know. I think this is horrible. I'm just listening to everybody's... [1:36:11] You know, opinion on it. [1:36:12] And they was like, I don't understand the direction. I don't understand where you're going with this. I just, you know, we're going to have to fix a lot of it. I'm like, and I'm just sitting there listening. [1:36:20] And, you know, [1:36:21] We took the vote. [1:36:22] And when we turned the vote in, it was five no's. And he was like, [1:36:28] So what was your take on it? I said, I knew it was a no from the beginning. [1:36:32] I just wanted to make sure that y'all wasn't going to try to fluff me with the because he's the head. We're going to say yes. And I'm like, good. So anytime we do a project. [1:36:44] If that I put it on the table, [1:36:46] Just like I put anybody else's project on the table and you got to get all five people. If you want me to finance, you got to get me. Then you got to get the marketing person that's going to market. Then you got to get the director. You got to get the, um, the manager. You got to get everybody. Everybody.

[1:37:02] So they can feel good about pushing your project. I don't want anybody pushing a project that they don't like. That's very smart. Yeah. So you make it a democracy. [1:37:12] Smart so you got all five of us then now we ready runs and and and now I'm feel good about somebody coming to me and say this is gonna cost this Because I know they're doing it out of a man. This is what's gonna cost we gonna figure it out we and I'm like cool but [1:37:29] Even when I do a special, man, it is a lot of... [1:37:34] Thank you. [1:37:35] You don't want to talk about this part. [1:37:38] No. It's like, we should talk about this more. [1:37:41] And it's been some decisions that have been made that was... [1:37:46] It was my call at the end. [1:37:47] But it was somebody else's idea, like with Domino Effect. [1:37:52] it would have never been a domino effect two three or four [1:37:55] if I would have stuck with the name that I started with. [1:37:58] The name was 1983. [1:38:00] So what it was going to be? 83, 86. [1:38:06] And... [1:38:08] I've rugged [1:38:10] which one [1:38:12] three Reby Awards. Rugged was the original name was I'm Not Handy. And Eric called me and was like, [1:38:21] No. No. [1:38:22] we're we're i've listened to it i watched it so many times i think that we should go with this name and he he gave me the name i sat on it for a day and then i called him back i'm like

[1:38:33] Yeah, you about right. That's good. That means you got good people. And I think that people should put like right now I'm on the custom fit tour. Well, I'm I'm off into August because I'm take six weeks of vacation. But custom fit. [1:38:51] is... [1:38:52] not going to be as special. [1:38:55] is just the tour that I'm doing now because the specials that I'm writing [1:39:00] different than what I just wanted to take this time to just do some material. I didn't want to be working on the special, but the theme is about [1:39:12] people think custom fit is about clothes it's not about clothes it's about tailor making the people around you and saying [1:39:18] that can you can be a benefit to it can be a benefit to you and saying not just having these people around because you know sometimes people have a bunch of people around that [1:39:28] secretly [1:39:29] despise them. [1:39:32] you know and secretly despise their success [1:39:34] and that's a [1:39:36] that's detrimental to [1:39:38] anything. Haters. Yeah. Sometimes haters will get close to you, stay next to you. It's a problem. I mean, when you're in a position like you're in, too, when you're producing other people's specials, you're going to get a bunch of people that come to you that you don't want to do their shit. [1:39:53] It's just like owning the club. The same issue. The way I bypass that, I put all the power into Adam. Adam Egott decides who's there and who's not there and how the club gets scheduled and

[1:40:06] you know, who passes and who doesn't. [1:40:08] And he's really good at it. [1:40:10] You know, he's really good at it. I trust him implicitly, so I don't have to think about it. And I like it so that when people say, I want to work your club, I'm like, well, you've got to talk to Adam. [1:40:18] I just... [1:40:19] I might be the owner, but I just perform there. I don't think about it in terms of how the scheduling is. I often have to check the website to see who's there. I don't know who's there. [1:40:29] You know, it might be mine, but I got a guy who does it and he does it really well. So why would I get involved in that? [1:40:36] when I was easier not when I had on [1:40:40] When I had a club in Houston, I couldn't be funny in the club. [1:40:45] at all. Why not? Because I was [1:40:47] actively working the club. So, [1:40:51] I'm on stage now. [1:40:52] and I'm worried about so many other things going on. Like, yo, did you just drop a glass on the ground? [1:41:01] I didn't have enough help. You got to get the right help. I got very fortunate in that a lot of the people that I took to Austin, they were from the comedy store. [1:41:12] And they were out of work. So the comedy store closed because of the fucking stupid government of L.A. They wouldn't even allow them to do outside shows. [1:41:21] You couldn't do an outside show in the parking lot of the comedy store. They wouldn't allow it. It's so stupid. They were closed for like a good solid year and a half. They couldn't support paying all these people. So they had to get rid of them, and I moved here. And it's the same time. It just, by chance, it happened at the same time. And so they were all out of work, and I said, hey.

[1:41:40] Let's get the band back together again. Do you guys want to move to Austin? So I paid for everybody to come out here, and I paid for them. I gave them a full salary with everything for like – [1:41:50] a year and a half or so, maybe even more, maybe two years. [1:41:55] before anybody had to go to work. [1:41:57] because the club wasn't open. So I was like, I want to give you a job so you could settle in, get used to Austin. You're going to get paid like you're working, but you don't have to work. But I love you. I know you. And, you know... [1:42:13] Come here. Very admirable. With the store, I just performed at the store, um, main room for, um, [1:42:21] TEE. They had a thing before BGT World, so I popped in. And [1:42:27] The comedy store [1:42:29] has a certain politics to it. [1:42:32] that. [1:42:33] You know, I like the other one. [1:42:35] a little more, even though all they serve is pop. The improv? [1:42:37] No, the other comedy store. Oh, La Jolla? Yeah, La Jolla. La Jolla's the shit. Which is... That place is the shit. What a club. They just don't have food. No. You pop popcorn drinks. I don't believe in food and comedy clubs either. Yeah, so... But it's just a different environment. La Jolla's like very nice, beautiful place. That club is awesome. I love performing there. And... [1:43:02] with the store in L.A., [1:43:05] It's like you get that, and it seems very... [1:43:09] segregated. This is now?

[1:43:11] To me, that's when I... How long ago was this? I just performed last week, last Wednesday. That's sad to hear because it wasn't like that before. It seemed like the main room and the room around the corner and the belly, all these rooms are... [1:43:28] different. [1:43:29] spaces and... [1:43:32] That's to me. And I may just it may just be that feel because I'm not there a lot, you know, but. [1:43:38] when I come before I came that time. But the management walked up was very pleasant. What do you mean by different spaces? But obviously the different rooms. What do you mean? [1:43:46] What do you mean? It seems like the main room is different from the room around the corner. Well, it is different, but what do you mean by... [1:43:54] Feels different? It feels a little different. Well, I mean, just by its design. It's a big showroom. It's brighter. The ceilings are taller. And then you get into the original room, which is just tight and perfect. The original room is like, that's where you find out what's real. You know, I've seen a lot of people have rough sets. They were real confident going into that room. That room was a truth serum. I like a tight. [1:44:18] Well, then there's the belly room. The belly room is the ultimate truth serum. Trying out new jokes in the belly room is the place because it only seats 70 people. You can't bullshit those people. [1:44:32] The creme de la creme to me is a tight, small room. The belly room is spectacular. Because that's where I came from. Such a good room. I came from small audiences. They're the best. It's the best for finding out if jokes are real.

[1:44:45] There's nothing like a small crowd. Like in our club, we have the little boy. [1:44:48] Our rooms are named after the bombs they dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. And Little Boy is only 110 seats. [1:44:58] It's a super low ceiling. [1:44:59] Thank you. [1:45:00] This is when... [1:45:01] you know, it's those times in comedy when you knew that [1:45:05] that's what you actually love to do. And I remember I was in San Antonio [1:45:10] at this place called Santa's [1:45:13] he literally owned a whole strip [1:45:17] the club the washout here the corner store everything the guy named santa i didn't know that he owned it but it was like [1:45:24] a rainstorm or something. The show got rained out. And it is literally... [1:45:30] Three people... [1:45:32] in this room. [1:45:33] It's two ladies and it's Santa. [1:45:36] And I don't know that this is him at the time. And... [1:45:40] We had to go on to get paid. The promoter was like, I'm not paying nobody who don't go on. We're still doing the show. [1:45:46] I'm like, okay. So this is $100. [1:45:50] He's getting paid $100. And he was like, who going up? [1:45:54] I'm definitely going up. [1:45:56] and [1:45:57] I'm going up first. Like, I don't care. I did like an hour and 30 minutes for three people. And I was like, because I kept looking, like, anybody else going up? They was like, no, we good. I'm like, I... [1:46:11] And Santa... [1:46:13] I remember he finally revealed that he was the owner of the club. And he was like, well, let me take you to the back. He took me to the back, and he gave me like $700.

