He's negotiated $1B+ in executive compensation. Here's his playbook. | Jacob Warwick

[00:00] What's the most common mistake that people make when they're negotiating their comp? Often we'll hide behind the easiest communication channel possible. I might email you my demands. The problem with that is I can't control tone. If I push back and the CEO that reads it's in the airport security line and pissed off and they read it, they might be like, that bastard wants more money. A lot of people listening to this are just afraid to ask for more. I'm going to come across as greedy. It's all going to fall apart. But when you look at the money that the company is making in comparison, like you're not being greedy. [00:30] an aggressive thing. It doesn't have to be confrontational. The simplest advice is what's the chance there could be a little more? That's not greedy at all. The core to your philosophy is make it very clear to the company, here's the pain I will solve for you and here's why it's worth paying me this much more. These companies have significant leverage over you. They know what people make, they know what others make, they know what they'll accept. You have to understand what value you can create and if you understand that value, you can have that conversation with confidence. [00:57] Today my guest is Jacob Warwick. Jacob is a professional negotiator. [01:02] He works behind the scenes with his clients, mostly senior tech execs, professional athletes, and Hollywood celebrities. And he helps them navigate their most complex career negotiations. [01:12] including their comp, their bonuses and investments, also M&A and takeovers and enterprise sales deals and more. [01:20] He's helped his clients secure over $1 billion in additional comp. And he's told me that he's negotiated against a number of guests on this podcast. He is very much under the radar, is not on social media, rarely does interviews. And in this exclusive conversation, we get super deep on the specific tactics and psychology of comp negotiation.

[01:40] including why you should never negotiate over email, who should speak first when the question of comp comes up, the most common and costly mistakes that people unknowingly make when they're negotiating comp, [01:51] and so much more. Jacob is also just a truly stellar human and I'm very excited to be sharing his story. Don't forget to check out Lenny's Product Pass.com for an incredible set of deals available exclusively to Lenny's newsletter subscribers [02:03] Let's get into it after a short word from our wonderful sponsors. This episode is brought to you by Orcus, the company behind Open Source Conductor, the orchestration platform powering modern enterprise applications. Modern systems are built on microservices, APIs, and event-driven architectures. But legacy automation tools can't keep up. Siloed, low-code platforms, outdated process management, and disconnected API tooling break down under real-world scale and constant change. [02:33] orchestration layer for coordinating microservices, APIs, data pipelines, human tasks, and agentic workflows with deterministic control flow, retries, observability, and governance. Built for enterprise scale, Orkis supports visual and code-first development with built-in compliance and reliability. Through a built-in MCP gateway, AI agents handle reasoning and decision-making while safely accessing existing APIs and internal systems as MCP tools. This enables agents to [03:03] environments and scale from demos to production, orchestrating systems, agents, and humans together to deliver smarter outcomes faster. Learn more at orkis.io slash Lenny. That's O-R-K-E-S dot I-O slash Lenny. This episode is brought to you by Mercury, radically different banking loved by over 300,000 entrepreneurs, including me. I switched to Mercury from Chase over a year ago, and it is such a profoundly better experience. It's like an actual product person built a bank

[03:33] banking person building a product. It is fast, it's elegant, it is super easy to set wires, to track my spending, to set up triggers, to move money around when accounts get low. We moved all of our invoicing to Mercury and it is such a smoother experience than anything else we've tried. It's also really easy to grant people on your team just the right amount of access to help take work off your plate. It's free to get started, no in-person visits, no minimum balances. The product also flexes to all sizes of company, from startups to large enterprises. Just visit [04:03] and apply online in minutes. Mercury is a fintech company, not an FDIC-insured bank. Banking services provided through Choice Financial Group and Column NA members FDIC. [04:16] jacob thank you so much for being here welcome to the podcast [04:20] I'm very happy to be here, and thank you for interfering with my sleep all week out of my excitement. Usually it's my newborn and toddler, but this time I was waking up at 3 in the morning. [04:30] thinking about, and it's going to be a great chat. So I'm very excited. Thank you for having me. I really appreciate that. It's going to be worth it. It's going to be worth it mostly to us. [04:38] to extract all this wisdom from your head. [04:41] So we're going to be going deep on negotiation. [04:44] how to better negotiate for comp, and this will translate into all kinds of other ways in your life beyond comp. [04:51] This is something I've personally been very, very bad at in my career. I don't know if I've [04:55] Like maybe one time I pushed back and negotiated a higher comp, but I just like I've always been really nervous to do this and just really bad at this.

[05:04] And I imagine most listeners are nervous and bad at this. [05:08] And you do this for a living. You help people [05:10] Negotiate. [05:11] which I don't think people even know this is a thing that exists, that somebody's out there that can help you negotiate. [05:16] And so you've seen a lot of [05:17] negotiations up close. [05:19] Most of the people you work with, just to set context, are very senior people, but [05:23] a lot of the stuff we're going to talk about is going to apply to [05:26] Anyone at any level? [05:28] Let me start with this question just to give people a frame of reference. [05:31] How much comp are people generally leaving on the table when they don't even try to negotiate? [05:36] Yeah, so typically what I've seen is, even without my help, just general pushbacks, not aggressive. [05:42] a simple... [05:43] What's the chance there could be more here? [05:46] kind of pushback. I mean, that's about as easy as it can get. You get the offer, you say, what's the chance there's a little bit more? [05:51] I must always see a 20% improvement on that. And that is across the board from [05:56] earlier stage positions, let's say they gave you a [05:59] $100,000 offer, $120,000 could be there just from a simple pushback, which is... [06:04] When you're making that kind of money, that's life changing. [06:06] I've noticed that when you make a million dollar W2, same pushback, 20%, sometimes more. [06:13] Just on the what's the chance. Depending on how well you... [06:15] and navigated that interview process. [06:18] Now, [06:18] On average, when I'm calculating out, what I'm looking for with clients is about 40%. [06:23] movement on an increase. [06:25] we have seen as much as 100, 200, 300, 400% increases from initial offers. [06:31] Most notably... [06:32] breaking salary bans, which we all treat as gospel.

[06:36] which is something we'll probably talk about through the course of this. [06:39] this podcast today. [06:41] That, you know, those that challenge authority and challenge in a meaningful and collaborative way will win more than those that don't. [06:50] and [06:51] What's interesting is [06:53] I found that... [06:55] product [06:56] Product leaders, engineers, designers, [06:59] Some of the more tend to be more introverted and thoughtful types. [07:03] negotiate more poorly, [07:05] than the obnoxious marketers and revenue leaders and the more extroverted types. And it's frustrating because if you look back at the last, say, 25 years or so, [07:14] Product has really defined the tech generation in so many ways. [07:18] This isn't to discredit marketers or anything like that. It's just to show that... [07:22] There's a couple of sides of the business and everyone tends to negotiate a little differently. [07:27] So you're looking back at your career and say, you know, the great Lenny. [07:31] had a tough time pushing back. I think that's actually inspiring for a lot of the listeners to see that [07:38] You're not alone in feeling this. It doesn't have to be such an aggressive situation. [07:42] thing. [07:42] It doesn't have to be confrontational. The simplest advice that I can give you is, what's the chance there could be a little more? [07:49] That's not greedy at all. That's just a simple ask. And even that, 20%, 30%. [07:54] So again, a lot of people listening to this are just like afraid to ask. [07:58] for more there's like I'm gonna come across as greedy [08:02] I'm going to it's all going to fall apart. They're going to be like, what are you? What are you talking about? No, no, forget it.

[08:07] Or, you know, they join, they get a better comp, and then they're like, everyone can and they know that I pushed all this and I'm this kind of greedy person. And now the expectations are higher. [08:16] What do you tell people to help them [08:18] get past that and actually [08:19] negotiate and actually go for it. Yeah, a couple things here. So first of all, usually a company is extracting much more value out of you. [08:27] naturally like five to one ten to one a hundred to one right [08:31] I know the audience is primarily product here. You're developing products that have [08:37] infinite scalability in some capacity that's going to make the company a lot of money. And they're a big piece of that. [08:43] And, [08:44] product tends to be rewarded fairly well, right? [08:47] But when you look at the money that the company is making in comparison, like you're not being greedy. [08:52] And if you understand that value exchange, [08:55] you can have that conversation with confidence. [08:57] That's not to say that being a tall puppy isn't risky. That's the term. [09:01] You over negotiate. [09:03] I would rather my clients overnegotiate, reach a couple rungs up on the ladder and they get slapped down. They're still failing forward. [09:10] and they're growing in some capacity. [09:12] And... [09:13] If you can ideally align work that doesn't feel like work, it feels a little bit more like play, [09:18] with strong compensation. [09:20] You don't always need to negotiate hellaciously for the top of the band or break the bands just because you can. [09:25] This isn't to be greedy. [09:27] But it's just to understand that this value exchange isn't fair for you regardless. [09:31] of how it works. [09:33] It's a path to wealth. [09:34] is through ownership. [09:36] Right. [09:36] And as a W-2 employee, you're being taxed heavily.

[09:39] And it makes sense to push a little bit in this context. [09:43] That's typically where I start. I want you to just have the confidence to know that it's okay. [09:46] Let me come at it from the other direction. A lot of people listening to this podcast are founders or hiring managers, managers, [09:54] they may not be super excited to hear [09:57] We're giving people advice on how to negotiate harder for higher comp. [10:01] What could you say to them to make them feel a little bit better about us sharing this sort of advice? [10:06] So I will challenge them as well. Now, I... [10:11] How important of a priority is top talent in maintaining and retaining top talent to you? [10:16] When we're thinking about how quickly... [10:19] the speed of innovation is happening. [10:21] You've had a lot of great AI guests on the channel recently. [10:24] Right. Like the exponential curve of gross is increasing. [10:28] If you hope to stand a chance... [10:31] you need to attract the top 10. [10:33] And you need to keep that top talent because it's very expensive to replace them. [10:36] I'm not suggesting that people beat you up for the sake of beating you up. [10:41] So this is-- [10:42] a myth about negotiation that's adversarial. [10:45] What I teach is how can we be more collaborative? [10:49] So the conversation is, look, Lenny, as a founder, [10:52] "Can you help me understand what's important to you?" [10:54] the value that this work will drive [10:57] And then naturally we'll come to terms that make a little bit more of a value exchange. Makes sense there. [11:02] So oftentimes, some of the ways that we're breaking... [11:06] the boundaries of compensation, [11:08] isn't necessarily advocating for a busted business

[11:11] base comp level and bonus percentage. [11:14] Oftentimes we're putting performance incentives [11:17] milestone triggers. [11:19] If the company grows to 100 million ARR and I contributed this to it, [11:24] what would that outcome look like? Would that be another tranche of stock or would that be cash or would that, you know, we're, [11:31] Getting more creative here. [11:33] And so what's interesting is [11:36] For the longest time, I had a difficult time advocating for this. And having been a CEO and founder myself... [11:42] I understand why you don't want to do it because it's hard. [11:45] It's hard to make this, and everyone also thinks they're top talent. [11:48] And when everyone thinks they're top talent, somebody's got to be lying. [11:51] It can be difficult to understand that. [11:54] So those that I found are more confident to push towards performance based. [11:59] tend to have more skin in the game. [12:01] tend to want to stick around and see that success happen. [12:03] Those are the types of people I want working for me if I want to be a very competitive organization. [12:09] I have started to have these conversations with a couple of Fortune 500 companies. [12:13] as well as... [12:15] Some talent consulting companies think big recruiting firms. [12:19] where they've brought me in to advise [12:21] on the comp committee's [12:23] so that they can get more creative with their structure so they don't lose talent. [12:26] Because nobody wins... [12:28] when you hire a top performer and they leave in 10 months. [12:31] The recruiting firm loses their... [12:33] pay. [12:34] their performance pay, the company now has to go back and replace that person. This usually costs hundreds of thousands. And in some of the realms that we navigate in the Fortune 500,

[12:43] It will cost millions, if not tens of millions. [12:46] to replace the lost IP there. [12:48] So the argument here is... [12:50] It's okay to get creative. Reward it when you see it. I'm not suggesting give everyone... [12:55] everything in the company and totally ruin your business model. [12:59] But, [13:00] If you want to be competitive, [13:01] Be competitive with your pay as well. [13:03] That's a great answer. And we were chatting before we started recording this and you shared that [13:08] You've helped people negotiate. [13:10] with many of guests on this podcast, like people that they were hiring and you helped them get a higher comp. [13:16] I won't mention any names. [13:18] Some recently were in the realm of 10 million plus on increases in compensation across a team of just a handful of folks. [13:26] Again, Fortune 500. [13:28] But the alternative was lose them to competitors and have the stock drop after the CEO made announcements publicly in their earnings calls. [13:36] And so they don't know [13:38] that [13:40] It may have cost them $10 million today, but it saved them $300. [13:43] plus 300, 500 in this business process. [13:47] So the success will be there. And I would say... [13:50] Almost anybody would pay [redacted address] you operate, just so people understand, is you're very behind the scenes. You work with clients and you advise them. You're never involved in the negotiation. You just give them advice on how to approach it. [14:02] I would call it fingerprintless. And there's a reason for this. So it's, [14:07] It's not yet popularized. Maybe it will be with some of these AIICs and these hot scientists are pulling down $100 million contracts.

[14:17] Maybe this will change soon. [14:19] In Hollywood, you have an agent negotiate on your behalf and they kind of [14:22] are serving as that middle mediator. [14:25] That's not common in the corporate environment. [14:27] corporate America right now. [14:28] Right. [14:29] Now, [14:30] If that happens, it almost dilutes the leadership and presence of the executive. [14:35] And so how I work is... [14:37] similar to an attorney... [14:39] where all correspondence goes through me before it goes to... [14:42] the end recipient. [14:44] So, [14:45] Let's say that... [14:46] you were going to talk to the CDO? [14:47] You call me first. [14:49] We prepare the game plan, we strategize, [14:51] You then perform, then we debrief. [14:54] Then the CEO sends you an email. That email comes to me. [14:58] We draft it together. I usually test my clients instincts first rather than just doing the work for them. [15:03] test their instincts, polish the language, [15:06] Because every step of the way is a negotiation. [15:10] Now, this also slows the process down. [15:14] We want to go slower, and I'm sure we'll talk a little bit more about that in the podcast too. Haste equals risk. [15:19] So as you slow down, oftentimes we want to take a couple of days to respond. [15:24] not to be a jerk or belligerent or... [15:27] to manufacture some fake urgency, but [15:30] It shows a little scarcity and thought process to your time, and we get to calculate and collect information through the process. [15:36] This is so interesting. What's the most common biggest mistake that people make when they're negotiating? [15:42] They're calm. [15:43] They don't understand when it starts. [15:45] So, yeah. [15:46] It starts much sooner than you think.

[15:48] So, [15:49] I've got myself in hot water with this before too because [15:53] a [15:54] Like a LinkedIn profile in your resume is a snapshot of what you've been in the past. [15:59] but it doesn't help you negotiate in the forward. [16:01] So if somebody can say, "Oh, I'm looking at Lenny and I'm looking at Product Manager," if that's all they saw, [16:07] They're not going to know all this work that you're doing in the future moving forward and what your visions are. [16:11] Things like that. So they... [16:12] stamp you as Product Manager Lenny. [16:15] Right. [16:15] Now your media mogul icon, whatever. Right. But there's a gap to have to fill. [16:21] Right? [16:22] So the things you say on LinkedIn serve as a perception. [16:25] The headshot that you have serves as a perception. I used to joke that I could scan profiles. I would know how much money someone made by the quality of their headshot. [16:34] And you can see... [16:37] And it was wildly consistent. It was almost frustrating. But anyway, what you're putting out into the world, the narrative you share publicly is [16:44] starts to become how you're known, your reputation. [16:47] If you are... [16:48] positioned [16:50] As a commodity, you will be treated like a commodity. [16:54] Right? [16:54] So oftentimes the less you share is better because when you're on the phone with somebody, [16:59] you can correct the narrative and steer the conversation where you want it to go [17:04] versus have to live by the sins of what you did 10 years ago. [17:08] as an example. [17:09] So the things you share with recruiters, they take notes. [17:12] when a recruiter calls you and says hey lenny how much money do you expect to make and you say oh you know 225 that sounds fair

[17:19] Five years later, they call you and they expect you to make $225 again, not recognizing that you've grown. [17:25] exponentially since then. [17:27] So everything you communicate starts to serve as that [17:30] value chain across the board. [17:32] Another mistake that people make, [17:35] And you mentioned this a little earlier. [17:37] It feels uncomfortable. [17:39] to get [17:40] quote unquote confrontational or to feel like you're asking for too much. [17:44] So often we'll hide... [17:46] behind the easiest communication channel as possible. [17:49] So I might email you my demands, demands, right? Or my negotiation. [17:55] And the problem with that is I can't control tone. [17:58] I can't control... [18:00] especially when you're negotiating at high levels. [18:02] If I push back, [18:05] And the CEO that reads it's in the airport security line and pissed off and they read it. [18:10] They might be like, that bastard wants more money. [18:12] That's all they take away. Even if you perfectly worded it, you got it all as clean as it can be. If you catch them at the wrong time, you have no control over how it's received. [18:21] Right? [18:22] So it's always better... [18:24] to have at least a video call, if not in person, so you can share tone, you can read body language, you can correct [18:30] every step of the way. [18:32] Oftentimes, we also try to negotiate through recruiters. [18:35] Right? [18:36] You could do that. I did the thing, Jacob. I talked to a recruiter. I spent a half an hour explaining it. [18:42] The problem with that is you're playing a game of telephone. [18:44] So the same thing happens. I explain it to the recruiter. I get the tone right. [18:48] The recruiter goes to the CEO and says,

[18:50] That bastard wants more money, and that's all they communicate. [18:54] Right. So, [18:56] People negotiate with the wrong folks. [18:58] You have to go to the one who has skin in the game. [19:01] Who controls the P&L? [19:03] Who controls EBITDA? What's their motivation? [19:07] That's who you want to talk to. [19:09] And so some people might also have a concern with, [19:12] well, how do I go around the recruiter? I don't want them to look bad. [19:15] We have to do that respectfully, and now we need to plan what that communication looks like. [19:20] And so the important thing here is just because it's uncomfortable doesn't mean you don't need to do it. It just means you don't know how to do it. [19:26] So when something's uncomfortable, you have to run towards that because that's where the growth happens. [19:31] I love how tactical we're getting here. So following this thread. So the advice here is when you get an offer and you want... [19:38] and you should basically you're saying you should always negotiate in some way should push back [19:42] Your advice here is don't do it over email. [19:45] make sure you find a way to do a video call with essentially the hiring manager or the person that has [19:50] Skin in the game, like the finances and the budget. [19:53] There are situations, especially at high levels, more deals are closed on the golf course than they are in a boardroom. [19:58] Right. [19:59] So there are situations where you pull someone into a different element. This is called home field advantage. [20:05] So if you go to a company to have a conversation, [20:09] You're out of your element in [20:11] in a situation where you may not perform your best. [20:14] The other thing people don't do is they don't control the time of which they have a conversation. [20:18] CEO wants to hop on at six o'clock in the morning. Get your ass up, get that presentation and go.

[20:24] You need to say, I'm not available at that time. [20:27] I'm in you read your own body language. I'm strongest between the hours of 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. I want a meeting in that time. [20:35] So I will say I'm unavailable until that time becomes available. [20:38] That also communicates scarcity and that you won't get pushed around. [20:42] So it's scary to do that, to say no. [20:45] to the CEO, I'm actually only available here. That also creates a rubber band effect that makes you more attractive. [20:52] Right? [20:52] And so... [20:54] Oftentimes, actually, OpenAI did this, which is funny. I didn't realize what the reason was, but I had some clients interviewing for C-suite roles at OpenAI. [21:03] And so pushing Sam Altman around a little bit, which... [21:06] I'm okay with. [21:07] I'm okay with that. [21:08] Um, [21:09] But so they used to walk outside of the office and just walk downtown San Francisco instead. [21:15] right? You take someone out of the element, you get the endorphins going, you're walking and talking, you're [21:19] The important piece here is instead of you and I being confrontational, [21:23] like negotiating between each other. [21:24] We're walking side by side. [21:27] So it's almost like you could put your arm around the other person, you're solving the problem together. [21:31] These sound like minor... [21:34] things to consider... [21:36] But the body language and the tone and the collaboration and the energy starts to flow more naturally when you do this. This is all behavioral psychology. [21:43] Right. [21:43] And so, funny story, why I found out OpenAI did that [21:47] It was because they didn't want any executives going into the office because it was such a mess. [21:51] It was like the biggest startup you've ever seen. So I used to joke that it was two midgets in a trench coat pretending to be a real company.

[21:58] Right. [21:59] And, uh, [22:00] So anyway, the point was, let's take them to a place where we can control... [22:05] and have an advantage over the conversation. So that's a way that you can think about where are you going to feel most comfortable? [22:11] What hours of the day are you most comfortable with? [22:13] If you can bring someone to a lunch or a coffee where... [22:16] you're on even playing field or even your home field, you will perform better in those situations. And you have more control over that than you may think. [22:24] So the advice there is try to get this conversation out of their office. It can be, you know, but if I'm, [22:30] a product manager and I'm talking to a director, that may not be possible. Right. Right. It might just say, look, you've got to come into the office. You've got to do this. Right. [22:38] I'm pushing when I'm talking about a C-suite level, like you could pull them out of the office. Hey, let's go get drinks. Like sometimes these deals are closed at 830 at night after a concert or something like that. So it's easing that situation. [22:50] That being said... [22:51] It doesn't mean you couldn't try. It's like, hey, I've got a couple of questions. Are you open to take a walk down AT&T Park? [22:57] and have a conversation about it. [22:59] If you can pull them out of that, you can start to build a stronger relationship through that and you're more likely to get your way. [23:04] Talk us through the process you would recommend from... [23:09] I get an offer, recruiter sends me, here's your offer. [23:13] 300k salary, some kind of [23:15] equity. [23:17] What's kind of like the step by step? And I know this depends on the role, seniority, type of company, PE, VC-backed startup. [23:25] Because it's very scary to push back and be like, oh, I want more.

[23:29] What's like that first email/reply to that email look like typically? Like what are some phrases maybe you'd use? [23:35] And then how do you open up a conversation where you plan to ask for more? [23:40] you're meeting in person especially because that feels so scary so first we want to approach with gratitude [23:45] We're thankful that we want to move forward. [23:47] Right. So Lenny, I appreciate you making me an offer. [23:50] Right. I'm excited to work with you. We want to show enthusiasm, which also shows some confidence. [23:56] We have to show that the deal is going to get done, even if you're on the fence about it. [24:00] Right. [24:01] Now, it's not to say you're so excited that it's a sure thing and you're not showing that you're disappointed, even if you are. [24:07] Right. [24:07] So I'm grateful. [24:09] I'm looking forward to working with you. I want to review this over the next couple of days. [24:13] I'll talk to my wife about it. [24:15] talk to an advisor, so-and-so. Later on, when you're a high-level executive, you're talking to legal, you're talking to advisors, you're talking to a coach. [24:23] You may have five or six people see that. [24:25] employment lawyer, all that. That stuff is expected. [24:28] So you're going through the process. I'm going to take a couple of days to process this. I'll get back to you. [24:32] I may have a couple of questions. [24:34] Right? [24:35] But we'll loop back and it shouldn't be a problem. I imagine we start working together in a couple weeks. [24:39] So the point is you have to sell [24:42] that the deal is going to be done. [24:44] which helps them feel like [24:47] It's going to move forward regardless. [24:49] Right. So any ask that you make is not going to be egregious. [24:53] Now, [24:54] Oftentimes, the higher you anchor, the better you're going to perform. [24:57] which can be frustrating because you don't necessarily want to be like, oh, I increased it 40% or anything like that.

[25:03] Now this is where a lot of nuance comes in. [25:05] So we might say, you know, [25:08] come back three days later, want to have the conversation, let's take a walk in the park and talk through it, right? [25:12] I've got to be honest with you, where this offer stands right now, [25:16] I don't feel comfortable moving forward. It's a little lighter than I expected. [25:19] I may start saying something like that. And then just wait. [25:23] to see what they have to say. [25:25] Maybe they say, well, what did you have in mind? It's like, well, [25:28] What's the chance you can share? [25:30] what the range looks like for this and what type of performance did you expect. [25:33] for each of these levels. [25:35] Right? [25:35] Or they may say, we've clomped you in the middle part of the range. [25:39] You might say, what does the top end look like? [25:42] What must I do [25:44] to fit those needs for you. Can you help me understand? [25:47] Now, for a lot of folks, [25:49] especially in this market. And if we talk about what it was like in 2021 versus what it's like now, [25:55] there's some over-leveling that's happened. [25:57] So there are people that are C-suite going back to VP and VP is going back to directors, especially as they go to bigger companies. [26:03] Oftentimes I'll say, [26:05] As we had this conversation, [26:08] I'm likely a little more horsepower than you anticipated. [26:12] Right? [26:13] What's the chance we can come in and restructure the comp for the type of talent we're bringing in here? [26:20] And so this is a line that we used [26:22] There were three folks last year that were... [26:25] In ranges of 185 to 285, that deal landed at 1.1 million when we were done with increases in stock, big cash increases.

[26:33] Two deals that were comped at 600 that landed at 1.1 and 1.2. [26:37] So doubled from that. [26:39] And these were situations where the role started at senior director and were up leveled to VP because they were reaching for top talent. [26:45] in that situation. [26:47] there are opportunities where it's easier to steer if you're really, really good. [26:52] right? [26:52] I can see why some listeners are like, well, I'm not there in my career yet. [26:56] In that case, this is just how it gets done. [26:59] This is how bigger moves happen. [27:03] It doesn't mean you can't push for maybe 20% more naturally. [27:07] Nat, I would start with, what's the chance there's a little bit more here? [27:10] I was expecting this. [27:12] Right? [27:13] Again, more nuances, because if you open up [27:16] what you're looking for too early in the conversation, [27:19] that can be difficult to come back from. [27:22] later on. It's not entirely egregious, but one of the first things out of a recruiter's mouth is how much money do you want to make? [27:28] which is eerily similar to an illegal question, which is how much money do you make? [27:34] Right? [27:35] But if you say, what do you want to make, then it's okay. [27:37] And that's where a lot of people get hung up as well. I love that phrase you just shared of... [27:42] What's the chance there's a bit more here? I was expecting number X. [27:46] Is that is that the phrase you recommend that approach of just a soft pushback just to see? [27:51] Sometimes. Again, it really depends on the leveling. [27:55] If you are... [27:56] Very senior. [27:58] I typically don't want to re-anchor with the number because [28:01] You should ever be so sure of what you're worth that you wouldn't accept more.

[28:04] Right. And when you anchor, that's the ceiling. And what often happens is naturally... [28:11] they want to split the difference. [28:13] And so I'll have a quick there's a quick Hollywood story here. So [28:17] We had a writer [28:19] who had a $700,000 contract. [28:22] Right. So 700. [28:23] And [28:24] the [28:25] agent that I was working with was saying like this, this writer is, [28:30] has the most aggressive attorneys in L.A. [28:33] They're super aggressive. [28:35] And I said, well, how do you know? [28:37] First of all, if that's what they're perceived as. [28:39] So the production studio offers this writer 700. [28:42] The attorneys come back and say, we want 1.3%. [28:45] 1.3 million. [28:47] And the studio said, fine, we'll do a million. [28:50] And they settled at a million. [28:51] And I find that really interesting. [28:54] Because... [28:55] The studio came up 300,000. [28:57] And the attorneys lost $300,000. [29:00] So you split the difference right in the middle. [29:02] So if the attorneys [29:04] said, [29:04] 1.5%. [29:06] with a deal of coming at 1.1, [29:08] If the attorney said 1.7, would it have come in at 1.2? [29:12] Right. [29:13] How do we know? [29:14] The way I see it is [29:16] Those attorneys weren't aggressive enough. [29:18] We didn't find the ceiling there, did we? [29:21] That was lazy negotiating. [29:23] So it still made the client $300,000. They were excited. [29:26] Right. The attorneys were excited. They made more on their commission. The agency was excited. They got 10 percent of that. [29:31] But we didn't find the ceiling, did we? [29:33] That was lazy negotiating.