[1:46:22] He was saying, [1:46:23] for performing. [1:46:25] He's a yeah, man, you wasn't scared. And me and my friends had a good time. And it was like three people. It was literally the dude named Vance put the show on. It was like three Vance tell anybody. So he's like, this is when I knew Ali was different when he went out. [1:46:40] three people he went first and he's like i went 30 and he was like and it didn't look like he was coming down i'm like yo bro i'm i'm i'm here this is what i do i don't and i need that hundred dollars so that's definitely some extra motivation that no one else wanted to go up they're like no and another time i was at wiley um [1:47:02] of the Wiley College. [1:47:04] Marcus was performing and the mic went out. [1:47:08] And it's like all these people in this auditorium, the same place they shot, Denzel shot the movie, The Great Debate. So we in this... [1:47:16] and the sound goes out. [1:47:18] So [1:47:19] and [1:47:20] they, [1:47:21] started ribbing Marcus and I and I was in the back I was like what's going on and it's like the sound went out and [1:47:27] And I walked out, I was like, [1:47:29] What's happening? [1:47:31] And I said, hold on, Marcus. Let me ask him something. Wait a minute. I know damn well y'all not in here trying to get somebody a problem because y'all got us in. We didn't bring this sound system. Got us in Fair Eastside High before broken clock. And and so I say, listen, Marcus, Marcus sat down in the back. I was like, yo, this is what we're going to do. I'm going to talk. [1:47:51] Y'all gonna laugh, then I'm gonna talk some more. But y'all can't be laughing all along because we don't have no sound. I'm not supposed to use my real voice in this. So I'm at like 45. And then I look back at Mark. I say, hey man, you wanna come back up? Mark was like, no. Like, you got it?

[1:48:08] Like a hour and 20. He's like, yo, Ali's nuts. I'm like, [1:48:13] No, this is what I do. [1:48:16] And I'm going to figure it out. [1:48:18] We did a show at the Improv once in Hollywood, and the power went out. [1:48:22] and they were going to cancel the show. And we were sitting there talking, and I said, why don't [1:48:27] can we light the stage somehow? And they said, yeah, we can get a... [1:48:32] emergency light attached to like a generator and we could put a, you know, put the, run the wires through the crowd and put an emergency light on the stage. I go, that's that. We'll do that. And then we'll just do stand up with no mic. [1:48:44] And we did the whole show with no mic. [1:48:46] It was the opening, middle... [1:48:48] And then me, I did a full hour. It was amazing. Everybody had a great fucking time. It felt special. It felt very unusual. You got to see what it's like when you don't have a microphone and you're projecting to the back of the room. Changed my pacing on things. But it was great. It felt cool. It felt like you were doing something. And the audience was into it. I go, look, we're going to have fun, right? Like, fuck it. Who cares? This is never going to happen again probably ever. Ever. [1:49:16] I've never I've been doing comedy 30 something years. I've never had that happen where I did a show with no microphone except that one. [1:49:22] So this is the thing. These are the experiences. [1:49:26] that [1:49:27] as a [1:49:29] comic going through the trenches [1:49:31] that some comics will never have. Right. Because they didn't come up that way. And you have a different set of chops when you come up a certain type of way. I've come up.

[1:49:43] And just joking had to be the craziest thing. [1:49:47] place [1:49:48] Because some nights you're coming in, it's like, [1:49:52] Nine people. [1:49:53] But these nine people are into comedy. And Alice would be like, you got to do the show. Like, it's not a... We don't have a limit. We got to do these people that's here. Because what the thing is, that whole idea that the show... [1:50:07] must go on regardless to... [1:50:10] Well, I learned that from Paul Mooney, too. And one of the things that I said, I did a show at the comedy store. It's like the first time that Mooney ever complimented me. I was always scared of him. [1:50:22] It's just like Moody didn't like you. It was terrifying. He was a legend. He was a legend, wrote for Richard Pryor, and it was like the way he carried himself. He didn't like you. And I was 27. I was young and stupid. [1:50:35] I went up because I would always go up last or late. I had late spots. [1:50:39] And there was like 15 people in the room. But I did my act. And I heard in the back of the room, oh, oh, oh. He was laughing, having fun. And then he grabbed me afterwards. He goes, you're a real motherfucking comic. [1:50:52] He goes, that's what a real comic does. He goes, all these other motherfuckers, they went up there and they did, oh, where are you from? Bitch, I know where I'm from. Tell me some fucking jokes. Do your fucking act. And that's what you did. And I was like, wow. Paul Booney likes me. Whew. Me and Paul had a different type of relationship.

[1:51:13] Did you and Paul not get along? Um... [1:51:16] One, I have to always say, I love Paul. [1:51:21] until I met him. It's like Paul was on some bullshit when I met Paul, man. I was at the Improv and I was featuring for him. And the Improv had got me to feature for him and I was like, cool, I'm excited. I get to meet. [1:51:38] One of my idols in this game, one of the people who... [1:51:42] change the... [1:51:43] course of my pacing because my lineage is just sitting down. [1:51:48] Thank you. [1:51:49] I passed through Paul. So it's when I first started, I was a crazy man. I was all over the place. [1:51:56] thought that you had to have all this energy. And then this guy named Dez White [1:52:01] walked into [1:52:02] the club [1:52:03] One night I was there. [1:52:05] And Dez stood in the same exact place. He never took the mic out of the stand. [1:52:10] put his drink down the stool and beds just stood there and he was destroying this room [1:52:17] Never took the mic out the stand. And people, and he always, people say, Dez, Dez, why you don't take the mic out the stand? [1:52:26] Any night. [1:52:27] Because there's a stand Let it let it over the mic. So some of my favorite comics don't take the mic guys down Ron white I [1:52:34] Ron White just stands there with a drink on a stool, sometimes with a cigar, just killing with the microphone in the stand. Oh, man. Joey Diaz. Joey Diaz keeps the fucking mic in the stand, and he makes me laugh harder than any fucking human being that's ever lived.

[1:52:50] that [1:52:51] So I'm going to finish Paul, then I'm going to go to Ron. So what did he do, though? So I'm in the green room. [1:52:59] And at the old Empire where they had a downstairs, you would come through the... It used to be a rainforest cafe. Right, right, right. Yeah, so it was spellbinders at first, and then it changed. So... [1:53:10] I'm sitting in the green room and it's a main part and it's a smaller part. He walked into the small part and said, hey... [1:53:18] Go count the rule. [1:53:21] And I'm like, what? [1:53:23] Yeah, go count the room. [1:53:26] I was like, I don't... [1:53:28] I don't work here like that. [1:53:29] count their own [1:53:31] and he's like yeah all right [1:53:34] And he walked out. [1:53:36] And then he came back maybe 25 minutes later. [1:53:41] tell you and your little white friend that it's packed out there and i want my bonus [1:53:47] what white friend? Raymond Cook is the manager of the club at the time. He was talking about Raymond. And I was like, yo, Paul, I don't count the room. I'm the feature. [1:53:59] Why would I be counting the fucking roll? [1:54:02] And then he says something else negative to me. And I'm like, yo, Paul. [1:54:06] If you say something else, [1:54:09] to me i'm gonna kick your ass like what what is wrong with you so i called dl i'm like yo i'm about to fucking beat up palm on it he's like [1:54:20] you can't beat up Paul Monty he's a legend even if you beat him up you're still not gonna win it's gonna be a loss-loss

[1:54:28] So I'm like, yo, so then another time, [1:54:32] Oh, and then later on that that same weekend. [1:54:35] He had this lady with him and she was sitting at the top. [1:54:39] And I was sitting up there and she got up and she left her purse. [1:54:43] So I didn't want to leave and leave the lady's purse there. So I grabbed the strap and I got the purse like this. I came in. I'm like, hey, ma'am, you love your purse. And Paul turned around. What are you doing with a purse? [1:54:55] I say she left it [1:54:58] And the only thing in my head is DL, you cannot... [1:55:02] beat up paul mounet so i just walked out i'm like i'm gonna paul up what year was this this is like three years before he died [1:55:09] And this is the old improv. This is what I heard just for clarity. He was struggling. He was struggling. [1:55:18] in the last years of his life. [1:55:20] So you probably didn't get the best version of Paul Mooney. So then we're here in Austin. We're performing at the... [1:55:27] The theater that's right next to the Paramount. [1:55:30] is this another theater is connected to the prayer mount [1:55:33] the black heritage, the black art, something a book, both of us not knowing, [1:55:39] that we at odds. So I'm in my green room and the lady comes in, "Hey, she's very nice. Hey, Ali, Paul Mooney's next door." And you like to meet him? And I was like, "No, I'm cool." And then [1:55:54] She goes, Paul, Ali's next door. You know, I don't know if y'all want to meet each other. And Paul's like, no, I'm cool.