[29:35] So those are things that you've got to slow down to really understand where is the value being made here. [29:40] In that movie, that movie could make $50 million. You think $1 million for writing was worth it for someone who controlled the creative there? [29:48] I don't know. [29:49] A 50 to 1 value exchange, why not push for more? [29:52] Why not put some milestones in that if this movie makes more than 50, [29:56] my milestone is increased. [29:58] This is how Tom Brady had his contract at Tampa Bay. [30:02] right? Win eight games, get a half a million dollars. Win 12 games, get a million five. Go to the playoffs, [30:08] Get an extra this. Win the division. Get this. Get to the Super Bowl. [30:13] X, win Super Bowl MVP, 2.5 million more. Like, so performance-based triggers. [30:18] I love just how much you love this. It's just clear this is so interesting. It's really nerdy, I know. I obsess over it in a weird way, but... [30:27] I don't know, it's... [30:29] It's been kind of baked into my [30:30] my psyche for a long time, probably because I felt so powerless growing up. [30:34] I'm so interested in [30:37] how how power works and i was so scared to advocate for myself and [30:41] I was the least assertive person that you knew until I met my wife. [30:45] And she taught me how to be assertive. And now I'm like off to the races. So that's been helpful. On that note, do these tactics work on kids and wives? Is this something that translates? Absolutely not. I would not recommend that. [30:59] especially if your wife knows what you do for a living and hears you on the phone all the time and you try to say what's the chance and she's like no chance

[31:07] Don't pull that on me. I know what you're doing, right? And toddlers are terrorists, so I don't... [31:12] I haven't figured that one out. I resort to bribes and maybe that is a little Machiavellian on the, on the toddlers. You can be, [31:20] You can be out of your mind working on that. But yeah, don't recommend it with your spouse. I would pay a lot of money for a version of you for toddlers. Oh, my God. It's like... [31:28] I try to negotiate with a kid. I'm like, three minutes. He's like, six. I'm like... [31:34] Four minutes. No, six. He never budges. Five minutes. He's like, eight. [31:41] My son does that too. I go, do you want a binky? And he goes... [31:45] Five binkies. [31:48] I go, I don't know if we have five. And he's off ten binkies. Whatever you need, I'll get it. You go to sleep. Yeah. Yeah, please sleep. Yeah. Yeah. We need this for toddlers. I would subscribe. Miss Rachel's the closest thing we got. Yeah. [32:04] Okay, so coming back to this conversation, Amber, so you've touched on this a bit and I think this is an important part of your advice is [32:10] When [32:11] the number [32:12] question comes up. [32:13] Who should speak first? What should your... [32:15] approach be if they ask you this question of how much do you want to make? [32:19] Yeah, there's a decent amount of nuance in this, too. So... [32:23] One thing you should realize is that [32:26] especially earlier in your career, they're going to push on this harder. [32:29] And that indicates that the person asking is really more looking for a commoditized or a price sensitive hire. [32:36] That can be okay. [32:37] There's nothing wrong with sharing your number and getting a deal that moves the needle early in your career or even middle of your career.

[32:44] that changes the higher up the ladder you go. And this is one of the reasons I want to share this is that [32:49] What got you here won't get you there. [32:51] So things start changing as you [32:55] mature in your career. [32:57] And so when you're working with a top recruiter, they don't ask you about comp. [33:01] They won't. [33:02] The problem is top recruiters only reach out to you when you're very well known. [33:06] and they don't reach out to you very often. [33:08] It's very difficult to optimize for inbound attention the higher up you go unless you become very popular. [33:14] Right? [33:15] And then what happens is you share less information because people come to you in a different capacity. [33:20] So, [33:21] Nine times out of 10, a recruiter reaching out to you is going to ask that number. [33:26] Right? [33:27] One time out of 10, they're going to just focus on the value creation. Those are the ones you want to focus on. [33:32] the best possible. [33:34] But, [33:34] It could be confusing because so often you get a different side of the story, more of the commodity type stuff. [33:40] So, [33:41] Typically, I'd recommend you answer... [33:44] I don't talk about compensation until we're ready to make an offer. It sounds like we're pretty far away there. [33:49] I'd love the opportunity to learn more about the team, understand where the value comes in, [33:55] and proceed kind of down that path to make sure we're a good fit [33:59] Is that going to be a problem? [34:01] And then typically they'll say, yeah, it is going to be a problem. I just need to know a number. [34:05] Right? [34:05] Now, [34:06] I mean, it's very uncomfortable to do this back and forth and to say no, especially Americans have a hard time saying no. [34:13] I have noticed that other cultures can be more direct and just say, no, I'm not going to do it.

[34:16] I, [34:17] So be it. [34:18] Right. So culturally, there's a lot of differences in how this conversation happens. [34:22] And so they say, look, [34:23] Thank you. [34:24] We need a number from you. [34:26] You might say, look, I'm uncomfortable doing that right now because I don't understand the scope of the role. [34:30] Can you help me understand what you had in mind? [34:34] Right. [34:35] The reason I learned this is [34:37] I used to be a marketing manager making $12 an hour in downtown San Francisco for Series A companies. [34:42] Not knowing that $12 an hour wasn't a lot of money. I just didn't know any better. [34:45] But then I left out marketing managers and I saw that they made 60 grand a year and I suddenly got offended at how little money I was making. [34:52] Then I got promoted to director in that period and was making $14 an hour. Good for me. [34:57] And then I saw that [34:58] Marketing directors were making $110,000 at the time. [35:02] So when a recruiter called me, I pulled that. I didn't want to tell him I was making $14 an hour. They'd be like, who is this kid? He's not very good. That's fake title. [35:09] And instead I said, what did you have in mind? [35:11] And they said, oh, we're looking at 110 to 130. And I'd say... [35:14] Oh, I'm on the upper end of that now. [35:16] And so I went from $14 an hour to $120,000 a year in a single month. [35:20] A single jump. [35:22] Just like that. That changed my life. One negotiator. So one of the reasons I'm so passionate about that. [35:27] I hated the marketing work for what it's worth. [35:29] But I thought if I made a lot of money, it would make that pain go away of not liking my job. [35:34] Turns out that was a fool's errand, but that's a story for another time. [35:37] Do things in your experience ever fall apart when you try to do that? Because that is a scary thing to do. [35:43] pushed back on just like, no, I'm not going to tell you numbery and [35:46] You're giving us advice on how to say it in a nice way.

[35:48] and then just like what did you have in mind? [35:50] The fear is like, okay, they're going to hate me and they're going to be like, well, it's not worth it. We're going to move on. [35:55] Has that ever happened? What are the odds that might happen? [35:58] A couple things about power. [36:00] Right. So if you have the ability to say no, you have infinite power. [36:05] Right. [36:06] The nuance changes when [36:09] When you don't have a job and you need to pay your mortgage, you might answer that differently because you want something. [36:13] Right. [36:14] Now, this isn't to shame somebody who's feeling that way. [36:17] Right. [36:18] If you're out of work for six weeks in San Francisco, you're homeless. [36:21] That's just the reality of the situation. So if I've got to say a number to get a job, [36:24] I think that's fine. [36:26] Right. [36:26] But understand that [36:28] Once you're employed and somebody's asking you and your needs are already getting met, [36:31] Why do you need to get pushed around? [36:33] This is one reason that it's easier to find a job when you have a job. [36:37] Now, I think this is a myth for what it's worth, but this is easier because naturally your needs are getting met financially to a degree. [36:43] So naturally you negotiate more confident. [36:47] When you're out of work and you have the uncomfort [36:50] of being out of work six months, 12 months, 18 months. [36:54] You have an identity tied to a chief product officer role. [36:58] or a VP of... That's your identity in our country. We don't ask... [37:01] who you are and about your kids. [37:03] We say, what do you do for a living? [37:05] And when you are stripped of that title, it's uncomfortable. And we want that pain to end. [37:09] And so we give in to these demands because it's an authoritative figure and we want that pain to go away. [37:15] If we have the finances and the luxury of being able to say no, we increase our power.

[37:20] If we have the ability to push back and practice these difficult conversations, [37:25] you will increase your power and you'll land at a higher rate because of it. [37:28] So can it get frustrated? Absolutely. [37:31] But if somebody disrespects you through that process, doesn't that give you an indication of who the company is working with? [37:37] Right? [37:38] Now again, [37:39] I might accept that because I need the money. I understand. [37:41] But it's very telling how somebody's going to treat you depending on very simple pushbacks. [37:47] And one behavioral psychology hack here [37:50] is... [37:51] We give someone a positive reputation that they want to withhold. [37:55] whether they deserve it or not. [37:57] So, [37:59] In this instance, you'd say the recruiter [38:01] I want to thank you. [38:03] for being an advocate for me, and for respecting... [38:06] that I won't share compensation figures right now. [38:09] I appreciate that. [38:11] And then they are trapped. They have to say, no, I don't respect you. I have to do this. [38:17] Or they have to say... [38:19] You're right. Like, that makes sense. Let me move you forward or not. [38:22] Another option... [38:25] you don't necessarily know if you're the best solution for that fit or not. [38:28] And so we're obviously very ingrained when a recruiter reaches out to you and they say, look, we're going to pay $10. [38:34] 120 and you make [38:35] 150 and you're like, "Oh, I'm not interested. That's not even close." [38:39] I would recommend continuing that process anyway to see as practice what you can negotiate. You can always say no later. [38:44] right just because having that practice is going to make you hundreds of thousands if not millions more in your career

[38:51] Alternatively, if you feel bad about, oh, I wasted their time because I was too much for what they needed. [38:56] Make recommendations for them. [38:58] So when the offer comes in, in usage, it gave us a senior PM role. And what you realized is the JD and all of the work that you did is actually a director role, but they're not going to pay for a director role. [39:09] How often does that happen? [39:11] You get to say, look, [39:13] This role isn't in alignment with where we're headed, right? [39:17] Would you like me to make an introduction to somebody that's a better fit? [39:21] So you still get to help them. You remove yourself. [39:24] And then sometimes they say, no, actually, we do want the role to be more senior. We're going to extend for you. [39:30] My first VP role came out of turning down a content manager position for $70,000. [39:35] And six months later, I landed at VP for a quarter million. [39:39] That was my first realm into VP. The initial offer was for content. [39:45] So it came three, four levels up the food chain. [39:48] That was a long negotiation, but these things can happen if you [39:51] Don't say no too quickly. [39:53] Along these lines, I want to touch on [39:55] It feels like maybe the core... [39:57] approach you take, kind of the core to your philosophy, which is to kind of break out of this idea of some benchmark for a specific role. [40:05] and instead [40:06] Make it very clear to the company, here's the pain I will solve for you. [40:10] that is really important to you. [40:12] and here's why it's worth paying me this much more because it's such a big problem for you [40:16] Talk about just that mindset. [40:18] So this really comes down to having curiosity.

[40:21] and showing curiosity about the actual problem. [40:24] Because usually if I'm speaking to a room of 400 people, [40:27] which I'll occasionally do with some communities. [40:30] I'll ask them. [40:31] who is actually doing the job that's on their job description? [40:35] Nobody will raise their hand. It's not like you have your job description right there and that's what you do. [40:39] Right. There's always so much more that's not documented. [40:43] Right? [40:44] Now, when you're going into a position, you see a JD, you're like, yeah, I could do all those things. [40:48] But there's so much more. [40:50] This is another reason that [40:52] Thank you. [40:53] Anchoring to a number too early is tough. [40:55] Because you anchor to, oh, this is fair for a senior PM role. [40:59] Right? [41:00] This is fair. Then you go through the process of the interviewing... [41:04] It's very clear that it's a director poll. You're going to leave five people. They scoop another team under you. Oh, we're going to put a product-led growth motion under you too. There's a whole engineering pod, and there's this, and there's this. [41:14] All of a sudden, that's called scope creep. [41:16] Right? [41:17] So they scope creep the role, they talk about how they want a senior hire, they're excited about you, they get you excited about it, and then they give you the offer and it's actually 20% under the number you originally shared. [41:29] And then you say, okay, well, this looks like a director role. I want X. And they say, but you said you only wanted 140. [41:35] Now they're using a number against you, and it's very awkward to come back from that. [41:39] And so that's why we don't want to anchor too early. We want to understand. [41:43] And so this is one thing I wish, especially product engineers, designers, that side of the product stack. [41:50] I would love for you to treat more of these like a sales conversation.

[41:54] Right. [41:55] You are an enterprise solution. [41:57] a consulting solution. [41:59] That is several hundred thousand dollars, if not millions of dollars a year. [42:02] If you were to sell that product into an organization, think enterprise B2B deals, and I know I'm getting a little buzzword here. [42:09] Think an enterprise B2B deal to Salesforce, and you're going to sell a million and a half dollar product. [42:14] It would take you 18 months to develop the relationships and close that deal. [42:18] You have to develop. [42:20] Champions in the organization, you have to understand what value you can create for each of those people so that they can advocate for you. [42:28] You don't come in and pitch them the price. [42:31] Right off the bat, you need to understand the value. [42:33] So through the process, it's a discovery process. [42:36] Why am I here? [42:39] What gets you excited about me? [42:41] That's how we start a conversation. Too many interviews start with [42:45] You know, tell me about yourself. [42:47] Tell me about this stuff in the past. [42:49] If you're talking about your past, you're on the back foot and you're losing that conversation. [42:53] You're the one revealing information. You're not getting anything. [42:56] We instead want to have a conversation and say, look, [43:00] Some of the best interviews I've always had felt a little bit more like consultations or brainstorming sessions. [43:04] Are you open to having a chat like that today? [43:08] That's the first step. [43:09] Typically they say, yeah, that sounds way better than me trying to drill you with questions. [43:13] So let me ask you, what are some of the things that you're excited about? I imagine, Lenny, you're excited to talk to me because... [43:18] I can help some of your audience negotiate. [43:21] You've seen proof where... [43:23] Dozens of your subscribers have made more money with the article we wrote together.

[43:27] You've even seen that some of your guests, unknowingly, [43:30] have been negotiated against with some of the work that I've done. [43:33] Is there anything that I missed? What's exciting to you? So I want to clarify why I'm in the room with you. [43:39] So we do that as a PMO. Sounds like [43:42] Now we move to labeling. [43:43] It sounds like... [43:45] you have a challenge with this product line. It sounds like, [43:49] we need to move or ship product faster. [43:52] It sounds like AI has been a problem and we need to shift towards... [43:55] native AI. [43:57] Is there anything that I missed? [43:58] Right? [44:00] then they're revealing information. You take control of that conversation. [44:03] And then we want to share, what have you done about it? [44:06] Like how big of a problem is this in the organization? [44:09] This is basically a SWOT analysis. [44:11] Like what are some of the things you've done well? [44:13] What are some of the areas that the team failed? [44:16] What are some of the things we should be doing that we're not? [44:18] And what are some of the things we absolutely shouldn't touch? [44:21] So I want to ask all these discovery questions. They're like, oh, look, it's a... [44:25] It's a $10 million problem where we've... [44:27] We've gone through five different PMs in six months and you're starting to understand where the dirty laundry in the company is. [44:34] Then we get to sell the vacation. [44:37] Then we get to say, look, [44:39] All right, so fast forward six months from now, and we're working on this problem together. [44:43] And we've solved the churn in the engineering department. [44:47] or in the design department, or whatever. [44:48] We've solved that. [44:50] And we've got two product launches under our belt. [44:53] When you head into that board meeting next, how can we ensure that your head is held high?