[1:56:00] and [1:56:01] I went up. [1:56:02] I'm in my green room and the host is on stage and Paul's getting ready to go up. And this was his apology. He walked by. [1:56:10] the room and came back like on [1:56:13] Purple Rain came back and leaned in the room and went, Hi, Ali. And then... I mean, Paul's fucking nuts, man. Yeah, but he... You gotta take that. [1:56:25] that you know there's certain people are just eccentric that's paul i mean i wouldn't have counted the fucking room either i would have been like that's not my job yeah but ron white [1:56:36] I was in Orlando. [1:56:38] Manager Orlando called me say hey Ali. Um, I know you have a I know you have a um a feature and [1:56:45] But Ron White would like to-- [1:56:50] We know feature for you. [1:56:51] And I was like, I don't know. Um... [1:56:54] no person named Ron White [1:56:56] And she's like, [1:56:57] You don't know Ron White? [1:56:59] I'm like, wait a minute. [1:57:01] Like Ron White, Ron White? I thought he was like some other guy who was using his name or something. His name happens to be Ron White, too. [1:57:07] Like, Ron, why he's like... [1:57:10] Yeah. [1:57:11] I say he want a feature for who? [1:57:13] He said, you, he called and asked. I was like, [1:57:17] the fuck i said hell yeah so i called marcus my yo marcus [1:57:21] Thank you. [1:57:21] You're going to go up. [1:57:22] And then you're going to bring up Ron White. When was this? [1:57:25] This was like maybe [1:57:26] Four years ago. That's crazy. [1:57:28] And Ron shows up.

[1:57:31] Thank you. [1:57:32] and [1:57:33] this huge tour bus like i'm i'm walking to the club and i'm like who buses this and i'm like oh shit it's ron's but it's got tequila brand on it and all and he's in his bus he's not even in the green room then he then i get knock on the door and it's his his manager he's like hey ron would like to know can he come in the green room [1:57:56] I was like, [1:57:57] He's like, Ron, why didn't you come in the green room? So he comes in. He's like, yo, man, I just want to, I love what you do. I just want to do some time. Ron went up there. [1:58:06] and was [1:58:08] destroying this room. And I can wait [1:58:11] to get up but i want to talk about [1:58:14] I'm like, "Fuckin' Ron White just picked it for me." I destroyed his Roman run. He sat [1:58:22] You're fucking amazing. And like... [1:58:24] And my mind is, I'm still in awe that Ron White, [1:58:28] Wanted to fucking... [1:58:30] I was like, that shit was crazy to me. That's so cool. Well, you know, when he's working on new stuff, that's what he likes to do. He likes to go around and does a lot of sets. He's constantly active. He's at the club tonight. We're working tonight. [1:58:44] He's one of the main reasons I moved here. Ron moved here before the pandemic. [1:58:49] So I called him up in like 2018. I loved having him at the store. So he started coming to the store around 2014-ish, something like that. And, oh, my God, we had so much fun. [1:58:59] for years and years. [1:59:01] And he had a beautiful place up in Beverly Hills. And then he just got sick because he's always traveling. He just got sick of the long...

[1:59:07] flights and the traffic and i called him up i go why'd you move to texas he goes austin's amazing the food's fucking great everyone's nice it's in the middle of the country if i want to fly to florida it's quick if i want to fly to i'm like god damn it can i live in texas and then the shit hit the fan with covid and i was like i gotta get the fuck out of california this place sucks they're telling me what to do this is not what i signed up for you tell me i can work you tell me i have to wear a mask fuck you i'm getting out of here and when i came to austin it was one of the main [1:59:37] if we never do comedy again [1:59:39] at least I can hang out with Ron. [1:59:42] That's amazing. Yeah, and then everybody else came. And then once – I mean, so everybody says, well, I got everybody to move here. Sort of. I got a lot of people to move here, but Ron got me to move here. That's the most important thing. Like, Ron got me to move here. And then I realized how nice people are here and how disconnected they are from show business. And I was like, oh, this is so refreshing. Everyone's just normal. [2:00:02] My neighbor's a normal guy. Everyone's normal. They're regular people. Just people living their lives, having a good time. [2:00:09] You know, it's like [2:00:10] And for me, because I love hunting, everyone hunts out here. Yeah. It's like a normal pastime. I tell people I bow hunt in California, like, oh, yeah. [2:00:20] Texas is... [2:00:21] Texas we have been [2:00:23] a gym for a long time and we just let we let other people feel like they the [2:00:30] Thank you. [2:00:30] upper echelon we'd like okay texas ruled forever i mean you gotta think kenison and hicks two of the greatest of all time came out of houston yep and when i was coming here all the time i knew it right so one of the things that was good about doing comedy is a lot of people that moved during the pandemic just wanted to get out of california but they had no idea what the rest of the world was going to be like they'd never been to nashville they never been to austin i'd been here a

[2:00:54] A couple dozen times. I knew I loved it. So I was like, look, this will be all right. Like, I'll be fine. Like, it looks like I'm never doing comedy again. I was like, it looks like comedy's done. It looks like they're going to fucking make us just stay indoors, especially in, like, blue cities. Like, this is crazy. You have to have a vax card to eat at a restaurant in New York City. I'm like, this is fucking bananas. None of this shit makes any sense. I remember... [2:01:18] you guys came, Mothership was coming. The next thing I know, Creek in the Cave was here. Creek in the Cave was here first. Yeah, I'm saying how I heard about it. I'm like, oh, Creek in the Cave? I'm like, damn, okay, Creek in the Cave is coming from New York. And then Mothership is here. But they had rooms. You know, the main thing was... [2:01:40] Was the room that that was so hard to get in there first? I [2:01:45] on the austin comedy club [2:01:47] Damn, I forget the name of it. Velveeta Room? No, no, it was the actual comedy club. Cap City? Cap City. Yes. Cap City. That place was always packed. Yeah. I almost bought that place. [2:01:59] Yeah, I heard that. Yeah, I almost bought that whole mall. But the guy who was trying to sell it to me wanted way more than it was worth. And then he got roped up in some FBI investigation. I was told while it was going on that he was being investigated. And I was like, oh. [2:02:17] Okay. And then you wound up getting arrested. But that building was for sale. The whole thing was for sale. And I went in there. I thought about how many shows I'd been there, how many shows I'd seen there, how many shows I'd performed there. I'm like, I could own this place? Oh, my God. Cap City was the first...

[2:02:33] place [2:02:33] that I did on the road with DL. That was a great club. [2:02:38] Fucking great club. Perfect club. [2:02:41] That place was amazing. Such a fun place to work. I think that people didn't realize how... [2:02:47] the rich history of [2:02:49] Houston, Dallas, Austin. Laugh Stop. San Antonio. Bro, Laugh Stop in Houston, River Oaks, one of the greatest clubs of all time. Somebody told me that that building still exists like that, that it's still set up like that, that there's nothing in it. Is that true? There's nothing in it, no. But it's still the same room? Yep. [2:03:07] Thank you. [2:03:08] Man, we might have to do a Mothership Houston. [2:03:11] Yeah. [2:03:12] That's a... [2:03:13] See, if there's another city that could support a large group of talented up-and-comers, Houston is one of them. [2:03:21] Yeah, so you know we have Seeker Group there, we have... They had the other Cap City that was upstairs. Remember they opened up the second one? [2:03:31] They closed that one and opened up another one. You're talking about Laugh, Cap City? Oh, I'm sorry, Laugh Stop. That was the Laugh Spot. No, no, no, they had that already. That already existed. No, the Laugh Spot went upstairs on wall. They had moved. I thought that was the Laugh Stop. I thought it was the same group that owned the Laugh Stop in River Oaks. [2:03:55] The Laugh Spot was another place. I knew that because when I was working at the Laugh Stop... [2:04:01] Ralphie May was working at the last spot. We got together and we're hanging out and eating dinner. But that was...

[2:04:08] That was the old spot. Then there was the other laugh stop that they put upstairs. It was a new – but it didn't last. It was only for a couple years. Yeah, I didn't go to that. It was a good spot. Yeah. Then it went under. Yes. [2:04:21] Yeah. Ari Shapiro did it with a Hitler mustache once. [2:04:25] He trimmed his mustache to look like Adolf Hitler. Ari is by far the craziest person that I know. I thought my Uncle Mac was the craziest person, and then I met Ari. I'm like, this is the craziest person that I know. Yeah, he's awesome. He just moved to England. I'm like, brother, going to stab you. He moved to England. They will fucking stab you. They stabbed people there. Don't get stabbed. [2:04:55] dude, but he's fucking nuts. I went to go see him at the Creek in the Cave when he was getting ready to film his special. And [2:05:06] I was like, yo, Ari is so crazy. If people took time, just go through the many looks of Ari Shaffir on the internet. The one that killed me was the half... [2:05:19] he was just bald on one side then on the other side he's doing two face he's insane he did two face for Batman he's out of his mind but that's really who he is he's not trying he's out of his mind he's a maniac complete maniac when he tore up Burt I heard about him tearing up Burt's check it was like $25,000 he's like I just made $25,000

[2:05:49] I'm like, they'll write you another one. I'm like, are you insane? And I'm like, he's the craziest person. But I've had some great conversations on the phone with him. And he's just... [2:06:04] And I was very fucking smart, dude. I was very smart when he called me to do the his last the endless. [2:06:12] And I was like... [2:06:14] That's cool to say because that's where that's a pivoting point, a major point in my career when I did... [2:06:22] This is not happening. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was a great show, man. It was a great idea. I remember when he started doing it. He started doing it at the lab at the improv. So do you remember the lab? Yeah. Another little room. Cool little room. They should have never got rid of that room. [2:06:37] They changed that place and they fucked it up, in my opinion. [2:06:41] That's the room, the main room is still awesome, but the lab used to be in the back and it was like there wasn't a big bar there. I think it's still there. It's different now. Yeah, Deon Cole. Last time I was there, Deon Cole. Yeah, but it's different. It's different. It's not the same setup. It used to be you went through a door and it was like another small room. And in that small room, it was separated from the front door. They moved the front door and now everybody went in through the parking lot. [2:07:07] right and so they went into the lab through the parking lot so the [2:07:10] The front door was back there now, and when you would open it, it was all this noise from the street, and they had a curtain to block off the noise, and you'd hear people talk. They were like right next to your stage where they were buying tickets. It was annoying. And then there was the bar, which is right there. It's still a cool little small room once everybody settles in, but the original setup was way better.

[2:07:31] And Ari started doing it there. And I was like, what are you doing? And he's like, I'm going to do a storyteller show. I was like, ugh. [2:07:36] What the fuck was that? [2:07:40] That's what I thought. I was like, why are you doing that? And then he said, well, it really helps you without having to have punch lines and setups and have everything really tight. [2:07:50] You could find the beats in a story. And I was like, oh, well, actually, that's brilliant. That's pretty fucking smart. It's a good alternative sort of way to develop bits. You know, you develop bits by working it out, but in a more loose format of telling a story. And I didn't even know that that was the premise behind it, because when I got it, [2:08:11] Um... [2:08:12] is like it's going to tell a true story [2:08:15] And I was like, okay, cool. That's my, that's my thing. Right. You know, and I had, um, I, [2:08:22] just won comedy central's comic to watch in like 2013. So you get a package, you get an hour, you get a half hour and you, [2:08:32] you get a chance to go on one of the shows that's already on Comedy Central. So they was pitching [2:08:38] me at the Adam Devine show. And I was like, I don't like it. [2:08:44] and [2:08:45] it was another show I was like nah I'm cool so every show that they would [2:08:48] say that they wanted me to go, I was like, no, that really ain't my thing. [2:08:52] So then Chase DeRusso, [2:08:54] young comic commies and a listen [2:08:57] you might want to go on... [2:09:00] This is not happening.

[2:09:02] I was like, what's that? He said, it's a show started on the internet, [2:09:05] you know you [2:09:07] I went on and I watched... [2:09:09] Both [2:09:10] I think both seasons of it on the internet. And I was like, yo, [2:09:14] this is the this is the one so i call ann harris that kind of say this is the show that i want to do [2:09:21] and [2:09:22] already know me [2:09:23] Yeah, or is like... [2:09:24] I don't know him. But Eric Abrams is one of the co-creators of the show. He's like... [2:09:31] I know him. [2:09:32] So... [2:09:33] he's pretty good you should bring him on and Ari tell anybody I didn't know what he was going to do but all I know it was a true all you had to do was tell a true story [2:09:42] And I was like, [2:09:44] perfect eric thought that i was going to do the story that i did on the second time that i was on [2:09:49] But I, and I'm like, [2:09:51] When I got there, I was listening to people's stories. [2:09:54] And I was like... [2:09:55] Now I'm going to do a lighter... [2:09:57] story because the second story is Mitchell. It's like when I was going to kill his CO. [2:10:03] And I was like, nah, I should do a lighter one. And then I did the prison ride, which is affectionately known as "Mexican Got on Boots." And R is like, best fucking story I ever heard. [2:10:13] me telling the story about a riot, a prison riot. [2:10:27] that was a whole ordeal. It wasn't a 16 minute ride, it was like [2:10:31] nine hours. Like, the whole thing is like nine hours. I only told the beginning part of it, which was...

[2:10:38] you know, pretty cool. You know what happened? I already lost the show, right? Yeah. Yeah. And so that... [2:10:44] So when the show came back, it was with Roy Woods. [2:10:48] They called me to do it. [2:10:51] And... [2:10:52] the loyal spirit. [2:10:54] in me. [2:10:55] I... [2:10:56] called [2:10:58] Ari first. [2:10:59] I was like, hey, they want me to do this show. I'm really not fucking with it. [2:11:03] And he's like, [2:11:04] No, no. [2:11:05] Do it. [2:11:06] I was like, what? [2:11:07] because I [2:11:08] I heard about all the stuff. He's like, man, do it. Eric is still shooting it. [2:11:13] He was saying, so you should do it. [2:11:15] Because we wanted you to be the host, but they didn't want you to. [2:11:19] to do it. You know, they got Roy, which is cool. I don't think they wanted anybody affiliated with Ari to do it. Yeah. [2:11:25] So we're punishing Ari. [2:11:27] So when they tell people why. [2:11:30] So for people that don't know, they already got a deal. He got an offer to do a Netflix special, and he wanted to do it. [2:11:37] And they wanted him to do the special on Comedy Central. And he said, well, I don't have to. It's not in my contract. They said, well, if you don't do it, we're going to cancel your show. [2:11:47] And he was like, wow. I can't believe you would do that. And that ain't what you tell Ari. Nope. [2:11:52] No. [2:11:53] So we were trying to figure it out. [2:11:55] I offered to host it for free. [2:11:57] I said, I will come in and host it. I'd already done it. [2:12:00] So I'll come in, I'll host it for no money. I go, because he wanted to make sure that everybody was paid. He was going to take out a loan. [2:12:07] And Ari was going to pay all the grips, all the camera people because they, you know, these people, they chart out their year. They're like, oh, I'm doing this is not happening for the next six weeks. And then I'm doing this for five weeks. And that's their year. And that's how they budget their life. And Ari decided that he was going to take out a loan.

[2:12:23] To pay everybody. [2:12:24] So... [2:12:25] And I'm like, wow. I go, listen, man. They go, tell Comedy Central that I'll host it for free. They weren't interested. They weren't interested in anybody affiliated with him. He offered up a bunch of other comics. Yep. They weren't interested. So I was in that group of the bunch because I know it was you. It was Joey. Joey. [2:12:42] Mm-hmm. Me... [2:12:44] Bird and... [2:12:46] they just got me to do it. Once Ari told me it was cool, we was like, man, do it. Yeah, Ari would never try to stop anybody from working. So what I went on and did... [2:12:57] in my protest [2:13:00] of [2:13:01] you know you didn't want Ari so [2:13:03] What I did was told a story. [2:13:05] about Ari. [2:13:09] I just told him, like, okay, cool. Like, my story is Mushroom Story, which is... [2:13:16] and Ari, I thought I was, yo, second season I did this show, Ari gave me [2:13:21] mushrooms. [2:13:24] And I went through the whole thing of what happened when Ari gave me the mushrooms. I ate the mushrooms. I didn't know that they were mushrooms mushrooms. I thought they were something else. And it was like I ate an eighth of mushrooms. And it was a long... [2:13:39] day. [2:13:41] What a rude thing to not tell you to not eat all of them. And I remember... [2:13:47] Janice was my assistant, and I remember I had to fly the next day, and I'm still gone. I'm out of my shit.

[2:13:56] So I get to the airport and I call Janice. I said, Janice. [2:14:00] people are going through [2:14:03] this machine [2:14:05] and then i'm not seeing him anymore [2:14:10] there's like he's nuts he's gone like and janice said they probably go into various places [2:14:16] I was like, [2:14:17] But I don't want to go to Varys. I want to go to Houston. So then when I get up to the TSA, I said, hey. [2:14:26] I'm seeing a lot of people go through this machine, and then I'm not seeing them anymore. [2:14:31] where they going? The man said, [2:14:33] Man, various places. And I got out the line. I called Jan. I said, "You are right. They are going to various." Jan's like, "He's nuts. He's losing it." I'm like, "Yo, I was so toasted." And just getting on the plane still full of mushrooms, I wanted to just close my eyes, but the shit just wasn't working. It was like, I was out of it. I never... Mushrooms is a crazy thing. [2:14:59] It's a crazy thing. And that same week, because I was there for a couple of days. [2:15:05] Joy Diaz gave me a black star. [2:15:12] And I remember calling somebody. He was like, yo, don't you eat that shit. Like, he said, if you want to lose it, don't you. But this episode of I'm on Joy Diaz. This is back when I was smoking. I took an edible drink. [2:15:25] with the, on the flying Jew.