[44:59] So what I'm doing is I'm psychologically walking them to a position of [45:03] I make a painless position. I've removed [45:06] the friction and the pain from their shoulders, [45:09] And I force them to visualize... [45:11] a utopian situation. [45:13] And who was right next to him doing that? [45:16] I was. [45:17] So when it comes to your competition, there is no competition. I'm the only person [45:22] who walked you into a vacation. [45:24] that you want to be in, looking forward to your head held high in a board meeting that's usually stressful, but instead this time because you worked with me, it's not stressful. [45:33] Then all of a sudden when it comes to the offer stage, [45:36] There may be five other PMs, but I can only imagine working with Jacob. [45:39] And so when I push back, the likelihood that I break the rules is significantly higher. [45:43] than if I hadn't done that. [45:45] This is amazing. So trying to just summarize what you're sharing here. And I think it's important for people to also know, like, [45:51] You can do it in your own words. [45:53] This is likely not something you'll just be able to pop out and do. This is something that takes time to... [45:58] do well and it feels awkward probably. And that's why people work with you that you probably role play and all these things. But still, there's things people can pull out of this that they can do on their own. It could be tricky to understand where your value is because you're so close to it. [46:12] You just do this every day. [46:13] And for... [46:14] Product folks that only listen to product folks and are in the product ecosystem in your bubble, Lenny, they're not seeing the impact on marketing. They're not having those conversations necessarily. So it's so ingrained in everything that you do. [46:28] that [46:29] You can functionally be excellent, but in order to break these boundaries, you have to be cross-functionally understanding how it impacts others.

[46:36] and the motivations of others. That's when things really start to unlock. [46:39] And that's where just understanding a little perspective can be helpful in that outside influence there. I think this is important to just briefly summarize your approach. [46:48] So the idea here is figure out in many ways what matters most to them. What problems do they have? What they see in you just like understand the landscape of, [47:00] where you could bring tons of value, help them see that. Like here's the problem that I can help you with, here's the problem that you have that we need [47:09] Like, here's the many problems we can help you with, and then help them [47:12] visualize, you described it as sell the vacation, help them [47:16] visualize, okay, now that this is solved, how awesome would that be? [47:21] And there's all this psychological stuff you're throwing in there. I can really make this concrete with a quick story. Yeah, let's do it. So... [47:29] there's a very famous musician, [47:33] who was born the same year as me for those super sleuths out there. [47:37] who had a tour. [47:38] a billion dollar tour, [47:40] in a documentary. [47:42] And the director of said tour was a hot commodity. [47:45] In Hollywood. [47:46] Every agency wanted to sign this director. This director didn't want to just do movie documentaries. [47:51] Right? [47:52] Wanted to start producing actual movies. Like that's the dream. [47:56] Right. [47:57] So, [47:57] Every agency wanted to sign. [48:00] This hot director who just did this billion dollar deal with. [48:03] People already know who it is, right?

[48:06] And so my client, the agent, asked me, like, we've got to sign this. It would be stupid to go to any other agency. [48:13] Right. We've done this. We've done that. We've represented Julia Roberts and Matt Damon and all this is just naming name dropping. Right. [48:21] Now this is actually a problem because if we're leaning on logic and credibility, we're losing. [48:26] We need to sell the future and own the emotion. [48:29] And so... [48:30] She just asked me, "How do we close this deal?" [48:33] And to me, this is very simple. I said, [48:36] If you already had the job, who would you introduce him to? [48:41] if you already had it, the deal's already signed, so put yourself in the position that you're already doing the job. That's why [48:46] An interview process, if you treat it like you're consulting, [48:49] you're doing a value exchange and you're increasing your value and you're asking the right questions. [48:53] If you feel like you're on the outside, you're having to say, well, look, Lenny, I did this and I did that. [48:58] Did you see I have three million words written? Like, why wouldn't you want to be the guest? Like, I don't care about what you've done. I care about what you'll provide my audience. [49:07] Right. So in this deal, we get into the meetings. Big day. [49:10] Right? [49:11] And I said, [49:13] Make the schedule of the appointment already. Work with the assistant. Schedule the appointment. [49:18] with whoever it is it needs to be. It needs to be a big name person. [49:21] So we go into that interview and inevitably the conversation goes, [49:24] Why should I sign your agency? [49:26] And so my client says, what are you doing on Friday? I cleared a lunch with your client. [49:31] A sister. [49:32] And he says, well, I guess I'm going to lunch. [49:34] And she's like, great, I'll have you meet Steven.

[49:37] And he said, Stephen, who? [49:39] And she said, Steven Spielberg. [49:43] And then... [49:44] Some form after that, it was, where do I sign? [49:48] Because the meeting was already set with Steven Spielberg. For somebody who wants to get into... [49:53] Film production, what better meeting to have? [49:55] Right. [49:56] So for the other agencies, they're like, we're the greatest thing. Like we've represented this director that did this media tour and we did that. [50:02] They lost. [50:04] Because we sold a vacation and we made it a reality right then and there. And the value is clear. [50:08] So there's both this mindset shift of I am here. [50:11] I'm going to try to actually help you [50:13] figure out where I can be helpful and where the problems are and then start actually thinking about [50:18] how to fix this. [50:20] And also, try to even do it. It sounds like you could just... If you can do it. So one of the tricks of my business is... [50:28] I can plant seeds with my clients really easily because I'm on the phone with somebody and I'm understanding who they need to connect with. [50:34] And so... [50:36] They might say, oh, I've been interested in getting to Google or whatever. Let's say they're in product. I said, oh, I have somebody in product at Google. Let me make a text for you real quick. [50:44] and I'll just do it. [50:46] While I'm on the phone, just hold on a second. Hold on. [50:48] And then what happens is they get the beep. [50:50] That's reciprocity. Like I'm triggering a reciprocity imbalance. [50:54] And then I'm making another one for him. [50:57] So I'll sometimes do two or three introductions. [51:00] right then and there and they see the value before i'm even off the phone [51:04] What I've also done is I've given three different touch points where I can make sure that that person is following through.

[51:09] I can get a 360 degree view of that person. [51:12] I can ask one of those people to prompt them to close with me if I need to sell a deal. [51:17] I'm getting a reciprocity imbalance. [51:19] So what I want to do is show that I have the resources to support them, whether they sign a contract or not. [51:25] And that's where we go. And in this instance... [51:28] If you want to roleplay with me for a second, [51:31] Something that would be really exciting. Like, Lenny, I want to understand what's exciting to you. [51:35] If today's podcast is... [51:37] was the best podcast, the highest performing podcast that had ever happened. [51:42] What would that mean to you? [51:44] And also, what did we do to make it so successful? [51:46] What are the comments that people had to put down below? [51:49] What are the things they said to make you feel like [51:52] My conversation with Jacob was the best conversation I had all year. [51:56] What would that look like to you? [51:57] I immediately love this question as a... [52:00] You know, like, it sounds to people like this is manipulative. Like, it could come across as that as an external observer. But to me, I'm like... [52:07] This is exactly what I want to achieve. And I love that you're thinking about this, that I want you to be focused on this and I would, [52:14] do a lot to help make this happen. I guess to answer your question, I would just love it to be. [52:19] Very concrete tactical advice that people can use to help negotiate their comp. [52:24] And they spread this with all their friends. They're like, this is the best thing you've ever heard around comp. And one of the things that we can do... [52:30] is that we plant what you want someone to say. [52:32] in that conversation as well. [52:34] So when I'm talking to these executives and I'm making the introductions, [52:38] Sometimes I'll ask,

[52:40] or an introduction's come to me. I'll be curious, like when you go back and you share with a friend, what are you going to say about me? [52:45] Are you going to say Jacob was really helpful? [52:47] Or are you going to say that Jacob is an asshole? [52:50] I'm curious. And sometimes I just make a complete reframe so there's no other option. [52:55] Well, I'm obviously not going to say you're an asshole, so I'm going to say you're the great thing that I want you to say. [53:00] I'm controlling [53:01] The narrative I want them to perpetuate. [53:03] So in this instance, and maybe some of your readers are like, this guy's a total manipulative jerk. [53:08] Right. [53:09] I will say, I hope that you use this for good and not evil, but this is just the way power works, right? [53:14] I would hope that in the comments section, [53:17] You say Lenny. [53:18] This was such a refreshing and energetic... [53:21] podcast. [53:22] This is what we want more of. This is exciting. [53:25] We've done a lot of stuff in AI. This was very cool and different. [53:29] So I'm suggesting if you felt that way, share something like that below. [53:34] Too many YouTube videos are like, "Oh, like and subscribe." That's all they do, which does trigger action. It's a very simple thing. [53:40] But when it comes to navigating your net worth and negotiating for power, [53:46] These executives at the top, [53:47] Control what every other person is saying. [53:50] Naturally, they know [53:52] when somebody's talking about them when they're not in the room. And they not only know about it, but they know what they said about them. [53:58] Similar to when somebody's like, oh, Lenny, we're going to do reference checks on you. [54:02] What's the first thing you do? [54:04] You call all those references and you say, what are you going to say about me? [54:07] Right? [54:08] Ideally, you can control that to some capacity.

[54:11] and improve the likelihood of you moving forward. So we already do this. [54:16] We just have to integrate it into some everyday conversations and you can better control outcomes. [54:21] It's the same interview process. [54:23] When you go back to your committee, [54:25] Are you going to say... [54:27] Jacob solved XYZ and we're excited. Like, slam dunk. Let's move forward. I like really quick, slam dunk. [54:33] Right? [54:34] Easy to remember. [54:35] Or are you going to say there's a couple of gaps here in some of the competitors that we have or some of the competition seems more fulfilling? [54:41] And I want to ask for that feedback while I'm still on the call with you. [54:44] I don't want to wait. [54:46] for an email to say, I'm sorry, you're not a fit. [54:48] And then you ask for feedback and you don't get any. [54:51] I have to do it while we're live in person because you can't deny me in that moment. [54:55] without it being awkward. [54:57] So what are you going to say? Is this a slam dunk? [54:59] What's one thing I should have asked that I didn't? [55:02] What are some areas that [55:04] The other candidates excelled that you wish I showed more of. [55:08] I want to understand where those gaps are so I have an opportunity to address them. [55:12] And then, [55:13] If I didn't make the mark and say, I'd love to have a conversation with you next Thursday to talk through that in more detail. Thank you for bringing that to my attention. [55:20] If you close the next conversation, [55:23] You don't give up necessarily. [55:26] Anyway, that was another monologue, but... [55:28] That was a little bit inside the mind of how I think about these things. Now, this is so awesome. So, you know, if you think about a hiring manager, having someone like, I don't know, [55:38] Imagine I'm interviewing for a role. If I come to them and say, "Here's the problem. I'm going to solve churn for you."

[55:45] I'm gonna fix your onboarding flow, I'm gonna figure out how to level up your design, [55:50] experience because I know that these are big challenges for you right now. [55:53] Like if I was the hiring manager, I'd be like, holy shit, this is awesome. This is I just need someone to come in and solve these problems for me. This is why I deliver. Right. And that's the other thing. It's. [56:05] It sounds like if this guy can't deliver, mm-hmm, [56:07] it's not going to happen. Or if this gal can't deliver, that's frustrating. Right? I'm not suggesting... [56:12] go so far outside of your comfort zone that you feel like you can't deliver. [56:16] Because that reputation will haunt you. [56:18] You have to really understand. And I would also add that [56:23] I wouldn't be so sure that I'm going to fix the onboarding flow. [56:26] I wouldn't be so sure of that. I'm not so sure that you... [56:29] No, that's the problem yet. [56:32] The longer we can drag out the hiring process, and this sounds like pulling teeth, especially when you're unemployed. Like, I just want the pain to be over. [56:39] I'm asking you to slow it down. [56:41] The more you slow down the process, [56:44] The more you fight back about the manufactured urgency, [56:47] of us needing to get into that role sooner, the more information you're going to understand about that company and how you could really help. [56:53] Right? [56:54] So you could say, you know, Lenny, I hear that you want to fix the onboarding flow. [56:58] I hear that. I hear this. [57:00] But it sounds like that product might be deprecated anyway in this wave of AI. Is that a possibility? [57:06] What I don't want to do is prioritize something that the team's going to cut. [57:09] That's going to hurt the P&L. [57:11] Or whatever. [57:12] Now, I can only ask that question if I've truly asked the right questions to understand.

[57:18] So you may come in, this is the same concept as never be so sure of your worth that you wouldn't accept more. [57:24] You're so sure of the job description that they need these three things that you don't even try to ask the questions. [57:29] to understand what the deeper problem is. [57:31] And this going back also to why founders might be frustrated with my talk track, [57:36] I'm not asking for you to take your pie and give them a bigger slice. [57:41] I'm asking for you to work with somebody to expand the pie so everybody gets bigger slices. [57:46] That's the plan. [57:48] And if you train [57:49] Your candidates. [57:50] and you're more revealing. And if their performance is tied to it, [57:54] naturally they need to ask more questions to understand how to make it true. [57:58] That's what we want. That's putting companies up and to the right. I like that you went there around don't over promise because it's easy to say we're going to solve all your pain. I'm going to I'm going to be the never over under promise over deliver. [58:11] Always. Under promise over deliver. This episode is brought to you by Omni. Many product teams today are in the process of debating how to ship AI analytics. The hard part is obvious. Having an LLM guess at SQL in production is a huge mess and just a bad idea. Omni takes a different approach. They have a semantic layer built in so that when you embed their analytics, the AI actually knows your business definitions, not just your raw tables. You can test queries, validate the reasoning, [58:41] and lock down permissions before anything hits production. If you want AI analytics in your product without building the whole stack from scratch, check out omni.co slash Lenny for a free three-week trial. Companies like Perplexity, DBT, and BuzzFeed use Omni to ship analytics their customers can trust. That's omni.co slash Lenny.

[59:02] There's this balance of being confident in your abilities to achieve something big and solve problems. [59:08] And then there's this other piece of just don't over promise. [59:11] Is there anything you help people do to help feel more confident about they will actually be a huge asset to this company and they're worth it? [59:18] all this extra money [59:19] Is it like a pep talk? How do you help people? [59:22] Yeah, part of my hat is hype man hat, right? You got to be hype man to a degree. [59:27] And [59:28] I work with some of the most privileged and successful people in the world. [59:33] Right. It's not that hard to say, look at your life and look at your choices. Most of the things you've done have been good. [59:39] at least financially. We could debate about the ethics of the companies they work for and those things. [59:44] Now, most of the decisions that you've made in your career have made you a top- [59:48] 10th of a percentile of the earners on the planet. [59:52] Don't tell me you're not confident. [59:54] If you can't pull that, [59:55] Another thing that I do, [59:57] is that I reframe everything in a language that I understand. [1:00:01] So if I'm working with a sales leader, [1:00:03] The job search process is an enterprise sales process. Like if you understand enterprise sales, you understand how to do this. You just don't know how to do it for yourself. [1:00:09] If you're in marketing, [1:00:11] You should know about positioning and market research. That's the same thing as going into a job market. [1:00:15] and understanding what to do. [1:00:17] You understand that an inbound lead is much easier to close than an outbound lead. [1:00:21] if you're in product and you're orchestrating a prd [1:00:24] Right? [1:00:25] It's the same thing. You're understanding the user's demands, [1:00:28] You're creating for those demands. [1:00:30] You're developing the right flow. You're making the design as simple as possible. You're eliminating friction. That's a term I use a lot, which I know product leaders will use also. We want to eliminate friction.