[2:15:28] And me and him, it's like you literally see us. I was fine. [2:15:33] at first. [2:15:35] And then you, Joey's the only person that's in the studio that's still together. And you just slowly see us just melting. And then I know I was speaking very good English at one point. Then I was like, yeah. [2:15:51] Joey was like. [2:15:52] Oh. [2:15:52] I understand. I don't understand. The church of what's happening now had some of the greatest overdose on weed moments ever in the history of the Internet. Just Lee, just seeing Lee Syatt just melting. He can't keep his eyes open. He's just melting in his chair. It's like at first I was like, yo, he's tripping. Then I was and I'm like, this is not happening to me. Like, it was crazy. Joey Diaz doesn't give a fuck. And then I want to see the devil. [2:16:22] the other side of the story is another comic with me named billy sorrells he had taken some edibles but he ain't on the show so he's outside he didn't just melt it out like he's just sitting on the ground outside the studio like yo those black stars are 500 milligrams yo [2:16:44] This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast instead of doom-scrolling? Smart move. Another smart move? Getting help from one of State Farm's 19,000 local agents when you choose to bundle home and auto. Bundling. Just another way to save with the personal price plan. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state.

[2:17:10] Introducing Taco Bell's new jalapeno citrus salsa with bright citrus, real red jalapenos, guajillo chiles. Usually, you add sauce to the food, but when the sauce is this good, the food is just there to get the sauce to your mouth. That rolled quesadilla, not a rolled quesadilla anymore. Now it's a sauce shovel. Taco Bell's jalapeno citrus salsa. Get it with any item on the Cantina Chicken Menu while it's here. The participating U.S. Taco Bell locations for a limited time only. While supplies last, contact store for availability. [2:17:39] you [2:17:40] I've... That... [2:17:41] Yeah. [2:17:43] I saw Joey eat two of those once. [2:17:45] He just chucked down two of them. I'm like, that is so crazy. That's so much. You know, Jamie doesn't feel it. [2:17:54] Edibles don't work on him. [2:17:56] Jamie's got some weird fucking biological condition. Throw it at me. I'll try it. Yeah, I'm not afraid. He doesn't just doesn't give a fuck. He's not scared of edibles at all. I've done two different types of mushrooms. I didn't know that there were. It's like the ones where I was really on one. That's the one that R gave me. And then there's some other ones that made me very talkative. [2:18:18] Look at Lee Drool on his shirt Bro he's in another dimension right now He can't keep the headphones on He doesn't know what to do Oh [2:18:40] Joey's the best They're back They're doing it again They're back? They're back together again Oh man Are they doing it out of New Jersey? Is that what they're doing?

[2:18:49] It has to be. Yeah. Yeah. [2:18:51] he's the best yeah i remember i called moses malone for um joey because he's the big moses malone fan before moses died i called like you know moses malone no fucking way you know moses i'm like yeah i know fucking moses and then moses was moses was nuts too [2:19:08] like most malone was a fucking nut have you heard about these new mushrooms that make you see little tiny people [2:19:15] I don't know. No, I haven't. The targeted ones were [2:19:18] Like I called a lot of people. [2:19:21] on my phone and and everybody's same report was you know you call me like three in the morning time you want to talk to me about my life i'm like [2:19:30] Which ones are those? What did you take? [2:19:33] It's not psilocybin? It's something different? Yeah, it's something different. It made me very tough. Delay, I told Delay about him. I don't know what that would be. It's a comedy name, Delay. I told him about him because I called him and I talked to him. [2:19:46] for like hours. [2:19:48] just about, so then he end up [2:19:51] taking the same mushrooms. He called me and I knew what it was. I was like, go ahead, just talk. [2:19:58] He was talking his ass off. I had put the phone down and went to sleep. I woke up, he was still talking. I was like, yo, this shit is crazy. What is it? Man, I got it. Jimmy, put that into perplexity. [2:20:10] I got a call. Put that into our AI sponsor and find out what mushrooms make you talkative. Yeah, I know who gave them to me, so I call her and ask, hey, what was the shrooms that you gave me? Because she went and bought them, and I was a fucking talkative mess. I don't know what that is. I've never heard of that before. Most of the time when people take shrooms, they can't talk. It's like, oh. No, I was on one.

[2:20:32] That's crazy. I wonder what that is. Because the ones that Ari gave me. It's just magic mushrooms just in general. Huh. Some people's response to it. Yeah, but it seems that there's different responses to different ones. I know what I'm saying. On the screen, it says what I just said. Huh. I don't think there's enough research for perplexity to have an educated answer. Right? How much research are they doing out there? Talkative social on magic mushrooms, but there's no specific mushroom reliably proven to make you talkative. [2:21:02] you see little people. Yeah, that's different. [2:21:04] I know. I know, but I want to see what perplexity has to say about it. [2:21:08] or something. [2:21:08] What does perplexity say? Ask it about, is there a mushroom that makes you see little people? [2:21:15] Let's see if it really is up on its psychedelic science. I mean, it's just going to repeat the articles I just pulled out. I – but what – [2:21:22] I want to see what it says though. [2:21:24] It's just a question to see. [2:21:26] how it handles this. [2:21:29] Yes. [2:21:30] A specific edible mushroom called lanmoa. [2:21:35] Asiatica. [2:21:37] has been reported to cause very vivid hallucinations. You say hallucinations. Maybe they're really little people right there. Of little people, when it's undercooked, a phenomenon known as Lilliputian hallucinations. So the thing is, how do you know it's a hallucination? [2:21:53] Maybe you just now can see these things that people have been writing about for eons. How ignorant are people and how arrogant are we that we know everything that's going on all around us all the time? We don't. People have always thought gremlins were real and gnomes were real.

[2:22:09] It varies. Studying that since the 60s. Of course they have been. I'm studying it right now. Let's study. Let's go study mushrooms. Man. Yeah, they've been studying it, but the real problem is there's got to be a bunch of – I know for sure there's other strains that are much more potent because I know a guy who's a mushroom guy. He's like deep in the world of mushrooms, and he was explaining to me that there's one that's like 10x stronger, and there's new ones that they found. [2:22:39] found a new one [2:22:40] I want to say in China they found a new hallucinogenic mushroom. But this one, this Lilliputian one is weird because it's not psilocybin. It's not when it's cooked. This has something to do with cooking it. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Once you know what you're supposed to eat them raw. No, I think this might be the Chinese one. [2:22:56] Because I think it's a – is it? Yeah, okay. So this is – I conflated the joke. So they eat it. If you cook it and you do a real good job cooking it, you don't trip. But apparently some people have not cooked it and eaten it and go, oh, wait a minute. What are we cooking out of this? [2:23:12] When you're, you might be cooking out whatever the mushroom is giving you to let you see the spirit world or see the fairy world or the gnome world or whatever it is. You can get it in restaurants. Let's go. I'd be like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Undercook my. [2:23:27] Just put it on some salad dressing. Send that shit out. Let's go. I don't have a, unfortunately, I don't have a problem with mushrooms. I think that, and I just like being. Unfortunately? What do you mean? Because, you know, some people are like, you shouldn't be on there.

[2:23:42] But I don't have a problem with mushrooms, especially if I'm in a [2:23:47] in a safe environment. [2:23:49] but [2:23:50] being at the lows on mushrooms that's not that's not the best place to be like also trying to fight it if you fight it you're fucked [2:24:00] If you start going and you start, no, I don't like this. Like, uh-oh. It's going to get dark on you. Trying to wrestle with it. I've had them in chocolate, like little chocolate squares, and it's been... [2:24:13] It's been a time. I don't... It's been a time. Sometimes it can get rough. To see little people... [2:24:19] I definitely want to be somewhere. [2:24:22] What? [2:24:24] I just need to be somewhere safe. - Brian Simpson has a hilarious story about, someone gave him a mushroom chocolate bar. [2:24:31] And he put it in his freezer and forgot. [2:24:33] Forgot that it was a mushroom bar, and they just ate the whole thing. [2:24:37] And just went to Pluto. [2:24:43] He's like Dr. Manhattan sitting on Mars. Fucking lotus position. This one's kind of strange. It says it doesn't matter who you are or what. [2:24:52] You do. You're going to have the same experience as everybody else who's done it. Okay. At that point in time, when do we start to say maybe there's something in this substance, this compound, this molecule that lets you interact with something that's real, that's around you? If it's repeatable over and over and over again, if all these people see the same thing over and over and over again, and people have been writing about it since the beginning of time, they've been writing about elves and fairies and gnomes and magic people in the woods –

[2:25:20] What do you think they were doing? They were probably eating these fucking mushrooms. [2:25:23] this is show that I watch that I still don't know. [2:25:29] what this show is about [2:25:31] But I've watched, I'm on season number four. [2:25:34] And I have no idea what it's called from. Ah, I've been watching it. I love that show. [2:25:40] I'm in the middle of season four right now. [2:25:42] And so, you know, he's taking mushrooms. The one guy did. Yeah. Well, you spoiler alert. No, but you know. But you know already. Big spoiler. I know, but the people that listen don't know. Hey, it's still going to be fantastic. Don't fuck this up. [2:25:53] It's good. No, it's on MGM. No, they're moving it. They're moving it? Oh, shit. One of these new shows that's been talked about is getting moved. No, no, no. That's still on Paramount. Yeah. I think it's MGM. I think it's at MGM. Yo. Great fucking show. Yeah. Very original. I still. People. From is officially on Netflix. There it is. I don't understand. Oh, damn. [2:26:16] Oh, wait a minute. Hold on. Maybe it's on Netflix as well. Yeah, that's all I was saying. Oh, that's what it is. It debuted on Epix. [2:26:30] There's no rules. And so I called my director. I said, hey, I want to make a show. [2:26:38] that [2:26:40] is about [2:26:41] whatever we doing. [2:26:43] And he was like, well, give me an example. And I say, watch from. Like, I've watched all of us. I cannot tell you...

[2:26:51] what this show is about. It's like, I just know that this shit is good. For people that don't know, that want to watch it, it's people trapped in this town. [2:27:00] They're all the same circumstance. There's a downed tree in the road. They can't go further. So they turn around and they find themselves in a loop that keeps leading them through this town. To the same town. Over and over and over and over again. And no one in the town can escape. Right. [2:27:14] and at nighttime, [2:27:15] Monsters come out and they look like people. They look like a mailman. They look very normal. That's scary ass milkman. [2:27:22] That milkman is insane. That old lady that knocks in the window. Terrifying. It's a terrifying show. It gives me anxiety and I know it's all fake. [2:27:33] It's a crazy... [2:27:36] Show. [2:27:37] Yeah. [2:27:39] season four is even more bizarre. Yeah. [2:27:42] Like... [2:27:43] Everything that I be thinking, [2:27:46] I was like, yo, I think this is what it is. And then it doesn't be that, but then it come. And I'm like, see? But I'm like, see what? Like, what am I? Like, I don't know the... [2:27:57] Freak this show is going. No one knows where it's going. But it's like Lost. The same people that made Lost made that show. Word? Yeah. That's why. It has that same sort of feel. Like crazy. [2:28:09] You can't predict what's going to happen. You cannot predict. Nothing makes sense. Very entertaining. Lloyd tickles the shit out of it. Lloyd is mad about every goddamn thing.

[2:28:23] It's crazy, but it's very interesting. I don't miss it. I love it. [2:28:26] Yeah, I've been binging it. So I started – [2:28:30] I guess me and my wife started about [2:28:32] a month ago or so, and we burned through the first three seasons. [2:28:38] And now we're into the fourth. [2:28:40] Yep. [2:28:40] Yeah, it's good. [2:28:41] And I think the next season's coming out in 2027. But I don't know how they – I think the next season's the last season, unless they decide to keep it going. [2:28:49] Finale. It's the finale? They just announced that it's going to be the last season. Maybe when that money comes rolling in. But the thing about this kind of show is you can do whatever you want. Yeah. You can go back in time. You can do wild shit. I don't want to give anything away, but there's no rules. Yes. [2:29:05] You can make anything happen. You can make anything. It's a very strange show, but it's very entertaining is oh man It's a very entertaining show. Yeah, but if you want to just sit at home and watch it and not do anything man You never picked a better time to be alive [2:29:23] You could waste your whole life just staring at a screen and like when I ask people because I'm up my palate for what I take in is [2:29:33] is different than a lot of people you and i turn people on to a show like when i turn my boy on the pinky blinders i was like pinky blinders is a great show like yo you gotta watch people he called me [2:29:44] it was like yo this is crazy and i remember my boy delay got so invested in um what was the first show the motorcycle show that i turned him on to

[2:29:54] I know what you're talking about. [2:29:57] I never watched it. [2:29:59] What is that show? That motorcycle show that everybody liked? [2:30:02] You know what I'm talking about, Jamie? That's it. Sons of Anarchy. I turned him on to Sons of Anarchy. And it's a person on there that you kind of get invested in. And I remember he called me. [2:30:13] and said something about him and I was like [2:30:15] Yo, who? Like, who? What'd you say? Yeah. [2:30:18] And I'm putting on my shoes. And then I notice... [2:30:22] Are you talking about the person on Sunday? He said, yeah, that's fucked up what they did. [2:30:29] I was like, yo, you're a crazy man. He's like, no, I'm so invested. [2:30:34] Yeah. [2:30:34] I was like, yo, man, you are a wild person. [2:30:38] you know, Sons of Anarchy, Pinky Blinders, like, I was big on Yellowstone, and now the two spinoffs of Yellowstone, Marshalls [2:30:48] And the Dutton Ranch, I can't. [2:30:51] not watch it. It's some good shows out there. [2:30:57] I just can't watch the typical... [2:31:00] stuff. I gotta watch something that has a little more [2:31:03] to it than [2:31:04] what [2:31:06] normal people would watch. Because I like to see normal people... [2:31:11] in shows, like something I can relate to that doesn't rants, you know, being [2:31:15] Texas [2:31:17] how ranching is, this is how I always experience how [2:31:23] branching goals with [2:31:24] cows and and how you keep your land and all these different fights that people have over land i'm like shit is shit is pretty interesting it's very interesting

[2:31:35] Taylor Sheridan is a friend of mine the guy made that [2:31:38] He was on here the other day. [2:31:41] Talking about it, but the other show that I love is land man same kind of deal. It's all about the oil industry. Yeah You just realize like oh, Jesus. Is this how all this works? Yeah, it's other things happening in life and is way more notorious people then [2:31:56] A drug dealing show [2:31:58] This is... [2:32:00] Man, crude oil is a business. So it's such a big business. Of course, you're going to get devious shit going on. You're going to get shit happening. Has to. [2:32:09] Yeah. The real world of oil must be nuts. [2:32:12] It must be nuts. I mean, that's why we're in war right now. [2:32:17] ruthless you know with oil like that's a big thing and i don't understand fake meat like why would people be giving somebody fake meat [2:32:27] Well, because they make money selling fake meat. [2:32:29] That's why. I mean, that's what a lot of people were trying to push while they're saying that cows are bad. Cows, the methane, the environment, man. [2:32:39] It's bullshit. [2:32:39] All they're doing is trying to – someone is pushing this idea that we need to stop eating meat because they're profiting off of us not eating meat. That's what it is. [2:32:48] That's all it is. It's not bad for you. It's good for you. You need it. Protein. It's super healthy and one of the best foods in the world for you. There's just a bunch of horse shit out there saying that we need to eat less meat for the environment. [2:33:00] No, we need to figure out how to not pollute. That's for sure. But regenerative farms aren't polluting. You're full of shit. It's not true.

[2:33:08] If you want to say we need to stop doing factory farming, okay, maybe. Yeah, that's probably a good thing to do. But you need to figure out how to feed all these fucking people. You've developed a system that's entirely reliant on massive amounts of animals moving through. The amount of chickens that people eat in America every day is huge. [2:33:27] crazy. [2:33:29] What are the amount of chickens that get consumed in America every day? Let's guess. [2:33:36] 20 million. At least. [2:33:38] At least. [2:33:40] I want to say 50 million. 50 million chickens a day. [2:33:43] How many million chickens a day get killed? [2:33:45] Well... [2:33:46] That's a different question. Oh, okay. How many do we eat? How many millions of chickens do we eat every day in America? Yeah. [2:33:52] Because I know I can account for three in my house. [2:33:56] 22 million chickens every day, son. That's nuts. [2:34:02] That is a crazy amount. That's way bigger than the entire residence of Los Angeles. If every person was a chicken – [2:34:10] We eat that amount in this country every day. That's crazy. In my home alone, if we roasting chicken... [2:34:19] If we're going to get a roast chicken, we're going to get three of them. Because it's going to... I didn't even know that I could eat a whole chicken by myself. [2:34:25] until I did it. [2:34:29] It's like, yo, man, this Muslim... [2:34:33] Um... [2:34:34] Grocery store they sell them in there is already roasted and you get two garlic sauces with each chicken and Once you dip a piece of that chicken in their garlic sauce. It's not gonna survive like It's like I've bought three of them because I know if two are gonna make it home I have to eat this one by myself and they put on a piece of pita bread. It's already roasted and

[2:34:57] It's insane that I would eat a whole chicken by myself. [2:35:00] Estimates suggest 24 to 26 million chickens are killed every day in the United States for meat. So if you don't want factory farming, you've got to figure out a solution where you can get 26 million chickens a day. [2:35:15] you convince people they need to stop eating meat. [2:35:17] But if we look at like say if I'm looking at a show [2:35:22] game-a-thons or [2:35:24] House of Dragons. [2:35:26] When I would see them sit down to eat. [2:35:29] It was a lot of meat. [2:35:30] on that table. Variations of me. I've never seen the king sit down. It wasn't a whole entire... [2:35:39] pig on the table. And then if you, most people haven't bought a lamb. [2:35:46] And you think that [2:35:48] A lamb is enough. [2:35:50] It depends on who's there. [2:35:54] If it's Ed... [2:35:56] and it's after the fast, and you put a lamb on a spew, and all these Muslim families come to your house, that's not enough. You need another lamb. You need two lambs. Like, whole lambs. Like, it's... [2:36:09] Man, this meat is delicious. [2:36:12] It's great for you, too. Don't let anybody tell you any different. They can, but I'm not really listening. When somebody tell me about a vegan... [2:36:21] situation. I'll listen to you. [2:36:24] But none of it... [2:36:26] is going in. It's like, you know, I say something comes in one ear, go out the other. It's not even going in the ear. It's like I've already made my decision. Okay, I'll be, but I'm not really listening to you. I'm eating the lamb.