[1:00:40] How does that look in your job search? [1:00:43] Well, [1:00:44] What does the customer want? Who's your buyer? The buyer is the hiring manager. Maybe it's the chief product officer. Maybe it's the CEO. What do they care about? [1:00:52] When you're doing it for a company, you know which customers to interview. You know how to do that. [1:00:57] Well, you need to interview lots of CEOs. You need to interview lots of salespeople who are trying to solve this growth problem or lots of AI side. And again, it's not just product. [1:01:05] Right? [1:01:06] So, [1:01:07] You're now interviewing your customers. You're understanding their needs. Now you're designing solutions for their needs. [1:01:13] Now, how do you make it as frictionless as possible so it's a no-brainer and they go through your user flow as easy as possible? [1:01:19] So for product folks, [1:01:20] Instead of thinking, wow, this stuff sounds like [1:01:23] Machiavellian manipulation, and it sounds like a power trip, and it sounds like something I could never do because I'm not... [1:01:30] Maybe I'm not as gregarious and maybe I'm not a six foot three tall white dude in California. [1:01:36] who's, [1:01:37] got the sales persona and he's got that extroversion. I'm not that. [1:01:41] Don't be me. [1:01:43] Don't be Jacob Light. Be you. You're authentic you. [1:01:46] and apply it to what you already know. [1:01:48] You know how to do this in product. [1:01:51] Design it for your career. [1:01:53] And you remember the early days of writing PRDs and how rough it was? [1:01:57] Remember how rough it was to go back to the engineering team and just... [1:01:59] little by little get product sprints out [1:02:02] where the product is just moving a little bit at a time remember how hard that was [1:02:05] The early days of managing your career like this will feel like that, too. [1:02:09] But you also know that if you're 10 years in your career, this stuff becomes second agent.

[1:02:14] Right? [1:02:15] So I want to reframe [1:02:16] to the experiences that you already know and that will develop confidence. [1:02:20] I like this framing you're referencing here for product people of this idea. Like you're basically trying to position yourself. [1:02:28] the way you position a product kind of the value prop of the... basically as a product team, you're trying to sell people on [1:02:35] Here's why this product is worth [1:02:36] paying money for. [1:02:38] And you do that by understanding [1:02:40] you do user research, you understand their pain points, you understand how to position it so that you [1:02:44] Make it clear, this will solve your pain point. [1:02:46] Essentially, that's what you're describing from when you're interviewing is [1:02:49] Think about it that same way. [1:02:50] The part I don't want to gloss over is making it frictionless. [1:02:53] Right. [1:02:54] So, [1:02:56] interviewing is a skill on both sides [1:02:58] Most people don't know how to interview very well. It's tell me about yourself. Like, tell me about this product you built. Tell me about that. How'd that look? [1:03:05] You don't get anywhere talking about the past. [1:03:07] Like you might build credibility and all that great. [1:03:11] You don't start solving problems in that process. So they're like, okay, well, I saw that. Now you're going to go on to the next person. They're going to do the same crap. [1:03:17] right same thing same thing same thing so you repeat your story ad nauseum and you never learn anything and you never grow [1:03:23] So how do we make this frictionless? Well, I want to make it cognitively easier for you to have a conversation with me. [1:03:30] by leading. [1:03:32] That's why I had that framework I was talking about earlier. Like, why am I here? [1:03:36] What are the problems you have? I suspect it's this. [1:03:38] What have you done about it? [1:03:40] What would it look like if we solved it? [1:03:42] Now, I'm taking so much of the pressure off of you

[1:03:45] I'm controlling the narrative and I'm collecting more information while revealing none about my comp expectations. [1:03:50] And what I'm focused on is creating as much value as possible. [1:03:54] Now, there are situations where companies don't have the budget. [1:03:56] Right. Like this isn't a miracle drug kind of thing. [1:03:59] But I'm making it frictionless. [1:04:01] To at least get to the part where they want you. That's the first step. They have to want you for you to have any leverage. [1:04:07] Right. [1:04:07] then even in the interview processes, I might say, hey, Lenny, [1:04:10] You know, I suspect the next person I talk to from your ecosystem is Mark Andreessen. [1:04:15] Right. Can you give me some advice on how I should work with Mark? [1:04:18] I want you to coach me on how to deal with Mark. [1:04:22] That's going to make it more frictionless. Now, I also want to put you in a position to be a coach. [1:04:27] Because coaches want their players to succeed. [1:04:30] So if I'm having you coach me, psychologically, you're going to go talk to Mark and you're going to say, hey, Mark. [1:04:35] You're going to have to talk to Jacob for all these reasons. [1:04:37] Then when I talk to Mark, [1:04:39] I get to say, you know, Lenny shared that I should talk about X, Y, and Z thing. Are those, is that really what you care about? [1:04:46] I'm making it frictionless across the process, and I'm closing the next part of the conversation [1:04:51] regardless of whether you wanted me to introduce me to those other people or not. [1:04:55] So you might say... [1:04:57] Let's say you're interviewing for product role. [1:04:59] I suspect you want me to talk to the head of engineering. [1:05:02] I suspect you'll want me to talk to Clay... [1:05:05] the VP of Marketing. [1:05:06] And I suspect you want me to talk to... [1:05:08] Catherine, the VP of sales. [1:05:10] Right? [1:05:11] What would you like me to say to them? [1:05:13] What's the message you want me to share? [1:05:15] and they may not have had them in the interview process, in the cycle,

[1:05:18] but I'm putting them in the cycle. [1:05:21] Like I'm making it easier for you to know who to introduce me to next. [1:05:24] And then I'll even go as far as saying, [1:05:26] I'm not available again until Thursday. What's the chance that time works? [1:05:31] So I'm building scarcity about my time. I can meet with this VP then. [1:05:35] But I'm making myself stickier in the organization. I'm getting more knowledge about what people need. [1:05:40] So this is similar to selling an enterprise deal. You're building champions. [1:05:45] in the organization that love you and they're all coaching you on how to coach you like to work with each other. [1:05:51] So you're getting the inside scoop on how to navigate that. [1:05:54] That's how you become [1:05:55] hyper valuable. [1:05:56] You need to create that leverage. [1:05:58] If you want to take that standard 20% we talked about, [1:06:02] and make it 40 or more. [1:06:04] That's why it starts much sooner, because if you're not doing that, [1:06:07] If you come to me and you're like, Jacob, I have an offer... [1:06:09] I can get you maybe 40. [1:06:11] right if you come to me sooner i might have elevated that initial offer 40 without you knowing it and then we moved it even further [1:06:18] Right? [1:06:18] So it's a big process that we need to be mindful of. [1:06:21] So it seems like a big part of your process and advice is to flip it [1:06:26] Flip the interview as much as you can. [1:06:28] to extract information so that you can build a case of how you will solve their pain. [1:06:33] Say you're like an IC product manager interviewing at Meta. [1:06:37] what are the odds you can kind of flip these conversations or take a big chunk of that talk [1:06:42] from them asking you their standard questions to you asking them what are the biggest problems, what would be awesome if I came in.

[1:06:49] Like all that stuff you shared about it takes track. [1:06:51] to build this case later. [1:06:53] One of the things I found frustrated about IC Rolls [1:06:55] is they're not often rewarded as well as leadership roles, which is frustrating because [1:07:00] There are a lot of very talented ICs. Now I have seen specifically with meta, I actually interviewed for a meta IC manager role like an I-9 that was like 1.2 million a year. [1:07:10] They were specifically hiring former CEOs, and I found that to be interesting. They hired 150 growth PMs at this I-9 level. [1:07:16] And they were rewarding them very well. [1:07:19] I don't think it changes. [1:07:21] I think that whether you're a leader of people or you're a leader of process, you're still a leader. [1:07:25] And the reason I propose taking ownership of the conversation isn't to be... [1:07:30] steamrolling or talking over people or or completely like I'm not saying do this devoid of context I [1:07:36] You don't just blow out and talk over somebody and ramble, right? [1:07:40] Which I'm one to talk apparently. [1:07:41] But, uh... [1:07:43] You go into this conversation and you ebb and flow with them. [1:07:47] Right. But you, [1:07:48] the reason I want you to take ownership is because I can't control [1:07:52] who you're going to get on the other side of the line. [1:07:54] I can't control the mood they're in. [1:07:56] I can't control their motivations. I can't. So as a coach, [1:08:00] I can't control how they show up. [1:08:03] but you can control how you show up. [1:08:06] And we can work to navigate. And then you start to get some [1:08:09] I guess, nuanced skills where you read body language and you feel comfortable saying, [1:08:14] Lenny, I saw that that [1:08:15] maybe wasn't the right thing to say. Can you tell me more about that? [1:08:18] then you start getting confidence and

[1:08:20] I say assertiveness, not aggressiveness. There's a difference. [1:08:25] And so that comes across as confidence. [1:08:28] And so I don't think there's a difference between being an IC and being [1:08:32] a leader in terms of how you approach this, [1:08:34] But I have noticed a difference in the pay. [1:08:36] And that can be frustrating. [1:08:38] So that means if I were working with more IC folks, I would ask questions like, [1:08:44] It sounds like independent contributor roles are very valuable at Meta. Can you share a little bit about how they're valued compared to leaders on the team? [1:08:52] I might ask a question like that. [1:08:54] Because, again, they can't say, "We value you less." [1:08:58] I've given them a reputation where they have to say we value you. [1:09:02] Then... [1:09:04] You get your offer, you check levels, or you check some of these benchmarks, because we all do it. [1:09:08] We look, we want to know. Maybe we call about a couple of friends that are a similar level. [1:09:12] then you can use objective criteria against them. You mentioned that you valued ICs as much as leaders. [1:09:19] right i just got curious so i did a little digging and it looks like this this is like about 30 percent under what a leader would make is that [1:09:25] Is that normal? [1:09:27] I appreciate you being an advocate for me and pushing back. Can you help me understand if we can lift this to be [1:09:33] more equitable. [1:09:35] I'm using information I gathered for them. And I'm not just beating them up with it. I'm just saying, "You said..." [1:09:41] We treat this fairly. [1:09:43] Proven. [1:09:45] or prove to me that you lied. [1:09:46] And this works is what you're saying, because like if I was the hiring manager, be like, no, I'm sorry, that's just not how it is.

[1:09:52] I mean, in many cases, it can be. [1:09:55] Right? [1:09:56] I'm trying to open up an emotional conversation more so than logic and credibility because you lose. You'll always lose the logical and credible argument against a company. There's information asymmetry here. Meta negotiates. [1:10:09] thousands of times a day you negotiate four or five times in your career that's it [1:10:14] right? Thousands of times a day. Recruiters thousands of times a day. [1:10:17] You are at such a disadvantage. This should also give you confidence to negotiate in the first place. [1:10:22] You are at such a disadvantage. [1:10:24] I just wrote an article on [1:10:27] The game of Werewolf. [1:10:29] As an example, [1:10:30] about how important information is. [1:10:32] So the game of werewolves, pretty simple. Say there's 12 people sitting in a room. [1:10:36] two, three of them are werewolves, right? [1:10:38] They draw a card at random, three people, two people, whatever. They get their card, and they know they're werewolves. [1:10:44] There's a day and night scene and the werewolves get to reveal themselves to each other. So they say, oh, you're a werewolf? Okay, we're werewolves. [1:10:52] Then they go round by round and they politic to vote somebody off of the table. [1:10:56] Right? [1:10:57] Only two to three people understand. [1:11:00] When the werewolves reach parity, [1:11:02] with the villagers. [1:11:04] The werewolves win. [1:11:05] Right. [1:11:06] In even a [1:11:08] like a six to one or a five to one situation. Um, [1:11:11] Werewolves win 60%, 70% of the time. [1:11:14] It shows the power of information. They understand everyone else is clueless. They know who's dangerous. They know who's not. [1:11:20] And that's just a... [1:11:21] outnumbered situation. Now, these companies have significant leverage over you.

[1:11:25] They know what people make, they know what others make, they know what they'll accept, they know their budgets, they know how to change the budgets. [1:11:31] And what I find interesting, especially with executives, [1:11:34] They push back on this process. [1:11:36] And I'm not going to lie, it's much easier for executives to do this than it is for middle managers or lower. [1:11:41] So if you are hiring manager Lenny and you put your director hat on, it's easy to deny somebody like that because... [1:11:46] it's a little bit easier to find another product manager. [1:11:49] A little bit. Right. If we do our job to differentiate, [1:11:52] then we're doing better there. [1:11:53] But, [1:11:55] executives that are afraid to push back [1:11:58] Like your job is to make these rules. [1:12:00] You know who to influence to change them. [1:12:03] You understand how the P&L works. That's what you do for a living. And you're telling me there's no flexibility? [1:12:09] You built it. Humans built this. [1:12:12] This is not concrete authority. [1:12:14] This can be influenced. [1:12:16] Why not try? [1:12:18] Let's try to summarize maybe the top five [1:12:22] tactical tips that you've shared. [1:12:24] If we're just to kind of go through and bullet points, just things people should keep in mind when they're trying to negotiate. [1:12:29] Like one that comes to mind is don't speak. Don't show the number first. [1:12:32] Try to get them to share number first. Is that is that right? [1:12:35] Yeah, you also have to know how to respond if they share the number first. I'd rather no numbers be discussed if you're open to... [1:12:42] Just waiting it out. [1:12:43] and seeing. So [1:12:45] Important pieces. So, you know, [1:12:47] The first one is, you'd never be so sure of your worth that you wouldn't accept more. I think Chris Voss quotes that quite frequently. [1:12:54] The other one has never split the difference. And I have a good story about that. So just because...