[2:36:40] Goat. I mean it. Life eats life. [2:36:43] It's just the factory farming thing is the uncomfortable part. [2:36:46] That's the gross part. [2:36:48] And if you just were on a ranch, it's natural. [2:36:51] If you want to get overtaken [2:36:54] Just let the animals just do their thing. Chocolate. [2:36:57] and see how many, see, see, don't you see a, I am legend taught you that. It's like, yo, how many antlers ran through a, a, a place of a stampede? Like it's a, so even like with, with the thing that happens in the ocean, sardines, right? [2:37:16] So all these mass sardines come one spot, then the whales come first, then the sharks come, and then... [2:37:25] then we still get sardines. [2:37:28] After all these... [2:37:29] this ecosystem is eating, we still get sardines. You're not running out of natural, if you let everything do its thing. You know how many jellyfish? Somebody should start eating them. [2:37:41] Because that is a crazy. Jellyfish can mob out. Like mob out. And they can kill you. And they can kill you. Somebody eat them. [2:37:52] Something eats them. You can eat them at Chinese restaurants. I've had jellyfish before. [2:37:56] Was it good? I don't remember it being good. [2:37:59] I don't remember where I ate it. [2:38:00] But I remember someone cooked a specific type of jellyfish. And I was like, okay. I didn't even know you could cook that. In Texas and Louisiana. What kind of jellyfish are edible? [2:38:09] In Texas and Louisiana.

[2:38:11] The amount of crawfish that we eat [2:38:15] In two months... [2:38:16] It's literally insane. Imagine if they didn't. [2:38:19] Imagine me crawfish would be. [2:38:21] Imagine. I know I can account for at least 50 pounds by myself. [2:38:29] Think of how many crawfish there would be if people weren't eating them. [2:38:32] Like when I was a kid, I grew up in Florida for a while. We lived in Florida in Gainesville, and there was allergies there. Gainesville, Florida. But they were protected. [2:38:39] Wow. Back then, the alligators were protected. Like the Everglades? Yeah. [2:38:43] Well, it wasn't the Everglades quite – okay, hold on. Edible jellyfish. Best known edible species used in Asian cuisine – [2:38:51] Oh boy, try to say that word. [2:38:53] Rope-ill-a-ma... [2:38:55] Escalentum, often referred to as the Japanese edible jellyfish. That's a lot easier. Or flame jellyfish. [2:39:03] So there's a few different species. [2:39:05] of jellyfish. [2:39:07] Anyway, my point was when I was a kid, alligators were protected, and they were at this lake, and you could see them, and people would throw marshmallows in the water, and the alligators would eat them. [2:39:16] And then now there's... [2:39:20] Too many. There's so many alligators there now. They can't get rid of them. They're in every body of water. Everywhere you go, there's alligators. [2:39:28] the entire Everglades is filled with alligators golf course is filled with alligators I remember when they [2:39:35] when that kid got eaten. [2:39:37] Oh, Disney World? Yeah, and I was like, yo, that's insanity.

[2:39:42] Because I don't trust a puddle of water in Florida. No. No. [2:39:46] a puddle it could be a puddle I'm like it's an alligator but what they removed 400 some odd [2:39:54] Alligators from Disney World. Oh, they remove them all the time. [2:39:57] They have to check every day. They have to go back there and make sure that there's no alligators. It's like a huge number. It's a huge number. Like maybe 24 this year, 40 or something this year, but it's 400 or something overall. Like that's insane. You know, Disney World has a bass fishing lake. [2:40:14] You can go bass fishing at Disney World. [2:40:16] There's like a little trip that you take. You go there. 414 alligators removed from Disney World since toddler's death 10 years ago. [2:40:26] That's a lot of monsters. [2:40:28] It's a lot of monsters, man. They're legit monsters. [2:40:32] I remember when I was in Guam, I was in Guam doing a show and I think the military moved there and it was a bird that they were trying to protect. And so they killed all these snakes. And this is how, when you change the ecosystem to something, something happens. So, [2:40:49] The snakes... [2:40:50] Not only were they eating that bird. [2:40:52] but they were eating in controlling the [2:40:55] Toad population. [2:40:57] so when they got rid of the snake [2:40:59] we were coming back from the show... [2:41:03] And it's like, it's literally... [2:41:05] Hundreds of thousands. [2:41:08] of frogs that come out at night. [2:41:10] everywhere it's like you they you just see them flat in the street where you because you can't not you can't miss them they it was hundreds of thousands of frogs on guam and i was like yo man people fuck up everything they got to do something people metal yeah they're gonna bring the snake back yeah gotta bring the snake stop

[2:41:33] Stop. [2:41:34] Stop your bullshit. [2:41:36] people just meddle I mean there's so many countries that are infested with animals that people brought in to kill other animals you know like Australia has a giant feral cat problem [2:41:48] They brought in feral cats, I think, to kill a... I forget what species. I think it was a toad they were trying to kill off. My neighborhood has a goddamn cat problem. My neighborhood is like, one cat has some babies. [2:42:02] And... [2:42:03] My family has something to do with it. We fed the cat and then shit. Of course. Shit. [2:42:08] Of course. You want to be nice. Meanwhile, they're killing billions of birds every year in this country. [2:42:15] Cats, I love cats. I love cats too. They kill billions. House cats kill billions of birds and mammals in this country every year. You don't have a bug problem if you have a cat in your house. We have these water bugs. They call them cockroaches. But [2:42:30] I've watched it before I left the cat that just outside. He was just slapping one around. It's like five of them dead out there. He's just slapping one around like. [2:42:38] just toying with him. I'm like, [2:42:40] But- [2:42:40] I don't mind because then they never make it into my house. It's like cats are. You know about the four pest campaign that happened in China? What is that? What did they do? It explains it to you in just these little four. Under Mao aimed at exterminating rats, flies, mosquitoes, and sparrows as a part of the Great Leap Forward. It was framed as a public hygiene and agricultural protection drive meant to reduce disease and protect grain from being eaten or contaminated.

[2:41:30] Stop. [2:41:31] Stop your bullshit. [2:41:32] People just meddle. I mean, there's so many countries that are infested with animals that people brought in to kill other animals. You know, like Australia has a giant feral cat problem. [2:41:44] They brought in feral cats, I think, to kill a... I forget what species. I think it was a toad they were trying to kill off. My neighborhood has a goddamn cat problem. Like, in my neighborhood, it's like one cat has some babies. [2:41:59] And... [2:42:00] My family has something to do with it. We fed the cat and then shit. Of course. [2:42:05] Of course. You want to be nice. Meanwhile, they're killing billions of birds every year in this country. [2:42:11] I love cats too. They kill billions, house cats kill billions of birds and mammals in this country every year. You don't have a bug problem if you have a cat in your house. We have these water bugs, they call them cockroaches. But... [2:42:26] I've watched it before I left the cat that just outside he was just slapping one around. It's like five of them dead out there. He's just slapping one around like. [2:42:34] just toying with him. I'm like, [2:42:36] But-- [2:42:37] i don't mind because then they never make it into my house it's like cats are you know about the four pest campaign that happened in china [2:42:46] What is that? What did they do? It explains it to you in just these little four points. Under Mao, aimed at exterminating rats, flies, mosquitoes, and sparrows as a part of the Great Leap Forward. It was framed as a public hygiene and agricultural protection drive meant to reduce disease and protect grain from being eaten or contaminated. Mass mobilization methods included trapping and poisoning rats, swatting flies and mosquitoes, and organized efforts to scare and kill sparrows.

[2:43:10] and organized efforts to scare and kill sparrows. [2:43:15] Before you get to the end here, they had one little problem, so they introduced something else to fix that problem. That created a new problem, so they introduced something else to fix that problem. [2:43:26] Tens of millions of people dying from a famine because they didn't have the natural ecosystem. This is correct. So sparrows were targeted because they ate grain seeds, but they also consumed large numbers of crop-eating insects. Their near extinction caused an ecological imbalance, leading to insect population booms, lower crop yields, and contributing to Chinese famine, the Great Chinese Famine, which tens of millions died. Wow. You got to give something to get something. [2:43:56] the nature, you dumb fuck. [2:43:57] You got to give something to get to it. There's a balance out there, and we don't totally understand that balance. What's this fish that we have now? Asian carp. [2:44:07] The one that's infested, all the different lakes. And then the snake head, that's another one. Then the joint that torpedoes up. Oh, that's the Asian carp. Yeah. They fly through the air when you're in a boat. Yeah. They just, for whatever reason, when you're in a boat, they just try to throw themselves onto the boat. [2:44:24] They're like, get me the fuck out of this lake. There's so many of them. And they don't have a natural predator. And they bring them into places sometimes to clean up the algae. And then also, now you have a carp problem. [2:44:37] the algae. They eat everything. Your whole lake looks like a swimming pool. There's no algae left. Look at these fucking things.