[1:13:01] Somebody says... [1:13:03] you know, [1:13:03] You start at $100. You say $200. They come in at $150. [1:13:07] That's lazy. [1:13:08] Right. [1:13:09] One brief example of this, I had a chief revenue officer [1:13:13] Yeah. And [1:13:14] They were paid $350,000 base salary, $350,000 bonus, so $700,000 cash potential each year. [1:13:22] So that's called on-target earnings. They'll make $700. [1:13:25] When we negotiated their severance, [1:13:28] We said we wanted six months on target earnings. It was all agreed. [1:13:32] Right. [1:13:32] The paperwork comes back. [1:13:34] And it says six months base salary. [1:13:37] Not on target earnings. [1:13:38] So, [1:13:40] That means... [1:13:41] Six months of base salary is like 187.5, right? [1:13:44] So they cut his severance in half by doing that. Now his response was, I'll just tell the CEO, [1:13:49] Like, let's up that 90 and it'll be down 90. He was going to split the difference to like 260 or something, whatever the mass out to. [1:13:56] And I said instead... [1:13:57] Simply ask... [1:13:59] Was that a mistake? [1:14:01] We had discussed on target earnings that was intentional. Was that a mistake? He said, oh, yeah, must have been. Let me just tell the attorneys to fix it. Feel free to redline it. [1:14:09] So he almost lost 90 grand just splitting the difference, if not more. [1:14:13] Right? [1:14:14] And then turns out 12 months later, he got fired and then he was able to recoup $350,000 over six months. [1:14:20] So little things like trying to split the difference. [1:14:23] too early can be painful. [1:14:25] So that was... [1:14:26] Two points, I think. I know this is parts I'm bad at. Trying to get a list of five. This is great. [1:14:31] Patience is more important.

[1:14:33] Things need to slow down. Haste equals risk. [1:14:37] the [1:14:38] Slower you go, the more opportunity you have to collect information so that you can build a compelling case. [1:14:43] Right. [1:14:44] That's important. [1:14:45] uh, [1:14:48] I am a big believer in Aristotle. [1:14:51] and his principles of rhetoric. [1:14:53] in Ethos Pathos Logos. And so I've mentioned a little bit of this in their more common tone of... [1:14:58] logic, credibility and emotion. [1:15:01] timing is another one that we don't often talk about. Kairos is important. [1:15:05] But too many executives lean on credibility and logic. [1:15:08] because we're trained to do that. [1:15:10] We don't show emotion. We don't show the authentic side of ourselves in corporate. [1:15:14] I think oftentimes because we're working soulless jobs that we don't believe in and we're just trying to make do and survive for our families. I think there's a greater need there. [1:15:22] The emotional side is where a lot of deals get unfair. [1:15:25] So if we understand how to tap into that, [1:15:28] I want to say Chris Voss. I keep mentioning Chris Voss, but I think he calls it tactical empathy. That sounds more Machiavellian than anything I've ever said. But understanding those motivations and understanding how to play on that can be important. [1:15:41] Right. So when we talk about [1:15:43] giving people a positive reputation [1:15:45] We're playing into some emotions here. [1:15:48] So if I'm a female negotiating with another female, I might say, [1:15:51] I appreciate that you've always been an advocate for women and you support [1:15:55] one another. That's something I respect about you. [1:15:58] And then their cop comes in lower than a man's cop. [1:16:01] you can call them out on that and say, if you were in my shoes, what would you do?

[1:16:06] That's one of my favorite lines. If you were in my shoes, like go backwards five years in your career. That's where I'm at right now. [1:16:12] "If you were in my shoes, what would you ask for?" [1:16:15] I love that one, Negotiation Stall also. [1:16:18] Right? [1:16:19] You know what's possible here. You know what levers we have. It sounds like we're capped out here. [1:16:24] If you were in my shoes, what else would you explore? [1:16:27] And you start to go that route as well. [1:16:29] Um, [1:16:30] The other piece is this is a collaboration project [1:16:33] not a confrontation. [1:16:35] So if I could give visual advice, oftentimes, this is why it's also can be difficult in a Zoom. [1:16:41] You and I are kind of face to face. [1:16:44] We have this problem between us, right? That's an adversarial position. [1:16:48] I want you to physically pretend that you're in the same room. [1:16:52] And I walked to your office and I put my arm around you if you're comfortable with it. [1:16:56] And instead of us arguing over something, we're whiteboarding a solution together. [1:17:01] I won. [1:17:02] collaboration in them. [1:17:03] That's how we break down [1:17:05] walls and barriers because you're sharing information, I'm sharing information, [1:17:10] Those types of things. [1:17:11] the [1:17:13] I think that was four. Maybe it was five. [1:17:15] Another one is... [1:17:18] Make it about we, not about me. [1:17:21] Right? [1:17:22] So another severance conversation. [1:17:25] with a chief marketing officer. This is a hundred percent [1:17:27] in $200 million private company a couple years ago. [1:17:31] So she comes in. [1:17:32] She gets offered $340,000 base salary, 30% bonus.

[1:17:36] Equity. [1:17:37] We tried to push on all that and the CEO said, "Look, [1:17:40] One of the things I pride myself in [1:17:43] is that everyone here has $340,000 base, 30%, and the same equity package. Everyone on the executive leadership team. [1:17:50] right now she was getting pulled from a hot company. [1:17:54] which is risky because she was safe there. [1:17:56] She actually was getting a raise coming to this company, so we didn't need to push on more money. [1:18:00] What we went for was severance protections. [1:18:03] Right. [1:18:03] And so we asked, like, [1:18:05] Standard is about six months, maybe plus... [1:18:08] another month for every year served. [1:18:11] And the CEO's like, oh, we've never done that before. [1:18:14] And so instead of it being like you're negotiating the terms of your divorce before you get married, that's what's awkward here. [1:18:20] We said... [1:18:21] Well, given that we've had a problem with talent being poached and going elsewhere, [1:18:26] We just did a big riff. [1:18:28] Wouldn't it make us look good to proactively give everyone on the executive leadership team six months to show that they're safe and committed to the company? [1:18:36] And then we fed that idea to the CEO so the CEO could look like the hero. [1:18:41] More importantly, when my client came into that company, she looked like a hero. [1:18:45] Because everyone's like, that's the woman that negotiated to solve severance protections. [1:18:49] Right. [1:18:50] So we made the company, we used the company's equitable policies to do that. [1:18:55] Now, I will say that's not common. [1:18:57] Right? [1:18:57] So folks are like, damn, that's fantastical. That may not happen. Especially with private equity, it usually doesn't. [1:19:03] There are ways that [1:19:06] We want to appeal to humanity more so, if we can.

[1:19:09] Um, [1:19:11] Bonus point. [1:19:12] I know I'm monologuing a lot. [1:19:14] Don't be afraid to get creative. [1:19:16] Creativity is interesting and [1:19:18] One time we got someone at G-Wagon. [1:19:21] after being like maxed out on comp i like this story because it's so out of this world that you're not going to get a g-wag and i promise you it is likely not going to happen [1:19:30] But we had this CEO who had two offers that were both $2.4 million and they were stalled. [1:19:35] First world problem, right? Like tiny violin, 2.4 million a year. [1:19:39] this CEO deal, [1:19:40] Yeah. [1:19:41] She told me, and this was... [1:19:43] just a joke like if this wasn't some machiavellian plan she's like look i don't know which to choose they're both maxed out [1:19:49] and I was trying to say, "Which one would you like more?" She wasn't giving me anything. [1:19:52] They're both fine, whatever. [1:19:54] I... [1:19:55] And I said, "Well, I don't know, what kind of car do you like?" [1:19:59] Right? [1:20:00] And, uh, [1:20:01] She she's all I love Mercedes. [1:20:04] Tell them that, jokingly, because they inevitably came to, look, [1:20:09] What's it going to take to hire you? [1:20:10] And she's like, I don't know, like... [1:20:13] Oh, maybe a company car. [1:20:14] And they said, well, what kind do you like? And then she said, Mercedes. [1:20:18] And they're like, "Done, what model?" [1:20:20] And then she's like, oh, a G-Wagon. And what happened was all the budgets were capped. [1:20:25] But it was a company write-off. [1:20:27] to have a 6,000-pound vehicle... [1:20:29] So it was a $350,000 car added to her contract [1:20:34] There was a company write-off that reduced the tax expense. [1:20:37] So that's not going to happen. I don't suggest people go ask for G-Wagons, but

[1:20:42] The fact is... [1:20:43] We came to a stall point and we found a solution for that. [1:20:47] I love these stories. [1:20:49] Another tip I want to double down on is don't negotiate over email. [1:20:55] make it in person if possible or a video call, right? [1:20:58] Yeah, absolutely. [1:21:00] You have to be more comfortable understanding the body language and the tone you're picking up these things. [1:21:05] that [1:21:06] You can't control when somebody opens their phone. [1:21:10] The worst thing is they're on their way to pick up their kids at school. [1:21:13] and they open your email, and it just doesn't sit right with them, and they're in traffic. You can't control whether someone's going to do that. [1:21:19] Or like I said earlier, being [1:21:20] Busy at the airport, rushed through security. [1:21:23] or they just got off a call with somebody that's frustrated. [1:21:26] But if I hop into a video call and I can see that you're visibly frustrated, like if for whatever reason you look like your toddler kept you up all night, [1:21:33] I'd say... [1:21:34] Hey Lenny. [1:21:35] Would you like to reschedule? [1:21:36] to a time that feels more comfortable for you. [1:21:39] Right. So that we can get the most out of our time together. [1:21:42] That is a blessing. [1:21:44] You couldn't do that over email. [1:21:46] Say things actually do fall apart. Say you just push too hard and they're just like, [1:21:50] Okay, we're going to move on with another candidate where they make you an offer and they rescinded. [1:21:56] or they promise something and they don't deliver. [1:21:59] How do you approach when things go sideways? [1:22:02] A couple of elements of that sort. One, the not delivering pieces, that's more common. [1:22:07] rescinded offers. I've never had a client with a rescinded offer. [1:22:11] What I will get is a no.

[1:22:13] This is a top ticket or leave it. [1:22:14] Fine, they get an ultimatum. Fine. [1:22:17] I have, however, helped somebody. They weren't a client. [1:22:21] also a CMO. [1:22:23] And she... [1:22:26] She was offered an $800,000 contract. [1:22:29] total cash wise. [1:22:30] Yeah, and [1:22:32] It was rescinded. [1:22:33] And so I took this case on pro bono. I got a phone call. I was like, I just want to see how this plays out. [1:22:38] Right. [1:22:39] And, [1:22:40] She was in tears. She lost this deal. It turns out she had a career coach that said, [1:22:45] You need to negotiate like a white man. [1:22:48] That was her advice. You need to be aggressive, you need to do this, you need to do that. You need to negotiate for your worth. [1:22:54] I understand the appeal of that as if I would understand a woman that wants to negotiate like a man and get hers. I respect that. [1:23:02] Right. [1:23:03] In this situation, the context that was missing is that she was negotiating with other women. [1:23:08] So she was negotiating with a female CEO. [1:23:10] And [1:23:11] three other females on the executive leadership team, and they rescinded the offer because it sounded like she was a bad cultural fit. [1:23:18] Because she was acting like a man. She wasn't being her authentic self. She was acting in this persona that she wasn't comfortable with. [1:23:24] And to be honest, she said to me, I wasn't comfortable with that advice, but I did it anyway because... [1:23:30] women should stand up for each other we should push right [1:23:33] And I commended her for that. And so what we did was I said, look, [1:23:37] Call the CEO. [1:23:39] Explain what happened. [1:23:40] Share that, you know, [1:23:42] Obviously,

[1:23:45] it's important that women take care of each other. [1:23:47] Right? [1:23:48] And it's clear to me that you have, there's that positive reputation, right? [1:23:53] I got to be honest with you. I hired a coach. [1:23:56] to try to understand [1:23:58] what to do because in the past I failed. [1:24:01] In the past, I haven't been my best advocate. In the past, I've done less. [1:24:05] I suspect you know what that's like. [1:24:07] Boom, shared identity. [1:24:09] Right? [1:24:10] They all know all women know this together collectively. This is a shared identity tribe thing, right? [1:24:15] I made a mistake. [1:24:16] And I disagreed with the advice, but I did it anyway because I had to try. [1:24:21] And they brought the offer back on the table for her authenticity and transparency. [1:24:26] So that was the path that we... [1:24:28] It was two phone calls to come up with that idea. [1:24:30] She got that deal back on the table and is now happily making $800,000 each. [1:24:34] Right. So, [1:24:35] When things go south, approach it with honesty. [1:24:39] integrity say like i made a mistake take ownership extreme ownership really helps here [1:24:44] That could probably be one of those [1:24:46] those points, [1:24:47] When you fail to deliver, take ownership of that. Take that note. [1:24:51] It may mean you're getting level set a little bit in your career. That's okay. You're still growing. [1:24:56] I love that approach of just like, okay, I hired this coach. They gave me bad advice. [1:25:01] It made me feel good too. I was like, "Shoulda hired me!" It's interesting how negotiation is different if you're a man versus a woman. [1:25:11] Do you take a different approach if it's a female client versus a male and it's just like, here's you should approach it this way or or depends on the I take a different approach on every person. So whether you're a product leader or a marketing leader or a sales leader or you're from San Francisco or you're from Dubai.