[2:43:12] Before you get to the end here, they had one little problem, so they introduced something else to fix that problem. That created a new problem, so they introduced something else to fix that problem. Yeah. It ended here with... [2:43:22] Tens of millions of people dying from a famine because they didn't have the natural ecosystem. This is correct. So sparrows were targeted because they ate grain seeds, but they also consumed large numbers of crop-eating insects. Their near extinction caused an ecological imbalance, leading to insect population booms, lower crop yields, and contributing to Chinese famine, the Great Chinese Famine, which tens of millions died. Wow. You got to give something to get something. [2:43:52] than nature, you dumb fuck. [2:43:54] You got to give something to get to. There's a balance out there, and we don't totally understand that balance. What's this fish that we have now? Asian carp. [2:44:04] The one that's infested, all the different lakes. And then the snake head, that's another one. Then the joint that torpedoes up. Oh, that's the Asian carp. Yeah. They fly through the air when you're in a boat. Yeah. They just, for whatever reason, when you're in a boat, they just try to throw themselves onto the boat. [2:44:20] They're like, get me the fuck out of this lake. There's so many of them. And they don't have a natural predator. And they bring them into places sometimes to clean up the algae. And then also, now you have a carp problem. [2:44:34] the algae. They eat everything. Your whole lake looks like a swimming pool. There's no algae left. Look at these fucking things. [2:44:40] That is... [2:44:41] Crazy.

[2:44:44] That is... [2:44:45] Crazy! [2:44:46] That's the Illinois River. [2:44:48] I mean, this is just hundreds of fish just flying through the air everywhere they go. [2:44:52] How nuts is that? You ever see people, they shoot them with bows and arrows? So they wait for them to hop up in the air and they try to catch them in the air with a bow and arrow. With the string on it. Oh, yeah, yeah. There's a bunch of people do that. That's a very popular sport. [2:45:08] Is this fish edible? I don't know. I've never heard of anybody. I know people eat regular carp. I don't know if Asian is Asian carp edible. [2:45:18] Yep, there you go. [2:45:20] It's lean and nutritious? It has a clean, mild flavor. So I would just have a net rolling behind me. Filet-o-fish. There you go. [2:45:29] Don't you guys need product? [2:45:30] There you go. Get out there with bows and arrows and get it done. How many crawfish does Texas and Louisiana consume in crawfish season? That's a good question. I guess you would have to do it in pounds, right? Would you do it in pounds or millions of actual crawfish? Because they don't measure them in individuals. [2:45:50] By weight right? [2:45:51] because they're kind of little. Yeah, they go by weight. How many pounds of crawfish do you think? Texas, just say Texas and Louisiana in a year. [2:46:00] $50 million? [2:46:02] I have to ask again, but it did give me 90% of the farm crawfish comes from Louisiana. [2:46:09] 90% how many pounds? [2:46:12] give me the answer. [2:46:13] Thank you.

[2:44:43] That's the Illinois River. [2:44:44] I mean, this is just hundreds of fish just flying through the air everywhere they go. [2:44:49] How nuts is that? You ever see people, they shoot them with bows and arrows? So they wait for them to hop up in the air and they try to catch them in the air with a bow and arrow. With the string on it. Oh, yeah, yeah. There's a bunch of people do that. That's a very popular sport. [2:45:05] Is this fish edible? I don't know. I've never heard of anybody. I know people eat regular carp. I don't know if Asian is Asian carp edible. [2:45:14] Yep, there you go. [2:45:17] It's lean and nutritious? It has a clean, mild flavor. So I would just have a net rolling behind me. Filet-O-Fish. There you go. [2:45:25] Don't you guys need product? [2:45:27] There you go. Get out there with your bows and arrows and get it done. How many crawfish does Texas and Louisiana consume in crawfish season? That's a good question. I guess you would have to do it in pounds, right? Would you do it in pounds or millions of actual crawfish? Because they don't measure them in individuals. [2:45:46] weight right? [2:45:48] Because they're cow little. They go by weight. How many pounds of crawfish do you think? Texas, just say Texas and Louisiana in a year. [2:45:56] Oh, man. 50 million? [2:45:58] I have to ask again, but it did give me 90% of the farm crawfish comes from Louisiana. [2:46:06] 90%. How many pounds? [2:46:09] Give me the answer. [2:46:10] Thank you. [2:46:10] How many pounds does Texas and Louisiana consume in a year?

[2:46:14] How many pounds does Texas and Louisiana consume in a year? [2:46:21] I'm going to say 2 million of pounds. [2:46:23] No, I forgot to be pointed at it. Really? Two million pounds is a lot. It's fucking way more than that. What is it? What is 70% of the consumed amount is eaten in Louisiana in the United States? [2:46:36] And the total is a... [2:46:37] Upwards of 150 million pounds. [2:46:41] 120 to 150 million annually. [2:46:44] Whoa. Just in Louisiana. 70%, which is almost 100 million pounds of that is just in Louisiana. [2:46:51] between crawfish boils and crawfish egg touffet that is fucking delicious hey that's delicious dang that is a crazy thing this doesn't have a number it just says tens of millions well all we need now we've got the louisiana i would thought they'll be to double with the whole country like crazy like maryland actually thinks that they [2:47:16] are big on crap. And we just be shaking our head like, okay. [2:47:24] I think we ship crap to them. The Chesapeake Bay cannot outdo the Gulf of Mexico. Gulf of America now, by the way. It is. We still Gulf of Mexico. I don't think Mexico agreed. He's like, no. I don't think they did either.

[2:46:18] I'm going to say two million pounds. [2:46:20] No, I've got to be more than that. Really? Two million pounds is a lot. It's fucking way more than that. What is it? What is 70% of the consumed amount is eaten in Louisiana? [2:46:32] And the total is a [2:46:34] upwards of 150 million pounds. [2:46:37] Yeah, I'm trying to tell you. $120 million to $150 million annually. [2:46:41] whoa yeah just in louisiana 70 which is almost 100 million pounds of that is just in louisiana [2:46:48] between crawfish boils and crawfish egg duvet that is fucking delicious hey that's delicious that's a crazy thing this doesn't have a number it's just tens of millions well all we need we've got the louisiana i would have thought they'll be to double with the whole country that's crazy like maryland actually thinks that they [2:47:12] are big on crap. And we just be shaking our head like, okay. [2:47:20] I think we ship crap to them. The Chesapeake Bay cannot outdo the Gulf of Mexico. Gulf of America now, by the way. It is. We still Gulf of Mexico. I don't think Mexico agreed. He's like, no. I don't think they did either. [2:47:42] The Gulf of America. We still, like, we're not saying that. That's hilarious.

[2:47:46] The Gulf of America. We still, like, we're not saying that. That's hilarious. [2:47:52] Hey, brother. It's great to talk to you again, as always. It's always fun. Very good to do. Thank you. Do it more often. [2:47:59] Man, I'm here. Okay, let's do it. It's always fun. Tell everybody if they want to consume all your specials. All of it's on YouTube. All of it's on YouTube, but you can go to AliSadiq.com. The new special out of My Father is... [2:48:14] getting busy right now. [2:48:17] It is a [2:48:18] This is a great special. [2:48:21] it really is. Where did you record this? That was in Detroit. [2:48:25] beautiful like i said um i love what you do i love the fact that you're you're so prolific and you know that you've built this whole thing just just on the hard work so congratulations [2:48:55] Buyer's remorse. Buy a new car? I'll be moving in. Let's get started. Uh, sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana. You what? Yeah, great price. I even have seven days to love it or return it. So there's no... No, no buyer's remorse. More like buyer's rejoice? Ugh, I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it. Buyer's rejoice. Buy your car today on Carvana. Limitations and exclusions may apply. See our seven-day return policy at Carvana.com.

[2:47:49] Hey, brother. It's great to talk to you again, as always. It's always fun. Very good to do. Thank you. Do it more often. Man, I'm here. Okay, let's do it. It's always fun. Tell everybody if they want to consume all your specials. All of it's on YouTube. [2:48:11] getting busy right now um [2:48:14] It is a... [2:48:15] this is a great special. [2:48:18] Where did you record this? That was in Detroit. [2:48:22] beautiful like i said um i love what you do i love the fact that you're you're so prolific and you know that you've built this whole thing just just on the hard work so congratulations appreciate you thank you very much it was good to see you [2:48:50] At ZocDoc, we know being a healthy adult is like living in a video game. Every day has side quests, taxes, laundry, birthdays. And just when you're leveling up, you have to book a doctor. The insurance portal crashes. They put you on hold. Your doctor doesn't take your plan. Game over. We see you. So we made booking a doctor easy. Download ZocDoc. Search by specialty, insurance, and availability. Book instantly. No cheat codes required. Find a doctor you love with ZocDoc.

[2:49:25] knee is killing me. But I can't stop training. The marathon is in two weeks. Let's get on ZocDoc and find a doctor to take a look at that for you. Okay. Here's a review. Dr. Crowder really takes his time. No. I don't have time. What about Dr. Charles? His patients say he can help find a quick fix. And he's in network. Great. Now we're talking. Book it. Booked. One mile down. 19 to go. Bring it on. You've got options. Download the ZocDoc app today.