[1:25:26] or you're from New York, or you're from L.A., [1:25:29] Like. [1:25:30] or you're German, or everybody is different culturally. [1:25:33] So male, female, like every little nuance [1:25:36] is important. If you're [1:25:38] You're gay or you're black or there are different challenges that everybody has to overcome. [1:25:45] Right. [1:25:45] And I remember... [1:25:47] This was a powerful one. I was speaking to Chief. [1:25:49] There's about 400 women in chief. And I'm the... [1:25:52] I'm the white dude mansplaining to all these women about negotiations. It's like the scariest position for me to be in. [1:25:58] And I remember there was this African-American gal [1:26:01] And she said, Jacob, should we just negotiate for 84% because that's what we're going to get anyway? [1:26:08] Right? [1:26:09] Like that's defeatist. Like that sucks to have that feeling. [1:26:13] Right now, I don't know what that feels like. [1:26:15] Like I have, I have, [1:26:17] done fairly well for myself and there are some advantages that I had. [1:26:20] But I said, look, like, [1:26:21] How many of you in here are mothers? Many of these women raise their hand. [1:26:25] Right. [1:26:25] How many of you are mothers to daughters? [1:26:28] Right? [1:26:28] Many of them raised their hands. [1:26:30] I said, could you look your little girl in the eyes? [1:26:32] and say, sweetheart, just get 80% out there. [1:26:35] Let's go after that and do that. [1:26:37] Right? [1:26:38] And it kind of shocked the room a little bit because I can't compete on that level. I don't know what that feels like. I can't do that. [1:26:44] But I said, look, [1:26:45] If we don't learn to grow together, [1:26:48] We're never going to solve this problem. [1:26:50] So what we're trying to do here, and this is what I encourage all listeners to do, [1:26:54] fight back there's a big power imbalance

[1:26:57] Right. Here's the founders come again again. Jacob, don't tell him to do that. [1:27:01] I don't want to revolt. [1:27:02] Take care of them. [1:27:03] Right? [1:27:04] Push back because a rising tide raises all ships. [1:27:08] Right? [1:27:08] If companies want to rely on precedent, [1:27:11] Have the audacity to raise the precedent because the next people in line will do that. [1:27:17] To the point about collaboration, this is actually with one of your readers. [1:27:22] that read that first article we did. [1:27:24] We made a lot of money on this deal. And they came to work with you? Oh, I love this. Yeah, so this is fun. [1:27:30] But so... [1:27:32] This is kind of like a private equity hostile takeover situation. [1:27:36] and this reader of yours was getting pushed out of the company. [1:27:39] And if you try to go head to head with the PE, you're going to lose. [1:27:42] Right? [1:27:44] He had a great relationship with the CEO, 10-year relationship. [1:27:47] But the CEO wouldn't take any action to support it. [1:27:50] right? Until we made it about we. The CEO had made comments that I'm probably going to get fired too. [1:27:56] Right? [1:27:57] So what we did was we talked to the CEO and we said – [1:28:00] whatever precedent you help me deliver, you're going to get two to three times that. So we need to set this up. [1:28:06] Right. [1:28:06] So then they were... [1:28:08] Full on, you had the CEO and the CPO, [1:28:11] putting together a game plan to advocate against the private equity. [1:28:14] to support that transition plan [1:28:17] We got a retention bonus and a severance bonus on the table because of that. [1:28:20] Right. [1:28:21] Because now the CEO is protected as well, can point back to some... [1:28:24] Precedent. [1:28:26] Right. [1:28:26] So not everybody does it out of the goodness of their heart, not in a capitalist society, right? You have to show them

[1:28:31] Your motivations here are important. [1:28:34] So women negotiating, if you want women after you, [1:28:37] To have an opportunity, have opportunities and better opportunities than you have, [1:28:42] You have to have the guts to do that. [1:28:45] And that's very easy for me to say, I'm not in your shoes. [1:28:48] But naturally, we have to be a rising tide. And there are folks that aren't going to take that challenge, and that's okay. [1:28:53] Let's all push for those to help and make it easier for everyone. [1:28:56] I love this point you made about how there's no one way to approach this. [1:29:00] The way I was originally thinking we'd do this chat is like a step-by-step guide to negotiating. Here's what you do. One, two, three, four, and this is how your comp goes way up. [1:29:10] And what you told me is that just doesn't exist. [1:29:12] There's so many variables, there's so many types of companies, roles, seniority, people's backgrounds. [1:29:18] Maybe speak to just like if you ever see someone telling you, here's your steps to negotiate comp, just it's probably not real. That was one of the things that was hard about the article we wrote together. [1:29:28] was that I have gains, right? It's a process that I follow. [1:29:33] It's not a concrete step-by-step process, but [1:29:36] One of the reasons I'm so hesitant to go this route is because [1:29:39] Negotiation comes off so complicated. [1:29:42] It's so complicated and so academic. [1:29:44] When you look at the books that were written, [1:29:46] Chris Voss has kind of popularized it lately. [1:29:50] But it's like, [1:29:51] Imagine there's a gun to your head in an FBI situation. You're like, [1:29:54] I don't have a gun to my head, I just am dealing with my boss and I want to understand how to do this. [1:29:58] or you read [1:29:59] getting to yes and it's like well what you need is a strong batna and a good zopa and it's like very academic and you're in the moment trying to have a conversation and have empathy and listen

[1:30:10] But then you're like, what's my zone of possible agreement? What's my best alternative tip? [1:30:15] Those things are all very true, but it comes off intimidating. [1:30:18] Right. [1:30:19] And... [1:30:21] When we... [1:30:23] When we try to focus so much on frameworks and academic, we stop listening. [1:30:28] And that's one of the most important parts is curiosity and empathy are the two things you need to have the most. [1:30:33] Right. [1:30:34] If you're reaching a block, [1:30:36] Why does that block exist? [1:30:39] If you don't know the answer, you haven't asked the right questions. [1:30:42] You don't necessarily know. It's an information imbalance that you have. [1:30:46] And really what negotiation comes down to information and timing. [1:30:50] That's what creates power. [1:30:52] Those are the three things. That's all you need to know. You have to have the information. [1:30:56] When we were talking about that game of Werewolf, [1:30:59] even when you're outnumbered. [1:31:00] 5 to 1. If you have more information, the odds are you'll win. [1:31:04] Right. [1:31:05] So, [1:31:06] I don't want it to be overly complicated. One of the [1:31:10] I guess I have to say it. So I'm trying to write a book this year. I'm going to write it. I'm going to write it. Now it must happen. Now it must happen. I know. I just kind of clinched up a little bit because I've got to do it. It's not early in the year. You've got so much time. [1:31:23] Oh, yeah, thanks. I'm a prolific writer. I'll get after that. [1:31:27] The book title is called Predetermined. [1:31:31] And I wanted it to be predetermined with a question mark. [1:31:34] Right. [1:31:35] because none of these outcomes are predetermined. [1:31:37] no matter what situation you are in your life, how you were raised,

[1:31:41] it can be more difficult for you. [1:31:43] but it's not predetermined. [1:31:45] And it's [1:31:46] It's one of the reasons I love this work is that I don't know what the outcome can be. [1:31:51] We don't know. [1:31:52] You should never be so sure because then you start putting a ceiling on your life. [1:31:57] And one of my favorite things to ask somebody, [1:32:00] And they're like, oh, Jacob, I want to do this in five years. [1:32:02] I'd say, what would that look like if it was done in one? [1:32:05] What must be true? [1:32:07] I'm truncating that experience just to think through it, not necessarily that I'm asking them to rush through it or whatever. [1:32:12] But I have clients that... [1:32:14] They'll have $10 or $15 million in the bank, and they'll be in their late 50s. [1:32:18] And they're like, oh, I need 10 or 15 more to retire. [1:32:20] What? [1:32:22] What do you mean you need 10 to 15? Like if I had a million dollars, I would retire. Like give me a break. Like that seems like so much money to me. Why is that the case? [1:32:30] Right? [1:32:31] Um, [1:32:32] So I like to challenge those notions there. [1:32:35] Right? [1:32:36] Um, [1:32:37] It's an important thing to think about. Like it's not as step by step. [1:32:41] as it needs to be. Because sometimes... [1:32:43] Another one of my favorite questions, what would your life look like with less? [1:32:47] Maybe a minimalist or stoic type philosophy. [1:32:50] one of these Hollywood deals we did. [1:32:52] We had a director and a [1:32:55] Marvel superhero. [1:32:56] The Godness Fat. [1:32:57] On a big franchise. [1:32:59] This is an estimated $500 million to $1 billion franchise opportunity. [1:33:04] This A-list celebrity and their writer... [1:33:09] on this third installment of a movie.

[1:33:12] Didn't like it. [1:33:13] So I think celebrity kind of being a pre-Madonna, I hate it. I don't like the directions it's going. They're not writing me right. Fire him. [1:33:19] right, offended the original director because [1:33:22] They wrote... [1:33:23] The first two... [1:33:24] movies and they were very successful to build this franchise. So pissed off, right? [1:33:29] Next writer comes in. This is worse than the one before. Can we just hire back the first one? [1:33:34] You can work through it. [1:33:36] Right? [1:33:36] So, [1:33:37] six months later, production delays, all that. Go back to that original writer. [1:33:42] And the agency's like, [1:33:44] We got to throw money at this guy. [1:33:46] To get them to say, yes, here's a million more dollars. [1:33:49] Right? [1:33:50] Didn't do it. [1:33:50] Like a million dollars wasn't enough. [1:33:53] to mend this relationship. [1:33:55] The important lesson here is it's not always about money. [1:33:58] that individual was making 10 million dollars a year a 10 increase to have to go back to somebody [1:34:04] Not powerful. [1:34:06] Right? [1:34:06] My suggestion was can you ask the actor, this A-list celebrity, [1:34:11] to humble themselves and apologize. [1:34:15] And that is what moved the deal across the line. Actually came in and apologized for the behavior. It's not going to be like that. [1:34:21] That's what got the deal back together. And the million dollars was saved. [1:34:25] So, [1:34:25] It's not always about money. I use a lot of money in the stories because it's kind of shock and awe. It's like, wow, like that's going to have big impact. Like. [1:34:33] At the end of the day, if you're making $18 an hour and you negotiate to 24, that's such a material difference in your life. [1:34:40] That is so magical to maybe be able to afford gas for the first time.

[1:34:45] And then I'm telling stories where people haven't thought about [1:34:48] how much gas costs ever. [1:34:50] Right. [1:34:51] So there are situations I remember that. Just 10 years ago, well, 12 years ago, I was homeless. [1:34:57] Like fighting through all this stuff. [1:34:59] and didn't know if I could pay for gas. So it's one of the reasons I'm inspired to do that. [1:35:03] is that you can make a material difference and it compounds throughout your life, but it's not always about money. [1:35:07] I want to follow this Hollywood thread before we wrap up. [1:35:10] I love that you work [1:35:12] with Hollywood fans, [1:35:13] Folks, celebrities, and also deck people, which is most of the audience here, [1:35:18] Is there another wild story from your Hollywood story? [1:35:22] life that might be fun to share. [1:35:25] I think what's interesting about Hollywood... [1:35:27] is that [1:35:28] It's so... [1:35:30] Far-fetched. [1:35:31] You were talking about what happens when offers get rescinded. [1:35:35] Right? [1:35:36] And I... [1:35:37] Before I was working in Hollywood, I would... [1:35:39] I would try to talk people into asking for $20,000 more. [1:35:43] Which, after taxes, is like... [1:35:45] Eighth. [1:35:46] Right. And then when you look at it, it's like four hundred dollars a month. [1:35:49] or whatever, you're struggling to maybe ask for $10,000, $20,000. [1:35:53] In Hollywood, we did this deal with [1:35:56] I can't share who. [1:35:57] A-list celebrity. [1:35:59] And [1:36:00] The company said, [1:36:02] We want to pay her $5 million for this movie. [1:36:05] And the attorney came back. We want $22 million. Yeah. [1:36:10] Thank you. [1:36:11] Talk about being aggressive. [1:36:13] Right? [1:36:14] And the production company is like, all right, how about 13?

[1:36:19] And this was in like a two day span. So they went from 5 million to 13 million dollars in two days. [1:36:24] And [1:36:25] The other, they're like, well, instead of 22, how about [1:36:28] 18 right like they're moving four million dollar chunks at a time and we're over here in tech going like oh i wonder if i can get 10 000. [1:36:36] Right? [1:36:37] So that's something that I just find absolutely wild. The bigger the – like this is just like you want to make money, solve rich people problems. [1:36:45] That's what happens. [1:36:46] It's just escalated. I can only imagine what [1:36:50] a negotiation with like Elon Musk would be like. [1:36:53] throw 100 billion at it and you're like oh my gosh [1:36:57] I also found out that [1:36:59] A million seconds is like 11 days. [1:37:02] Have you ever heard this? [1:37:03] A million seconds is 11 days. Do you know how long a billion seconds is? [1:37:08] like probably hundreds of years. [1:37:10] It's like 30. [1:37:11] 31 years [1:37:13] So between 11 days, that's the discrepancy between a million and a billion, right? And so... [1:37:18] These are just like these things scale so exponentially, right? [1:37:22] It's just that... [1:37:23] What you say and how you negotiate just kind of changes. So if you want to really increase your comp, you do have to move rooms. [1:37:31] You have to start networking and making connections with folks that can do that with you. [1:37:35] Maybe as a last question, just to get very tactical, somebody that maybe is about to get an offer, got an offer, will get an offer in the near future. [1:37:44] What's the first thing they should do to help them increase the comp? Is it just reply with, is there room for more? What's like...

[1:37:50] What should they do when they get that email? [1:37:52] You always give me these nuanced ones, huh? So it's... [1:37:57] They get it from the recruiter. Yeah, let's say the recruiter is probably right. Recruiter is going to, again, they're probably going to have that 20%. We have a room there. [1:38:07] If you're okay with that, I might, again, just say, what's the chance we can bump up? [1:38:12] Like this is what I was looking for. [1:38:13] Right. [1:38:14] I would probably... [1:38:15] Knowing that the recruiter is going to split the difference. [1:38:18] I would probably anchor higher versus lower. [1:38:21] There have been some studies, and I've read a lot of negotiation books. There's one from the 70s on. [1:38:26] these negotiation games, and those who... [1:38:29] Those who anchored egregiously high won 75% more than those who just tried to be... [1:38:35] Reasonable. [1:38:36] Right. [1:38:37] So it's like, look, I was hoping for 150,000 more. Sometimes you get 70. [1:38:41] Sometimes you get 50. [1:38:43] But if you asked for 50 more, you would have got... [1:38:45] 15. [1:38:46] Right? [1:38:47] So, [1:38:48] If you are going to re-anchor, just say, hey, I was kind of in the ballpark of this. [1:38:52] Again, with the nuance, you may have already committed to a range before, and it can be difficult to have that conversation. [1:38:58] So I might say, "Hey, after we've had the conversations with the hiring manager and yada yada, [1:39:03] It sounds like the scope of the role has increased. Are you open to revisiting the comp structure on this? [1:39:09] That's likely how I would respond. [1:39:11] If the recruiter says... [1:39:12] This is all we can do. [1:39:15] and you have the audacity to do this i may send a text message or an email to the hiring manager

[1:39:21] You say, hey, we're almost across the line. [1:39:23] It sounds like we had a sticking point. [1:39:26] Are you open to have a conversation? [1:39:28] That's who I want to close with. [1:39:30] And I don't want to put the recruiter down. [1:39:32] It just sounds like we're at a sticking point here and I'm really looking forward to working with you. Are you open to chat real quick? [1:39:37] I don't need to have a big laundry list of I'm going to do this for you and I'm going to do that. [1:39:41] That will not work. [1:39:43] And I've noticed this in our back and forth in your emails. [1:39:46] Like you'll respond with two words. [1:39:48] That's all you need. [1:39:49] You don't often need more. So the more confident you get, the shorter your communication gets. [1:39:56] And, [1:39:57] Sometimes it can be as simple as texting the hiring manager saying, [1:40:00] Open to chat. [1:40:02] You don't give them any reason. It's just open to chat. And then you control the conversation. [1:40:07] Hopefully that was tactical enough. If it's not, I do have a lot of written scripts. [1:40:12] that are out there that you can copy and paste so you don't have to just rip the transcript down from all of Lenny's videos. [1:40:17] I do have written scripts and guides for this, and I have a free course on how to do this, too, that's on YouTube. [1:40:23] It's not like if you need the actual specifics, there are a lot of scenarios I've already kind of covered. Amazing, and we'll link to all that. And I think it's – I asked you what you were hoping to get out of this before we started recording. [1:40:35] Just to be clear, you're not looking for new clients. You're booked up. You share all of this stuff out there. You have this free course. You have all these Substack posts. [1:40:46] So that's what I love about you. It's not like you're trying to, it's not like some deal leaf flow here. [1:40:51] My mission is to make what I've learned from very successful people more accessible.

[1:40:55] And if you put a pay band on all of that, you're not making it accessible. [1:41:00] In my experience, [1:41:01] hourly fees are very high. [1:41:03] Right. So it's like, I don't want to... [1:41:05] push for that and [1:41:07] feel like I'm unobtainable. So I want to give away as much as I can. [1:41:11] And, [1:41:12] It's these things shouldn't be gatekept. They often are. [1:41:16] But, yeah, I was mentioned a little bit in the green room. I felt a little powerless growing up. [1:41:21] There's like some... [1:41:23] A little substance abuse and trauma as I was growing up, and I never felt... [1:41:27] comfortable or safe. [1:41:28] And so when I... [1:41:30] became a little older, I started to [1:41:33] understand psychology a little bit differently. [1:41:35] Because the same fear I'd have as a child... [1:41:38] I could see in the boardroom. [1:41:40] I could see the same fight-or-flight mechanisms, but that was far less scary. [1:41:45] Right. So it's just money. Money is like, I'm not going to get hit. [1:41:48] Nobody's going to get hurt here. [1:41:50] So I could start to see that and I could see the body language and I can understand when somebody was in a tense moment. [1:41:56] And all I ever wanted to do, because I felt that from a little kid, [1:41:59] was help that person feel safe. [1:42:02] Help them feel safe in that moment. So I've been obsessed over how to solve that. [1:42:06] for my entire career. First for myself, [1:42:09] And then what became natural for me is for other people because I could see their growth. [1:42:14] And that's what became most fulfilling. [1:42:17] There's a whole other conversation we could have about that whole party. We've got to be careful about that one, yeah. [1:42:23] That one, I might start crying on that one. Okay, well, that makes good content.

[1:42:28] That could be part two. That'll be the comments. Next time, make Jacob cry, Lenny. Go for the kill. Go for the kill. I hope not. I don't think my people want that. We'll see. [1:42:42] Okay, before we get to our very exciting lightning round, [1:42:45] Jacob, is there anything else you want to share? Anything else you want to leave listeners with? [1:42:49] If you're going to take a chance, take a chance on yourself. [1:42:53] I'm sure a lot of these folks are parents or a lot of these people are parents and parents [1:42:57] You want to. [1:42:58] You want to be the best version of yourself and show that your kids think you could survive anything. You're going to get a couple bruises along the way. [1:43:06] Right. Like these are great first world problems to try to fight for. [1:43:09] Right? Like it's not [1:43:11] It's not going to take away your home. [1:43:15] The thing is... [1:43:16] you're only going to make life better around you, right? If your cup overfloweth, [1:43:20] Right. You'll be able to give more to others. [1:43:23] So it's not about, am I worth it? Is that... [1:43:27] If you are a generous person, naturally, you can be more generous if you have more wealth. [1:43:32] Right. [1:43:32] If you're afraid of wealth, this is something that really screwed me up. [1:43:35] Like I used to despise wealth. [1:43:37] You despised it. [1:43:39] Right? [1:43:40] And [1:43:41] I don't know why it was like miss. Like I didn't trust people with money. I felt like they all had to be dirty or they all had to do something. And to be fair, [1:43:49] A lot of people do. [1:43:50] things that are highly questionable and unethical, right? And we see that in the world around us. [1:43:55] But if you fear it, [1:43:57] and you don't understand it,

[1:43:58] you'll never have an opportunity to change it. [1:44:01] And so you need to take some chances on yourself with this. And if I, hopefully that's another piece, just, [1:44:06] Having the confidence to go out and try, even if you fail, you're failing forward, you're learning. [1:44:11] You're going to find a style that works best for you. [1:44:14] It's not that Jacob Warwick's style is the style that's awesome or Lenny's style is the style. You don't need to copy anyone else. You need to find... [1:44:21] that center that works well for you and what you're comfortable with. [1:44:25] That is beautiful. [1:44:26] I'm also realizing as we're talking, we haven't mentioned AI once in this conversation, which is incredible. The listeners are like, oh, thank goodness. Yeah, that's how I feel. Thank goodness. Just once in a while. [1:44:41] It's because I don't want AI to replace me, Lenny. I don't want it. I... [1:44:46] Yeah, like I don't even know. Anyway, we're kidding. Okay, I got you speechless. That's the job. If you get the podcast host speechless, you're doing your job. That's great. Okay, well, we did it. [1:44:57] With that, Jacob, we have reached our very exciting lightning round. I've got five questions for you. Are you ready? [1:45:03] All right. I will do the best I can. Yeah. Here we go. What are two or three books you find yourself recommending most to other people? [1:45:12] Influenced by Robert Cialdini. [1:45:16] Sweetie Miller, that's the one. That's the one. I mean... [1:45:19] I like Herb Cohen's You Can Negotiate Anything. It's a little dated. [1:45:23] Like, [1:45:25] Old white dude in the 80s dated, so... [1:45:27] Be mindful, it doesn't suit all audiences, but it's

[1:45:30] What I like about it is they talk about negotiating dishwashers and stuff, not... [1:45:35] like going to market with meta versus Instagram and the acquisition, like it's not complicated. It's like, here's an apple and here's an orange and here's the concept of negotiation really spelled out simple. Yeah. [1:45:45] Um... [1:45:46] I did just do a podcast with John Lowry, and he wrote a book called Negotiation Made Simple. [1:45:52] And [1:45:53] I remember reading it and I was pissed off. [1:45:55] because [1:45:56] I'm like... [1:45:57] I wanted to write a book a couple years ago, and then I read his and said, this is what I wanted to write. [1:46:03] So I was frustrated. [1:46:04] And then I was like, I'm going to reach out to him because I have a lot of respect for him. So I did his podcast. That'll be live soon. But yeah, that was Negotiation Made Simple. It really breaks it down. [1:46:12] in an easy way and that could be like a bible [1:46:15] uh, [1:46:17] And then I like Radical Candor. I know some of your guests put that on. I've met Kim Scott. She's phenomenal. [1:46:22] Like that. [1:46:23] Radical candor really gave me the confidence to be assertive in the ways that I never had been before. So my wife taught me that. [1:46:30] Kim Scott embraced it in the corporate world, and those two pieces really helped elevate my career. [1:46:35] I think Radical Candor is the second most mentioned book on this podcast behind high output management. [1:46:41] Yeah, I have not read that. [1:46:43] Uh, admittedly, I'm bad at consuming content. I'm not, I, I only create, I've got this rule that create 10 times more content than you consume. [1:46:52] So I read like one book a year. [1:46:54] And now apparently I'm going to write one book. [1:46:56] So, [1:46:57] Maybe that'll be the new goal. That's a great framework. Okay, next question. Do you have a favorite recent movie or TV show you've really enjoyed?

[1:47:04] I've been really liking watching Luca. [1:47:06] Thank you. [1:47:07] The Disney movie. [1:47:08] having a toddler and a newborn. I really just watch cartoons. [1:47:13] Now. [1:47:14] So I actually for low stimulating things, [1:47:18] I really like miniscule. [1:47:20] It's like a YouTube short that's like French made. [1:47:25] It's like spiders and flies and bugs just... [1:47:30] very low stimulation hanging around. That's not appealing. No, that's why it's so good, because you're so overstimulated having kids. [1:47:42] That it's so mellow, you can be like, "Oh, [1:47:44] I actually get to think a little bit. [1:47:47] You know, like... [1:47:48] you know, finding a little boredom and creativity, that's how you get creative. If you're constantly, if it's like, [1:47:54] Cocomelon and... [1:47:56] Paw Patrol and you're like you can hear the beats in your head like you can't do that i'm not gonna i'm like i can't do that to my kids [1:48:02] Favorite recent product you've discovered that you love? [1:48:06] Claude Cowork. [1:48:07] . [1:48:09] I mean, I love... [1:48:11] Cloud Coworking, sorry for mentioning AI, but I really only use a handful of products, so [1:48:15] Cloud Coworker is one of them, and Macrofactor. [1:48:20] for macro tracking and I got a whoop this last year and I [1:48:25] I've lost almost 50 pounds just paying attention to... [1:48:28] my whoop stats and like trying to sleep and, [1:48:31] You could tell I'm a pretty obsessive guy, so data still geeks me out a little bit on that. But those are the three products that I would use every day.

[1:48:39] And a little bit of Gemini, too. Those are the two... [1:48:41] In my opinion, winning the race. [1:48:43] Do you have a favorite life motto that you find yourself coming back to in work or in life? [1:48:48] Always give more than you expect to receive. [1:48:50] It's like a golden rule plus plus. [1:48:53] That's how networking works. [1:48:56] You don't network with someone trying to take... [1:48:59] You say, how can I help you? [1:49:01] And that's a [1:49:03] That's a principle from Cialdini also. [1:49:05] Right. And, uh, [1:49:07] How to Win Friends and Influence People. [1:49:09] Right. [1:49:10] Thank you. [1:49:11] That's not why I do it. I'm just suggesting. That's an area where you can read more on that. [1:49:17] Final question. You're starting a foundation. [1:49:20] a non-profit yeah i'm i'm working for or i'm on the board of the cody de roof foundation [1:49:27] And that's in Bozeman, Montana. [1:49:30] And what we do is, my son has cystic fibrosis. Yeah, and cystic fibrosis is a [1:49:36] genetic condition, I'll actually talk a little bit more about it in [1:49:39] predetermined because [1:49:40] His life was, quote-unquote, predetermined. We were... [1:49:44] not really accepting that. [1:49:45] But with our foundation, we help rural parts of Montana get access to [1:49:51] the healthcare that they need. [1:49:53] Yeah, and so they got me with this. [1:49:56] We helped this family. This woman, she had three boys. [1:50:00] This is a sad story, so bear with me. [1:50:02] So, [1:50:03] One of her boys, 29 years old, needed a lung transplant. This is what cystic fibrosis does. So we've made it to 29 is good. Life expectancy used to be 7 to 10 years old.

[1:50:12] So made it to 29, needed a lung transplant. [1:50:15] She couldn't afford it. [1:50:17] And her son passed away. She had two other boys with cystic fibrosis. [1:50:22] And then so her 27-year-old son, two years younger, [1:50:25] Needed a lung transplant. [1:50:27] And she actually found out that our agency existed in that area. [1:50:31] that period. [1:50:31] And we funded the life flight to Denver Children's Hospital to get [1:50:36] Bye. [1:50:36] life-saving surgery and saved her son's life. [1:50:39] And... [1:50:41] That sounds like a great story. [1:50:43] The part that got me was that now the mama feels all this guilt because she could have saved her son's life if she knew he existed. [1:50:50] In that part, I was in tears thinking about that. [1:50:54] I did. [1:50:55] I've talked a little bit about my son's diagnosis. It's not defining our life, but [1:50:59] my wife and I prayed about this and it was, [1:51:02] If it would happen to anyone, it should happen to us. [1:51:05] because of [1:51:06] As soon as that happened, I made a handful of phone calls. I've [1:51:09] I did all this networking to be selfish and build my career and do these things and [1:51:13] And that give before you ask it to receive philosophy of always kind of live by that undersell over deliver. [1:51:20] And within 24 hours of his diagnosis, I had a phone call from the chief medical officer at Denver Children's Hospital at Stanford University. [1:51:27] Yeah. [1:51:27] I got a call from the FDA that said, don't worry, your son's medication is getting lower to one-year-old. [1:51:34] And the Trikafta is going from six to two. [1:51:36] So he may never experience a symptom in his life. [1:51:39] Because this has changed now. [1:51:41] So, [1:51:42] Like I felt this is immense blessing and support through that. So that's that foundation. We support these rural areas that don't have access to that health care.

[1:51:50] And then I've also started conversations with the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, which is [1:51:55] really help funding they help fund the life-saving medication that changes the life expectancy from 7 to 70 years old and [1:52:02] They are expected to have full lives now. So, [1:52:05] That's something I'm very passionate about. [1:52:07] Incredible. [1:52:08] Oh man, there's so many. [1:52:10] So many topics and directions we could have gone with this. [1:52:14] Uh, [1:52:15] Jacob. I know I blew you out. I blew you out of the water, man. Sorry. I monologue like nobody's business. I've had worse. [1:52:26] Okay. Where can folks find you online if they want to reach out? Maybe follow up on some of this stuff? And how can listeners be useful to you? [1:52:33] Listeners can be useful just by advocating for themselves. [1:52:37] Rising tide forever. That's important. [1:52:39] I don't like [1:52:41] I guess I don't really have social media. I deleted LinkedIn. The post I wrote about that kind of went viral on Substack, which is cool. I think I shared that one with you. [1:52:50] I have... [1:52:51] execsandthecity.com [1:52:54] which, yes, is a play on sex in the city. It's kind of explaining some of the things that people are afraid to talk about. [1:53:00] So execs in the city is my substack. [1:53:03] And I write once a week on Thursday morning. [1:53:05] and I share [1:53:07] little thoughts on what's happening occasionally i'll share case studies on what clients have done [1:53:11] I'll share play-by-plays and the actual scripts. [1:53:14] That's also where I have a free job search course. It's about eight hours that I filmed. I used to sell it for like a grand, and now I just give it away for free.

[1:53:21] That's also available on the YouTube, which is Execs in the City. [1:53:25] which I have like 100 subscribers, so don't expect a lot of content from me. I'm not pumping out video content all the time. [1:53:31] Um, [1:53:32] And then there's a small paid tier if somebody wants to get discounts on coaching, [1:53:37] They also get access to Jacob GPT. Well, so another AI mentioned is digitally trained on, I think you have one too, right? Yeah. It's like trained on all my content. Lenny bot. Yeah. So it's, it's like a, [1:53:47] Jigabot, which is a minor Lennybot. [1:53:49] I trained on my content. [1:53:51] And then I do some additional case studies for them. [1:53:55] And then my actual business is thinkwarwood.com. [1:53:58] Which [1:53:59] just tells you outcomes that we've been able to deliver. [1:54:02] But, [1:54:03] I'm not going to ask you for Instagram or anything like that. [1:54:06] Just real simple. [1:54:07] Try to keep it at sub stack only really. [1:54:09] Jacob, this was awesome. Thank you so much for being here. [1:54:13] Thank you, Lenny. I appreciate the time today. And again, I was real giddy about it. And your motto was to have fun. I had a lot of fun today. Thank you. That's right. Here we go. People don't see this if they're waiting till the end of this podcast. I have this little pocket. I show all the guests their goal is to have fun. So Easter egg. [1:54:27] All right, Jacob, thank you so much. Bye, everyone. [1:54:38] Also, please consider giving us a rating or leaving a review, as that really helps other listeners find the podcast. [1:54:44] You can find all past episodes or learn more about the show at Lenny's podcast dot com. [1:54:50] See you in the next episode.